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|Her eyes shut, her mouth closed and a dead heart was all that she owned|

by medicallymessedup

•recent past•

Aakash straightened up from his chair and strode towards Ruchi who was lost in another world, physically available but mentally absent. Her awareness melted in the vastness of a starry-eyed boy. How can someone be so far yet so close at the same time that you feel their presence in your life in every breath you take? How could someone know them without actually exchanging words with them? How can one understand a stranger like the back of their own hand? How and how's were the only words revolving around Ruchi's mind.

"If you don't have any classes left for the day then can we go somewhere private, Ruchi?"

Ruchi stumbled out of her thoughts and passed a worried look towards him much to his surprise.

"I can't." She was apprehensive, "I haven't informed anyone at home, Aakash Ji." The idea to be all alone with him didn't sit well with her.

"Your cousin knows that I'm here." Aakash assured. "People will keep pouring here if we stay." He listed.

Ruchi gnawed at her lip thoughtfully and uttered, "Can I tell BadiMa else she would be waiting for me during lunch."

"Of course!" Aakash nodded, having another reason to be besotted by the woman he was soon going to be engaged to in a matter of days. It's hard to find such an obedient girl these days. She definitely was an angel in disguise, he thought uniformed of the tormenting darkness padding her innocence.

Ruchi excused herself to escape to the washroom allowing Aakash with her friends for sometime more as they're providing a never-ending source of entertainment to his boredom.

"By the way Mr. Aakash, what do you plan on doing in the future?" Vivek inquired in a serious tone, bothered by the worry of Ruchi's well being.

"Currently, I'm a junior news editor for an American channel back in Kingston." He sounded out confident, "The firm I am working in and my career are flourishing well. My this visit had been linked to it too as I had to convey Ruchi about me returning back to Canada-"

"And what if Ruchi isn't willing to relocate? She has got a pretty life here. Nahi mani to kya jabardasti karoge uske sath?" Chhaya interrupted, her voice crisp.

["If she doesn't agree then what, will you force her?"]

"I am not going to force her." Aakash affirmed, "Maybe I will shift back to India then because Ruchi too will be my priority." He chartered, "And Ms. Chhaya, I might be a scrooge but not some abuser to force anyone against their will." He discerned prohibiting her further targeting him.

Chhaya understood she had no valid grounds so far to reject him but then her instincts were stronger than the reasoning that he wasn't the perfect match for Ruchi.

When Bhavesh forwarded a notepad and a pen to clueless Aakash, "Please note down your mobile number and house address, here."

"For what?" Sarah questioned.

"We need to investigate him further for obvious reasons." He answered, gaining a murderous look from Samiksha. "What!!" Bhavesh probed sternly defending his actions, "Bhen de rahe hai hum apni and the least this man could do is cooperate with the procedures."

["We are giving him our sister and the least this man could do is cooperate with the procedures."]

"Why not!", Aakash chuckled, jotting down his personal details onto the paper, "Guys, I have a question." He continued when no one objected, "None of your perspectives mingle for anything then how did your friendship grow?" He questioned connecting it from his observations.

"There's no reason for you to know that because you aren't a part of our family." Chhaya demonstrated gruesomely.

"Not yet but soon." Samiksha corrected.

"That's really good of you, Sammy." He expressed his gratitude and got on his feet spotting Ruchi reappearing from inside the building. "I'll take my leave now and it was nice meeting you all."

🖤🖤🖤

Ruchi nervously fidgeted with her fingers, unable to start the talk. She and Aakash were settled inside a crowded, expensive-looking cafe. Delhi was a city scattered with underage couples who sat and did antiques to make the other people cautious at every nook and corner.

The awkwardness of being in the similar condition terrified her. Love was fine but she wasn't much of a fan of public display of affection. It's a cringe and plain disaster for people around.

Neither did she have any prior idea that Aakash would have arrived at her campus out of nowhere or else she would've found it better to stay locked in the confinements of her room rather than being here.

It was difficult for an unusually extreme introvert like herself to carry or even strike up a conversation with the opposite gender and here it was her to-be fiancé in the form of Aakash.

How wild does Samiksha's efforts go she could just wonder in anger.

The girl contacted her BadiMa and convinced her along BadePapa in a night to set up this extraordinary rendezvous date much to her amazement and also derive out Aakash's number in a snap of fingers from her brother in exchange of letting him win the next brawl they engage into and luckily her otherwise disciplined brother agreed on such a silly bait. She never knew her brother could be so childish while she couldn't expect much knowing Samiksha since childhood. Both her brother and best friend were batshit crazy when kept together between four walls while they exploded like excited gas particles enclosed within a container.

But now how could she let this nervousness of hers creep out the person on the other side of the table; he was her to-be fiancé and there were severe protocols to be followed else her family's expectations were going to be down the drain which she clearly did not wish for.

"You seem to love the place too much, Ruchi. The interiors are pretty distracting to you from me." Aakash's voice startled her, making conscious of her ill-mannered behavior to make him feel left out when he was the one to host her.

Ruchi shook her head acknowledging his words sincerely in a small voice, "No, I'm here."

"Hey! Don't be so offended by my words. Anyway, I was just teasing you." He told her with a grin. "And it's not like I'm your math teacher who wants all the attention while teaching."

Then he asked about her campus, her day so far, her friends and more other things which felt odd for a date but sufficed just for the sake of it. Isn't this a couple-thing then why did it feel forced?

Ruchi tried to smile at his efforts to keep their interaction longer but failed gradually as the anxiety filled up her stomach to an extent where her words reduced to mere nods and head shakes.

