1. Sometimes I think the world needs a reset button.

2. It's okay to drink and write. Just don't post until the next day. Trust me on that one. 

3.  Sometimes, when someone pokes me on Facebook, I will take a few weeks to poke them back. Cause you know, I don't want to seem real eager.

4. The bottom of my feet and my palms itch when I drink.

5. I hate it when people fart and blame it on someone else. Seriously, what's up with that?

6. I don't like signing petitions.

7. Sometimes I drink just to see what I will write.

8. The ocean gets louder every time I visit it.

9. I shot a man in Reno once, just to watch him die. Okay, no, I didn't, but that's a damn good song.

10. I like cemeteries. No one judges you there.

11. I have not watched The Passion of Christ. The world is not ready for that.

12. I was a cop 17 years. And during all that time if I was off duty and saw a cop in my rear view mirror my first thought was "What the hell does that asshole want? Doesn't he have anything better to do? Shouldn't he be out fighting real crime?" It's a natural reaction.

13. I don't like ice cubes that are all the same shape.

14. I still get surprised when I cut into a chicken fried steak and it isn't chicken.

15. I think people are dumb and really clueless for getting tattoos. Sometimes I want a tattoo. 

16. I had, have, and always will have, a crush on Marie Osmond. Deal with it.

17. I don't like sleeping with my feet hanging over my bed. What if something reaches out and grabs them?

18. I still play XBOX.

19. I have, for the most part, forgotten how to write in cursive.

20. I pop my ankles every night before I go to sleep.

21. I love the smell of Pine-Sol. 

22. I always have favorite shirts and will wear them until they start falling apart. The last one I had I wore for 9 years.

23. I did not have my own bed until the age of 18.

24. I was the only guy in my typing class in high school.

25. I sometimes wish I could be a short order cook.

26. I have almost never picked out my own clothes to buy.

27. I can eat a whole large bucket of popcorn by myself, and then eat dinner.

28. I sometimes wish Pepto-Bismol would be made into a milk shake flavor.

29. When listening to anything on head phones I can only use one ear at a time.

30. I have never smoked, and I know it kills people, but sometimes I still think it looks cool.

31. It bugs me when the girl at the drive thru at Dairy Queen holds on to my dip cone for a while before giving it to me. I know she thinks she is doing me a favor by letting the chocolate harden, but I like my chocolate soft. Everybody likes the chocolate soft. 

32. I buy a cup of cheese to dip my popcorn in at the movies.

33. When I was little I wanted to be Tony De Franco.

34. Yesterday I fell off a moving truck (don't ask what I was doing there).  I landed on my back and head but bounced right up like a professional stuntman. Minutes later I did not feel good so I drove myself to the hospital. While checking in I could not remember my phone numbers, date of birth, or much else. When I finally did give up some phone numbers they were numbers I had decades ago. Anyway, everything checked out, just bruised spine and concussion. The lucid moments are few and far between. This may or may not be one of them. Thought you should know just in case I start babbling here, not that anybody would notice the difference.

35. Nickles piss me off sometimes. I'm not sure why. I like quarters, dimes, and pennies. They have character and purpose. Nickles are just too heavy to carry around for what they are worth. 

36. I love bottles and marbles. 

37. I hate fake tortillas. Nor am I fond of people that like fake tortillas.

38. I once wrote a small story on a set of styrofoam plates just to guarantee my story would be around for a thousand years.

39. I really don't like chocolate and peanut butter together that much. Though I love the idea.

40. I don't like to read books that are thicker than a stack of pancakes.

41. I sleep on my right side. Always.

42. My first computer was a IBM compatible machine as big as a suitcase with less memory than my watch has now. It used 5 1\2 inch floppy disks and I couldn't do much on it other than play Pong and Asteroids. It costs 1200 dollars.

43. When the internet first showed up I think I was the second guy on it. But I got tired of having only Al Gore to chat with so I gave that up. I didn't think it would really catch on.

