When I cry it hurts.

Mentally.

Physically.

I think of the reason for why I am crying.

And that hurts my mind.

I feel a pain in my lungs and heart.

My right hand shakes.

My throat hurts.

My eyes water.

Then I cry.

I curl up into a ball.

I make pained, silent shrieking noises.

Like a cat dying, or being strangled.

If only I could stop this.

The pain in my heart and lungs hurt again.

They hurt more now.

My shoulders feel like lead.

And I collapse.