Connect 18: Controlled

Ellin's POV

Nagkulong ako sa rest room. Umiyak ako ng umiyak. I hugged my knees and cried. Umiiyak ako para sa Bangtan. I know, I can feel it. Hindi nila gusto ang mga nangyayari. And I can't stop. Hindi ako susuko sa campaign nang ganun-ganun lang. I need to win them back, I need to win Coachella back.

I felt determined. I wiped my tears and stood up but as I was about to go out of the rest room, tears started to fall again. I breathe in and breathe out, tried to stay calm and hold on to the door knob.

Just thinking about Rap Mon's blonde hair turning black makes me sad. I sighed.

Dumiretcho ako sa room at nakinig nalang sa lectures about wiring and system back up. Hindi ko na pinansin. Wala akong interes sa ganyan. I think everyone is not interested anyway. Natapos din ang afternoon period at naghahanda na akong umuwi when Chowa and Wowa sat down beside me.

"Are you okay, Ellin?" Chowa asked with worried eyes.

"Yes. I'm fine. Bakit mo natanong?" I tried my best to smile.

"You look like you're not. Tsaka napapansin namin na hindi ka na masyadong active sa class. Paano yung ranking mo?" Wowa said.

"Ranking?" I laughed. "It doesn't matter anymore. Not unless it's for music, if it's not then I don't care if I'll go down the rankings." tumayo ako at lumabas ng room. Sakto, palabas lang din ng room ang Bangtan Boys.

Humawak ako sa backpack ko at lumapit sa kanila. I walked with them at halatang nagulat silang pito sa bigla kong pagsulpot.

"Hi guys! Saan kayo pupunta? Sama!" masaya kong pagbati.

But none of them replied to me. Diretcho lang silang nakatingin. Nilagpasan lang nila ako at parang hindi ako nag-eexist. I tried to fight the tears and ran to catch up with them pero nagulat ako ng hawakan ni JHope ang braso ko.

"We're going home, Ellin. You don't have to come. Ingat ka pag-uwi mo." he said in a serious tone. Bumitaw siya at tumakbo papunta sa kanila habang naiwan ako doon na nakatayo hanggang sa hindi ko na sila matanaw.

Umuwi ako sa apartment na mabigat ang loob at agad dumiretcho sa kwarto. I wanted to cry pero feeling ko dehydrated na ako. Naiinis ako sa school admin na iyon! He's such an ass! Sabi niya pag-iisipan niya ang mga sinabi ko! Paasa! Kainis!

Nagbihis ako at kumain kasabay ni Manang Ason. Sinabi niya rin na nagpaalam daw si V na doon muna sa bahay nila titira. Nakakawalang gana tuloy. Oy hindi ako malungkot na wala na si V sa apartment ah! Nakakawalang gana lang kasi nabanggit na naman niya yung Bangtan— well V is part of Bangtan, right? Anong pake ko dun sa lalaking yun? Tss.

After kong maghugas ng kinainan ko ay bumalik na ako sa taas. Saglit akong napatingin sa pinto ng kwarto ni V. Hindi iyon nakalock. Hindi ko alam kung anong pumasok sa isip ko at binuksan ko iyon.

It feels nostalgic. I can imagine them inside V's room. That's the first time I got up close with them. Kookie trying to make projects, Jimin dancing to 'Touch My Body' until he can't feel his legs anymore, Suga is taking as many selfies as possible, Jin fixing the air conditioning unit with his Hello Kitty fan, Rap Mon trying to listen to a few songs and write down lyrics... it brings a lot of memories.

Naglakad ako papunta sa magulong study table ni V. Kahit kelan, hindi na talaga siya naging organized. I saw a box, nagtaka naman ako na makitang package pala iyon.

"Sevanne Lorenzo III? Wow. Ang sosyal ng pangalan niya." binuksan ko yung box at nakita ko ang punit punit na papel. Kinalkal ko iyon at may nakitang shiny na papel.

"Isang picture lang, nakapackage pa? Wow." kinuha ko ang picture at biglang nanginig ang buong katawan ko.

A picture of Bangtan Boys, and me... with our faces crossed out. I dropped the photo and saw a note from a crumpled paper.

"Follow the rules and go home or else..."

I was shaking and threw the note back inside the box. Who'd send this to V? Kaya ba— kaya ba sila naging ganoon? Kaya biglang sumunod? Pero bakit-- bakit kailangan nilang gawin yun? Ang daming tanong na biglang pumasok sa isip ko.

