Sorry for being MIA but it's inevitable guys, I am facing a major deadend and a writer's block for sometime now. The story is embedded in my head but putting it into words is impossible for me at the moment. Also, I don't just want to write anything for the sake of writing. You'll might've have to wait for sometime as I'm trying my best to find the flow back. Hopefully, it will be over soon.

This is a gift for the auspicious day today!

Jai Shree Ram🚩🙏🏻

💙

|She'd cherish the emotions, she made with you. Leap for the love, you bestow upon her|

by medicallymessedup

•present•

I glared at Samiksha who was chewing on my borrowed pencil if it was a lollipop candy meant for her to suck upon like a baby. Her left sat Chhaya who was trying to decipher some text message on her phone since forever, at right Bhavesh who was busy trying to flirt with a fellow girl with silver braces. Sarah and Vivek were dwindling their palms occupied playing red hands while blaming each other for their collective poor performance in a class test.

Everyone in the classroom was busy doing every other shit that wasn't known to be civil. Over the years, I couldn't put up a finger to point out if I was attending school or college because be it my friends or every other student I came across until now still behaved like nursery tots.

Their deeds were just altered from crying for their mothers to wanting their boyfriend or girlfriend who demanded for their undivided attention or else bang! The person's relationship status would be changed to 'broken up' or 'heartbroken' which I thought was foolish.

My friends and I myself were a classic example of the clause that read, 'Good and bad habits are available to make a difference between living in heaven and hell'. That for me meant, all of us unproductive and sin committing people were going to reside in hell because we have clearly sought ourselves the darker side of practicing our share of karma. Precisely, we were criminals that weren't caught as of now.

And then my dose of sin entered the room snatching away all the righteous shit I sprouted for me and my idle friends. If watching was a sin then this man should get invisible from my sight. Aryan Mallik definitely needed to be thrown both out of my heart and life because growing up all the while I was warned about drugs being injurious to health.

And my husband was death for my poor life.

If I'd reside in hell ever, I tell you God that this man is the force behind all of my evil deeds alongwith my simmering desires that'd wait to jump just for the thought of him.

Go die!

I wanted to scream at my poetic self which was the doppelganger of some cheesy bollywood writer that hijacked my body and controlled my mind.

Unlike my friends, my sun rises with this stunning man playing with my mind and ends with him invading my sleepless dreams. I got used to spending hours waiting for him to hear the open and shut voices of the door of his room to feel his presence or even catch a glimpse of his rarely available sight.

We share the same roof yet we barely see each other except for some hurried meals throughout the evening. My day is limited to wait for him or to even catch a glimpse of him since the first day I met him on the campus, the time I spilled his uncapped cold drink ruining his blue pocket shirt on the day of the freshers party. I still remembered weeping throughout the evening recalling the incident that designated me as the 'crybaby' of the campus. Then becoming a target of the group that worshipped Aryan to being his forced wife everything came with a price that had to be paid by waiting.

Even when Aryan seemed to slightly care or even pity my situation, I felt something I shouldn't be. My emotional state is getting hooked with the little concern he showed me. I was overwhelmed by his heartfelt gestures when he just looked out for me in extreme ways. He was slowly but furitively raiding my heart and shielding it with himself. He never said it out loud but his actions conveyed louder. Aryan Mallik was entangled and embedded into my fate even before I could realise it.

A practical part of me had another theory about me being drawn towards him. Maybe he had become a part of the validation I always craved for from everyone. Be it my parents who neglected me but sometimes petted me. To never be the cause of hurt for BadiMa and BadePapa or it was the fear of being a disappointment for anyone else. All of my actions sought testimony from others. Aryan was a part of my journey too that has grown with strong branches that bloomed my flowers of happiness.

"Baby!"

"Baby!"

"Oye!" Samiksha poked me with her nails, "Pass me the box."

"What box?" I asked in confusion.

"Lunch box." She asserted making my eyes go wide as I checked the time, "So early? It's just the second lecture and first for you-?"

"Kitne sawaal karti hai tu, huh?" Samiksha countered, "Don't act rude like your arrogant brother. Give me the box now!!"

["How many questions do you ask, huh?"]

I reluctantly nodded and fetched out my bag for lunch but surprisingly it weighed lighter. I didn't find the box which I tried to find and remember if I packed it in my bag when a blatant burp left Bhavesh's mouth who sat behind with Chhaya. I shook my head finding the foil paper strewn under the desk and left it on Samiksha who would better deal with the miscreants of her Malai Kofta.

