With Silas pressed against me, Renit leaning against my shield and panting through his mouth, I can't move. I can't drop the shield in fear of what might be on the other side. The heat from Bren's fire is still scorching the rock barricaded over our heads, but the shouting has subsided. It occurs to me that maybe, just maybe, Bren created a physical barrier of fire in case someone got past their watch.

Silas's crying has subsided. His breathing is still shaken and his body is an unsteady presence against my own, but he's calmed. On the other hand, Renit is staring at his brother and trying to find some semblance of normalcy amongst the face he has recognized for over three hundred years. How helpless it must feel to live that long with one version of a person, only to see them at their worst at the hands of an enemy.

I crane my neck to look at him, at the blood now caked against the bottom half of his face and the dark brown, near black strands of his hair sticking to his forehead. In the dimmest of lights, one color can't be diminished from the next. It's not until Renit stands in the sun that the reddish hues of his hair come to light and all that time of me believing the strands were black are completely gone.

I've never thought much into it, but my mind is grappling for a hold right now. I always referred to his hair as black, thought of it as black, but it's the darkest shade of brown one can muster without reaching black.

"What do we do?" He asks, disrupting me from my thoughts. I'm glad for it.

Silas mumbles something against my neck; even his breath doesn't hold the warmth it once did. I take his face in my hands, albeit gently, and pull away to sit on my heels. His eyes are puffed, his cheeks stricken with tears, and he appears utterly exhausted. Not a pinch of the original crown prince is there. Not the slightest light of his smile.

When he looks at me, there's only sorrow. "What did you say?" My voice holds the softness I would use if I'm speaking to a scared child.

"Avalie," Silas repeats. The name cracks something open in his heart and his bottom lip quivers. His hand, covered in scars and dried blood, comes up to wipe his nose. "Where's Avalie?"

I shake my head, looking back to Renit for help. He shrugs.

"Silas, we don't know where Avalie is." I tuck back a strand of his waved, chestnut hair. Silas swallows hard, and his breath shudders through him. "You don't remember what happened to her?"

It takes all the effort he has, but he shakes his head to tell me his answer. Not expressed through words, the weight of the answer is enough to make me sick. He doesn't know where Avalie is. Either she's dead, in the king's army, the dungeons...the opportunities are endless. If the girl was smart, she escaped the castle shortly after Silas's transformation, whenever that was.

Knowing the care they had for each other, she stuck around to see if there was anything to be done about Silas's condition. He wouldn't recognize her from the inside, anyway. She'd merely be another servant that he couldn't care less about.

"I don't remember their faces," Silas croaks.

"Who?" He seems to soften around my hands pressing against the sides of his face. Comfort. He longs for it now. "What faces?"

Silas forces himself to look at his lap, rather than meet my stare when he speaks. "The faces of all the people I killed. I can see their blood, the shade of it, but I can't remember their faces." Another sob cracks loose and his shoulders shake underneath my hands. I rub my palms up and down his arms, attempting to soothe, and look back to Renit.

He won't look at me, and he won't look at his brother, either. He blames himself. Just as quickly as Silas's sorrow takes over again, something clicks in his mind.

"I need to find Avalie." When he attempts to stand, I press hard against his shoulders to keep him there. The crown prince doesn't fight, doesn't attempt to shove out of my reach, and gives me a questioning look as if allowing me to explain before he pummels me for disrespecting his wishes.

"We didn't have the chance to retrieve her," I inform. "And it'd be too dangerous to go back. We have men out in those woods and there's a fire on the other side of this shield. We don't move until it's clear. Even then..." I halt my voice and straighten out the ties on his tunic. "Even then, I don't know if we can go back to get Avalie."

Silas immediately shakes his head and rips that chestnut strand free from where I'd tucked it behind his ear. "I have to get her back. I can't—can't leave her in there; if she's in there." He lifts his arm in one direction, believing it to be the direction of the castle, but it's completely wrong. He's pointing towards the coast after losing his sense of direction.

