I stared at the door for a long time. I am not sure if I stared because I wanted Zen to come back or if I expected Alex to bust into the room and question me about our breakup. It was all a little confusing and part of me thought I was in a dream.

A dream and a nightmare wrapped in one. The whole thing was just some bad wonderful dream that I would wake up from soon. I tried to convince myself of this several times as I sat there just waiting for something to happen.

"What is going on with me? I should definitely be grieving my breakup right now, but having Zen close..."

I laid there, my mind racing with everything that happened. The nightmares, the computer, waking up on Nami, meeting Zori, meeting Zen, breaking up with Alex. It all played over in my mind and my head began to hurt.

Taking a deep breath in and slowly releasing it I looked over at the door again. The image of Zen walking out the door played before me. I should have stopped him from leaving. I should have just let him have his way with me like my body wanted. It felt nice to be wanted the way he wanted me. I hadn't felt like that in a long time. While I couldn't ever forget about Alex, I had never felt so drawn to someone as I did when I was with Zen. It was like everything that felt wrong to do with Alex felt right to do with Zen. As if a part of me subconsciously remembered him and what we were or were supposed to be. So why couldn't I get my brain to work with me and remember something more about Zen...about me...about us... about anything from before.

"Maybe he was right. I'm just too scared to admit it or accept it. This is my life now. If I want to remember anything I have to be open about this situation. I owe it to myself to find out what happened and what could happen."

Sure I loved Alex we were together for two years and friends for ten years. Those two years we never really took it any further than a few passionate kisses. Every time we tired to push past the zone of friendship I would stop him and remove myself from the situation. I know Alex cared about me and he probably did in fact love me, but the love I held for him felt different. I guess I couldn't take him completely out of the friend zone no matter how much I tried. He would always be like an older brother to me and not a lover.

Or maybe I was just using Alex. I sought for a way to fill an empty void and when he asked me out I held on to him like my very life depended on us being together. Having him in my life meant everything to me. To have someone to talk to and go home to after a long day. He was my family, especially after my foster parents died. Maybe I never really thought about our relationship seriously. Thinking back on it I probably should have turned him down and kept him strictly as a friend. I should have let Alex go a long time ago. Was I truly that scared of being alone I'd subject a person I cared for to suffer like I did Alex?

"You are a piece of shit, Tess." I muttered to myself.

Zen on the other hand was a different story. I felt a connection between us that I couldn't explain away. I could feel the passion, lust, and deep love he had for me. It was like he had this need to protect me at all cost. Maybe all that time I spent on earth living out my life trying to fill the void and failing to was because everything I was looking for wasn't on earth, but on this planet called Nami. Granted I just woken up and met them all again for the first time in thirteen years, but I remembered something at least and if my being on Nami would help me regain the memories I lost then I would stay to get the answers that I so desperately needed. The connections I lost would be returned to me if I stayed on Nami with Zori and Zen. Even if I couldn't ever remember this place felt more comfortable and unbelievably familiar than anything I saw on Earth. I would miss Earth, sure. I had a few happy moments living on the planet. Mostly with my foster parents and Alex, but they were still good memories.

"You're home now, Contessa. Let's try to get to know this place and the people who live here. This could be the answer to all those tears and prayers." I whispered.

I remembered the nightmares I used to have when I was younger as I looked around the room. I slowly realized that parts of it matched the room from my dreams. The only thing I couldn't ever see in those dreams were the faces of the people who were around me at the time. I only remembered that I spent a great deal of time with a young man. Maybe Zen was the young man from my dream, I wasn't sure, but I couldn't lay in bed the rest of my life wondering and guessing what might happen, what might not happen, was I human or was I Namian. None of it would matter in the long run I would always be me regardless of my past and I would always have a piece of my heart down on earth where I lived most of my life, but I had a chance to live a life I would dream about often. To be with the family I thought had abandoned me.