[Malai Kofta - Malai Kofta is a delicious dish of fried balls of potato and paneer in a rich and creamy mild gravy made with sweet onions and tomatoes.]

The gang war ensued among the three which I swiftly ignored walking into the library which was my safe heaven. I found the invisible place in the corner to hide away from the prying eyes of the occupants. My mind was wandering and winded up with so many things, so the books no longer comforted me today.

I wanted to talk with my family but BadiMa, BadePapa and Bhai had gone to visit our native town for four days on the insistence of Baba who was unwell. Papa and I weren't on good terms that meant he wasn't going to talk or even answer my call for that matter. His anger on me was justified anyway but I was hopeful that he'd understand my situation too. I want him to be the father who gets angry with his child, even scolds him but at the end of the day gets peace watching the child returning back to him with the same adoration and love. But, alas I have to wait for that day some more...

Sometimes, I wonder where would be Mummy? She would be in India or somewhere else? How she would be? And Vanya, she must have grown up too? How would they look now? Vanya might have forgotten me but our Mummy might have told her about me, right? She would have. I'm her daughter too. She couldn't forget me, of course. She too would've missed me sometimes like I always do? She too would want to meet me someday or is it just me wishing that one day I could meet her with all the bad blood between us gone.

I'd like to wait patiently for that one day to arrive when everything gets rights rather than succumbing to melancholy.

"Knock! Knock!" The tap on my shoulder whisked me out from a perpetual dreamland to match my husband's eyes, "How was it?"

"What? How? What?" I shuffled in a dilemma watching him settled beside me on the previously empty chair with his chin on the support with his arm on the table. When did he come? Why did he come?

"I asked, 'how was it'?" He spelled his question again but I still couldn't decipher it, "What? How? What are you even talking about?"

"You were busy building castles in the air. I personally fancy daydreaming so would you mind sharing your first-hand experience? Like the gains and risks of falling down-" He reported and I believed him too until I clocked his shenanigans, "What say?"

He was making fun of me!

He just did not dare..!!!

"Aryan fuckin' Mallik!!" I gritted my teeth and flogged down my books at his head without keeping a count.

"Leave me, woman!!" He cried or fake cried I would say because this man has got a thick skin. A hit or two won't dust the rust on his acumen let alone my frail whips.

"Nothing good ever comes of violence." He probed dodging my attempts, "Violence doesn't suites you, Baby!!"

"Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. You must not lose faith in humanity, Mrs. Mallik!!" He protested, visibly wincing but I chose to ignore it.

"Such quotes from your cheap mouth doesn't sound appropriate too, Mr. Mallik!!" I grouched while holding him down on the chair, "Now hear a notable slogan from me. By the end of this physical therapy session you'll realise that bullying is a terrible, terrible thing. Bullying is never fun, it's a cruel and terrible thing to do to someone."

"Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Baby!! I would never seek fun from you-" He initiated and I stopped falling back in my chair breathing hard and fast. Just he could raise my pulse for no reason and anger.. Fuck! When did I start being angry? "But we can seek fun together!!" He completed adding fuel to my fury.

I am going to knock him down from the chair now.

"Aryan Mallik!!!"

I began when the sound of clearing throat pulled us out of our little sweet moment. The library attendant from some other university stood before us while a few eyes were trained on us. There was a book-reading programme going on which me and my dear husband had interrupted quite impolitely.

What did I do?

"How may I help you, librarian?" Aryan prodded.

How rude!

"I'm a library attendant if you see." The guy corrected him but Aryan rolled his eyes at him, "Still, that doesn't make you the president to interrupt us. What do you want from us now?"

"There is an event going on here if you care to notice." The guy glowered, "And you've successfully nudged it with your childish actions-" He spared me a queasy glance when Aryan got up on his feet towering the latter and shadowing me from his distasteful gaze on me from top to bottom which definitely made me uncomfortable and nauseous.

I might have acted uncivilized but the way he was looking at me was downright unacceptable.

"First of all, look up at me and talk." Aryan charged at him, "Sorry for spoiling your event but suck it up your face and leave our sight now." He warned and stepped forward making the library attendant stagger back, "You can't talk like this to me. I'm in charge of this place-"

"Do I look as if I care?" Aryan asked dryly.

