❝intense.❞

-mason hewitt, teen wolf

♛

I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW how Bellamy is still carrying me up to this point. Even as we make our way to the command center with my directions and no help from Dante whatsoever, his arms haven't started shaking yet.

Clarke turns the next corner hesitantly, gun at the ready and shoulders stiff. Dante follows behind her almost boredly.

"I told you," he sighs, "there's no one here."

"Sorry if we don't take your word for it," Bellamy retorts sarcastically.

"Why aren't you with your people on Level Five?" Clarke questions.

"After what I've done, they can be free," he responds. "I can't. Deliverance comes at a cost. I bear it so they don't have to."

Clarke gives him a thoughtful glance. I shift my eyes toward Monty as he picks his way through the key card slot with a heavy feeling in my chest.

"It wasn't Cage," Bellamy realizes. "It was your idea to make the deal with the Grounders."

Dante opens his mouth to speak, but closes it and nods instead. I feel something like a glass shard wedge itself in my stomach.

"Bell," I whisper, "put me down."

"No," he declines shortly.

"I promise I'll sit down in there," I tell him. "Just let me stand."

He sighs reluctantly before carefully setting me down on my feet. I grit my teeth at the flare of pain in my hip, steadying myself using his arm. Discomfort prevents me from moving around too much.

"We're in," Monty announces. "Got them."

Immediately, Bellamy pushes the door open and raises his handgun. Even though I'm still clinging onto him, Clarke takes my other arm and wraps it around her shoulders. She gives me a wobbling, closed-lipped grin of encouragement as we step inside the empty room.

I can almost see Cage with the video camera in his hand. Emerson's shadow seems to be lurking around the computers. I suddenly feel the roughness of his hands on my back, holding me down and preventing my body from thrashing. A sharp inhale comes through my mouth that I try to disguise as a cough. Clarke shoots me a worried look.

"It's clear," Bellamy says. "He was telling the truth."

"Let's get the monitors up," Clarke suggests, holding the door open for Monty. He immediately starts dashing for one of the computers at the center of the dark room.

Clarke and Bellamy guide me toward the nearest chair and all but force me to sit down in it. The material is scratchy on my bare legs; I've forgotten what I'm wearing, but I don't feel embarrassed like I had before.

Both of them hover over me like flies. Despite the fact I continuously tell them I'm fine, they keep flinching at every wince or single movement I make. It's as if they expect me to drop dead at any given moment.

Dante doesn't even try to run. It's strange how calm and compliant he's being, really. There hasn't been a spark of resistance in him thus far, though it may be because he knows he's outnumbered. His presence still sets me on edge anyway.

I glance up toward the series of monitors on the wall when a few dings catch my attention. The screens blink to life, displaying the various camera angles around the mountain. A few graphs and stats are mixed in as well.

"The command center's live," Monty informs us.

One monitor in particular catches my eye. It's in the top right corner, labeled Dorm on the bottom in white text. I see a slightly grainy video of two doctors hovering over a girl. I feel a punch to my gut when I realize half a second later that it's Raven, and they're drilling her leg.

"Oh, my God," Clarke gasps. My hand subconsciously ghosts over my hip again like I'm feeling the pain all over again.

"Raven," I mutter weakly, wanting to look anywhere else but finding myself unable to tear my eyes away at the same time. Clarke steps closer as the camera pans toward the wall. The new angle reveals our people chained with their arms above their heads- Abby and Kane.

"Mom?" she whispers in disbelief.

Bellamy furiously grabs one of the radios nearby and holds it in front of an impassive Dante. "Tell them to stop. Now!"

"I won't do that," he responds firmly.

I feel rage swarm in me and propel myself to my feet. Limping slightly, I walk the few steps toward him, narrowing my eyes to slits. "What are you playing at, huh? You helped us with the containment breech and now you're just going to let us die?"

Dante's guarded eyes drift to me. He does not reply.

I groan in frustration and plop down on the closest chair. Clarke mutters something unintelligible before turning around and plucking the radio from Bellamy's hand. She presses the button on the side.

"Carl Emerson, Mount Weather security detail, come in."