I ripped the blanket off me and sat up right. My legs still felt a bit stiff but I didn't like not being able to move about. Slowly moving one leg at a time off the side of the bed I prepared myself to get up and try to walk. I inched my way over to the end of the bed and grabbed onto the post for support and used what strength I had to pull myself up. Hugging the bed post for dear life I stood there until I was comfortable enough to stand up right without help. I took a deep breath before taking one tiny step forward. Lifting my foot slightly off the floor and placing it down a few inches in front of me. My foot landed on the floor and I felt myself lean slightly backward. I threw my hand behind me and pushed it against the bedpost balancing myself and praying I didn't fall. As I became a bit more steady excitement got the best of me and I threw up my hands and smiled.

"Ha! I did it!"

Basking in triumph I looked at the door and thought about trying to reach it, but my little moment of victory was short lived as the door opened and in walked Zori with two female servants holding trays. We stared at each other for a berif moment I felt my legs begin to buckle and fell straight down my butt hitting the floor.

"Ow!"

I sat there and rubbed the side of my thigh as my face screwed up.

Zori ran over to me and picked me up then placed me on the bed.

"What do you think you're doing? I can't let you get up yet. We first have to examine you to make sure you are okay to be moving around. AsYou've been sleeping off the trip from Earth for weeks. Your body needs time to adjust and slowly learn how to function normally." Zori said.

"I just wanted to go after Zen. I think I might have hurt his feelings. We were talking and joking around and then someone came in mentioning a guy named Brenten wanting to meet me. He got really upset and then," I sighed and looked up at him. "Have you ever felt your heart being pulled in two different directions?"

Zori pushed my hair back out of my face and behind my ear and smiled. The servants walked over to the sitting area and set up the trays of food. He looked over at a servant and motioned for her to hand him a drink.

He handed me the cup then said, "I understand how confusing this might all be for you right now. At one time I had my heart leading me in two different directions. In the end I chose the one that held my heart the most."

I took the cup and sighed, "How did you figure that out though? Is there some kind of trick that can help?"

Zori chuckled as he took a seat beside me,
"I'm afraid there is no formula, trick, or magic spell you'll have to find out the answer yourself."

He patted me on the head and the dull pain behind my eyes came back. My mind went blank then my vision blurred out. Staring off into a black space I began to see a little girl with sliver white hair sitting on Zori's lap. She was crying and he stroked her head gently. I couldn't make out what they were saying, but I could tell that Zori was trying his best to calm the young girl down.

I held my head as the pain started to throb and my breathing sped up. There was a burning around my eyes and my chest felt like it would soon burst open. Holding my head and hurling myself forward I began to scream loudly as the pain consumed me.

Soon my mind was filled with thoughts of the little girl and Zori. The one that stuck out the most was about a glass doll laying on the ground with a broken arm as the young girl cried hysterically.

I felt my bed shift and looked up to see Zori with his eyes wide and a frown. I hadn't even noticed that he caught me in his arms to keep me from hitting the floor.

"Contessa, what is the matter?" Zori asked panicked.

I clenched my chest and placed my head on his shoulder, "My doll...her broken arm...he broke it on purpose...why did he have to break it."

"Quickly go get the doctor." Zori told one of the servants.

I heard footsteps darted out of the room while Zori and the other servant tried to calm me down and ease my pain.

"My doll...my favorite doll. Doma! Doma! My doll it was broken! He did it! He broke her arm..." I cried.

With a slight rocking motion my head was being stroked. Tears stained my face as the pain subsided and my breathing slowed. Not asleep or awake I listened as Zori and the servant spoke.

"Is she okay?" The servant asked

"She seems to have calmed down for now. We'll have the doctor take a look at her." Zori said.

"General, the doll she spoke of could that have been the one her mother left for her."She said.

"I think it might be. Brenten broke the arm off of it as a punishment for her being late for training one day." He said.

The door must have opened because I heard one more voice asking what had happened.

I slowly drifted off and blocked every noise in the room except for one. The sound of Zori's voice as he gave swift orders to make sure I was okay. Until finally even his voice vanished into the darkness...