(CHAPTER TEN :
ROCK BOTTOM)

✧࿐ ཾ✧

GIVEN ADELINA BLACKWELL'S POWERS were dormant, that meant I had to call in a favour with Davina Claire — who was resistant upon hearing she'd be aiding Klaus in the process. Whilst he threatened the teenager, I did damage control and agreed to temporarily take her away from the New Orleans drama once this was all over. Whether that meant we went on a road trip out of state or flew to Paris for the weekend, I promised her we'd spend time together since she didn't have many friends in the city. It didn't take long for Davina to perform the locator spell after that, sending Klaus and I to hunt down the most reckless of the Mikaelson clan in the old Lafayette Cemetery.

Grudgingly, I manoeuvred my body through yet another identical row of tombstones, dragging my feet behind me. It felt like we'd been walking for hours and there was no sign of Kol anywhere. "You know, I thought your brother had better taste than this. If I went on a psychotic rampage, I would've at least chosen somewhere like Hawaii." I mentioned conversationally. "It makes it much more pleasant for people trying to stop you." I added, kicking a lone stone on the gravel pavement.

In spite of his millennium of experience, Klaus Mikaelson had a low tolerance for nearly everything in life. "I think I'll join him if I'm forced to listen to you for any longer." He mumbled, flashing his gold werewolf eyes at me in warning.

"Woah, Wolfy. Down boy." I chastised, the hybrid's luminous glare nearly blinding me in the process.

Despite reaching a détente in our relationship, I still prided myself on being able to get on the man's nerves. Even with my boyfriend possibly leaving me for another girl and being consumed by a supernatural darkness, I was glad some things never changed — namely Klaus Mikaelson. However, I couldn't ignore there had been a notable shift since we became allies. Most of his threats lacked plausibility and I was struggling to hate him half as much as I used to since he opened up to me. If Kol hadn't informed me that his brother had found himself a therapist called Camille O'Connell, I would never have believed Klaus was capable of holding such an honest, genuine conversation with me.

"We don't have time for your sarcastic commentary." Klaus snapped, the vein in his neck pulsing prominently. "I feel like I'm babysitting an impetulant child instead of saving my brother from someone who wants him dead. Perhaps he was here and your loud, obnoxious voice scared him away." He suggested, a little too smug with himself. "I've vividly imagined your death in forty-seven different ways in this past hour . . . Continue to provoke me and Kol will have to become a necrophiliac." Like clockwork, he threatened me like he had being the entire time at ten minutes intervals. On previous occasions, I kept quiet because I knew he wouldn't kill me now, not when I was the only one who could save Kol. At the same time, I wasn't going to be his punching bag whilst he internally sulked about how he was a pretty terrible brother when it came down to it.

Narrowing my eyes at his unwavering bravado, I rested a hand on my hip. "It's funny how Kol's only your brother when it's convenient for you." I spat, refusing to let him gaslight me like that — his words were a clear way to pin the blame on me in case we ended up being too late. "You want the upper hand, but I'm not falling for your tricks. I won't bend over backwards because I'm meant to pity that your brother's life is on the line. You're forgetting that I know all too well how Kol was excluded from the family until you needed his connections. You didn't like that he couldn't be controlled like Elijah and Rebekah, so you pushed him out of the vow of Always and Forever. Oh wait, he was never part of it at all." Contempt leaked into my analysis of his blatant manipulation tactics. It was low of him to act like I was the one who didn't care about Kol, which was why such a strong response was evoked.

Unfazed, Klaus pursed his lips. "You're not in a position to be running your mouth. Whilst you've been gallivanting around the city with my mother, I was the one who was left to help him mourn you!" As he jabbed a finger into my chest, I found myself stumbling back a couple of paces from the force of the action.

"I—Is that why you told Esther I was trying to get my original body back?" Tentatively, I probed him for answers. "Did you think I was taking Kol away from you again? You had Kol whilst I was gone, but my return was a threat to that. You knew Kol being in New Orleans was circumstantial and he would leave if I asked." I accused, my voice hardening like concrete as I figured it all out. "Maybe this is your fault, it's your petty revenge fantasies that have screwed all of us ov—" With each passing second, my volume was growing louder and louder until Klaus jumped in.

