The grand oak wood was surrounded

By suffocating malevolent mist

No man, woman, animal or beast

Dared venture out into the evil 'THIS'

An unaware goblin travelling north east

Walked obliviously into the 'THIS'

His little goblin legs wouldn't go quick

The evil mist he could not miss.

'THIS' enveloped the goblin

He began to sputter and choke

When out of the mist a vision did appear

A woman wearing a red and gold cloak.

There behind the feisty woman

Stood a huge and fierce looking tree

She threw a pouch full of red dust

Into the wood quite magically.

As quick as the dust flew

The 'THIS' retreated to its pit

The goblin meekly asked the woman

"Who are you, what have you done to it?"

"I am Princess Titanium"

"And this is my tree"

"I came to save you from the 'THIS'

"I kick ass everywhere, here and universally"

"My Opussian friends sent a distress call"

"I am here to rid the cursed Grand Wood"

"Me and my fearless titanium mammaries"

"Shall vanquish all things evil, all evil must fall"

The goblin could not hide his glee

He shouted to all his woody friends

He wanted to show off the princess

For all of the other goblins, he sends.

Soon other goblins, fairies and imps

Gather round Princess Titanium and the tree

So very grateful for their help

Because of them, of 'THIS', they are finally free.

The princess was unsure of all the fuss

She had only helped her fellow friends

The kindred spirits of Opuss

Her kinship to them never ends.

She declared she had to leave

For she was needed urgently elsewhere

The beings of the wood all sighed

For her to leave now was so sadly unfair.

They had only just known of her

And of her friend the tree

They were just so very grateful

That she and the tree had kindly set them free.

"Before you go...." the goblin soon asked.

"Why is that your given name?"

"I have titanium breasts, my dear"

"Bitten off by wolves I was trying to tame"

"Lost during another Opussian fantasy"

"Many battles I have lost and won"

"But I get stronger with each day"

"Now kicking ass has become such fun"

"I used to be known as Princess and the Pea"

"But after my incident with the wolves"

"No prince wanted to marry the breastless me"

"So my titanium tits have now made that problem solved"