"Who is this?" his voice asks immediately.

"You know who it is," she replies darkly. "Give the radio to the president."

On the screen, Emerson's figure retreats further into a crowd of people until I can't pick him out anymore.

"They're moving," Bellamy comments.

Monty begins typing on the giant keyboard. "Not a problem. I'll bring it on the main monitor."

The rest of us turn toward the larger one that covers the entire face of the wall to our left. The image of Cage Wallace appears, pacing apprehensively in an empty corridor with the radio to his mouth.

"This is President Wallace," he greets. I twist my mouth into a scowl just by the sound of his voice, antipathy rising inside of me.

"I have your father," Clarke informs him in a clearly threatening tone. "If you don't let my people go, I'll kill him."

My heart increases its beating. Part of me knows that this is pretty much the only way to possibly get Cage to listen to us, but I also don't want to kill anyone I don't absolutely have to.

"How do I know you have him?"

Clarke holds the radio out to Dante. Knowing he has no choice but to comply, he says into the microphone, "Stay the course, Cage."

The president's face appears more panicked on the monitor, eyes going wide. "You won't do it."

"You don't know me very well," Clarke shoots back venomously. It reminds me of what I had thought after the bone marrow extraction. She turns around once he doesn't respond and walks toward the opposite side of the room. "This ends now. Release my people."

"I can't do that," Cage answers almost reluctantly.

"It would mean the end of our people, Clarke," Dante explains with his eyebrows raised. Despite the fact he's staring death in the face, he still manages to keep his calm disposition.

Clarke shakes her head before turning around and raising her handgun, loading it with a click. Bellamy backpedals out of the way. I sit up a little straighter upon feeling a spike in my heartrate.

"Clarke, we need him," Bellamy convinces her.

"And I need his son to believe me," she breathes. Then, bringing the radio to her mouth, continues, "Don't make me do this."

On the monitor, Cage glances toward the people I presume are to his right. He wets his lips and stares up into the lense of the camera. No words come out of his mouth at first, so he huffs and tries again. "Dad, I'll take care of our people."

The heartbreak in his voice is almost enough to make me pity him- almost.

Dante's eyes are widened now upon realizing that not even his son will save him. He faces the gun and shakes his head fearfully. "None of has a choice here, Clarke."

"I didn't want this," she says remorsefully.

"Neither did I."

Just after those words escape his lips, Clarke fires the gun. The bullet hits home in Dante's collarbone, pooling red blood onto his blue button-down. His choked groans make my stomach twist into knots. Then, after one last breath, he crumples to the ground and lies still. A puddle of blood begins forming on the tile beneath him.

Clarke lowers the gun with tears in her eyes. Then, after blinking them away, she steps closer to the monitor and speaks into the radio again. "Listen to me very carefully. I will not stop until my people are free. If you don't let them go, I will irradiate Level Five. Cage, listen to me. I don't want anyone else to die. Stop the drilling and we can talk. There must be a way to get us all out of this."

I move to a closer spot, heavily favoring my good side and trying my hardest not to look at Dante's body on the ground. My eyes catch sight of Emerson leaving the smaller video frame with the walkie in hand.

"Great," I mumble dryly. "A surprise visit from Emerson."

"They deactivated our key cards," Bellamy says to Monty. "Can you do that to his?"

"That one's easy," he replies with a nod. I'm beyond grateful to have someone as smart as him around- without Monty, we'd be goners.

As Monty slides into the computer seat and begins typing away, Bellamy nods to Cage's figure exiting the screen and asks, "Where's he going?"

"Hopefully to jump off the mountain or something," I mutter darkly under my breath.

Our eyes follow the president as he disappears and reappears throughout different frames. My eyebrows pinch in confusion, watching how his body is tensed and hands balled into fists at his sides. A determined frown is etched onto his face.

"The dorm," Clarke realizes as he approaches a familiar set of double doors. I flicker my gaze up to that monitor to see him entering. With the wider view, more Sky People chained to the walls are visible. A painful lump lodges itself in my throat. "Monty, can you do it? Can you irradiate the level?"

"I can do it," he confirms.

