Ben's p.o.v

My mother rounds up her troops and orders them to bring her the best ship to the loading dock they obey and in groups jog to the nearest exit.

She looks around the conference room her stare requesting silence

"As you all know Rey left to jakku a few weeks ago"

Everyone nods and a few grunt encouraging her to continue

"Well ben and myself heard her call out to us the other night, we think she might have been kidnapped" she says with a whisper

The crowd erupts with questions, most insult her, some are suggesting what might have happened, I look down at my mother to see her face has contorted, sadness evident.

They won't stop, she won't stop them I clench my hands into fist trying to contain my anger my finger nails dig into my palms and I can practically feel the steam pouring from my face

She deserves this one yelled

She should have stayed on that desert planet she isn't any help another screamed

This started and people followed with harsh words and cruel assumptions
My blood started to boil these fools would not shut up I glance around anxiously trying to regain my grounds so I don't explode

"Enough!" I screamed

I huff, well there goes trying to regain my grounds

The room silenced and looked in my direction, I couldn't breathe, my mother placed her hand on my arm and gave a small smile

"Rey has been kidnapped, she has given her life to the resistance, she believes you all are her family" I spoke out through gritted teeth

"We will find her and bring her home safely understood?" I ask,

They all nod a resistance girl steps forward "I will find her coordinates, we assume she is with the first order yes?"

"Unfortunately yes, what is your name?" I ask out of curiosity that this young woman would stand up to do this big of a task, before any men would offer

"My name is Rose" she pronounces proudly a smile plastered on her face

I give a small smile back " well I appreciate it very much rose, if you can find the coordinates as fast as possible that would be great"

She nodded and scurried off
I look around the room for a certain pair of idiots and notice they aren't here, shocker.

"Where is Finn and poe dameron?" I question the room

As if on cue they both barge in the room a bit too abruptly, their clothes and hair disheveled

"Excuse me commander but if you'd like to join us we're trying to figure out the best way to deal with the Rey situation" my mother speaks up

He straightens his jacket and pulls a hand through his hair and walks toward her
" Yes well general, the ship is ready when you are also Finn believes he knows where Rey is"

"Well Finn tell us where my scavenger is"
I command, grasping on to any hope of finding her I had left

"Ok so here's the thing"
~~~~
I pace around the front of the ship, Finn and poe flying the contraption while my mother is at the base to guide as we go

"So how is this going to work we can't just walk in there" I rub my temples trying to understand the plan they have told me at least a dozen times

"We have you dress up as kylo Ren, you bring us as prisoners, we snatched your lightsaber from Leia so you can use that and make it seem like you are taking place as supreme leader, got it" poe sighs out

Dress up as kylo Ren? Is this a joke

Finn throws me my suit and saber

"Please be careful with that thing we're not trying to die today" he let's out a scared chuckle and sits back in the co-pilot chair

I put my saber in my right hand and turn it on , oh yeah I'm so going to regret this
~~~~~

Finn sneaks us into a side corridor and runs through the plan again, explaining the routes we should use, and things i should say in case someone sees me, I zone out already having a plan of my own,i shift on my feet cringing at how bland and dark these once familiar hallways are. I dont really feel as normal here anymore, good thing i dont plan on coming back-, i look up as a scream pierces through my ears. i look around to see if it was just my imagination

"Did you all hear that?"

"Hear what" poe spits

I shake my head and continue to listen to Finn ramble on
My stomach begins to tighten, making me feel utterly sick, words repeat through my head over and over 

i am numb, i am numb, i am numb.

memories that arent mine flash through my mind, painful memories of destruction and intrusion

A tear slips down my cheek,

Rey?

I need to get to her she has to be around here somewhere
I grab their collars and push them in front of me, forgetting about the intricate plan finn had prepared.

" Hey watch yourself Ren" poe spits at me

"Get moving traitors" I put on a blank face and they put their arms behind their back knowing what Im doing,
I turn on my saber holding it to the side shoving them forward once more.

Tears continue to roll down my cheek and my mouth turns dry, the feeling of innocence leaving my heart although I don't believe it was my innocence leaving me.

