You know that feeling you get when your heads about to explode? When you've cried and screamed so much that all the blood rushes to your face with nowhere else to go so your ears just ring. That's how I left the apartment complex and wandered all the way to Marina Green, a large patchy grass area of her distract with some of the most iconic views.

At the point, I cried silently and beat myself up about how stupid I was all these years. I wanted to second guess the way I was reacting, to kick my own ass, and complain about how silly I acted at the party, but I was still too steamed to function. Honestly, I never really cared that they were an item it was the execution I hated. I was a loyal friend who never once lied or turned on any of them. A simple "Hey you're nice and all but I like Jasmine more." Would have crushed me but I would have understood. Walking in on them though, seeing then ravishing each other when just days earlier I was all he thought about. That shit devastated me.

Not being able to hold it in anymore I leaned forward and screamed my head off until I cried again.

"Whoa! What wrong with you -"

I turned to see Andrew of all people approaching me. That stupid Canon hanging around his neck.

"No," I shook my head, "Not today! I am not in the mood to deal with you so just get away from me."

"Just take it easy and calm down." He said as he took my arm, "Your face is turning purple."

"Don't you fucking touch me!" I smack at him.

Andrew did the exact opposite and threw his arms around me in a hold. Still upset, I screamed and thrashed around like he was going to kidnap me. Causing yet another scene and getting looks from other people just trying to enjoy their day.

"Stop fighting me damn it," Andrew growled against me.

"Put me down!" I screamed.

"I when someones been triggered," He yelled, "If you keep this up you are going to cause yourself to have an attack you fucking idiot!"

"Put me down now!"

During the second scream I pulled away he released me and sen me hurling to the ground. Hitting the grass I rolled onto my back and laid there when my arm over my face. My head was spinning and I couldn't seem to catch my breath. Lying there long enough with my eyes fluttering, I swore I could feel the Earth's full rotation. Immediately I felt Andrews' touch once. He gently pulled my arm away from my eyes and held my face in his other hand.

"Leave me alone?" My voice was nearly gone.

"I just can't walk off and leave you like this." His voice was so serious for once, the tone deep but as gentle as his touch. "Just give me my minutes of your time okay?"

"My head is killing me," I admitted, still crying.

Lying on the ground opposite ways from me, Andrew slid his arm under my head and propped it up. "You're still trembling pretty bad. Just take a few deep breaths and try to relax.

"Why do I keep breaking, What's wrong with me?"

"Well, honey bun this is what a panic attack looks like."

A panic attack? I don't think I have ever had one this extreme before. Andrew just lay there quietly as gathered myself, occasionally wiping a tear off my face and pushing my hair out of my eyes. I felt like a zombie completely paralyzed by his touch. As I felt my pulse lower back to a steady pace the world around me seemed to grow in clarity. The grass was green and beautiful, the sky was cloudy but remained just as blue.

Then I saw him.

His black hair dangled past his face as he hovered over me. The breeze pushed strands to and from his face, drawing my attention to his eyes. In the past encounters, I just thought they were dark as coal. Now seeing them in a new way they were actually a deep brown, yet when the sunlight hits them, I got a glimpse of green around honey gold. That was my favorite.

Without thinking, I reached up and touched him. My fingertips gently tracing over various freckles and beauty marks that scattered across his face. It was the first time I thought, how is he this beautiful?

"You're...the idiot," I said, finally remembering a few lines back.

Andrew just smiled, "I see that you're making a comeback. You want to talk about what happened?"

I shook my head no, "I'm fine now. You can get lost."

"Nope,"

I rolled my eyes, "What do you want from me?"

"Just your company." Andrew slipped his arm out from under my neck and climbed back to his feet. Dusting off the back of his pants, he checked out the condition of his camera before extending his hand out  to me. "Come one, I know this great Chinese place around the corner. I'll get you another egg roll."

Still, very skeptic of this one and feeling like complete shit I followed him out of the park to his choice of venue. We didn't eat inside, rather grabbed a couple of small appetizer quality food and continued to walk around the Marina district. After a few annoying questions of trying to pry into my problems, out of sheer curiosity as his excuse, I ended up telling Andrew the basics.

I was shocked to see he was a good listener, didn't judge and remained silent for most of the conversation. It felt good to get things off my chest to a "almost" complete stranger, despite having an awesome roommate who supports me. One thing that came out of the intensity I had hours before, I realized I could have handled the whole situation better.

"Honestly," I proceeded, "I don't even care if they dated. I'd be happy for them, but...I just got so upset."

"Well, from what I gathered." Andrew said as he devoured his spring egg roll. "Your dad's a piece of shit, You're settling into a new place and a new job. Then your crush of twelve years gives you the best day of your life not only to change his mind at the last second, but to get in the pants of your best friend. That kind of stress can do some serious damage if bottled up for too long."

Best friend. It's an odd word to classify Jasmine down that I think on our experiences together. From the beginning I was more the third wheel or the outside they had welcomed into their group since her older brother thought I was cool. After our argument, I felt like a burden more than a friend.

"I shouldn't have yelled like that."

"You were upset," Andrew justified. "You have every right to be, just like they have every right to fuck each other. Not they could have planned the execution a little better."

"I feel like a horrible person."

"Nah," Andrew finished his food. "You can be a good person with a heart of gold and still tell people to fuck off when you need to."

Sighing, I crumbled up my bag and tossed it in the nearest trash bin. "I'll probably avoid them for a while. Who knows, they'll probably all be happy I'm gone."

"Don't say that."

"Don't need to," I continued, "The silence of my phone since my outburst said it for me."

"Don't worry about what they do...so what if they hate you." Andrew shrugged, "The best thing I've learned over time is to always be own your own side. Any relationship isn't worth shit if it means destroying yourself in the process."

"Wow you're just full of fortune cookie bullshit aren't ya."

"Yep," he said slipping open the tiny strand of paper folded from within his cookie. "And your lucky numbers are...six, three, thirteen and forty-two."

I scuffed and snapped the paper out of his hand. He's such a fucking idiot.

 Nevertheless, I found myself more relaxed than ever and strange to say I was enjoying his company.

Another chapter up! woohoo!