... ( How I found out that Something Like Depression Exists & What It Looks Like When She Had It ) :

My Friend Helen & I are both 21 now... - & it happened to her when we were teens. Then I first heard about Depression & saw what it really is when I observed her mood change as it was starting. 

... Then I also found out that Depression May Not Always Have a Visible 'Reason'... - cause that's just how it was in Helen's Case. 

Helen & I were classmates & friends. We were both 17 & attending a good high school when 'something strange started happening to her'. & it Really had 'No Significant Reason'! :/ 

She was a very good student, had a Full & Happy Family, She Had Many Friends, She wasn't Bullied by Anyone & No Tragedy Happened In Her Life so I Really Don't Know What May Have Caused Her Depression... But she Had Depression, that's for Sure! 

It all started with Sleeping Problems. One day when we met at school in the morning I asked her: 'What's wrong, Helen? - You look tired'. She answered 'Because I couldn't sleep all night'. I understood, & thought that she was just nervous before the test we were about to have that day. She's always been a perfectionist & wanted to do everything the best she could & we were two best students in our class, so I thought that she was just not sleeping because she was studying & she would sleep well next night - but she didn't. 

The next day she still looked tired, so I asked her 'Did you sleep last night?'. She answered 'No, I couldn't sleep again'. She had 'no reasons to be so worried that it would disturb her to sleep at night' this time so I asked 'Did some noise disturb you?'( because that was the most logical explanation that came into my mind ). She answered 'No, there was no noise'. So I kept asking 'So why couldn't you sleep?'. She answered 'I don't know' - so I slowly started to be worried about her. She asked me 'What I do to sleep better?' so I told her that 'I usually listen to some music before I go to sleep, it calms me down'. She answered 'Thanks, I will try that - maybe it will help me too' - but it didn't help. 

Nor did opening her window to let some fresh air in or drinking some milk, or going for a walk, or taking a relaxing bath right before going to sleep I advised her during the next 2 days. My Friend Couldn't Sleep at Night & we Had No Idea Why because we haven't heard about depression before that! - They didn't teach us about it at school & it was not so 'fashionable' to talk about it on tv yet, so we didn't know what was going on with her! :/ 

And what's Surprising - Only I Noticed that 'She Looked Tired' & 'Something was Not Right With Her! :/' . When we met at school after her 5th Sleepless Night, I asked some other girls from our class 'Have you noticed that Helen looks tired this week?' - & they All Answered 'No, we haven't noticed anything'. I was Really Shocked with What They Said! :/ ... - I didn't comment it, but I thought 'OMG! - Are They Blind Or What? :/ ... - She hasn't slept 5 Nights & Looks Like a ZOMBIE, so how is that possible that only I See that 'She Looks More Tired Than Usual Today?! O_O '. They were her friends Too - so How Couldn't they See It? :/ 

But I have always been a very careful observer & found out that most people 'don't notice things I pay attention to' quite early. And some time later when depression started to be a 'fashionable topic' I also heard that when some young people show first symptoms of depression - Even Their Own Families Don't Notice It! :/ ... - So I can't blame our classmates that They didn't. 

I asked Helen 'Do your parents know about your sleeping problems?' - cause then we thought it were 'just sleeping problems' not something worse. She answered 'Yes, I told them, my mother said that if I'm not able to sleep again - she will give me a sleeping pill'. That calmed me down for some time because I thought that when my friend takes one sleeping pill & manages to sleep a whole night well At Last - her night/day rhytm will come back & all her problems will end... But it wasn't that easy...

... I called her on Saturday after her Whole School Week of Not Sleeping & said 'Good morning, Helen, I hope that you slept well after taking that sleeping pill'... I thought that I would drop my mobile when I heard her answer 'It didn't work...!'. Then I got seriously worried about her & asked 'What are you talking about?!... - Your sleeping pill Didn't Work?! :/' . She answered 'No, it unfortunately didn't, so had another sleepless night ( 6th one in a row ) & You Have No Idea How Tired I Am! :( ... - I can Hardly Speak!'. She yawned then so I advised her 'So maybe you'll come back to your bed & try to have a nap now? :) - It's Saturday, so you have time'. She answered 'Good idea, I will try... - Talk to you later, Lily' & hung up. 