44. I don't like hard back books. I read only softback.

45. I carry a small packet of salt in my wallet for emergencies. 

46. I could eat breakfast all day long.

47. I will judge all eating establishments by the coffee they serve.

48. I own a pair of Batman boxers (my fave).

49. I miss flip phones. Okay, I know there are still some around, but I miss them anyway.

50. I slept on the floor (or sofa) until I was 18.

51. I was once cursed  by  2 curanderas. They are both dead now.

52. I get real attached to drinking glasses. When I find one I like, I will use it until it breaks or I lose it.

53. I used to carry a bottle of Mylanta in my backpack every where I went.

54. I love Barry Manilow, The Carpenters, and Air Supply. 

55. One summer, when I was a kid,  all I did was find bottles and break them. I broke 347 bottles that summer.

56. I can still spin a mean top.

57. If you order pancakes and they bring you the syrup in a little measured container, - get out of there fast.

      Those punks don't derserve your business.

58. I won't use diving boards or trampolines.

59. I don't like those cold coffee drinks that young punks drink nowadays.

60. I hate making lists, even this one.

61. I was once hopelessly in love with the Pink Ranger.

62. I am still hopelessly in love with the Pink Ranger.

63. When I make a glass of Liptons sweet tea I check it's readiness by putting the glass up to the light to check how  much light gets through.

64. I don't like jewelry.

65. I have to sleep covered with a blanket.

66. I have to pop my back at least once a day.

67. I don't like cats.

68. Between the ages of 12 and 15 all I ever wanted to be was a magician.

69. I still think Lay's potato chips are the best chips ever.

70. I used to be a crunchy peanut butter guy. Now I'm a creamy peanut butter guy.

71. I used be a briefs guy. Now I'm a boxers guy. 

72. When I eat pancakes I eat out the middle first, fill up the hole with syrup, then eat the rest.

74. I can't just rinse one hand and dry it. I have to rinse both of them.

75. I was once elected student body president of a university. 

76. I don't like to watch sports on TV, or, for that matter, in person.

77. I don't like to watch people watching sports on TV, or, for that matter, in person.

78. Every time I watch a movie about a world natural disaster (earth quakes, ice age, meteriorites, alien invasion, etc..), it always  seems to happen in New York. I sometimes wonder whether New Yorkers watching those movies ever  see their houses, apartment buildings, or neighborhoods destroyed over and over again. 

79. I used to hate sweet tea and make fun of people who drank it. I love sweet tea.

80. I'm a writer. I know this because I write stuff. 

81. I once almost knocked myself unconscious with a frozen King Size Snickers bar.

82. I can cook, bake and sew. 

83. I once had a dog named "Fuji" because that was the name of the dog on the animated 1970s show "The Osmonds".

84. I once had 2 doberman pinchers that were named "Peaches and Herb". 

85. In cold weather my mom used to heat up all the food scraps from our meal on the stove and then feed them to our dogs outside. And, I must admit, it sometimes smelled great.

86. My mom used to boil my dad's shirts in starch on our stove in the kitchen. And, I must admit, it sometimes smelled great.

87. When I die I want a Facebook funeral so nobody will have to leave their house.

88. I always want to slap people who run around with those bluetooth ear sets for their phones.

89. I love to drink out of jars.

90. I still like to put peanuts in my bottle of diet coke. 

91. My hands are so so so soft. Seriously, they are.

92. I don't like writing. I like having written something, but not writing.

92. I will not use Google to find the definition of something, as a rule, more than once a week. 

93. I love Dutch Chocolate Milk.

93. I could eat chocolate kisses all day long every day.

94. I have more patience then any other human being you will ever meet.

95. I can name every constellation in the sky. 

96. I miss pagers. 

97. When it comes to crime scenes I make Mr. Monk look like an amature. 

98. I once got chased down the street by a horny toad.

99. I read several books at once. Don't know why I do that. It's a mystery.

100. I can only eat ice cream with a plastic spoon.