"Do you have any idea who I am?" The guy countered. "My father is-"

"An infectious creep out of a conceited duct that could possibly cause an epidemic." Aryan voiced without any mercy, "And for your father-" He laughed mockingly, "Agar tujhe nahi pata tera baap kon hai. Don't expect the world to find your sperm donor for you-" The library which was ought to be silent broke into heinous laughter and I wondered where the librarian was.

["If you don't know about your father."]

"You shit-"

"Don't!" Aryan cautioned, "I know who I am and you don't wanna mess with me, Papa's prince!!" He chided, "Ab khud yaha se jayega ya woh bhi main hi karke doon?"

["Now would you leave yourself or I shall do the needful?"]

That was a little crude, Aryan!

I was surprised, I did not flinch away when Aryan sat beside me after the guy left and the commotion settled. In fact, I liked how he shielded me and stood up for me. He protected me without involving or making me the object of attraction among the peers. Rarely would someone do it for me but when Aryan did it now, I couldn't help but feel esteemed and cherished. It wasn't something big but it was a whimsical juncture for me. The one I couldn't get past.

"So-? Do you wanna dough me some more or is it enough?" He wriggled his eyebrows making me chuckle, "No! I had my dose for today."

"Oh!" Aryan relaxed, "My bones are saved." He commented.

"Don't get too happy, Mr. Mallik!! You never know about my mood."

I packed my books while he stared at me throughout the time, "How did you come here? Isn't this your least favourite go to destination?" I quipped.

"I come here often if you might notice." He said with a simple directness that reflected something else. I shut my eyes and shook my head maintaining a smile, "What brought you to fret me today?"

"Why? Didn't you like the intervention or did you get bored of me so early?" He asked, frowning cutely.

"Aisa nahi hai."

["It's not like that."]

"Kesa hai phir?"

["How is it then?"]

"Aryan!"

"Ruchi!" He copied me, moving closer to me when I stopped him midway remembering something, "We are in the campus, Aryan!" I pointed out.

"So what?"

"Anybody can see us together!" I panicked while whisking away my chair from him in fear, "They'll make things-"

"I don't care. You shouldn't either." He necessitated holding the leg of my chair and pasting it with his own while I looked at him dumbfounded, "A wife and husband don't shy away while taking their vows then why to shy away from being seen together." I tried to protest but he added, "I know, public display of affection is shabby but I won't do anything that offends you. You can trust me."

My heart fluttered with a vague calm and I flushed agitated pink. I chewed on my inner cheek when he flicked a hair from my face, clasping it behind my ears and gave a heart melting smile. I was captured by the enchanting sight.

"Baby!" He called out while I just hummed too flushed to speak a word, "You write Sammy's english assignments?" I hummed again, "Sometimes."

"I need your help." He blurted restlessly while twisting our wedding band on his finger which dazzled brightly with daylight falling on it.

"You want my help?" I held up a finger pointing myself still not convinced.

He bobbed his head in response and blew out on his cheeks in hope, "Please! I have a deadline for today along a viva."

Alright then, Mr. Big Nose Mallik wants my help. Let's see what I can do for him.

"I would've done assignments for Sammy but mostly it is her who autocorrects them and gives me a rough brief. I play no role in that, Aryan." I elucidated. "Geetika has the same subject, I think. Why don't you ask her help besides she's also your girl-" Though it hurt like a bitch, I put their relationship into words.

"She's my friend, Mrs. Mallik. Nothing more, noghing less." He stormed, his nose reddening in anger. I bit on my cuticle, skeptical to lodge my complaint against his closeness to her. We had just started getting civil and that doesn't mean I can cross my boundaries by indulging into his personal affairs and I just believed that somehow what he said about her was true. "Geetika has gone to Dubai for a weekend."

"Connect with her virtually." I pushed to earn a bitter glare from him. It's him who gave me every signal to picture them together in something intimate. "Or maybe I can call her on your behalf, Aryan! She won't deny you for sure-"

He probably had enough when he put his hands on the arms of my chair while I simply shuddered leaning back due to his intimidating stature and this proximity wasn't helping me either to think straight or make another witty remark.

"Mark my words for once and all, Mrs. Mallik. I do not go around fucking. Neither am I a manwhore." His sudden hoarse voice played with my minds and I blinked my eyes in acceptance.