"Wait a second, Clarke," Bellamy stops her. "We need to think about this. There are kids in there."

My eyes drift to the ground at the remembrance of Lovejoy's son. His gleeful smile flickers in my mind and the cruel hand of guilt starts to force its weight upon me.

"I know," she whispers, but does she really?

His voice gets harder, sharper, adding more despair. "And people who helped us."

"Well, then, please give me a better idea," Clarke begs with her face distraught. A crease is formed between her eyebrows, mouth pulled into a frown.

Bellamy, at a loss for an idea, faces the panel of monitors again. I swallow thickly as my mind whirls with possibilities. How can we stop the extractions without killing everyone else?

"What if one of us snuck in?" I offer. It's not a good plan, but anything sounds more appealing to me than wiping out everyone. "Or more than one? Through the vents, I mean."

"It's not quick enough," Clarke shuts the idea down sadly. "Thanks, though."

I purse my lips in disappointment and sigh. But then, it turns into a sharp gasp once I notice the doctors taking Raven off of the cot and forcing a struggling Abby onto it. My eyes dart to Clarke automatically to see her gaping.

"What have I done?" she murmurs to herself, voice cracking. I feel my heart ache; she's basically like my sister, Abby a second mother. I can't lose another parent.

As they start drilling and she opens her mouth in a scream, I look down and wipe away a tear that escapes my eye. My hands curl into fists that make my knuckles go white. With an enraged shout, I shoot to my feet and knock one of the computers to the floor. I knot my fingers in my hair and let out a sob. Being able to empathize with her pain makes the whole ordeal worse. It instills a war inside of me; one side wants to irradiate the guards while the other craves some goddamm peace.

"If we do this, there is no going back," Bellamy says harshly. I can tell just by his voice that this is the last thing he wants to do, but Clarke's right- we're pretty much out of options.

Clarke nods to Monty. "Figure it out."

The boy goes back to typing at the speed of light, eyes moving so fast I get dizzy just looking at him. Instead, I swallow down another sob that threatens to come out and back up to the wall closest to the door. It's all I can do not to slide down to the floor.

"Now what?" Bellamy questions.

Through blurry vision, I notice two teenagers scampering down a hallway toward a pair of guards. Just as they turn out of the camera's view, Octavia replaces them. I feel my jaw drop when she throws her sword like a tomahawk and impales one of the guards in the stomach. She slides into the other, knocking him to the ground. All of her movements flow together like some sort of dance as she yanks the sword from the man's gut and cuts another's open with it.

Damn.

"They gotta get out of there," Bellamy says anxiously, eyes on a monitor that displays an entire pack of guards heading their way.

I jump back and roll onto the ground when the door is hit with so much force that it juts out. Bellamy quickly pulls me onto my feet and away from it, placing his hands on my shoulders to steady me. I try to stop the hammering of my heart by exhaling slowly.

"He's here," Clarke states the obvious. One of the screens shows him kicking the door, his frustrated grunts sounding through it and into the command center.

"Jasper," Monty breathes, "they caught him."

I suck in a breath and swivel my head toward the dorm's camera. Sure enough, Jasper is being led into the room. His hands are already bound at the wrists. I watch dejectedly as the guards pull him toward an empty spot on the wall and begin to handcuff him.

"Oh, God." I point toward the Mess Hall's monitor, where Octavia and Maya are surrounded by guards and the commoners of Mount Weather. Bellamy releases his grip on my upper arms slowly. His exhale fans my bare shoulder.

Monty pauses and looks up at Clarke. She has an impatient edge in her voice when she demands, "Why are you stopping?"

"Because I did it," he responds. "All we have to do" - he points to a lever in front of him - "is pull this. Hatches and vents will open, and the scrubbers reverse, pulling in outside air."

My breath hitches. In the camera just outside, Emerson has brought a bag- probably filled with tools to fix the key card slot or break the door open. Our options are extremely limited. We have no choice, as hard as it is to admit to myself.

"He's gonna blow the door," Bellamy realizes as he takes his gun out in one fluid motion. He aims it past me, brow furrowed in concentration.

"Clarke, we're out of time," Monty says, voice edged with fear.

