"I will be the gladdest thing
Under the sun!
I will touch a hundred flowers
And not pick one.~Edna St. Vincent Millay, "Afternoon on a Hill"

Snippet of a book I was reading. They sounded like Korali and Jordan lol(at the top).

Song: Begging for Thread by BANKS

Korali's Pov.(Not edited)

"Your mother?" I questioned not understanding what he meant exactly. His mother was crazy and a killer?

"Yes." He glanced away from me and towards Cailo and Max who finally stood and appeared to be taking that as a cue to leave. His body was tensed and awkward, I could see that even from where I sat. The vibe in the room was and they didn't want to be here for what was to come.

"I'm going to go monitor patrol," Max said breaking the small silence that settled around us. His light eyes looked anywhere but towards me and he started to walk towards the door.

"Uh, yeah." That was Cailo's stupid response after leaving Jordan and I alone. Which was dangerous because of my heat; very dangerous. Jordan's green eyes scanned me over which oddly felt so appealing that I nearly melted.

"But what does your mom have to do with—with us?" Could I even call us and 'us'?

"There will nev—my mom was a psycho; she should have never gotten a mate. Yet she did and look what destruction she's caused. Then she made me—all the worse, and Mahalia—she never even got the chance to—it doesn't matter. I'm protecting you Korali and I need you to understand that."

"So you think you're going to go crazy because your mom was and her mate seemed to trigger the crazy?" I took his silence as a yes. "Jordan that's completely stupid! Your mom was probably experiencing trouble within her head before she met your father and you would have that already."

"It's in my DNA, it's what is to become of me if I allow our mating. I would never do that to my people. To you. To our chi—to anyone." My heart pounded in my chest a thundering staccato that if it was any other time—I'd probably need to go get checked out for. If a heart could sprout limbs and personify as a human, I'm sure mine would be smiling at this point. As much as I tried to keep my face on neutral, the smile broke through like the sun on a cloudy day.

Jordan almost said "our children". That was hope. That was him. That was his manifest, his evince, he slight semblance of love for me; of care. He's thought about it and that was enough to send my mind into disarray and my hormones into a frenzy.

"Jordan I'm falling in love with you," to bear you're heart out like that to a person who wouldn't appreciate it was a hard thing to do. But it was the truth. My truth. And I refused to hide away from the feelings that were bound to happen, he was my mate, and he needed loving; to be loved and told that he wasn't evil.

"Stop saying that! I will never be your mate." He spat those words out in a manner that I could tell and even he could tell he didn't mean. They had various question marks hanging around them and I knew not to take it to heart. "Korali, you are here to be a Luna to the pack. To be my equal in pack rights. We are nothing, never to be, and that's the truth."

I got up from the floor not phased by his words anymore. "So, you're trying to tell me that you feel nothing for me?" I slipped my arms through my sweatshirt peeling it off my body; feeling suddenly hot. I dropped it to the floor and I watched Jordan's eyes follow my every move.

He swallowed before replying, "That's not what I'm saying. I'm very much attracted to you. I want you like no other, you are my vice, my virtue, and if I were to fuck you; my sin." He used the word fuck, as if to sound crude and uncaring. But I saw through it and he knew. "I refuse to hurt you in any way that can be prevented."

"The way you've been talking to me for months now have hurt me, you didn't prevent that."

"And I have the scars to remind of what I've done wrong to you." I was confused for a second then my eyes went to his wrists. The flesh that was tore a couple weeks ago.

"Jordan wh—?"

"I chain myself in my room whenever I know you're going to cry. But I force myself to hear. I caused your pain. It's a battle to not come to you. But I know its for the better."

The burn started quickly to the point where I didn't see it coming and it almost knocked my off my feet. Jordan was quickly at my side touching my arm gentle and then when it hit him his eyes instantly changed and he was backing me into the wall. I could hear his hands that were now on either side of me tearing into the wall and peeling the paint. His breathing was becoming labored and his forehead was against mine.

"We shouldn't—we can't. Don't let me," he stopped talking when I started to talk.

"Make the pain go away Jordan. Please."

His hands traveled from the wall and down the side of my arms in a rough caress that felt like he was peeling away the weariness. If my first time was going to be up against the wall, then so be it.

His hands traveled lower to my breast grazing over them slowly before hitting my most intimate part. He touched it lightly, but it was enough to have me calling out his name. This is what our mating wanted. He started to kiss me, being rough and passionate. The solider was not going to get honorable discharge for missing his troop. He let go of the lip-lock roughly and I'm sure my lips were bruised and he traveled down my neck nipping, sucking, and slightly licking. He did this all over my neck until he reached where he would mark me. My nails dug into the skin of his warm tanned arms and I just wanted him to finish this already; to make us one.

