I'm so lonely and depressed and upset and I don't know how I'm gonna even pretend to be happy anymore cause it's not working the pain is so much why won't it stop I did get happy for a bit yesterday like 2 minutes then he got mad at me and I started crying all over again I watch YouTube that kind of helps but I don't know what to watch and I feel like I have no one I have 1 Irl friend and I feel like I'm losing all my online ones I'm just gonna go cry again......bye