Remi's eyes blaze with anger suddenly, and for the second time today, the gold specks in his blue eye completely disappear, lost in the swirl of rage that is in his eyes. "Get out," he says softly.

Although every action of his tells me he's angry, I refuse to believe it. His sorrow is threatening to take over his mind and ravage it until nothing is left- like a ruined town after a hurricane. And right now, I'm certain that he is more sad than angry. The question is, why?

"I want you to tell me who she is," I push the words out of my throat. I stil can't even say her name.

"I said no."

"Remi-"

He draws in a ragged breath. "Do you know what it's like to be searching for someone for years? To be wandering around in a haze of ignorance, wondering, wondering where she had gone?"

I can hardly bring myself to speak. Silence settles over us like dust covering the photo frame of her and Remi. Hesitantly, I take a step closer to Remi, and stand in front of him. His sorrow is so thick and pronounced that I can barely breathe. It's so difficult to see someone's sorrow and not be able to do anything about it.

But I can try, right? I can.

"Remi...I think I know her. I think she's the same person I've been missing for four years."

He looks up at me, pain shining in his eyes. "What did you say?"

And suddenly, it's all too much. The guilt and hurt I've held in for years crashes down onto me, rendering me unable to do anything but fall limply to the ground and cry.

The last thing I see is her again, laughing and extending a hand to me. And then I see her the first time we met:"Be my friend." She is saying softly. 

She blurs and merges with the alarmed face of a man, who seems familiar but I can't place him. The two faces join, and I can only hear a confusing mess of words.

"Angel! Wake up!"

...be my friend....

"Angel!"

---

I open my eyes to see a man with a blue surgical mask on his face leaning over me, frowning. His eyes widen as they see that I am awake. And looking at those eyes, which are a warm hazel colour, I can't help but think: I wish one was grey and the other was blue and golden.

I can't wish for them to be brilliant blue like hers because she's never coming back. So my mind latches onto the next best pair of eyes that I know- Remi's.

"She's awake," the doctor confirms. His voice sounds thick and scratchy to me, and I know my head isn't exactly right yet.

Rustling. Then the pair of eyes I wanted to see appears above my head. When I search them, there's no expression at all. Just a dull blankness, a thin film covering Remi's eyes. He's keeping his emotions closely guarded, I guess. Yet I can tell by his eyes and the cloud of sorrow above him like a shadow that cannot be shed that he is sad.

Probably not because of me.

"Please leave us," Remi says clearly and forcefully. There is no mistaking the power in his voice.

"Uh-" the doctor stammers.

"Get out." Remi says dismissively. Unlike me, the doctor actually listens. He scurries out as I use my elbows and lift myself to a sitting position.

Remi frowns at me. "Are you alright?"

"No, but does it matter to you?" I retort defiantly. Rage rises in me and before I know it I'm shouting. "I just wanted to know who she is to you! I just wanted to know if we knew the same person. I get that you're scarred by that...that girl. I am too. But surely we could just work together to find out more about her."

When Remi speaks again, his voice is quiet and strained. "She meant the world to me."

And to me, she meant the universe.

He continues talking in a broken voice, fragile as a crystal. "She was...she is my sister."

She was...she is my best friend.

"But she disappeared when I was eight. Nineteen years ago."

She disappeared when I was twenty-three. Four years ago.

"I guess she's dead."

I know she's dead.

"I'm twenty seven now, and it still hurts."

I'm twenty seven too, and it will never stop hurting. 

I could tell Remi all of this now, but it would only bring him and me more pain. A wound reopened with a sharp knife, that's what it'd be like.

Remi sighs. "But I've never given up hope looking for Louise. I just...I just want to believe that she is somewhere on this Earth, walking happily with her friends."

That's what I prayed and wished for but it never happened. I know I have to break the news to Remi, the news about her. Because now, I realise that I'm really the only one who knows her story best.

Remi shoves his hands into his pockets. "I think you should sleep now. I'll be back," he mutters abruptly, and turns away. I don't try to stop him as he ducks out of the room. Instead, I stare blankly at the whitewashed walls in the room, unable to move, unable to feel.

My phone buzzes and I pick up Jay's call. Somehow he always knows when to call me. "Jay," I say immediately. And I can get no further before my voice crumples into a sob.

"What's wrong? Angel?" His concerned voice makes me feel better, but not much better.

"Evangeline," I whisper.

With that one word, Jay understands. He gets me like no one else can. Like Remi never can. Jay knows what to do right now, and he soothes me. "It wasn't your fault. It never was, okay? It was her time to go."

"That doesn't mean I couldnt have done anything."

"Done what?" He sounds angrier now. "Angel, you've blamed yourself for four years. I've watched you sob your heart out every night for four years. Your life has been a living hell. Can you learn to let go? It was never, ever your fault."

"Jay-" my voice is a whisper. It strengthens as I pack force behind the next few words. "Shut the hell up."

Instantly, I regret it as a chilling silence settles over me; Jay is not speaking anymore. The line is silent as both of us wait in a stalemate, to see who is weaker, who will give in first. The problem is that we are both headstrong and stubborn. So for once, I pluck up courage to be the bigger person and say "Okay, I'm sorry."

But the line sounds weird. I press the phone so close to my ear that it is practically squished against my ear. I hear panting, and groans of pain. A whoosh of a wooden stick, and a thud. 

"I'm sorry, forever," Jay coughs out weakly. If I hadn't put the phone so close to my ear and increased the volume to the maximum, I wouldn't have heard him at all. 

When I hear what Jay is saying, a frigid breeze seems to blow into me and out of me, leaving me cold and hollow. To outsiders, it sounds like he's saying I'm sorry, forever. But we both know that he was saying my middle and last name. For Ever. It's our goodbye message, one we used to joke about as kids:

"Goodbye, Angel, For Ever!" Jay would call, laughing wickedly. Then he'd add "And Ev-angel-line too! Bye, angels!"

Evangeline and I would wave until he'd disappeared down the street. Back then, I knew he'd always show up the next day to play with us again. 

But today, I have no idea what is happening. I do not know if Jay is gone for good. And that is the most horrifying realisation of all- that I could lose another friend. 

When I look up, Remi is there. He doesn't say anything, his expression remaining stern, but instead, he reaches down and takes hold of my hand. His touch is gentle and feather-light. "Angel," he says softly. "What's wrong?"

The phone slips from my grasp, thudding on the floor. It echoes in the hospital ward. Remi bends down to pick it up and I stop him, tugging on his hand. "I need you to bring me back to town, now," I say urgently.

"Angel, you have a call from some number," Remi explains, and he holds out the phone to me. "Also, you're still recovering from your shock-"

I take the phone quickly from Remi and place it to my ear.  "Kent, what the hell is going-"

"Angel, get your ass here. It's serious."

"What is going on?" A screech rises in me. If Jay is badly hurt-!

"Your crimes have caught up with you, Angel. A previous...victim wants his money back," Boss' voice is devoid of emotion, like he's talking about the weather. 

My phone drops. I can see it as it lands, cracks shooting across the screen. My hands are trembling. This is bad. If the...victim is who I think he is, I am royally screwed.

But I just have to face it.

No more running. No more crying. I am going to stand up for myself. 

Even if I'm the one in the wrong. 

Readers: I hope that you found this chapter and the last one quite intense. I definitely found it intense. Just want to say thank you to my awesome friend V for coming up with a funny and great plot for this story! I was stuck for a while but we planned it during class time in school (lol) and now I know where I'm going with this story. So thank you♡ Stay healthy and safe everyone!

Vote and comment, thank you:)