I get a few strange looks, but no one questions most quicken their pace to get out of my sight afraid I will burst at any moment

We walk down corridor after corridor my breathing becomes tight, darkness swirls through my mind while an empty feeling holds a tight grip on my heart, my vision blurs, dots scatter through my eyes, I close my eyes and push through, heading towards the screaming

No one seems to notice the shrill sound or care about it thinking it's just a regular day on the finalizer

A set of troopers stop and point their blasters at us  but I don't waste time and wave my hand out in front of me,

"You will lead us to the scavengers Chambers" I command

They drop their blasters "we will lead you to the scavengers Chambers" they repeat in cold mono-toned voices
~~~

The pain, the defeat all the tears I've shed and all the sorrow in my heart my innocence lost, all of this pain yet none of it is even mine and it infuriates me to know she had to go through all of it, every single tear it should have never been shed

Whoever did this to her most definitely has hell to pay.
~~~

The hall is quiet and the lights continue to flicker on and off, a muffled scream echoes through the hall. I stiffen knowing who it belonged to

I order the two to stay put and tell them I would be right back.

I walk around different halls stopping to hear her and stopping from the pain I felt repeatedly pounding me in my core

I walk towards the sound, the screams getting quite by the second, the sound of a slap echoes and all noises stop, I run toward the door and curse under my breath there is only one man who uses this interrogation room. A man who I thought I could trust, we never truly got along but he always took care of things

And I just started to believe there was a good side to him but obviously I was wrong...

I throw my cloak onto the ground and brace myself, I kick the door down with a grunt
My jaw locks as I take in the scene in front of me, my blood boils and anger pumps through my veins, he hasn't sensed my prescense but she has and her lifeless stare is all I need to know that he most likely won't live to see tomorrow,
I grab the back off his collar and rip him off her throwing him to the side

I walk to her slowly, tears brimming my eyes, I can't believe him, I will make him suffer for what he did
I pull up her pants buttoning them and stand to see her eyes faced forward, shes emotionless completely empty, I swipe tears from her cheeks and feel her flinch from my touch

Hurt that she thinks I would ever harm her, hurt that I couldn't save her in time to save the most precious part of her, hurt that she has completely given up on everything
On me, on the resistance, on herself

I can feel it the anger, pain, disgust, fear she feels towards it all

I glance over at hux as he tries to pull himself back up,

"Honestly hux I thought your mother would have taught you a little consent" I spit at him

I walk up to him and connect my fist with his face causing him to fall back once more
"That was for disobeying my orders"

Pitiful, a discrace you have failed me general. You've failed yourself

Disgust and anger flow around me as he spits blood out and dangles his head in defeat
"You will not get away with this Ren" he grumbles trying to regain his footing on shaking legs

I pull my saber off my belt and twirl it in my hand
"Oh I believe I will" I smirk

His eyes widen in disbelief as he stumbles to get out of my reach

"this is for touching my scavenger" I scream at him

I plunge my saber into his chest and pull the blade up his torso and plunge it into his neck, his body slides off the saber causing him to fall limp on the floor
I switch my saber off and throw it to the ground,
my breath is ragged and my scavenger has not moved an inch her eyes still trained to the wall in front of her

I sigh and walk to her lifeless body, I break the cuffs off her ankles and wrists and take the cloth out of her mouth
I pick her up in my arms trying my best to not hurt her, I carry her out of the room, and back down the multiple corridors, shock flooding me

I am the reason for this I put her in danger I can't be with her, I am truly a monster

I lift up my head and walk slowly to where I told them to stay, and find Finn and poe standing against the wall shock, fear and sadness for the scavenger written all over their faces

"Is she ok" Finn whisper fear present in his eyes

"No, but she will be"

A.n.

Hey I know I said I would post this on Saturday but I forgot so here it is I hope you enjoy it's a bit dry and rushed but sometimes it's hard to write in his pov

Anywho I hope you enjoyed
Please tell me what you think and don't forget to vote
~<3 B