"Silas, I'm sorry, but we can't. It was a large effort to get you out and we can't risk losing lives here. That includes yours." 

It occurs to me that Renit isn't aware of who Avalie is. The royals never cared for their servants, didn't bother to learn their names, so he couldn't point her out in a crowd. The fact that we're having this conversation and he's not butting in proves Renit is attempting to pick up the pieces for himself before someone else does it for him.

I sit myself in front of Silas, comfortably on the ground, and stare up into his face. I'm surprised to find him staring right back, but the silence screams 'help me' rather than 'end me'. At least we can be glad for that.

Taking Silas's shaking hand in mine and tracing circles over the back of it, I'm able to calm him slightly. His breathing steadies over the span of a few minutes, and the silence appears to soothe the unsettling in his heart. Everything is coming back, every memory, everything he did for his father, and by this silence, I'm giving him the chance to adjust. These are merely his first few moments, and by already worrying about Avalie, he's not helping matters.

But in my first few moments back, I had to discover where Renit was. I had to hold him, had to kiss him, had to tell him how sorry I was for everything. And I didn't realize it then, but I'm lucky he was there and all I had to do was sprint across the cliff sides to get to him. That felt like the longest journey, yet Silas's will be more difficult to achieve.

"Silas, is there anything you can tell us?" I inquire once his breathing is settled. "Is there anything you can tell us about the king's plans or how big his army has grown?"

For the first time since coming back, Silas's expression changes from utter depression to rage. Hate. I nearly tug my hand away but he squeezes tight and stares directly into my eyes. The dull grey turns into a flame and very carefully, I stare back into what might be my ending.

"Hallie did this," he reveals coldly. "She sided with the king to protect herself on the throne. She revealed to him my involvement with Celestine and Dalis and getting them to Lona. Hallie did this to protect herself."

"That's impossible," Renit mumbles from behind me. I don't have to look to know his expression, how his scrunched brows reveal the quick calculations taking place in his mind. "Hallie would never do such a thing; her alliance with you is too strong."

For the first time, Silas looks at his brother. "An alliance with a king is stronger."

I've never seen Renit back down against his brother's stare. But he does now, ducking his head down in shame to avoid peering at those grey eyes. Nothing, and everything, is his fault, and Renit is desperately trying to make up for everything in the matter of a few minutes. Our time is fleeting, the flame around the shield is still hot. Bren isn't back yet.

Silas goes on. "She helped him with everything. Furthering his progress with the army, making new potions, training the soldiers—everything. She became his new third hand, only without the potion."

"She did this because of your relationship with Avalie?" I ask.

He winces and nods. Her name is like a battering ram on his heart. "And because I threatened her when she spoke to Avalie like she was beneath her. After that, I believe she started a plan to protect her royal standard. Hallie wants a throne and a crown. If she couldn't get that with me, she was willing to find the next best option."

"That bitch." Renit drags a hand down his face. "All right, that leaves her and the king in the castle with his army. Now that Silas is out, can't we take down the castle and end this now?"

Silas gently pushes me aside so he can come face to face with his brother. There's nothing between them, and I don't know who to protect from one intimidating stare in the other direction. They're both giving it, and neither is backing down. They inspect each other like it's the first time and they're wild animals instead of witches.

"We can't do that," Silas says simply.

Renit's eyes dart left and right. "Why not?"

"If Avalie is in there, I want to get her out. She doesn't deserve to die; she did nothing wrong."

"We can't let this go on any longer, brother." I'm taken back by the sudden softness in Renit's face. He's giving his brother a look of sympathy, one I've received so many times from others, but never from him. Renit will love me, and he'll love me more than anyone else, but I'll never reach the level he allows himself to climb for Silas. There's nothing stronger than blood. "This has to end; too many people have died already."

