2 October 1986

Dearest Diary:

I think you deserve a name that isn't just a journal or diary. Something pretty like my mama's name. Should I call you Katya? I will have to think about that. I would like to tell you that you are beautiful and blue and new to me! Mama got me three journals of different colors because of how much she knows I love to write. I am in the first grade at school # 7 here in our beautiful city of Gomel. I started a month ago and have been learning so much. Autumn has come on slowly here, so the leaves haven't turned a different color yet. I love autumn so.

The other two journals that I received from mama are pink and yellow. But blue is my favorite color, so I decided to start writing in you first. My papa is a librarian, and mama works as an administrator at the same library. That is how they met. Isn't it romantic? I take solely after papa for writing. He writes different articles and even small books, but he can't really get published because he doesn't have the money, but we think that someday he can follow his dreams. My parents have been talking about America a lot. My aunt Nadya and uncle Vlad who is papa's younger brother moved to America in February of this year, and we miss them so much.

Mama is pregnant and should give birth in about a month or so. We think she may be having twins. She is big and round! I can't wait to be a big sister. I don't care if they are brothers or sisters or both. I will love them so much. I am tired of being an only child. It is so boring. I have some neighborhood friends, but they are still into dolls and don't understand how I can spend time writing. I will not spend too much time talking about them because they took up the last pages of my purple journal that I just finished before I started you, dearest Katya. Yes, I like that name for you. Mama will be honored when I am done with you, and maybe I will let her read a few chapters here. So welcome to my life, my wonderful journal! How many adventures we shall have together! I cannot wait! Bye for now.

Love, Sasha

4 October 1986

Dearest Katya:

I must tell you a secret. I know that sounds scary, but it is not. I had to write in you as soon as I got home because I met someone really nice and he is an adult and not a child, and we had a delightful conversation. Homework can wait, and my parents aren't home so I can get this out on paper. My school is very close to my home, and I just have to walk past the hospital in our district on the way home. So I never worry about walking alone.

So anyway, I was walking home from school, and there are these beautiful trees and flowers behind the hospital, so I was just humming to myself when from the second-floor window, someone called down to me.

"Hello, little girl." I turned my head and tilted it up, the window was open towards the outside, and a man was sitting there almost hidden in shadow though the light was on in his room. I could tell he was a patient in the hospital.

"Hello, mister," I said pointedly.

"What is your name?" He asked me kindly.

"Morozova, Alexandra Feodorovna. But everyone calls me Sasha."

"That is a very long name indeed, for such a little girl to pronounce. I like Sasha too." He smiled.

"Thank you. I am not that little, I am 6. What is your name, mister?"

"I apologize for my mistake, 6 is a great age. As for my name, it is very long if not longer than yours, but you can call me Vasya."

"Like the camel?" I giggled thinking of the famous Soviet comedy where there was a camel named Vasya. This Vasya, however, laughed along with me.

"Yes, exactly like that. Only I do not spit." He smiled, and I could see his whole face now, but when he opened his mouth to smile, I saw that he was missing two teeth in the front. It was common for village folk to be without teeth but Vasya appeared to be a city born man.

"So why are you in the hospital?" Vasya looked thoughtfully about how to answer. The truth was he did not know the whole answer.

"I was called into Pripyat to help clean up after the Chernobyl accident as I am a liquidator you see and after only a few days I started getting sick. So they told me to stop working after I had been there a few weeks. I could work through the nausea, so I did my job and my duty to the Soviet Union. But now I am too unwell to function, so they took me to the hospital here, and I am stuck until I get better."

Thinking about everything he had said, I remembered the Chernobyl accident though my parents had not told me too much about it. I just knew that a power plant had exploded and now it needed to be cleaned up. Mama was incredibly worried about the stuff that was released into the air. I heard them talking about radiation and fallout. I don't know what any of it means. But many people got sick in my city soon after, and some left and haven't returned yet. Though I am too young, I heard through hushed whispers from teachers that people were dying from some unknown disease and that babies were being born with defects. It didn't seem real, so I chose not to listen. I am only 6, and though we learn a lot to make us intelligent, there are a lot of things the teachers don't tell us and parents shield us from. Perhaps it's a good thing.

"Don't worry young one, I am sure everything will work out just fine," Vasya said seeing my worried look. I smiled at him just as he started to cough. He had to grab a handkerchief nearby to put up to his mouth as he was coughing really hard. I squinted to see if there was some water by his side table.

"Vasya, drink some water!" I said earnestly. He nodded and pulled the handkerchief away from his mouth. As he turned to reach for the water, I saw a tooth fall out of his mouth into the handkerchief. He was coughing so hard he dislodged a tooth! He seemed not to notice as he drank the water in great big gulps and then sat breathing hard. He looked exhausted and so I decided to head home for it was getting late.

"You rest up, Vasya. I will come to see you tomorrow after school!" I said to him as I started to leave waving, and he waved back too tired to speak.

I ran all the rest of the way home. Mama would be home in a couple of hours, so I decided to put this story down here before she did. At first, I wanted to share Vasya with her and then I decided that it would be best if I kept it a secret. Vasya was a special man, and I had found a new friend. Someone I didn't need to share with anyone.