She puts her hand on the lever and hesitates. After taking one last lingering look at Emerson's figure, I place mine over hers. A slow breath comes out of my mouth in an attempt to steady it. I can see Maya and Octavia being forced to the ground, Abby closing her eyes as if accepting her fate.

"My sister. My responsibility," Bellamy whispers to himself.

Clarke's voice is edged with pain. "I have to save them."

"You won't be alone," I tell her encouragingly. She faces me with a grateful expression, eyes glassy.

Bellamy rests his own hand over both of ours, practically swallowing them whole. "Together."

The three of us share a look. Monty watches nervously from his seat, eyes glued to the lever. And, ever so slowly, we pull it downward.

At first, nothing seems to happen. I turn my gaze upward with my breath stuck in my lungs. Then, an alarm begins to blare and a yellow light flashes. Monty types a few commands to pull up an electronic map of the fans on the level. All of them are red.

I release my shaking hand from the lever and take a step back, watching in horror as red welts and blisters begin forming on the people's skin. Even Lee falls subject to the radiation. My mouth tastes sour as he sinks to the ground.

I cover my mouth to stifle the sob that comes out when I notice Jasper burst into the Mess Hall and take Maya from Octavia's arms. My face screws up in agony; I have to turn away. My breathing shudders when I inhale and squeeze my eyes shut.

"I--" I try to say after removing my hand from my mouth, but the words get stuck in my throat. Another shaking breath that rattles my chest. The weight settling in on my heart is heavier than I ever would have imagined it would be. I feel like Atlas- the man cursed with holding up the weight of the sky.

"Let's go get our people," Clarke says.

Almost immediately, I head toward the door and open it. Even just bursting into the corridor is like being set free from a cage. The weight, albeit still nearly unbearable, is a fraction lighter.

"Hey," Bellamy calls softly, then louder as I start running. "Stop! Fallon!"

He ultimately catches up to me and gently takes my arm. The action causes me to slow until I'm completely stopped, so he can loop one of my arms around his shoulders. The fact he's taller than me helps relieve more of the pressure on my hip.

The walk to Level Five is painful, but arriving there is worse. The sight of the unmoving bodies sitting at the tables makes me want to be sick. Every inch of their skin is covered in angry red blotches, and the air is smothered with death.

I can hardly force myself to walk toward where Jasper is. Once I do get there, my knees give out. Bellamy has to bend down and scoop me up before I can fall. The sight is something I know will be seared into my memory forever- Maya's unmoving figure, the welts, Jasper's expression of complete betrayal. The sobs come harder that time. Knowing we killed so many innocent people - people who helped us - is so agonizing that I want to scream.

"What did you do?" Jasper asks Clarke in a weak and trembling voice. Tears are streaming down his face at a rapid pace that evokes such pathos in me that I can't explain.

"We had no choice," she replies, tone brittle and breaking at the end.

"I was gonna kill Cage," he informs us. "If you'd given me one more minute, it would've been over."

"Jasper," Bellamy cuts in, "they never would've stopped."

"We have to go to the dorm," Clarke says heavily.

Bellamy nods somberly and starts carrying me toward it. Once we get inside, the first thing I see is Kane helping Abby onto her feet. My heart gives a leap in my chest.

"Mom," Clarke gasps and runs toward her, enveloping her in a hug as soon as she's standing. It makes me yearn for my own mother.

I watch the rest of our friends embrace each other with a heavy heart. As Bellamy carefully sets me on my feet and entwines our hands, I truly feel the aching loss of my parents for the first time in a long while.

And then Kane approaches us. I meet his eyes carefully, not knowing what he'll say. He surprises both of us by putting a hand on each of our shoulders. "You did good. Now let's get these people home."

You did good. So why does it feel like I've done the complete opposite?

--

I'm not allowed to walk back to Camp Jaha. Instead, Bellamy, Clarke, and Octavia carry me on a stretcher the entire way there. I protest more often than not, insisting I can at least walk for some portion of it, but they don't listen.

An entire crowd is awaiting our arrival when we approach. I notice Jackson at the very front; he calls for Abby and immediately darts toward where Kane is carrying her.

