Picture to the right is of Amanda Seyfried aka Anne.

It was late at night well after nine as Father Jude began preparing to go to bed. He moved silently through the large church making sure everything was turned off and locked up. He walked passed the confessional and his gaze drifted to large wooden doors, Anne hadn't been back tonight. Something about her not being there today made the church seem more empty than usual and his chosen life style more cold. She never missed confession, he could almost set his watch by her coming faithfully once a week to confess. Sometimes he knew she made stuff up, and he would point out that she was lying. She would laugh softly then say, “Forgive me father for I have sinned, I just lied to a priest.” he would laugh too and they would sit together in an easy silence separated by a thin wooden screen and a lifetime of choices. Sometimes she would cry, she would break him a little more with every sob as she confessed that she wished her faithfulness was truly directed at God and the church instead of the man she confessed too. He didn't have to pretend to know her pain, he felt her struggle deep in his bones as surely as she did.

He began to worry if there had been a reason for her absence today and prayed she wasn't hurt. He supposed he could always call her home, and ask for her. What would he say? What would he tell her husband if he answered? He immediately decided against calling her house. He was walking back up the aisle when he heard the banging on the front door, loud and panicked. Turning he walked back to the door and undid the bolt, the massive floor to ceiling oak door swung open and Anne stumbled inside.

“Anne, what are you doing here?” He asked, relieved to see her at all.

“I had to see you,” She said, turning to face him.

Her blonde hair was disheveled and her clothes were soaked from the rain outside. Her cheeks were pink and she seemed slightly out of breath, but her blue eyes sparkled like the night sky itself.

“I thought you weren't coming today.”

“He knows,”She said, shoving her hair back from her face.

“Who?” He asked, though there could really be only one person she was referring too.

“Ed, He knows,” She said, her husband just like he thought.

“About us?” He asked, not needing to second guess.

“Yes.”

He should have been more upset than what he really was, he always knew that one day someone would notice. He had never touched Anne except for a handshake, but his eyes conveyed the want to, he knew someone at some time would notice the way he watched her. He put his hands in his pockets to keep from reaching out to her, anytime they were alone in the past there was a wall between them, and anytime they were face to face there were other people in the church. Now, standing here face to face all alone she was even more tempting.

“I can't come back here,” She said, tucking her hair behind her ear and walking away.

“Anne.....”He wanted to say something, but he didn't know what.

“It's not safe for you if I keep coming back here, someone else will find out. They'll take your title and break you down, it's not safe for you. I just had to come back one last time,” She said.

“I don't care about that, they can take my title. They can do whatever they want they can stone me if it makes them feel better, I won't give you up, I can't.”

“I won't stand by and watch you be destroyed, you can't ask me to do that,” She said.

“I don't care about anything but you, as long as you stand by me they can't hurt me.”

“Ed, will destroy you. He might even kill you,” She said.

“Are you afraid of him? Did he hurt you?”He asked.

“No, he left. He may have went to see Brittany for all I know but I'm afraid for you.”

“He can't hurt me,” He said as he turned to walk away.

She grabbed his arm her tiny hands freezing cold on his warm arms, the skin on skin contact sent a rush of blood through his body that almost took him to his knees.

“Anne.....”He meant to warn her not to touch him, but he didn't finish.

“He can hurt you, he can kill you. I'd rather leave now and know you're safe than ever have to live without you in this world,” She said.

“He already has the only thing in this world I have ever wanted, he possesses the one thing I prize above anything in my life. He can't hurt me more than he already does,” He said.

“I'm going to go home and I'm not coming back,” She said, looking up at him.

He knew what she wanted, he knew as sure as the sun would rise tomorrow. She wanted one of the stolen moments he had dreamed about for months, she wanted to feel his body moving with hers for one second in time. She didn't want him to beg her to stay, he knew that but he also knew that what she wanted he couldn't give her.

“I wish.......I could be the man who saves you,” He said softly.

“You are, I'll never stop feeling this way. He can do what he wants, he can keep me at home, he can lock me away for eternity but he won't keep my soul from reaching out and finding yours. He only ever possesses my body, he's never touched me like you have. My soul is yours, so is my heart,” She said.