Love, Sasha

15 October 1986

Dearest Katya:

Sorry, I have been busy the last few weeks, but school has gone into overdrive, and I have had a lot of homework though it hasn't been hard. I also have been spending a lot of time outside and visiting papa in the library. Of course, Vasya gets a visit every day after school except on weekends when I can't really sneak out or away from my parents. But he understands. He is very lonely and doesn't have any friends or family visiting him. He said his family aren't allowed for some reason, so he has nothing to do but read books that were brought to him by the doctors and draw. This makes my visits to him extra special.

Whatever is ailing him seems to have left him alone because for the last two weeks he has walked around his room and even done some squats and pushups. He has been sick for almost 3 months now, and he said it comes in waves, but thus far he hasn't felt this well in a long time, so we are both taking it as a good sign. He mentioned that he was puzzled by why his skin was dark because he was a light-skinned individual until he went to Chernobyl. He noticed one day that the skin on his hands and face was a lot darker than the rest of his body.

It was a mystery for sure. The whole Chernobyl accident is a mystery. No one really tells us anything or me anyways. I don't know the difference between that plant or a different power plant; why is there so much mystique to this one. And why are people getting sick and going somewhere and not returning? I really don't understand any of it. We had a neighbor that was working outside the whole time during when that accident occurred, and then he started getting sick, and they brought him a lot of milk, and then one day, he just wasn't there anymore. It was 3 weeks between the time he first started getting sick to when he left. We saw his wife crying two days ago, and she told mama that he died. But how? And from what? I don't really understand death.

This is so confusing, and until someone explains it to me, I won't worry about it. I have to go, Katyusha, mama, is calling for dinner and I have school tomorrow after a holiday so I will get to see Vasya and tell you all about our conversations some more.

Love, Sasha

Present Day

Sasha was laying on her bed as she read the first few diary entries from her blue journal that she named Katya after her mother, Ekaterina. The tears were dry by then, but she still had a few sniffles. She had realized that she was stiff from laying in the same position for hours. Somewhere in between reading the journal, she had taken off her wedges and changed into pajamas. Now she heard her stomach grumble as she glanced at the clock and it was after 8 pm, and she hadn't had any food since lunchtime that day. She knew she had to get herself something to eat. Though not a fan of fast food, she found her iPhone and ordered take-out from a place down the street. She was craving an egg roll and some lo mein. She knew she had cash in her wallet and the delivery guy would be at her door 25 minutes later.

After ordering the food, she just started to look for where she had left off when her phone rang, she glanced at it seeing that her mother was calling. She looked around and hastily wiped her face with her shirt sleeves as if her mother could see her through her phone. She then picked up and said:

"Hello, Mama."

"Hi, my darling. How was your day?" Ekaterina asked lovingly.

"Uhm....it was good. I wrote my entire story about my last trip. It should go into print and be out next month." Sasha tried to sound as upbeat as possible.

"Well, that's good! Papa and I are looking forward to reading it." Sasha was silent on the other end as Ekaterina's antennas went up. Usually, her daughter would be enthusiastic about the story she just finished and already be knee deep in her next project. So she tried again:

"Any new projects on the horizon?"

"What? Oh, um, I'm not sure. Kathy said she might have something for me soon." Sasha replied distractedly.

"Darling, are you alright? You don't sound like yourself. Did something happen at work?" Ekaterina went in tentatively because she knew instinctively something was not right. Her daughter didn't sound normal; even Sasha's version of normal.

Just then the doorbell rang and scared Sasha out of her wits as she stumbled out of bed to get her purse still lying on the floor and get the cash to pay the delivery man while holding the phone between her ear and shoulder. Ekaterina could hear the shuffling in the background and understood what was happening, so she waited patiently. After setting her food on the counter and letting out a deep breath, Sasha finally answered her mother.

"No, mama everything is fine. Nothing is wrong at work. I just think I have a bit more jet lag from that trip than I had originally anticipated. Maybe some allergies too."

"You don't sound fine. If you are catching a cold from the constant travel, you need to slow down. Are you sure nothing else is bothering you?" Ekaterina said firmly, sounding every bit the nurturer and worried Belarussian mother that Sasha loved so dearly.

"I am very sure. And I promise if something were going on, you'd be the first to know." Sasha smiled despite herself as she poured herself some orange juice from the fridge and bit into the hot egg roll that she had gotten out of the delivery bag.

"Ok, I will hold you to it. Go eat and get some rest. I will call you tomorrow morning. Goodnight, sweetheart."

After bidding her mother a goodnight as well, they both hung up. Sasha devoured her dinner not even realizing that she was as hungry as she was. Then after cleaning everything up, she walked slowly into her bedroom and lay down on her bed. Picking up the blue journal, she knew exactly what was going to happen next. She was only 6 years old and was so naïve about the whole Chernobyl catastrophe as well as radiation poisoning. But how could she really even know if the government covered it up themselves?

She found where she had left off in the entries and with a sigh began reading again. The latent period was over for Vasya. Now the real horror was about to begin.....