Tears fall from my eyes as I kept on asking why this is happening. I stared at the box for quite some time at may napansin akong kakaibang papel. I reached in to read what it says.

"Connect the dream..." napataas ang kilay ko nung mabasa ko iyon. Binalik ko ang papel sa loob ng box at huminga ng malalim. Aalis na sana ako sa kwarto when I felt something weird... I blinked a couple of times and...

"Sevanne, you are not allowed to make mistakes again. I am counting on you at hindi ko na papayagan pa ang hindi mo pag-attend sa mga gatherings ng kumpanya sa susunod."

My eyes widen upon realizing another awkward situation that I'm into. I AM SEVANNE. I AM V. Nagkatotoo ang wish ko.

"Sevanne?"

Tumingin ako sa lugar kung nasaan ako. Pangmayamang table, pangmayaman na knife at fork ang hawak ko. Chandelier. Sobrang daming chandelier. Gintong pader? Ginto! Gold!

"Sevanne?!" nagulat ako nang may tumawag sa atensyon ko. Ay, ni Sevanne pala.

"Ah— yes?" naiilang kong tanong sa isang medyo may edad nang lalaki na nasa tapat ko. The table looks grand and the food served is more like a feast. Kaming dalawa lang ang nakain, for Pete's sake!

"You seemed distracted. It's impossible for you to continue the training if you can't even focus. I already got rid of your stupid dance group pero hindi mo pa rin magawang ituon ang atensyon mo sa mga bagay na mas mahalaga." he said, from the looks of this man, I think he's V's dad. Sa hugis palang nang mukha eh! Feeling ko nga sa kanya namana ni V ang duck lips niya!

"S-Sorry Dad."

"And that girl from your school..." biglang tumibok ang puso ko nang sobrang bilis. "Hindi ko na binawi ang scholarship niya. I don't even know why you all bothered to comply with Coachella Tech para sa babaeng iyon. Is she someone special?" natatawa pa siyang uminom ng wine.

Saglit akong natulala. Hindi ako pwedeng magkamali sa rinig ko. Pero ayaw siyang tanggapin ng isip ko. Nasasaktan ako. Gusto kong umiyak.

Dahil ba saken? Dahil saken kaya pumayag ang Bangtan? Kaya pumayag si V?

Pero bakit? I did not ask for them to do this!

"Sevanne, I think you had a long day. Bukas nalang natin ituloy ang pag-uusap." his Father stood up and walked out. Naiwan ako sa lamesa, nakakuyom ang mga kamay at hindi pa rin makapaniwala.

Kinabukasan, I had to act like a robot. I have to act like V. Binati ako ng sandamakmak na maids nung pababa ako ng hagdan. Hindi pa rin talaga ako makapaniwala na ganito kayaman si V. Akala ko nasa Hotel kami nagdidinner kagabi. I have to ask some maids around kung saan ba ang kwarto ko. One of them led me to their rooms instead! Kokonyatan ko na sana eh! Echosera, may balak pang reypin si V.

"Have a great day, son." sabi nung Dad ni V saken as he pats my back.

His body structure is buff. He's a big guy indeed. Kung paano siya manamit, alam mo kaagad kung anong estado niya sa buhay. Gwapo yung Dad niya, eh yung Mom niya kaya? Hindi ko pa nakikita ang Mom niya. Is she even here?

"Master Sevanne, handa na po ang sasakyan." sabi nung isang maid.

"Ah. Sige. Salamat." agad akong lumabas at napanganga ako sa ganda ng sasakyan na nakaparada at nag-aantay saken. Hindi ko pinahalata na amaze na amaze na talaga ako pero grabe! Ang yaman pala talaga ni V! Hindi ko magets kung bakit nagtyatiyaga siya sa maliit na apartment.

Nang makarating ako sa school, I tried to compose myself. Mahirap pala itong ginagawa ng Bangtan Boys. Alam ko kung gaano kaharot ang mga iyon and to act like this is probably torture for them, especially for Jungkook and Jimin. Jimin probably is having a hard time, for sure!

Nakita kong nakatayo silang lahat sa parking space. Kumpleto sila, kasama si JHope. Nakakatuwa silang tignan.

Nang makababa ako nagulat ako nang bigla akong yakapin ni Jungkook. "V!" he said. Namiss ko tuloy ang pagiging malambing ni Kookie saken! T^T

"Tara na. Late na tayo." biglang hinila ni Rap Mon palayo saken si Jungkook at naglakad na. I can see him pout habang naglalakad papunta sa Acad Building.