"Alpha!" An urgent voice called knocking on the door heavily as if it was life or death. Jordan didn't let go of me so quickly we just kind of looked at each other breathing hard, our foreheads pressed together. His breathing was frantic and when he finally released me he looked at the door confused. Luton was still beating incessantly and I decided to give Jordan a slight shove towards the door.

He shook his head a little before opening the door causing Luton to lunge forward a little. "Alpha, wolves have been spotted on the territory. They're—it—they are?"

"Luton get it out!" I yelled from my spot on the wall. I forgot Jordan didn't speak to them. He just expected his answers. He had patience in that aspect where I didn't.

I noticed his eyes widen at something on my neck before he averted his eyes and spoke. "Yes Luna. These wolves look familiar but bare no scent. I could swear I know them. But they—it doesn't make sense." Right now he wasn't making much sense, but Jordan seemed to understand him easily.

"Come on Korali." Jordan actually wanted me to come sent my head spinning but I got up and followed him out the door. Because we were well onto our 2nd day of heat the smell of strong pheromones was gone and now the heat will just sneak up on the two of us, not everyone else.

Jordan told me to wait here while he checked the surrounding area. I was by the lake where I accidentally grabbed him. I sat on a small stone, sighing and not understanding why I was even out here if I wasn't going to be able to see the action. Given he was only 20 feet away and that I could literally smell him, I still wanted to follow him around and understand some thing.

A breeze flew by me and I suddenly didn't feel alone anymore. I looked around squinting my eye and surveying my surrounding.

A girl about the age of 14 looked at me with her big eyes. I noticed that the two were not alike. One was brown and the other green. It reminded me of something or someone but I just couldn't put my finger on it. Her penny bronzed hair was in a lengthy braid to the back and she had markings of berries on her cheeks. She looked like a young warrior princess. She was a very beautiful little girl. She put her finger up to her lips and for some reason I listened. She smiled at me with a look of malice. She turned her face and studied me.

"Who are you?" I asked watching her every move. She wasn't circling me, just standing near her bush that I'm sure she had come from.

"That does not matter. I've come to see how he's done. Obviously nothing. Waste of time. Waste of boy, of an Alpha, like they said." She rolled her eyes inching closer to me during her speaking. He eyes taking in every detail and sparkling with interest.

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing that is of importance at the moment. But when you're screaming for agony at his death. You'll understand." The look on her face told me that she was completely serious and that there was some big plan for Jordan; to kill him.

As my mind put the pieces together I screamed. "JORDAN!" I saw a moment of panic in the girl's eyes before she disappeared through the bush not leaving a trace or scent behind. She smelled like nothing.

The split second Jordan showed up he scooped me in his arms, his eyes frantically searching my body to see if I was okay. "What?"

My eyes scrunched together in confusion. "I—I think I just saw your little sister."

Jordan's eyes blanked before his face conformed into one of anger. "I knew I shouldn't have brought you. I knew you were only going to see severe matters as a joke."

"Jordan I'm not joking!" I huffed as he practically dropped me onto my feet. "Why would I lie about that! I know she's a touchy subject."

"How would you even know what my sister look—of course the box! That's where you got the necklace. Going through my things." Of course he would bring that up at this time. Jordan would use anything to argue.

"Jordan, I'm not kidding. I saw your sister or someone who looked like your mom. She was about 14 or so with green and brown eyes and she just told me that you were going to be killed. She said something about you being a 'waste of a boy, of an alpha'. I'm not sure what she was talking about but I thought that you should know."

I watched his face morph into one of disbelief when I told him what she said, then he turned stoic. "Mahalia's dead if you didn't know. It couldn't have been her, since I watched them bury her dead body, right along with my Father's." He left it at that and started to walk back to the house. How could I defend my argument when he had something as definite evidence, like that?

I know what I saw though; and it was the girl from those pictures. And I could tell that he's heard that sentence before. "Waste of a boy, of an Alpha." But I didn't think so, despite everything he's done to more—or not done, it had been for his pack and he was looking out for them. It was what was right. I may not know everything that happened with his family and the pack but I was going to find out soon. Before hell broke loose and that girl's promises were held true.

***

Jordan didn't come home that night and knew not to worry. He was angry at me for no reason and I wasn't about to sulk about something out of my control. I put on silky sleep gown, grabbed a bowl of cereal, and went into the living room to watch some television. I told Max that I just needed to be alone and he understood.

Waiting for heat to hit was an impatient battle especially when there weren't any signs that it was coming. I literally had to wait for it and hope for the best.