"I don't care!" Silas shouts. Both of us jump. "I want Avalie, and I thank all of you for risking this, but I want her. That castle does not fall until she is out or dead. No other alternatives."

Renit's nostrils flare but before he can say anything, I place my hand on Silas's knee. "Okay," I promise. "We won't further our plan to take down the castle if we don't have Avalie."

"Roux, we can't—"

"I said, we do nothing until Avalie is out." Renit's hand is frozen in midair, his mouth open to speak his next word after I cut him off, but his attempt goes limp and he hangs his shoulders. Something about my voice is authoritative enough for him to comply.

"Fine, we get Avalie out first."

Silas takes my hand within his once more. When I fell from that mountain, Renit couldn't go without my touch once he revived me. This is a similar moment. Silas is ensuring I'm actually here, this isn't a dream, and he's not underneath his father's control anymore. My hand wrapped in his is as much reassurance as we can give without outright telling him that it's all right. He's safe, and he's with us now.

"She's a witch of decease," he ventures. "That makes her valuable."

Renit raises his brows in surprise. "A witch of decease? Who the hell is she?"

With no amusement on his features and none on his tongue, Silas speaks. "Remember the servant to my tower? Wide eyes, innocent-looking?"

The banished prince's eyes dart to me for a moment before he slowly says, "...Yeah."

"That's Avalie, she's a witch of decease, not of ice like she claimed to be. All these years, she's tended to my chambers, and I never figured it out."

Renit huffs a laugh. "If she wanted to, she could've killed us all."

Silas smiles down at the floor of the woods before him, his thumb brushing over the back of my hand. He squeezes tight, once again for reassurance. It amazes me that he can still smile in the first place, after everything that has happened and everything his father forced him to do. Then again, he doesn't recall everything. If he doesn't remember where Avalie is, there's a chance he doesn't remember Celestine's death.

"Yes, she could've," Silas says. "But she didn't."

An involuntary smile creeps onto my face. Seeing him here, smiling—it's what we've been waiting for. All this time and we've led ourselves to this, getting Silas back. I worried it wouldn't work, and I worried his sanity would be too far gone to save, but he's here. Despite everything he did and everything he has yet to face, Silas seems somewhat like himself.

Avalie is the one that kept him grounded for so long. Underneath the king's control, it's likely Silas never realized it but if she healed pieces of him before he was under, it's possible she's the reason there's something left behind. There's more behind their relationship than I originally thought.

A hard knock sounds on the outside of my shield and my power lurches to recognize who it is. It recognizes flame, and I don't bother asking Renit what the right decision is before I drop the shield. Falling into dust and loose rock around us, I squint and brace against the first attack, but the only people standing there are those I've considered my allies.

Bren, Tesha, and Binx. They're alive, but they're covered in blood. At the sight of Silas, alive and not looking to tear their hearts from their chest, they release a loose breath in unison.

"We don't have much time," Bren says, waving us up with a steady hand. "There's a chance the king has more men coming. We must depart and head for Arego."

Silas immediately shakes his head and grips my hand tighter. Everyone else can go, but he'll hold me hostage. "I don't leave without Avalie," he finalizes.

I peel his fingers away from my own and snatch my hand away. He appears hurt that I'd do such a thing, so to reestablish that trust, I place my palm on his knee. 

"Silas, we have to go back to Arego, but I promise that the next time we come here, it'll be to rid the king of his power and save Avalie," I urge. I don't bother mentioning there might be nothing left to save. That possibility is in the back of his mind already.

"I can't lose her." Just like that, he threatens to become a crying mess. I spot the beginning of his tears, the reddening of his eyes and the quiver of his lip. "I can't lose her. Not Avalie."

Silas tucks into himself and rests his head against my chest. His knees are constricted against his abdomen. I press my hand against the side of his head, looking to the group around me. They're just as shocked as I am.

I look to them for answers but quickly realize I'm the only one that can do this. All of it. I'm the only one here that knows what it's like to lose all hope under the king's control.