I'm pretty sure, V will be here too, using my body of course. But I'm thankful that this soul exchange happened. Kung dati, I despise this and thought of it as a curse, now I'm glad. It made me understand Bangtan and V even more.

"Ellin!" narinig kong may sumigaw sa hallway habang naglalakad kami. And there he is.

I stopped and stared at him. Hinihingal pa siya, my body is not that equipped to run though. Nasa likuran niya sila Chowa at Wowa na pinipigilan siyang lumapit.

"V, let's go." narinig kong bulong ni Jin.

I looked away and nodded. "Yeah. Coming." nagpatuloy ako sa paglalakad papunta sa room namin.

Ang boring ng class na toh! Now that I'm here with Bangtan, I can tell how they hate being in this boring room. Pero nung tinitignan ko sila kahapon, I thought that they really chose to do this out of their own will. It makes me feel relieved, but at the same time I need to end this. Tutal, they did this for me, para hindi matanggal ang scholarship ko.

Nagulat ako nang may ipasa sakeng papel si Suga na nasa tabi ko. When I looked at him he just pointed the paper. Binuksan ko iyon habang nagsusulat yung instructor sa harapan.

"Do you want to talk to Ellin? We'll help you. - Rap Mon"

Tumingi  ako kay Rap Mon at ngumisi siya. Hindi ko maintindihan yung saya. Hindi ko na sila kailangang bawiin. They are still Bangtan. They are just controlled. Walang pagbabago. Now all I have to do is talk to V. I have to talk to him.

I grabbed a pen and wrote my reply to Rap Mon's note.

"Yes. Thank you Leader-nim."

V's POV

Paikot ikot ako gamit ang katawan ni Anya. I don't know why she's inside of my apartment room. Napatigil tuloy ako and smiled.

"Miss mo na ba ako, Anya?" I asked myself as I thought about it. Natawa nalang ako sa sarili ko. Tinignan ko ang buong kwarto ko at agad humiga sa kama ko.

Namiss ko toh! Paikot ikot pa ako sa kama. And then I stopped. Nakatitig lang ako sa kisame at nagbuntong hininga.

"I bet Anya's really mad at me right now. Siguro alam na niya. I hope she's okay." tumayo ako at lumabas ng kwarto ko. I went to Anya's room and lie down. Her scent is all over the place. And I can smell her hair. Pero kahit nasa katawan niya ako, hindi ko maramdaman ang presence niya. Yung pagsusungit niya, yung pagsesermon niya. Nakakamiss din pala.

Tumayo ako at humarap sa salamin. Her eyes are puffy. She cried a lot, I can tell.

"Sorry Anya. Sorry." sabi ko sa harap ng salamin.

Kinabukasan, maaga akong umalis ng apartment para pumasok. Based on what she told me yesterday, nagkatotoo ang wish niya sa kung sino mang may gawa nito sa amin. We did exchange bodies again... at sakto pa noong nagdidinner kami ni Dad. And once she finds out about our reason... that she was our reason of following Coachella Tech, baka bawiin niya iyon para lang hindi na kami madamay pa. Matalino si Anya sa academics pero bopols yun magdesisyon. Uunahin niya muna kami bago ang sarili niya.

And I have to stop her.

"Ellin! Wag ka nang mangulit sa Bangtan Boys oh! Baka mapatawag ka na naman sa school admin!" the twins kept on saying while I storm in the Acad Building.

"I know what I'm doing."

"Ellin!" sigaw pa nila which made Bangtan stopped. Lumingon si Anya, using my body of course. Halatang nagulat siya pero agad din itong nakabawi.

Hindi ko alam pero nawala ang pag-aalala ko nang makita ko ang mga mata niya. It's as if she's saying that she will not do anything stupid and to trust her.

Lumapit si Jin at bumulong sa kanya. I saw her nod at sumunod sa kanila. I sighed with relief. Nakita ko rin ang kambal na hinihingal na nakasunod sa akin.

"Ellin naman eh!" inis na sabi ni Chowa.

"Sorry!" ngisi ko. Agad din kaming bumalik sa rooms namin at bored na bored akong nakinig sa lectures.

After nang second period, I was about to go to the canteen dahil hindi ako nagbreakfast. I can feel Anya's stomach grumbling. Patay gutom talaga ang babaeng yun eh!