I got up to go put my bowl of cereal into the kitchen sink but stopped when the front door opened.

Ironically when Jordan stepped over the threshold that's when it seemed to activate. The burning didn't even spread—it just happened all at once. I couldn't even brace myself.

"Korali stop." His command went ignored. It was out of my control. I stood directly in front of him but a few feet away. He scanned my body in the burgundy nightie didn't go unnoticed. He groaned. "Did you do this on purpose?" He accused and I looked at him through angry eyes, although my body was still turned on.

"If I was smart, I wouldn't want to touch you with a 10-foot pole, especially the way you've been treating me. No, I didn't do this for you. I thought you weren't going to come home again, so I treated myself to being comfortable."

"Why?" His glared turned icy. "So that you could have your alone time with Max?"

I laughed at him. Like hysterically. "Are you serious?" He couldn't be. "Max is your best friend. He's my friend. I told him not to come here today because I wanted to be alone."

Right now there was only the burning but because we were near each other it wasn't excruciating pain. "You know jealousy at a relationship that's platonic when you and I could have more, is not your best emotion Jordan. I'll go deal with the heat myself, because dealing with you right now, it ten times more annoying."

The last thing caused him to snap his wolf painfully shifting his body in front of my eyes. So I ran. Which was bad on my part since he had a love hate for the chase. I wasn't necessarily scared but ƒ His growl rumbled the house and I dashed into his room closing the door on him. I knew it would give me time to climb the stairs so that's why I picked his room. Being a huge wolf and climbing artfully built stairs wouldn't be easy.

I could hear the clicks of his nails that were extended from his paws hitting the floor and his constant beating of the door. When I stopped hearing his nails and the door nob turned I was afraid but oddly aroused. My breathing lifted my chest up and down at a rapid rate and the burn was weirdly starting to feel good.

His eyes were there two separate color and I noticed them look down towards the necklace. I clutched it and made eye contract with him again. He stalked closer to the bed I was lying on with a primal look on his face. We were no longer solider and newlywed. We were predator and prey.

I don't know if I had the look of "Mark me." On my face but I didn't have to ask his wolf before he grabbed me and his sharp canines sliced into the virgin skin of my neck.

I screamed in agony my fingers biting into his skin through his t-shirt. He held me close in his embrace and held himself in my skin for longer than I thought this would be. That's when it started to feel good. The amount of pleasure elicited a moan from me and my nails that were now imprinted in his body slid down in their position. When I felt a little of my energy drain from me he let go licking my wound clean. He pressed a kiss to my new mark keeping his lips there. The room was silent of any noises except our heavy breaths.

When he finally rose up I could see my fresh blood dripped from his mouth down his chin. Accomplishing his goal Jordan's wolf let him gain control again and when he did the horrified look on his face was enough to make me regret what was just done. My intentions were to get away from him and deal with it myself. How was I to know that he was going to go this far.

"What the did you do?" He growled jumping as far away from me as possible against the wall across his bedroom.

"I didn't do—"

"LEAVE." He roared causing me to quickly scurry across his room and out the door heading straight to my bedroom.

So I cried. The knock on my door startled me but I heard someone else going up the stairs to probably talk to Jordan.

"Just came to see if you were okay." Cailo stated looking at me then my neck that a little had dry blood around it.

"You really believe that he could hurt me, don't you?" It was sad to think that even his friends thought he was capable of it.

He hesitated before replying, "I don't think he could hurt your physically anymore. But you two have been at odds."

"I want with all my heart to believe that he has some good in him left. Does he?" I was starting to question it too. I didn't want to believe that what he thought about himself was true. Everyone else did, and I could see even Cailo did. I don't know about Max because of his crazy amount of optimism but literally his whole pack thought that he wasn't going to get a mate because of his whole cryptic past.

"Do you want to go?"

"What?"

"Jordan just mind-linked me. Do you want to go home?"

I was irritated by this but at least the heat was gone and I stopped yearning with lust though. So I replied realistically.

"What good will it do now?" I sighed. I got up grabbing a towel and going to my drawers for some clothes.

"We're close friends right?" Cailo suddenly asked and my head swiveled to him quickly.

"Of course we are." I replied seriously.

"Okay, well that means I can say this. Korali the amount of hickies on your neck look like you had a fight with a leech, or a vacuum. Then your mark has a very vampiric styling, Jordan has great bite-man-ship."

Well that actually made me laugh and I felt a bit better. Glad he could make a little light of it.

"But no seriously, you have an insane amount of hickies on your upper chest."

