I must have fallen asleep at some point because it felt like I was floating after a while. My head rested on something that smelled pleasant. Like cinnamon and citrus. I slowly opened my eyes to find I was in Zen's arms again.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Taking you over to your bed; if you were tired, we could have just rested on the bed instead of sitting on the couch. Things like kissing can wait until you are at full strength."

My face felt hot as I remembered what happened on the couch. How could I fall asleep in the middle of something like that? Embarrassment would be the perfect word to carve on my gravestone as the cause of death. I wondered if the failed attempt at being physical with him made him upset or made him think of me as a child.

"I wasn't tired. We could have continued."

He looked down at me and our eyes met. A smile on his face showed how he let the idea of continuing our make-out session played out in his mind then he said,

"Really, you looked tired, though. Only those who are tired sleep, no? Perhaps a nap to restore the energy you used up in that kiss."

My eyes narrowed a bit, clicked my tongue, and replied,

"I had no idea you could be such a smart ass..."

Zen lifted one side of his mouth as he chuckled softly and placed me on the bed. He sat down next to me, and I motioned for him to get closer. Even if we just laid next to each other it was more than enough to keep my thoughts from racing and becoming dark. I had him lie down and I rested my head on his chest and closed my eyes. If I fell asleep while we were kissing earlier, he was right, and I did need to rest. A lot had happened, met my family, broke up with my mentally abusive boyfriend, became friends with my fiancée, and made out with him. You would think with all that, I would be spiraling down a dark hole wondering where I went wrong, but when I closed my eyes, I saw Alex and Zen standing next to each other smiling. Each of them had their hand stretched out to me as if to say come to me.

Alex had been my best friend since high school and the first boy I ever dated seriously to my knowledge. I could feel my eyes begin to water and the hot tears that pooled up slowly made their way down the side of my face. Biting my bottom lip, I tried to forget everything about Alex. The way he smiled, the way he laughed, the way he ate his food, how he brushed his teeth...everything. The bed shifted and my eyes snapped open, and I looked over to see Zen face-to-face with me.

"What are you doing now?"

"I am watching you cry and wondering how I can cheer you up."

I inhaled and felt my face get hot.

"I'm sorry I'm being such a blubber baby."

He smiled a bit, but he looked more sad than happy. Moving a bit closer to me he placed his hand on the side of my face. Using his thumb, he brushed away my tears

"I just want to be next to you."

I sat up a bit and looked down at him and he smiled. Lost in his gaze, I thought back to what he said on the couch about him just wanting to have me in his life. I blinked then looked down at his lips. They felt so soft against mine and I inhaled at the thought of feeling them again. He placed his hand on my waist and pulled me to him. My heart began to race a bit and I could feel my cheeks heat up. My breathing became rhythmic, and my palms started to get clammy. Clearing my throat as our faces were inches apart, I whispered,

"Zori, told me we are engaged. Is that true?"

He paused for a moment as he thought to himself. Then he took a lock of my hair into his hand and played with it.

"Yes, we've been engaged since we were little. I wasn't happy about it when I first found out," He smiled and pulled my hair up to his lips then kissed it. He then looked over at me and chuckled, "I remember you always joked about us getting married. Saying that it would lead to the most adventurous couple in history. I don't think either of us really understood what it meant in our youth."

"Are we still engaged? Even after all that has happened?"

"I am not sure, to be honest. That is something we would have to take up with our families. I know my parents would welcome any marriage at this point since I am well past the age many men settle down. As for me, I am just genuinely happy to finally have you home. Talking of the future can be done when you are better. "

I could feel the heat between us grow as he pulled the lock of my hair back up to his lips.

"I guess I am happy to be home, too. It feels a bit weird saying that suddenly," I pulled away from him and laid back down on the bed, my eyes scanning the ceiling, "I mean, I don't remember this place at all, but I feel a sense of calm that I haven't felt in a long time."

