I remember that it was raining, the day I first saw you. When I was standing in the sidewalk 4 meters away from you, you were laughing. The day wasn't going very good, but you made my day.

The day of the game when I was in the field, I could see no one but you in the gallery. Everything else was a blur.

I remember the first time I saw you talking. You stuttered but I didn't care.

The day when you were at the soccer practice , i saw you making some foolish mistakes, but I didn't mind.

I knew I was falling, I knew you wouldn't catch me.
But I fell for you anyway.

I remember the first time I saw you smile.I still feel that pounding in my heart, when I think about that. I didn't need much so I didn't ask for anything. Seeing you smiling from far away was enough for me.

But I didn't know you wanted to take that away from me too.

I remember the siren of the ambulance. The time when they took you out in a stretcher, i knew what hollow was. But I didn't show much.
I knew you would come back. Not to me, but to your family, your friends, your life.
Your same old routines.

I knew you would still walk up that school gate everyday, with a bright smile . You would always be the straight-A student of your class. I knew your life wasn't over. You still had so much to achieve. And you had to come back to that person, who held that special place in your heart.
But things don't always go the way we plan.

So, you wronged all my thoughts. You took everything from me, crushed my only beacon of hope and took it with you.

I still remember the day when I saw it in the news. They said, you struggled for 6 days. But was it only you?

Those 6 days were the worst of my life.
I was the most insecure, scared, hopeless, heartbroken person of the world for those 6 days.
"School boy dies after getting hit by a bus , loosing the death struggle after 6 days......".
The most fucked up sentence anyone could ever say to me.

I remember when I saw you the last time. When they carried you to the school for the last time. Wrapped in white.

I was far away, cause I didn't wanna see you like this. I never imagined you dressed up for the other side.
I wanted to remember the way your face lit up when I first saw you smile.

Everyone was crying . Except for me. At that time I felt empty. I was staring at the ground, i felt my eyes filling up with tears.

But I didn't let it fall. It's like everything that I felt and had for you was in that teardrop. Every single emotion and all the pain of loosing you even though knowing that I never had you.

So, I swept it away. And looked at you from far away for one last time.

And then I walked away, never looking back.

There was nothing to look back to.

You were gone with my everything.

I wanted to cry my heart out. But I felt like all my feelings for you will be gone, if I cry. Like I will not get that magical feeling anymore just by thinking of you.

So I didn't.

I know I never told you about my feelings .
But now that I'm about to, you're gone.
It's twisted but because you are not here, I am not afraid to confess that,
I always had the deepest feelings for you.

I will always and forever, love you, with all my heart .