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Heaven

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Chapter 17: Heaven (Delilah's POV)

I blinked once, then twice, staring at Spencer after he asked me a question I was hoping he'd never ask. 

"Delilah." 

"Yes?" 

"You've never been kissed before, have you?" he repeated. 

"What makes you say that?" I asked, trying my best not to stammer. 

"The look on your face. You're surprised and dare I say, nervous." 

"I'm not nervous," I lied, clearing my throat and grabbing the hairbrush. 

He took it out of my hand and put it back on the vanity, keeping it away from me. "You look nervous." 

"I'm not," I snapped defensively, turning to face him. 

He smirked, stepping closer to me and I stepped back instinctively. I leaned against the vanity and he stepped in front of me, caging me in, his hands planted on the vanity. "You are," he smiled softly, bringing one hand up and tucking my hair behind my ear. 

I stared up at him, blinking. His eyes traveled across my face, lingering on my lips before flicking back up to my eyes. "We have to kiss, don't we?" I whispered. 

"It doesn't quite make sense if we don't," he replied, his hand resting under my jaw. 

"I suppose it does make sense," I mumbled under my breath. "Considering the fact that we cuddle." 

He watched me in amusement. "I didn't think you were a light sleeper at all." 

"I don't lie about things like that. I am a light sleeper, I know what I do. I just thought you'd mind, but you don't. I thought you'd push me off, but you don't do that either. You cuddle me back," I smirked. 

"Should I not? What do you prefer your husband to do?" 

I could feel and notice him leaning in, his conversation isn't doing much to distract me from that. "You know, conversation doesn't make me feel any less nervous." 

"This isn't something to be nervous about," he chuckled, dropping his hands down to my waist. 

It's weird and twisted. We barely touch each other during the day and whenever I'm in his bed, we sleep with our limbs intertwined, every inch of our bodies touching. And tonight, we're expected to act like we've been doing this all along. He's acting like it too and I have no choice but to play along. It shouldn't be a problem, and it really isn't, except it is when I think about what I'm really supposed to do once we're married. 

Kill him. 

"We don't have to kiss right now. But we should during the party later. I'll leave it up to you. Do you want the first time to be up here or downstairs in front of everybody?" 

I rolled my eyes. "It's not much help when you phrase it like that." 

"It's the truth," he shrugged. 

"Do we really have to kiss in front of everybody?" I asked. "I mean, why must we give them a show? It's not necessary for couples to—" My eyes widened and I let out a small gasp as his fingers tightened around my waist while he jerked me forward, pulling my body flush against his. Simultaneously, he leaned down and smashed his lips on mine, one hand moving up to my chin, tilting my head up so we were kissing at a better angle. 

He didn't do much, he pulled away barely a minute later, staring at me. "Relax," he mumbled against my lips, leaning back in. "And close your eyes, Delilah." 

I didn't. I was too scared. 

"Trust me. Do it." 

I took in a small breath and shut my eyes, feeling his lips back on mine almost immediately. I kissed him back this time, doing whatever felt right. My hands gripped onto the edge of the counter, tightening when he deepened the kiss, his tongue brushing against my bottom lip in the process. My hands slipped off the vanity and I grabbed onto him. I wasn't thinking about what kissing Spencer Romano would feel like, but this is not what I was expecting. This is the furthest from what I would have imagined. I tried thinking about it before but I just couldn't picture Spencer kissing me or anybody for that matter. 

He seems like a person who's rarely done that. He seems like he would think he's better and above relationships. 

I snapped out of my thoughts when he pulled away and broke the kiss. He lifted a brow at me, smirking. "Done? Was that enough?" 

"Enough for what?" I mumbled. 

He shook his head, smiling in amusement. "Nothing. What did you eat?" He grabbed the hairbrush and moved behind me, gathering my hair and starting to brush it. What in the world? Did he wake up in a different world today? Or is he just bringing the act another level up for tonight's audience? 

"What did I eat? I had a fruit salad. Why?" I mumbled, looking at him through the mirror. 

"You taste good." 

I froze, staring at our reflection in the mirror, zoned out, almost. "I, what?" 

"You taste good," he repeated. 

"I..." What do I say to that? 

"You don't have to say anything," he smirked, his eyes meeting mine in the mirror. 

"Ow," I winced when the brush tugged at a knot. 

His eyes went back to my hair, brushing it softly and detangling it. "Sorry," he mumbled absentmindedly. 

"It's okay," I replied. "You're acting weird," I pointed out, "Different. Is it because of all the people coming tonight?" 