He turned so that he was leaning over me and removed a strand of hair from out of my face with his free hand. His fingers brushed up on my cheek slightly as our eyes met and he stared at me with a longing gaze.

"Do you want to continue what we started earlier?"

I looked away from him and bit the inside of my lip. My heart continued racing like a colony of bees buzzing around making honey,

"I'm supposed to have dinner with Zori later. I should rest up before then."

He pulled my face back towards him and let his thumb trace my lips,

"Don't run from me, Contessa."

I released a sigh and closed my eyes,

"Just go with the flow, silly..."

The tone of his voice sounded as if he wanted to jump for joy.

"Go with the flow..."

I opened my eyes to look at him

"Yes...the flow..."

He leaned in and our lips touched. I wrapped my arm around him, and I pulled him in closer to me. He held me by my waist and caressed me slowly. I pulled away briefly and stared him in the eyes,

"Should we really be doing this?"

"What do you mean? Do you not enjoy it?"

"I do, I mean, I am enjoying every moment. But I don't want us to go making rash decisions. I just broke up with someone, should we slow down?"

He kissed me again then pulled away,

"I can stop if you truly wish."

I bit my bottom lip as he stared down at me.

"Maybe we should take things slow."

"Yes of course...slow."

He turned and sat up on the side of the bed. I reached over to him and touched his back to get his attention.

"It's not that I don't want to. Trust me, I do. It's just we just met in my eyes, and I just broke up with Alex. I don't want to jump into anything. I mean, believe me, I'm fighting extremely hard not to pull you back over here. Please don't be upset."

He looked down at the floor and I could see him fighting with himself not to pout.

"I'm not, I'm not. I assure you I'm not. When you are ready. We will go at your pace."

I sat up and touched his arm and he looked over at me. I raised an eyebrow and shook my head slightly,

"You are a terrible liar. You know that right? The disappointment on your face is so easy to see."

"It's just one minute you say let's continue then the next it's slow down and wait. It is rather frustrating."

With a smile on my face, I burst into laughter.

"I'm sorry, but your pouting face is just too adorable. I will not give you any more mixed signals, next time we start something we'll follow through."

He chuckled a little while his cheeks flushed and then we just locked in a never-ending stare. His eyes were so breathtaking; I could stare into them forever and never tire of them. I felt completely safe with him, and I thought about what life was like when we were together in our youth.

"Tell me something, what do you see in me honestly," I searched his eyes for any hint of his true feelings, "I mean you've known a side of me that I don't. My actual first memory is waking up in a hospital. Although there are dreams, most of them I can't remember, and I haven't a clue as to what are memories and what is just my dream."

"I love everything about you. Full of spirit and always wanting to train," he pulled his arm away from mine and looked up at a picture on the wall near the door, "I remember we had a dream to both join the military. Your father didn't want that for you, but it was in your blood. Fast at learning any of the combat techniques that anyone would show you and at such an early age...we were such great friends and so intricately connected. You gave me a sense of calm. As the only male heir in my family, I've had a lot of pressure on me, but when I'm with you my social status means nothing, I am just Zen."

I stared at the picture he was looking at. It was of a young girl no more than six years old and she held two blades of some type. The smile on her face was one of determination. Beside her stood a boy covered in dirt and held up a raised fist as if to declare victory. They both looked so happy in that picture.

"I can't remember, but I can feel that there is a connection of some sort." I looked over at him and smiled warily, "Has it been hard for you and Zori, I mean my dad? He said I had a mission to complete the day I was lost."

"It was hard. I know it must have been even harder for your father." Zen looked back at me, and his eyes began to water, "Can you imagine losing the love of your life and then years later the child you both brought into the world and promised to protect?"

"How it must have felt to watch me grow from afar and stay completely in control of your emotions. I can only imagine what it would be like. The silent torture the both of you had to go through."

"I was still a young boy at that time. My emotions were laid out on the table for everyone to see. It wasn't until the coming-of-age ceremony that I gained some control," He sat up straight as if to better reflect on his actions as a young boy. "I had lost my best friend and the love of my life. Silly I know to say that, but I couldn't place what I was feeling until I was much older."