“I wish I could say I'm sorry, but I'm not,” He admitted.

“I'm not either, I should go though.”

“It doesn't have to be this way, you could stay,” He said, hating his own weakness that insisted he ask her.

“No, I can't. You love being a priest I won't let this change that.”

“It already has, I love you more than anything,” He said.

“I know, and I love you. Which is why I have to go,”She said.

He reached out finally breaking with his need to touch her, he cupped her cheek with his hand and she closed her eyes leaning further into his palm. He wanted to kiss her more than he wanted his next breath, but he couldn't because he was afraid he wouldn't stop. He leaned forward to rest his forehead against hers and they stood there sharing a minute that nothing would ever take away from them. One minute in the life span of two people.

“I have to go,” She said.

“I'd do it again, it was worth every minute. I loved you enough in those few minutes we spoke each week for it to drag into eternity.”

“Goodbye,” She said, lifting her head.

He felt her slowly pull away from him, and he bit his tongue until he tasted blood to keep from groaning in pain. Nothing her husband or anyone else would do to him could ever hurt this much. He watched her walk to the door and pull it open stepping out into the rain, the door closed behind her and he never felt more alone in his life. He stood there at least five minutes just staring at the door, praying she'd come back and terrified she might.

When the door didn't swing open, and she didn't rush into his arms he sighed and made his way towards the alter. He needed to pray, it seemed he prayed more now than he ever had and yet God had turned his back on him. Praying no longer offered him the sense of comfort it once had, his soul was permanently tormented. He knelt at the alter going through the ritual of crossing himself and began to pray for comfort.

“Forgive me my God, I have strayed. I find my devotion lacking and my faith shaking. I love a woman as I've never loved anything in my life even my Lord. Lord of my life ease my suffering, hear my plea and bless my soul," He prayed with more passion than he ever had.

If he hadn't been praying so passionately, if he hadn't been so overwhelmed he might have heard the door creeping open behind him, and the heavy mens work boots crossing the floor behind him, but he didn't.

He felt a presence behind him and before he could stand strong arms locked around him. He almost didn't struggle, he almost didn't care what happened to him now that Anne was gone but instinct took over and he began to fight.

“Don't fight it won't help, your God won't save you now,” A voice said.

“What do you want?” He asked.

“I want you to stay the hell away from my wife.”

“Ed? She's not here,” He said.

“I know, and I'm making sure there's never a reason for her to come back.”

He heard the snap of a switch blade but nothing could have prepared him for what happened next. With the precision of someone who plotted this for months Ed drew the blade sharply across his neck, instantly her felt the burn of pain and the warmth of blood spilling down his shirt.

Ed tossed him aside and the minute he was free he tried to push to his feet, he made it to his knees before collapsing. He clutched both hands to his throat, but it wasn't any use the blood poured between his fingers. He saw Ed wipe the blade on his jeans to clean it and then he turned and walked away leaving Father Jude to die alone. He pushed once more to his knees and began crawling, growing weaker by the second he pushed himself there was only one place he wanted to be when he died. He prayed for help, not mercy and not a miracle to save his life just help to give him the strength to go where he needed. He reached the confessional and pulled open the door pulling himself inside he collapsed onto the wooden bench, completely spent on energy.

He looked to his right where the screen was that for months he had been watching Anne through, sitting here now bleeding and growing weaker by the second he could almost picture here there. He moved one hand from his neck placing his bloody fingers on the screen, he leaned his head back and let his eyes slip closed.

Anne, the one face he most wished to see right now, and the one voice he wished he could here. He could feel her in this place as if she was there, on the other side of the screen. If there was any truth to the stories he read about heaven, hell and purgatory he knew that hell had been his life here, watching her and knowing he couldn't have her. Whatever happened to him next would almost be a relief, a blessing, a miracle. Even in death he'd never be free of her, not really and he hoped that her soul did reach out to him through the span of life and death and would find him on the other side. He hoped where ever life took her she was happy and found peace.