"It wasn't me, Lottie." He denied. For some reason, I believed him too — he said it was such an unfamiliar candour and vehemence that I found myself faltering. If it wasn't him, then that implied it was Davina that exposed our true intentions to Esther and that was a bitter pill for me to swallow. "And all we're doing right now is wasting time. You can scream at me all you want after we fix Kol." Throughout his entire speech, his stare burrowed into my soul until the hybrid glanced away with a fixed motivation. For a minute, I swore I saw a flicker of Elijah in him. "New Orleans isn't like Mystic Falls. You won't always win and who's good and bad isn't always black and white." Whilst he sounded reasonable on a surface level, there was an underlying aggression to it all. He was being condescending.

I wrapped my arms around my body — Adelina's body was cold, something I hadn't felt in a long time. "Trust me, I know that, it's more like . . . if I don't joke about it, then it's real, Klaus." I confessed, the acerbic edge to my tone fizzling out as I decided to return his earlier honesty. "Kol's the only person I've ever loved, the only person I know how to love and the thought of losing him tears me apart. I didn't die for him, I died because I couldn't live without him. I don't know if I'll be able to watch him disappear into the darkness — I can take it from him, but how long will it take until we have the means to do that?" In that moment, I wondered if it was possible for a person to explode from the irrational intensity of emotions. "We came back together and that was meant to count for something. I died twice, I was compelled to forget about him, I've been in relationships with other people, but I still ended up with him. Time and time again, we work out. What if this is the one time it doesn't work out?" Overwhelmed and partially sleep deprived, I dropped to my knees and buried my face in my hands. Klaus Mikaelson couldn't see me cry — I'd never hear the end of it if he noticed my puffy face or how my shirt was being drenched in salty tears.

For a long time, Klaus was mute — so long that I suspected he'd walked away. "I said you were a fighter. Prove me right because I don't like to be wrong." He ordered, offering me his hand. In response, I shot him an incredulous look. "We're not enemies. Not when the evil is bigger than us." The Original clarified, the confidence in his statement startling me.

Blinking up at the man, I stood up without his aid. "No, I —" In stopping myself, my mouth ran dry because I didn't know how to explain my embarrassing breakdown. "I'm insolent and unhelpful, right? I can just find himself myself. Go home." I dismissed him, unprepared to address what happened.

Klaus didn't move. "He'll kill you."

"Go home, Klaus." I repeated, firmer than before. "Go!" I exclaimed, angling myself away from so he wouldn't see if I started bawling again. Part of me questioned if I was broken, it wasn't normal to cry so much.

Finally, Klaus raised his hands in mock surrender. His calm disposition remained solid, an air of arrogance surrounding the man as he took slow, careful strides towards the cemetery exit. Maybe he'd expected to be called after, but I truly believed I could do this on my own and I was too ashamed to proceed in a team. In the back of my mind, I knew I should have followed after him, but I couldn't. I'd only prove him wrong if I did.

I wasn't a fighter, I was a lover.

✧࿐ ཾ✧

Determination bubbled in my bones as I stormed through the cemetery in search of Kol. However, that ambition quickly transformed into an uncomfortable tingling sensation. I took off my jacket and discarded it on the pavement without a second thought, the tingling was turning into burning. On my collarbone, my R shaped scar — curtesy of Esther Mikaelson — sizzled. There was a faint glow from it, a glow that grew brighter as I got closer to Kol. Eventually, the magical mark guided me towards a clearing in the middle of the cemetery.

Esther, Finn, Kol and Rosalie stood in a huddle, awaiting my arrival. Each one of them held a distinctive look — Esther was smug, casting obtrusive glances at the interlocked hands of her son and his revived fiancé whilst Finn was indifferent and placid, per usual. Finn — still possessing the body of a local warlock — was conscious that his brother's loyalty was built on the basis of his mother's well constructed plan and wouldn't be long-term. Otherwise, he might have been jealous about how much attention his younger brother was getting from their mother. Speaking of which, I think seeing him was what startled me the most. With his chest puffed out, Kol stood with his chin tilted upwards, a malicious glint serving as the only light in his eyes. Staring into his eyes, I was unnerved to see nothing inside — the darkness stretched on forever. They were cold and black and it was like I was falling down a well with no bottom. Rosalie had vacant expression before she caught my gaze and leaned into whisper something into Kol's ear sensually. I pried my eyes away from the couple.

Clearing her throat, Esther attracted my attention. "I heard that you seek an audience with my son." The woman declared. "Is this true?" Despite it being phrased as a question, I could tell it was merely a gesture of politeness on her behalf. She already knew what I came for and if Esther Mikaelson had been even the smallest percent uncertain about my intentions, she wouldn't have allowed herself to be found. Similar to Klaus, she was tactical, meaning she wanted me here for some reason.