***

Since I was basically on lockdown, I had Cailo run to the store to get me Asters. The pretty purple hued flowers were laid on French graves as to mean the wish of things to have gone a different way. I potted a few on the living room table and I even placed one at Jordan's door.

It was a few days after the marking incident and Jordan refused to be around me. Yet I could hear him shuffling around. Any time we were caught in the same place despite the humming in my neck he would do his best to disappear. If anything I deserved an apology.

He spent most of his time outside the house but at night, I would hear his nightmares. He'd wake up yelling and there was nothing I could do about it.

We needed to talk about what happened. It wasn't my fault completely. He wanted to do it too or it wouldn't have happened.

Rejection still could happen at this point because having consummated the mating. But we'd still harbor feelings for each other because I'm marked—we'd just be able to have our distance and we can like other people. But Jordan refused to reject me straight out.

I could hear his screams and constant turning right now. Everything in me wanted to comfort him, to hold him and tell him that everything was going to be alright and that it was the past or just nightmares. But I'm already on thin ice because of the marking, it would only make matters worse to see him in a state that he'd call his low point.

Every time he'd wake up from a nightmare he'd just turn and go back to sleep. I knew because a new one would start back up. He was yelling "No. I'll be better. Just not the chair legs this time." Or a variation of those words with different objects. I wanted to cry, but I've been doing so much of that, that I restrained myself. There were unshed tears barely being kept bay at the lining of my eye, but I wanted to be strong for him.

When his yelling stopped, I sighed with relief hoping that he finally got into a sleep that wouldn't cause night-terrors. That's when I heard someone outside my door and a shadow looming by it. I could now sense that it was Jordan. Before the marking I could just tell when he was in the area, now I could pinpoint it.

"Jordan?" I whispered pulling my covers closer to my face, seeing the shadow open my door and move closer. I could see his face clearer when he walked up to the bottom of my bed.

His eyes were rimmed red and he was shirtless. He looked restless and it was out of his character. I noticed his fists were clenching and unclenching and he was slightly swaying on his feet.

"Come." I got up quickly rushing to my dressers to grab clothes. I didn't know what he was taking about but if he showed at my room at 3 am then it must be important.

"What are you doing?"

"Putting on more clothes. I don't have time to have you yell at me."

"You wont need them." He grabbed my wrist and tugged me out of the room. He started to pull me up the stairs and I hesitated but complied in the end. When we made it to his bedroom, I paused. If he planned to mate me then I wasn't ready! I wasn't landscaped or even remotely mentally prepared.

"I can hear your heartbeat. Chill out. I just, I just need some sleep." He whispered the last part desperate.

He stared at me and I thought about it for a second. I could be evil. I could pull the same thing he does to me, to him. But I didn't. I wasn't damaged or abused and he was mentally fucked. What I had thought to be common daddy issues were actually mommy issues which seemed to be worst.

"Jordan you really hurt me and I'm not talking about our relationship problems." If I was going to do this, I was going to need sincerity from him.

"My intentions are never to hurt you. I'm sorry if they always do." He whispered it as if we were two children confessing secrets about our home life underneath a pillow fort.

I crawled into the bed and sat there waiting for his reaction. He breathed out and walked to his side and got in laying stiffly. I rolled my eyes, got down into the covers and turned on my side scooting closer to Jordan. I wrapped my arm around his torso and laid my head on his chest. I felt his body stiffen for a while then he slowly started to relax and I could hear his even breaths.

This is what both or bodies needed. The tension needed to be released, to be accepted. His body made mine hum comfortably and after 10 minutes of my wolf howling in delight of being this near her mate I drifted off to sleep.

I awoke to Max running through the door yelling. "Korali is missing! She's not in her room—" His frantic eyes rested on us and a blinding smile lit up his face. Jordan groggily opened his eyes sort of disoriented from the sudden noise. I sat up slightly squinting from being woken up out of my sleep. I was half leaning up onto Jordan's upper chest our legs wrapped in each other's. His arm was wrapped around my waist and he had slobber down his chin. I laughed.

"Oh, sorry. Didn't know." Max shot me a wink before closing the door. I expected to be kicked out, pushed away or something. But Jordan truly had to be exhausted because he pulled me closer and drifted back sleep. But before he drifted I heard him murmur, "Thank you Korali." I looked towards the window to see the sun was out but not blinding, and to see something on the windowsill that shocked me.

The Aster flower.

How do you feel about Jordan keeping the flower? The marking? Jordan making Korali sleep with him in the bed? The 14 year old girl showing up? Who is she and why did she come? Jordan's reasoning for not being with Korali? Valid or invalid reason? Fav quote from this story so far? COMMENT VOTE AND PLEASE SHARE!