Nasa tapat ako ng fire exit nang biglang may humila saken at tinakpan ang bibig ko. I was going to fight back when I saw Suga, Jin, Jimin, Rap Mon and Jungkook in front of me.

"Shhh..." they all said.

When I looked behind to see who's covering my mouth, I saw J Hope smiling.

What are they planning? These knuckleheads better make sure na hindi kami mahuhuli or else—

Pinaakyat nila ako sa taas ng fire exit, papunta sa pinaka-cliche na lugar. Rooftop ng school. Cliche noh?

I saw V, I mean, Anya... standing there... using my body. Naglakad ako palapit sa kanya but even before I reached her, niyakap na niya ako. Hindi ko alam pero biglang naging blurred ang paningin ko and just like that I can smell her sweet scent. I can feel her soft hair from the side of my face. Yakap ko na talaga si Anya. I was inside my body again. Upon realizing it, mas lalo kong hinigpitan ang yakap sa kanya, squeezing her tiny body with my arms. I can feel her hands on my back. She clutches my shirt and I can hear her crying.

"Sorry..." she said. “Sorry if I made you do this for me." she wept as she buried her face on my chest.

"I can't let my Dad ruin your stupid dream, Anya. I won't let him. We won't let him do that to you."

She shooked her head. "Pero ang kapalit nun, you have to give up URDB. I can't let you!"

I cupped her face and smiled. "We did that for you. And Bangtan never regret anything. Jungkook once said that you are already part of the group so if doing this will keep your scholarship, then we will let ourselves be controlled."

Umiyak lang siya sa harap ko. I laughed a bit realizing how ugly she looks like. I wiped her tears away and chuckled.

"You look ugly as ever, Anya."

I saw her pout. "Shut up, V." she said while sniffing.

Pinagdikit ko ang noo namin while still cupping her soft cheeks. I grinned while she rolled her eyes. "Don't do anything stupid. Okay? Stop your stupid campaign, okay?" I said.

"Oo na! Tss." umirap pa siya and placed her hands on my head. "I miss your orange hair." she whispered.

"Hey, that reminds me. Why are you inside my room last night? Ikaw ah. Siguro inaamoy mo yung beddings ko tsaka mga unan ko noh?" I mocked her.

"H-Hindi ah! Ewww! Yuck!" tinulak niya ako palayo pero hinawakan ko yung kamay niya and pulled her in for a hug.

Tahimik lang siya while I was hugging her. She did not fight back either. Naaamoy ko yung bango ng buhok ni Anya dahil mahangin sa rooftop.

"V?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you... and sorry." she whispered and hugged me back.

I snuggled to her even more and hugged her tight. "Anya... I—"

"V." nagulat kami parehas ni Anya nang biglang bumukas ang pinto ng rooftop at pumasok si JHope.

I saw Anya blushed and pushed me away. "J-J Hope!" she said, embarrassed.

He smiled and ran towards me. "We have to go back. Parating na yung instructor sa third period." he informed me.

"Okay." humarap ako kay Anya na sobrang namumula pa rin matapos kaming madatnan ni JHope na ganun. Ang arte eh. Akala mo chicks. "Aalis na ako. Remember, do not get yourself involve with something stupid. Behave." I said.

Humarap siya samin ni JHope and pouted. "Oo na! Tss. I will not!" mataray niyang sagot.

Ginulo ko yung bangs niya bago kami tumakbo palabas ng rooftop. Habang natakbo I can see JHope smiling while looking at me.

"What are you smiling at?"

"Nothing. Naistorbo ko yata kayo?"

I rolled my eyes. "Wala yun. Nothing important."

"Ahhh... akala ko nakaistorbo ako."

Hindi ko na siya pinansin. I'm glad he appeared before I even say it. I was stupid enough to even have that thought of saying it to that stupid girl. Muntik ko nang makalimutan na si J Hope ang gusto niya... at hindi ako.

* * * *

Well, you guys better start saving. A BTS concert is worth it, kaya if I were you I'd save money for it! Lalo na't magsisimula na naman ang concert tours nila, it's possible na makasama ulit ang PH. We were one hell of a crowd noong TRB and I'm sure BTS will be glad to visit again so ARMYs better start IPONING!

And Belated Happy Birthday sa third wheel ng Team VEllin na si JHOPE! Jusque. Sa mga Team HopEllin dyan, hello! Good health and more crazy antics to you Hoseok! Hahahah.

Oh well, where do broken hearts go nga ba, V? Joke. ♥