I was useless at work. Nothing could distract me from Billy. I floated through the day in a daze, offering little more than a murmur at any decision. None of it mattered anymore. If I didn't decide, someone else would, and it would be fine. If I suddenly vanished, they'd fill my role with little turmoil in just a few days. I had spent my life thinking that working for a career would satisfy me, but as the sunset outside my office window, that delusion disappeared, just like Billy feared I would. My focus on independence and career allowed me to figure myself out, but now that I knew what made me happy, it felt unattainable and suffocating. I continued to remind myself that Billy and I loved each other; just stick around. Tim's plan was so easy, but it felt so hard.

"Hey, you okay?" Luke tentatively spoke from my door.

"Huh?" I said as I tried to shake the cobwebs from my brain and focus.

"You okay? You've been distracted all day."

"Oh, yeah, no, it's fine. I'm fine." I shoved my laptop in my bag before lifting my gaze to Luke. "Can you give me a ride home? I left my car with Billy so he could run some errands."

"Yeah, of course."

"Thanks," I faintly smiled.

We rode in silence to my condo.

"Hey, Lil," Luke said as I pulled myself out of the car. "I'm going to miss you."

"I'll be back a couple of times a month, and I'm just a video call away," I reminded.

"Mmhmm." He nodded. "Merry Christmas, in case you don't make it into the office tomorrow."

"Merry Christmas." I tried to sound cheery, but it fell sickly and false.

My funk started to dissipate as I neared my condo. I pushed open the front door to find Billy on the couch with a guitar perched on his lap as he reached to the floor to scribble on a notepad.

"Hey, you. " His voice was filled with surprise as he rose from the couch, immediately casting other thoughts and his guitar aside. "I was going to pick you up. Did you walk here at night?"

"Luke gave me a ride; it's on his way. Where did the guitar come from?"

"Yeah, so I realized not bringing one was a mistake yesterday and had Tim overnight it. I mean, if we're going to spend time here every month, I should have a guitar around."

"Yes, you should, and a piano," I agreed as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Yeah?" A smile spread across his face, and his voice cracked with pleased excitement.

"Yeah, you know I love to watch you play."

"What do you think about a stand-up piano along that wall?" He asked as he nodded to the wall behind me.

"I think this is your place too, and you can make any adjustments you want." I smiled.

"You're in a good mood," he noted before dipping his lips to mine.

"Mmhmm, funny; I was in a terrible mood all day, but when I got home and saw you... all better."

"Well, I'm happy to be of service." The pleasure filled him.

"How was my dad?"

"Good. I feel better, to be honest." He let out a closed shrug that let me know not to prod, but he added, "do you want to go tomorrow?"

"No, that's not where my dad is to me." I brushed off as I plopped down on the couch. I bounced as Billy landed next to me, causing me to pop up and fall primarily on him, which seemed to have been his plan.

"Yeah, where is he to you?"

"Everywhere. He's in songs, and books, and moments."

"Moments?" Curiosity heightened his focus.

"Yeah, like when I was walking into the office this morning, and the sun was rising over the buildings, a breeze kicked up and fluttered some birds. For some reason, I just felt my dad was there at that moment. You know? Like he was there with me."

Billy's lips slightly parted as though he were going to say something, but no words came.

"What?" I laughed. "Do you think I'm crazy?"

"No, I think you're amazing." His voice was thick with sincerity. "That's a beautiful way to look at something tragic."

"Let's talk about the tour." I smiled as I rested my head on his shoulder.

"The tour; okay, what do you want to talk about the tour?"

"Will Timmy be on our bus?"

"No, we'll have our own bus."

"Oh, that's probably for the best." I didn't mask the disappointment.

"You want to jam Tim and probably Tess on the same bus as us? Even now, while you two are at each other's throats?"

"No, probably not, but it'd have been fun to relive that summer a little." I didn't bother to elaborate on my call with Tim this morning.

"Fun for who? You two always ganged up on me."

"That's not true," I protested.

Billy tipped my face to his with one of his thick fingers.

"Okay, maybe it's a little true." I smiled. "Anyway, I'm excited. I can't wait to see you play live!"

"Really? That's something I never thought I'd hear you say."

"I know, but things change; superfan... remember?"

"Mmhmm," Billy agreed with a smile. "Well, you won't have to wait too long. I have a show booked next week in Duluth. I always play the arena on New Year's Eve."

"Really? Does the whole fam come?"

"They sure do," Billy smiled his jack-o-lantern smile.

"Make sure you invite Sarah," I absently added.

"Sarah," he paused as though the name were one he didn't recall. "Yeah, I should invite her."

"She's part of the whole family," I offered.

I let a finger slip into one of his dimples and let all the emotions fill me. The warm love Billy always shared with me, the fear of it being ripped away again, the happiness of being a part of a family, and the frustration of all the bumps that kept trying to derail everything. I almost didn't notice Billy still gazing over me with his smile still pricking his dimples.

"My momma gave them to me," he whispered.

"Yeah, she did."