Why did you never made me believe that Aryan? How could I probably forget that she was in your arms in the library? She's always around you. Heck, even with you. You reply to her, talk to her, laugh with her, go around with her while I stand like a dummy in the way waiting for you to notice me someday. If you did not target me, you never opposed her bullying me either. You saw me dealing with every misfortune alone here but you never approached me. Why Aryan? Why did you prioritise her over me? You knew I felt for you but why didn't you? Love isn't always returned but you made me feel like an outsider who forcefully entered your life. I felt unwanted by many but your words made me feel like a fool who had turned blind. Even when you cared for me, you also discarded me.

Actions speak louder than words.

And your actions clearly made me understand my significance in your life. Even after sharing the same roof with you, bearing the ring of our marriage and becoming your wife, I couldn't get your love. Then how can you reckon me to believe in your promises, Aryan? How will I? How can I? How should I?

Tears accumulated in my eyelids causing his gaze to soften perceiving my discomfort and feeling guilty. He held my palms and rubbed his thumb over them as if sensing my inner turmoil. He looked into my eyes but avoided them miserably. Why do you make me feel like a hanging garden, Aryan? My emotions for you could neither completely bloom nor entirely perish. They're somewhere trapped in a ravine, safe but threatening at the same time.

"I'm so sorry, Baby!" He whispered wiping away the slight moisture near my eyes, "You say right, I'm a stupid! I scared you away. I should've cleared my relationship with Geetika to you. You might have your share your insecurities which I should have patiently listened first and relieved you from them. I'm so stupid! I made you cry. Shit! I am pure evil and so fuckin' impatient. I have no control over my anger. I shouldn't press you for the matters that you don't appreciate. Assignment! Damn, you assignment! I am not doing you neither am I going for the class. That professor with rheumy eyes can mark a zero in my semester for all I care. Who is he to decide my career? I don't want to be a businessman like Dad anyway. People with business do not enjoy life as they become dull just like their blood-sucking deals which are meaningless and how many hours do they sit bragging in a room together. God! I hate the word business!! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I made you cry, Baby! I'm so stupid!-"

How can he call business dull? If business is dull then I too would seem dull to him. Outdated too because I want to become a businesswoman. That meant, he would have another reason to dislike me.

A uncontrollable sob broke out my throat imagining the obvious while he continued, "I'm rambling! Why am I rambling?!! My nonsense is affecting you. Ruchi, I'm so sorry. Baby, I didn't mean to make you cry. Oh My God! What hurt you? Tell me.." He cupped my face. "Tell me, Baby-!"

I hiccupped without a break while he tried to console me, "You hate business, Aryan." I cried, "And I want to become a businesswoman someday." I covered my mouth with my hand, "That-That means, you would hate me too."

"Baby-" He gasped at me. I knew he was going to ask me for a divorce today itself.

"I knew..I knew..You have a good reason to hate me, Aryan!!" His reaction proved me right all along. "I should've told you this before maybe you would've refused to marry me-"

"Ruchi!! Ruchi!!" He shook my shoulders, "Baby!! Listen to me.."

"No! I know everything already-"

"You no nothing!" Aryan voiced removing hands from my face and meeting my teary gaze, "I might hate business but-" I wriggled to get out of his hold unable to hear against the one thing that is my passion, "But, for you I can love it. I can get used to it for you, Mrs. Mallik!"

"You can love it?" I asked skeptical.

"Yes, I would." He said softly, "Sure?" I asked again. "Sure." He confirmed with a beautiful smile.

"ThankYou!! ThankYou so much, Mr. Mallik!!" A wide grin formed on my lips and I swayed away in his arms bubbling with exhilaration. "Gladly, Mrs. Mallik!!" His chest rumbled with pristine laughter as he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer.

"Well for your assignment, Sammy is great in creating stories." I told him, "She can lend you a better helping hand than me."

"I'd rather fail than asking her help." He fake gagged and I hit his chest.

"Fuck! You're so violent, Mrs. Mallik!" He chortled.

"You don't wanna know that!" I told.

"Oh, I would-" He leaned but I hit him again stronger on the same place making him groan, "Baby!!"

"Behave, Mr. Mallik!!"

"This place is called library for a reason, Mrs. Mallik!!" He chided rubbing the area while I glanced around to catch people immersed in their own work.

"I don't care, Mr. Mallik." I picked up his line still beaming in joy. I pinched his cheek, "You shouldn't either."

This day couldn't get any better.

Lots of Love,

ANKITA