Nervous and fuzzy and completely hysterical. Running back and forth from my room to Evelyn's, I looked at myself in her mirror every time I made a fashion change. Beckett has known me for years, I didn't want to wear my usual casual duds. I wanted something flattering and exciting, something he has never seen before. It had reached the mid to lower seventies here in San Francisco, so I also wanted to be comfortable and snug.

"Why must this be so hard."

"Do you plan on wearing underwear?"

"What," I spun around to Evelyn on her bed with her laptop. "Yes, I plan to wear underwear."

She shrugged, "I figured with the sexual tension you have built up, you may want to use it on this male you seem to have a crush on."

"I don't believe I will be having sex on my first date."

"Pity." She rolled off her bed and joined me over by the mirror. Since she never ventured outside much, Evelyn always seemed to be in her jammies. Like a fashionista and a room full of shoes, I'm sure my witch had a wide collection of Pj's. She loved to cross-match them as well. Today it was black unicorn pants with Disney's evil queen top. She pulled open a drawer and pulled out a black jean garment. "Lose the pants then."

"Excuse me?"

"Here," Evelyn handed me a pencil skirt that buttoned up the front. "This should fit you and will flatter your hips in the right way. With a nice, soft, long sleeve shirt he won't be able to behave himself."

I took her advice and found me a nice top, it wasn't long sleeve but it was loose and hung off the shoulder... and I wasn't wearing a bra. To me, that was scandalous enough. Our date destination was Golden Gate Park. It was that time of the year for their famous harvest festival, there would be games, good food, and a lot of stuff to win. We both loved the outdoors, so I found this day to be quite eventful.

We were already hungry on the way, so we took to the food carts and sampled everything to our heart's desire. The first date jitters were getting to me then since I woke up and now that I was with him I was having all sorts of paranoia. Like watching what kind of food I was eating. What if he decided to kiss me? what if I have garlic breath or worse?

Then there was Beckett's existence. Now being an official date I was able to cross those little boundaries I wouldn't do as friends. Like taking his arm and holding close. I didn't even ask as we walked around the park, I was afraid I might have overstepped when his head turned towards my movement. Instead, he smiled and pulled me closer. My god he was so handsome, and I was practically gushing.

"You look very pretty today," Beckett smiled.

"Thank you, I didn't know what to wear."

"Ah," he laughed, "Did my invitation have you running around the closets completely fuzzy."

"No," I replied. "... Just mild fuzzy."

"Fuzzy is good." Beckett pulled from my hand and slid his hand along my back, causing my heart to jump into my throat. That cocky bastard knew what he was doing.

Next, we hit the games and enjoyed a friendly competition. I was way more relaxed in these situations, it felt like we were just two friends hanging out. I was no longer nervous, and he remained his flirty gentleman personality. Like lining up with my body to teach me how to throw a ball in a way it would score me the big purple gorilla. Or lending me his jacket and rolling up his sleeve to hit a bell with the rubber hammer, something a nine-year-old could do. Hey, if he wanted to show me his biceps I wasn't going to refuse him the opportunity.

We chased each other through hay mazes, played with the puppies being hosted for adoption at the kennel booth, and shared several sweets. The date was nearly perfect for me.

As the day dragged on our fun time and conversations became a deeper tone. Nothing too heavy but just things like where we saw each other in five years. What were our goals in life? Beckett was always the steady one who planned before he acted. He came from a large family of five brothers and three sisters, all very nice people. Although he carried the family's passion for life, he carried an old fashion romance and loved doing cute little gestures, things that would make a marriage insight and long.

Did I mention his full understanding of women, over the years he was always there for me as well as the other girls in our group? When Jasmine announced her pregnancy and separation from her dickhead boyfriend, he took that place of full support. Did money for baby things? done. Need a babysitter? Done.

He loved Keiko just as equally. When her father scolded her for coming to America made sure she was secure with a stable job and I.D. Beckett was just raised that way, he took care of everyone. The Fred of our Scooby gang. Because of this, I felt no real fear of him. I knew I was safe when he touched me, no matter how minor, and if our relationship did progress further that day I know he would be kind.

There was a small gathering over by the pumpkin loft. Children and adults alike were posing in front of a cameraman to get their next postcard quality photo.

"Wanna get our pictures taken with pumpkins?" I turned to him with eyes big.

"Oh, I know how you feel about pumpkins." Beckett took my hand, "I'd be an idiot if I said no."