A knot formed in my stomach, not that I could comprehend where this sudden fear rooted from. Ironically — a couple of years ago — I used to be so adamant on being someone who didn't saving because I was my own hero . . . Yet, under the stony stare of a hag, I was crumbling. Only when I was alone and without a support system did I realise that it wasn't a sin to need help sometimes. But, it was far too late by the time I realised this, so I was left to fake a brave face.

"Oh, I don't know. You tell me." I answered at last, deciding it was best to be vague. Even if I seemed bold and fearless on the outside, the knot in my stomach tangled and tightened until I was nearly folding over in pain. "Or, be more specific at least. Are we talking about Klaus, Elijah, Finn, Kol . . .? Wow, for someone who hates your children so much, you sure have a lot of them. Mikael must have been good in the sack — and I imagine it was an actual sack in your days — because I didn't even have to include all your kids in my list." I antagonised the woman, daring to press her patience until it shattered. If being sardonic meant that I felt a little more like the person I used to be, then I didn't care about the backlash I'd receive. Being Adelina for so long meant that I was sucked into her lifestyle, so it started to feel like I was losing myself to her. I liked being Lottie though and I was left clinging onto anything that grounded me to her.

"Rather bold. You always have been though." Esther was talented with her words, she spoke in such a way that I didn't know if I was meant to be flattered or offended. "It was what made me see your potential to begin with and why I rescued you from The Other Side. If you had co-operated back then, I would have given you everything your heart desired — glory, power, Kol." With trembling hands, she called upon her magic. By the time I registered what she was doing, I was already hunched over and gulping for breath — it felt like I had been sucker punched in the stomach. "Now, all that belongs to Rosalie and you are merely the means to an end. No amount of absurd, vulgar or intrusive remarks will save you." She cackled loudly and proceeded to murmur a series of spells under her breath.

Howling, the wind picked up in intensity and swirled around my body until I was suspended in the air. Over my head, the blue sky faded into a dull grey whilst thunder rumbled through the open air. It was a perfect storm. I blocked out all the noise around me, instead focusing on the aches that were erupting all over my body. Wincing, it was small mercy when I was dropped onto the hard earth beneath me. Unable to move, I splayed my arms out and accepted that it felt like I was being stabbed with ten thousand tiny needles. No doubt my supposedly inevitable death would be drawn out. However, I didn't want to provide her with the satisfaction of knowing how defeated I was, so I tried to muffle my indignant whimpers by biting down on my lip. I repressed it for as long as possible, but a sharp scream leaped out of my throat seconds later.

"I relish in that sound." Esther snarled, beckoning her younger son over to her. "You know what you must do." Her cat-like eyes remained trained on me as she handed Kol a wooden stake. Perhaps she liked the symmetry of him staking me after I'd protected from that same fate.

"Does he?" I called out, it was a throaty sound because I was still weak, but it captured their attention nonetheless. Since I was too drained to move, I lay flat on the floor and blankly stared up at the cloudy sky in an effort to focus on something other than the excruciating pain engulfing my body "You don't want to kill me, Kol. Esther and Rosalie have messed with your mind, but this isn't you. Instead, find a safe place. Think about the first time we met, the first time we danced, the first we kissed. Focus on the memories." I encouraged, recalling how I found solace in my own memories after I died as a vampire. They were what kept me from drifting in the astral plane and I prayed they'd also give Kol something to hold onto — a tiny piece of his old self that would prevent him from disappearing into the darkness.

Esther sneered. "It won't work, child." She insisted.

I ignored her and continued addressing Kol. "If it's alright, I'm going to go back with you, back to Portland. Do you remember how we first met on that little cobblestone street? Like the idiot I am, I tripped over and you caught me." I reminisced, closing my eyes in hopes it would play back through my mind like a feature film. "Darling, I think you just fell for me. That was the first thing you ever said to me and . . . it was when I started to believe in love at first sight. I don't know if I ever told you that. I was always a hopeless romantic, but it was such a cliché that I thought I'd never find true love. I wasn't special, not like the girls I read about in my books." I confessed, a lone tear slipping down my cheek. Kol made me believe I was special and I was deserving of the whirlwind romances people wrote books about. It was strange to think how oblivious I was back then, how I was blissfully unaware that one chance encounter was going to change my life and wrench the world as I knew it out of orbit.