I could feel a warmth surrounding me as his words began to melt my heart. A rush of emotions flooded me that I couldn't explain. Or perhaps, I could explain them, but just wanted to play the fool.

So, what happened after everyone realized I was gone?"

He moved up closer to me and placed a hand on the side of my face. The smoothness of his skin upon mine made a rush of electricity flow through me. He smiled and ran his thumb across my cheek.

"I requested to be on the team to search for you. I wanted you back home, it was lonely without you here...not just for me, but for everyone who knew you."

"I'm sorry..."

"No, you've nothing to apologize for. It is the Elder Council that should apologize to you and your father." He placed his forehead up against mine and inhaled deeply, "The general was against you taking on the mission from the very start, but because you were the star pupil of the military academy, they told him he had no say in the matter."

"Well, I am back. It may take me some time to remember, but for now, let's pick up where we left off."

Zen kissed my forehead and sat back then smiled. I froze in shock as his soft lips pressed against my skin. My face felt hot, I was convinced that it had to be as red as a tomato. He then leaned in close to my ear as if he wanted to share a secret and I waited to see what he did next.

"Interesting fact: the last day I saw you was the first time we kissed."

I pushed him away quickly and placed my hand over my ear. The heat from his breath still radiated across it.

His laughter boomed throughout the room as he braced himself from falling back.

"You did the same thing last time, too."

Flustered and still wanting desperately to ignore what I was feeling for him I reached over and pushed him again.

"Are you trying to make me faint? You can't go whispering things like that in my ear."

He laughed again and looked at me with a boyish smile across his face. His eyes shined with a newly found spark. I could tell the man in front of me was still a little boy deep down inside. I began to laugh with him after a while. It felt great to be in such good company. How long had it been since I last laughed and smiled as much as I did at that moment?

A soft knock came to the door followed by a small voice.

"May I enter?"

Zen and I looked at the door and saw a young girl standing there peeking in at us.

"OH GOD, DID YOU SEE THAT JUST NOW!" I said.

"Um, yes..." She replied.

"Calm down Contessa. We haven't done anything wrong." Zen said.

I pulled my blanket over my head and moaned.

"I am completely horrified. Don't do unexpected things when people are confused."

Zen grabbed hold of the blanket and kept pulling it down from over my face. His chuckles were playful and a bit contagious. We joked around with the blanket giggling until the young girl made her presence known once again by clearing her throat.

"Umm, if I may speak, General Brenten wishes to have a word with you, Lady Contessa," the girl said.

Zen's face grew dark as he heard the name Brenten. He released a small growl as he turned to face the girl who now stood before us petrified.

"What business does he have with Contessa?"

"Unfortunately, I cannot answer that, sir. I am only here to get the permission of Lady Contessa to meet with her, sir." The girl said.

"She is not well enough to meet with others as of yet. You can give him that message and tell him it is by order of her father General Zori," He took hold of my hand and kissed the back of it then looked at the girl, "Also if he wishes to meet with my bride he will do so only when she is medically clear and in my presence."

His voice sounded so lifeless and cold. I pressed his hand slightly and whispered,

"Zen..."

The girl, visibly shaking, inched her way back to the door and grabbed the handle.

"Yes, sir! Right away, sir."

With that, she quickly exited the room, and you heard her footsteps disappear down the hall. I pulled on his arm and let out a sigh.

"Did you really have to say it like that? The poor girl was scared white."

Zen looked over at me as I stared at his face. He gripped my hand in his and pulled it up to his face. Holding my hand to his cheek he stared me down with his grey eyes. He leaned in closer to me and I exhaled as I closed my eyes. I felt his hand on my face, and I snuggled my cheek into his it. I could feel the bed shifting as he moved forward and feel his breath brushing across my lips.

"You are not to speak to Brenten. He may be part of our military family, but he is not to be trusted." He whispered.