With new excitement, we walked through the patch and waited for our turn for pictures. Beckett took the waiting time to pull out his phone and text who only knows. As for me, I absorbed the surroundings took some of my own pictures of anything that could fuel a painting later.

We grew closer to the front and I got that strange yet familiar sensation of the photographer. One that didn't nearly hit my short self until the people in front of us parted, and we were up next.

"You got to be fucking kidding me."

Standing there in black jeans and a red plaid long sleeve shirt was none other than that eccentric scoundrel. I huffed and went ahead of Beckett to get his set up first. Announcing myself by forcefully smacking my hands on the bale of hay he was using as a table.

Andrew turned with a wide smile on his face. "My cat burglar! We meet again for the third time."

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Making a living," Andrew gestured to all of his equipment around his booth. I had to admit he has quite an impressive setup, but that was beside the point at the moment.

"Enjoy that honey bun?" he asked with a smirk.

"I threw it out," ... Not really. "It just seems dull and unsatisfactory."

"I find that a bit false considering its size."

I'm going to fucking kill him.

I opened my mouth to deliver whatever comeback that I could conjure but Beckett and reached me instead. The men greeted each other as usual and Andrew acted like I was a total stranger. He paid him five bucks for a single 8x10, and we took our places by the setup. It was a beautiful clash of summer meets fall with the gold flowers and squash.

He acted more professionally in front of my date and the picture quality was indeed worth the money. Once it over I looked over my shoulder as we left, surprisingly, Andrew's eye was not on me but on his work. I guess it felt awkward to be because it was the first time we parted without having a snarky exit. Another perk of having my arm on Beckett.

Thunder clouds made their presence known and soon after there was rain... did I mention that my shirt was also white?

"Oh shit!"

"Come on, my truck is over here!"

Climbing in I was greeted by the warmth of his heater, thanks to his handy function of being able to start the truck before we get to it. Beckett drove me home in silence, I guess we were both still processing the day. It was indeed a good one. Pulling up outside my complex I couldn't stand the lack of noise any longer.

"Thank you," I said

"It was a lot of fun," Beckett said.

Was it the rain beating the windows or my own heart, I wasn't sure, but I took a notion and did something, unlike my old self. With Beckett just so close to me, those blue eyes pouring into me. I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his. It was a rookie move and I completely forgot to ask him, I thought I had seriously screwed up...however he did pull away.

Moving gently he kissed me back, there were no fireworks or having your breath taken away as you hear about in stories, but it was overall pleasant.

"Would you like to come inside?" I suddenly asked.

Whoa there, look at me being bold and acting as the number one slut. I was practically throwing myself at him all day. I pray that didn't show my inexperience and look too needy.

Beckett chuckled nervously and pulled back. Something about his charisma seemed off and avoided eye contact as he spoke. "I like you and I have for a long time now but I never really understood in what way before now... and...I think we should stay as friends."

I felt like my chest plate just caved into my rib cage. I swallowed hard and fought to understand everything that happened today that could have led to this.

"What did I do wrong?"

"Oh god no," Beckett quickly turned to me, taking my hand. "It's nothing you've done, Don't ever think that. It's just... I was confused and I felt something I couldn't Identify until today. You're a great girl Cora, I care about you but I just don't think I could ever love you the way you want me too."

"May I ask why?"

"We want different things." Beckett was becoming more and more nervous as he gripped the steering wheel of his truck, rubbing the leather with his thumbs. "I don't want to come off rude but you can't give me what I want...for my future."

It was at that point I could feel the tears coming. I held my breath and forced them to stay in my throat. "That's not fair, you know I had control over that."

"I know, and I'm not blaming you." Beckett reached for my hand again. This time I pulled away and refused his touch. "Your life was at risk, it had to happen. Please don't be mad."

"I'm mad." Just hurt, "Thank you for your honesty I guess."

"Let me walk you to the door."

"Don't." I snapped.

"Cora, it's raining."

"Story of my life," I said sliding out of his truck. "I'll see you tomorrow."

My mind went into a blur as I raced up the stairs to my home and forced myself behind its gate. It was a perfect day gone sour, like everything else in my life, and as usual, it stormed. This time I didn't even fight it. I accepted that my life fucking sucked, slid to the ground, and just sat there. I took the 8x10 of us in my hands and ripped it until I couldn't recognize the image.

Penny for your thoughts. Don't be shy to comment, I enjoy hearing your thoughts and interacting.