"Partly," he nodded. 

"Why else?" I inquired, watching him in the mirror. It's strange, it's weird. Very weird. I didn't expect him to kiss me at all, let alone kiss me like that. I came here when I was eight, that wasn't exactly an age where I'd have a boyfriend. 

When I was growing up, my aunt had strictly forbidden boys from coming into the house or me going to a boy's house through my teenage years. I could barely go and stay at Willow's. I made sure she's coming tonight because I need someone to rant about my situation. I don't know if that's a good idea, it might not be the safest if Prince Nico or the king overhear. Anyhow, I had no chance to be kissed by any boy until now, especially like that. Especially like that. I have never been kissed at all, but I have definitely never had a kiss that felt like heaven and sin simultaneously. 

That's how it felt. Like heaven and sin. The kiss was better than I ever could have imagined, but it felt wrong to do. I'm practically manipulating and lying to him, whether I want to or not. I'm being forced to and there's nothing I can do about it. I can't tell him because the second his brother and father find out, they'll do something horrible to me or my uncle, I don't even want to imagine. If I don't tell him, I have to kill him. Otherwise, his brother and father will still do something horrible, just because I failed to do what they asked of me. 

Should I just run away? Go back to Zariya? 

"What are you thinking about, Daisy?" He sighed. "You look like you're deep in your thoughts." 

I blinked, as he leaned forward, his chest pressing against my back while he placed the brush back on the vanity. "Nothing," I lied. 

"You can't be thinking about nothing. We think about one thing or another constantly. You can tell me, you know." 

I turned around, facing him but my breath caught in my throat when I realized how close we were. Now, his body was flush against mine, front to front. "Spencer, what are you doing?" 

"I'm making a change." 

I blinked in confusion. 

"I thought about it for a long time. But I wasn't sure." 

"About what?" 

"About what we should do, how we should be." 

I watched him carefully. I pray, I hope, I beg God that he hasn't decided to finally trust me and let me in. It was painfully obvious all this time that he wasn't sure how far to let me in, how much to trust me, how close to keep me. I was hoping he'd decide to keep me at arm's length. If he decides to trust me and let me in, then it will be painfully obvious to his brother and father that I have opportunities and chances to kill him. I wanted a situation that wouldn't allow me to get close enough to ever kill him. He's giving me every opportunity to do just that. 

"We should be closer. This is a real marriage." 

"I thought you said it wasn't." 

"But it is. Whether we get married for the right reasons or the wrong ones, we're still married, at the end of the day. We'll still be living here together for the rest of our lives." 

Oh, god. 

"We'll still be husband and wife. We'll still be together, as a married couple. So, why not just give it a real chance?" 

Oh, kill me. Kill me now. Because if we give it a real chance, I'd have to kill you! "You want to..." I trailed off, not knowing how to finish my question. 

"I want to be a real husband, to my real wife, and be a real married couple," he smirked, tucking my hair behind my ear. "I thought about it for a long time, I was hesitant. Mainly to let you in. But I trust you." 

Don't Spencer, don't fucking trust me! 

"Can I trust you, Delilah?" He walked over to his nightstand and brought out both the boxes that held our rings. He showed them to me the day he bought them, and it really was perfect. He got it spot on, he knows what I would like. He knows me, he especially knows how to read me. He put them on the vanity, reaching around me. "Remind me to take those before we head downstairs." 

I nodded absentmindedly. 

"I can trust you then, yes?" 

I nodded again. 

"Use your words, Delilah." 

I stared at him, blinking. He sounds so authoritative. I should be intimidated, but I'm not. I should run. 

But I won't. 

"You can trust me." 

He shouldn't though. He nodded softly. "I'm glad." 

I made no promises to Prince Nico and the king. If I have to kill him, I can't say I won't try. I can't put my uncle's life on the line. But the first chance I get to tell Spencer, I'll do that too. As long as I get the chance to tell him before I get the chance to kill him. What worries me is that once we're married, I'm certain that his father and brother will intentionally create opportunities for me to kill him. I just have to avoid those. 

"You brushed my hair," I stated. "Can you braid it too?" I smiled. 

He chuckled, "I can try." 

"Great," I laughed.
I don't want to kill you, Spencer. I really fucking don't.

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Chapter 17

SORRY, I'M SO SORRY I DIDN'T UPDATE

I was just getting everything together since school just started, deciding what subjects to change and all that shit, I'm backkkk

next chapter: toast