"Here is fine," I tell the Blake siblings, who are the ones currently carrying my stretcher. They share a look before setting it down slowly on the ground in sync. Gritting my teeth, I shift myself around and accept Octavia's hand as she helps me to my feet.

"Try not to walk too much," she tells me with a wry grin.

"You sound like Abby," I say. O rolls her eyes and lightly taps my shoulder. She then turns back toward camp and heads for where Lincoln is patiently waiting for her nearby.

I sigh and face the opposite direction to see Clarke hugging Monty just outside of the camp's walls. After they pull apart, he wraps his knitted cardigan more tightly around him and walks inside with his head hung low.

Bellamy gently takes hold of my elbow to help guide me toward Clarke. Her eyes are locked on Monty's retreating figure, a strangely undetectable expression on her face.

"I think we deserve a drink," Bell suggests after joining her side.

Clarke draws in a deep breath. "Have one for me."

I turn my head to the side and step around so I'm standing in front of both of them. My eyebrows pinch together. "Clarke?"

She wets her lips, shaking her head. I feel nerves begin to twist my stomach. A face like that is never followed by something positive.

"I'm not going in."

I hadn't been expecting that. Shock inflates me like a balloon, causing the air to leave my lungs. My eyes blink a few times just to make sure this is reality. Unfortunately, this isn't a dream.

"Clarke," Bellamy begins as he faces her, "if you need forgiveness, we'll give that to you. You're forgiven. Please, come inside."

I can hear the desperation in his tone as he repeats the exact same thing she had told him at the depot. It causes my throat to pinch, making it even harder to breathe.

"Take care of them for me," Clarke requests in a brittle tone.

"Hey," I tell her, "listen to me. What we did...we can overcome it. Together, okay?"

"Seeing their faces every day is just gonna remind me of what I did to get them here," she says more firmly than before, eyes filling with pain.

"What we did," Bellamy automatically corrects. "Fallon's right- you don't have to do this alone."

The moment in which Clarke glances toward camp seems to last forever. It's then that I can see every emotion whirling inside of her extremely clearly, and I can tell she's not listening to what Bellamy and I are saying. She has it engraved in her mind that this is her fault and her fault only.

She meets our eyes again before I can get in a word. "I bear it so they don't have to."

Bellamy shakes his head, eyes turning glassy and a crease between his eyebrows. "Where are you gonna go?"

"I don't know," she admits honestly.

"Clarke," is all I can say, chin starting to wobble. She wraps me in her arms tightly- an embrace that I return immediately and with as much passion as I can evoke. I want to remember this moment if she really is leaving us. My hands clench around her jacket as I rest my chin on her shoulder and draw in a deep breath. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she whispers thickly. I briefly bury my face in her shoulder to prevent a sob from escaping, but a tear falls anyway. When we pull back, her eyes are brimming. She reaches up as if to wipe my face but changes her mind and lowers it.

Bellamy still has a dejected expression full of disbelief when Clarke hugs him as well. A single tear rolls down his cheek.

"May we meet again," Clarke says to him.

He swallows thickly but doesn't reciprocate the phrase. The embrace lasts for a second longer before Clarke steps back and glances between the two of us. As her eyes drift to me, it takes every bit of my willpower not to break down. But as soon as she turns her back to me, my façade crumbles. The tears start rolling down my face while she walks down the path toward the woods. I had been wrong before; it's not a parent I'll be losing today- it's a sister.

Bellamy exhales hard through his mouth and nods. "May we meet again."

Watching Clarke grow smaller and smaller the further she retreats from camp feels like a bullet. There have been so many weights pulling me down for the past few weeks, but this is the heaviest one of all.

I'm drowning and the only person who could save me is submerged right beside me.

END OF PART TWO.

----

HEADS UP: PARTS THREE AND FOUR WILL TAKE PLACE IN ANOTHER BOOK, COMING VERY SOON!!

i really can't believe this is the end of conflate. it's been such a long journey for the past year and i'm so grateful for all of your support! i can't wait to continue fallon's adventures in book two!!

stay tuned for info!

-kristyn