She called me next on Saturday so I got happy because I thought that she felt better. I asked her 'Hi, Helen, how do you feel today? :)'. She answered 'Awful... I couldn't sleep again. Neither during the day nor at night, I was trying but I just can't sleep!'. I asked her 'So you had a Whole Week ( 7 nights ) Without Sleeping?! :/' She answered 'Yes, I asked my mother if I could take two sleeping pills if one didn't work when I couldn't sleep at night, but she didn't let me, she said it would be too much for me'. I answered 'OMG! :/ - so what are you going to do now? :/  There must be something that will help you sleep peacefully again'. She said 'Maybe there is... but I don't know what, & my parents say that if I am not able to sleep again - they will go to a doctor with me to get some other sleeping pills that would work for me'. I answered 'I hope they will find them, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you'. She answered 'Thanks, Lily, talk to you tomorrow at school - if I manage to get up'. I answered 'I'm sure you'll manage! :) - You are Strong!' & hung up. 

On Monday Helen looked even More Tired Then Before!... - & she almost lost her consciousness during Maths lesson cause she was so tired. It looked as if she was falling asleep so two boys started making fun of her cause 'Such a Good Student Fell Asleep During the Lesson'. I looked at them & instantly made them quiet by telling them 'Don't Laugh at her! - She is Tired! You have No Idea How Bad She Feels! - She Hasn't Slept for the Whole Week!'. That washed those 'pranster smiles' off their faces & they started to look sorry. I had to defend my friend, right?... - & when I said it, our Maths Teacher, a young & friendly woman with curly hair asked her 'Helen, is that true?'. My friend answered 'Yes... - & I... didn't do my homework this time... - I'm really sorry,... I couldn't concentrate! :( '. Some other boy said 'SHE Didn't Do Her Homework?! :) - I can't Believe It!' ( because it never happened before ). I looked at him like a Basilisk, so he should really be grateful that I don't have such powers - cause he would be petrified! Some other girls looked at him the same way, we didn't want Anyone to make fun of Helen. She Really was Unwell - & that Wasn't Funny!... - So he understood his mistake & told us 'Ok, ok,... - I shut up'. And our teacher told Helen 'Don't worry about your homework now, you're overtired & need some rest. I'll call your parents & ask them to take you home'. Helen answered 'Thank you' & her mother soon arrived & took her home in the middle of the school day... - That also 'hasn't happened before' because Helen never skipped any classes unless she was really ill - & now we could all see that she Was! :( 

She wasn't at school the next day so I called her as soon as I came back home. She told me that She Couldn't Sleep Another Night & now she started to feel really weak & everything hurts her. I told her 'For Heaven's Sake! O_O ... - I don't know if I would Survive 9 Sleepless Nights in a Row!'. Her answer terrified me. She said 'And I am not sure if I want to live any longer...' . I got really scared then. I asked her 'What are You Talking About?! O_O'. She answered 'I am just Tired... So Tired!... - I just want this Nightmare to End!'. I started to cry & told her 'It will soon end, You will see! - you will get help, you told me that your parents will go to the doctor with you to cure your insomnia - when are you going?'. She answered 'Next week, if I don't die out of exhaustion first. I'm sorry, Lily, I'm not strong enough to talk any longer now'. She hung up & I was still crying. The Only thing I knew was 'My Friend Is Suffering & I don't know How To Help Her! :'( '... but I still hoped she would be ok... ( & Now She IS! :) ... - But before she got the right diagnosis, medicine & felt better, there was a long way & a Few Months of Fight with Her Depression... I will continue to describe in the next chapter ) ...

( But She Was STRONG ENOUGH TO WIN THIS FIGHT! :D ... - & Since then I call her 'SuperGirl'! 😏 )