Kol stalled, lingering over my fragile body with a sense conflict filling his features. "I remember." His eyebrows pulled together as if he was contemplating what he should do with the wooden stake that was poised over my chest.

Outraged, Rosalie scampered over to her ex-fiancé — per the command of the elder witch that had resurrected her. "Kol, you love me now." She pleaded with him, placing a hand on his cheek and drawing him in closer. "Memories are fickle, they best belong in the past. You should focus on the future and how . . . Charlotte Hatton must die for us to have a future. And that's what you want." The angel asserted, kissing him like her life depended on it because it did.

Rolling out from under the two kissing figures that loomed over me, I wobbled to my feet. No physical pain was any match for the heartbreak I felt, so I scraped my broken fragments off the floor and built myself back up, piece by piece. Suddenly, I regretted abandoning my jacket on the sidewalk because it was filled with weapons. Without it, the only weapon I had was me and I didn't know if I had anything left to fight with. I had no weapons, no friends, no hope. Never mind being a fighter, I wasn't even a lover anymore — I had no one to love.

"I love you, Rosie." Kol told her, serving as the final nail in the coffin I wish I stayed in a hundred years ago.

"I—I never expected you to break me." I stammered out, the world spinning around me at high speed. "You broke my neck, my hopes and my heart, but I never once expected you to break me." I stepped closer to him, but I knew we couldn't have a proper goodbye — not when he was looking at me like I was another notch in his bedpost. Like we were never in love.

Sharing a glance with the blonde to his left, I noted the twinkle of lust in his eyes. Perhaps Klaus was wrong and Kol had loved Rosalie of his own accord after all. "Expectations." He scoffed. "That was your first mistake."

Whilst I should've wished the worst for him, for the weight of our unspoken break up to leave him as crushed as I was, I couldn't find it in me. I hated that I couldn't stop loving him and I hated that I didn't have the option to turn it all of anymore, I had to cope with the pain . . . Maybe not. As lightning flashed through the sky, I was struck an idea. "I've always wanted you to be happy and I know the only way you'll be happy is if I'm dead." I averred, finding myself to be formal and emotionally distant for a change. Maybe I could shut it off, it would just mean shutting it all off — Adelina's heart, brain and lungs. "Do it! Do it now! Because I want to die, Kol. It hurts too much and I want it to stop. Living this lie every day isn't worth it without you. I have nothing left anymore and waking up feels like a chore. What's the point in being alive if I don't feel like I'm living?" I was so sure this what I wanted that there was an uncommon calmness to my hysteria. Of course I sounded insane, but I accepted that this was my breaking point and I had nothing else to give to the world. Kol Mikaelson was the one thing that anchored me to my life as Charlotte Hatton, but he wasn't mine anymore. In an unfamiliar body, in an unfamiliar city . . . I had to ask, who was Charlotte Hatton then? I'd come undone.

Utilising this opportunity, Kol lunged forward with the stake. I didn't flinch, instead I smiled because the fire inside me had been extinguished. There was certain beauty to giving in — all the tension left my muscles and I was left waiting for death. And waiting. And waiting. When it didn't come, I was caught off guard. Since the world had already been spinning around me, I barely comprehended that a seething Klaus Mikaelson had sped me away — accompanied by a wooden stake lodged in his torso.

"This is why I don't do alliances." Yanking the stake out of his body, Klaus grumbled in annoyance.

Dazed, I shrunk into myself as it dawned on me that I must have hit rock bottom to have begged for death. It was humiliating. "I feel honoured then. Thank you very much for waiting in the wings to save the damsel, Klaus." After performing a mock bow, I turned on my heels and fled.

Death. Oh, I wonder . . .

✧࿐ ཾ✧

A.N: This was a really intense chapter for me to even write and I'm not sure how I feel about it. Although, I am loving the development of the Klaus/Lottie friendship — even if she tried to push him away again in this chapter. I don't think we've ever seen Lottie at such a low point, but the only way from here is up, right? We're going to have a couple of stabilising chapters where she finds herself again. In possessing Adelina, I think she became too codependent on Kol because he was a reminder that she isn't actually Adelina Blackwell. The only way to break codependency is to tear the two apart, I suppose. There's still going to be really tough times ahead, but after this chapter is going to mark the start of the healing process for Lottie.

Question of the chapter is an important one, do you want a fourth book? It's been the plan since Memories to have four books, but I know I've been inactive, so people might not be interested. Even if you don't comment much, please let me know because I'm planning the ending for this book and it will be impacted by if I do another book.