I licked my lips and exhaled slowly, "What do you mean?"

"Just promise me you won't grant him an audience without me with you."

I opened my eyes and saw him looking straight into them.

"Why..."

"Because he sided with The Elders...I can't lose you again, Contessa."

"You won't lose me, Zen."

As if he were lying claim to me, he pressed his lips to mine in a desperate attempt to prove it. I reached for him, pulling him closer as I returned his kisses. My fingers tangled in his hair as our kisses became more passionate with each pause for the air we took. The undeniable tension and heat between us were nothing more than an attraction for one another. A fervent desire wanting to be held by each other, to hold each other. I pulled him with me as I laid back on the bed. He kissed me along my neck and his hand slid across my body and he made his way to my chest. I gasped as he pressed on them gently and began to knead them between his fingers. He slid his other hand and traced my curves as he pulled me in closer. My body screamed for him to keep going. I didn't want him to stop. It was the first time I had ever craved another person so deeply. The moans that escaped me grew louder as we continued.

He pulled himself away from me quickly and sighed. Sitting up he groaned and sighed again.

"What is wrong, Zen?"

"This shouldn't have happened, I apologize."

"What do you mean by that?"

"You had made it perfectly clear that we should take things slow. My desire to have you almost took advantage of you while you are in such an emotional state."

More tears came and I hid my face by throwing an arm across my eyes as I sank back into my pillows. He was right but I still wanted him to continue. I wanted to feel his bare skin on mine and to have him claim every inch of my body with his lips. Was I wrong for feeling this way about someone I had recently reunited with? Maybe I was, but what scared me was the fact that I no longer cared if it was wrong. Or if we were moving too fast. All I knew was that I wanted him.

"Zen, just make me yours already. My heart can't take much more of this back and forth. I just want you. This feeling is new to me and as much as it scares me, it also feels nice. So, please, just make me yours and help me forget all those years of pain."

Zen pulled my arm from over my eyes and with a smile on his face, he leaned in to kiss my forehead. Sitting up a bit he looked down at me and wiped my tears with his thumb and kissed each one of my eyelids.

" Contessa, I love you with all my essence, this I swear to you. But I can't let the first time I hold you be to forget another man's presence. I will make you mine, but first I will start with mending your heart, then your soul. Only then can I truly be worthy of your body."

"You are too good for me, Zen" I pushed him back to put some space between us, "I broke up with my boyfriend because I felt like we drifted apart and now I'm sitting here trying to take advantage of a fiancée I don't remember. I just found out about this world, about Zori, and you. I'm just the worst, right now."

"You are not taking advantage of me. If anything, I'd say I am taking advantage of you. I just wanted to kiss you so badly so I took a chance and kissed you."

"I guess I just need some time to get used to everything. To familiarize myself with the life I once had. Maybe regain the memories I've lost. But I don't think we can just call ourselves just friends, not with the way we keep attacking each other's lips."

"I wouldn't be opposed to having a relationship other than friendship."

I giggled and pulled him down for a quick peck on the lips.

"I bet you wouldn't."

He got up and looked down at me.

"Well, you rest up before your dinner with the general. I will go to the training grounds for a bit."

He turned to walk towards the door, and I grabbed his hand.

"Zen wait, please."

"Yes..."

"I do want to remember you. I want to understand the connection I feel when I'm with you. To understand why I am so attracted to you. And once I do then I will make you mine... "

"Such a bold declaration. You understand it perfectly well. That connection you speak of is called love, Tess."

He walked towards the door as I sat up on the bed.

"How can you be so sure that is what I'm feeling?"

He opened the door and paused for a second,

"I know because it is the only thing that has kept me moving forward. The mind may forget but the heart doesn't."

"Then perhaps this is love. Only time will tell."

"I will come by tomorrow and check on you, for now, take care, Contessa."

He walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. I sat there looking at the door and slowly my heart became heavy with a sadness that I couldn't explain away. I already missed him.