"How is everyone at home?" He asked and she replied, "Good."

"Aapke ghar mein sab kaise hain?" She inquired politely.

["How is everyone in your family?"]

"Kuch theek nahi hai, Ruchi Ji." He answered lazily, receiving a look of distress on her face, "Aap ke hamare ghar aane ke intezaar mein sab bekaraar hai." He crooned delightfully.

["Nothing seems right, Ruchi. Everyone is anxious waiting for you to come to our house."]

A wave of trepidation and repulsion groped her heart. Mamta's wish was to find a good alliance and decrease her future worries for Ruchi. They had promised that she was just getting engaged for now to make things official and there were no qualms of binding her freedom into the shackles of marriage such at an early age. She trusted her BadiMa and BadePapa with her life but the shared past of Sunil and Srinija's tragic marriage prowled at the back of her mind and the future began to seem paranoid.

"Ruchi!" Aakash called out tentatively after a while, "You know that I was a news editor back in Kingston and my company might demand that I return back. I wanted to know if you would wish to move there once we are married?"

Ruchi had no inkling about this aspect of marrying Aakash. How can she skip BadiMa and BadePapa's forthcoming questions about the same? Was she ready to forget the place she was born into and grew up to leave for a better place of living. She liked her life here even if it had the bad nights still she had survived here through the better days. Her people, her dreams and everything brewed from here. How was she meant to leave her old life behind for a new one?

"You can refuse the idea if you wish, Ruchi." He held her hand on the table and explained, "I understand that you have a great life here. And we could find a middle path for the same."

Refuse?

Ruchi's inner self mocked the word. Has her life ever given a chance to refuse the cruelty laid by her fate.

The alternative to refuse to endure her mother's hatred.

The refusal to accept the blame of her parents ugly separation.

The refusal to be a victim of her father's ignorance.

The refusal to get blamed for everyone's doing.

The refusal to the atrocities pointed at her throughout the period of twenty years.

Had she got the power to save her decisions then hadn't her life been different?

Aakash rubbed her cold hands again with his own inability to relate her huge dilemma, "Take your time and convey your decision to me. I'll be waiting." He advised, "I hope you'll not compromise our future ahead for such a small thing. America in every way gives us a better option than India."

Ruchi came out of her reverie and plucked her hands from his uncomfortable hold as revulsion occupied her rationality but before he could've noticed her odd mien triggered by his touch, his phone rang.

He excused himself and took the call and a look of distress formed on his face and he hurriedly stood up after ending the call abruptly and halting Ruchi who followed his actions.

"I am returning home now, Ruchi." He declared, "My father's blood pressure has suddenly shot up and he's being hospitalized."

Ruchi curbed her fitfulness, "That's alright, Aakash Ji. You should be with the family. They need you." She managed to respond positively.

"I can drop you home if you want-" He improvised but Ruchi mustered up, "I'll return home myself. Don't worry! You might be needed in the hospital more right now."

Aakash nodded, tensed for his father's condition and was going to rush to the hospital when Ruchi stopped him.

"Please, don't panic, Aakash Ji." She said maturely, "Aapke papa jaldi hi theek ho jayenge."

["Your father will get well soon."]

Aakash took a breather and abruptly left, formally asking her to message him once she reached.

🖤🖤🖤

Ruchi paid for their meal and walked out on the road at a slow pace. She had her mind wander to come up with philosophies to sustain the relationship with her family.

Aakash was soon going to be a part of her life which she can nowhere deny.

Her life solely wasn't hers alone. It had several broken and withering branches called relationships along the flowers, some blooming while others wilting and being simply known as bonds.

Ruchi waited for a while at the bus stand and then for other means of public transport but none arrived. The road was awfully silent and the thought of hiring a cab caught her head but her phone was dead, without an ounce of power.

Her day was ditching her badly now.

When a nice-looking car stopped near her steps causing her to jump back in fear. She wanted to give a piece of her mind to the rash driver but somehow contained herself from bashing the person.

"Who do we have here? My! My! Ms. Crybaby!" The archly familiar voice came much to Ruchi's dismay. "What are you doing here?" Geetika Vohra poked her head out of the window.

"Enjoying the perks of life by strolling in this hanging garden, Ms. Vohra." Ruchi implored with a diabetic smile, "Be my guest." Geetika only snickered in response.

"There is a political rally in the capital and nothing else would be available today except some private vehicles, Ms. Crybaby!" Geetika testified remotely, "Don't you even know this? What kind of topper are you?"

Ruchi's mouth widened in realization. Her phone was switched-off, Aakash who was supposed to drive her had already left, nobody among her family or friends knew about her being stranded alone with no means of transport available either. The sun has set too.

"Why are you telling me all this?" She questioned mistrustfully, "If you're here to seek out some sort of fun from my situation then it wouldn't be good for any of us. I don't have enough energy to engage myself in a fruitless squabble with you."

Geetika let out a mocking laughter, "I have got better things to do than get fun from your bland survival." She removed her sunglasses and patted her car's door, "Hop in the car, I'll drop you."

Ruchi was dumbstruck by an up-front approach. Her so-called bully doling out goodwill accelerated indigestion. When did an unseen change of heart happen in Geetika? "You're making fun of me, right?" She couldn't help but ask, "Why would you even want to help me!?"

"Why? Do I look like Cindrella's evil step-sister?" She inferred, "TBH, I am evidently jealous of you but it would be too cruel of me to leave you just like that to freeze in this cold evening."

"But..your-" Ruchi posited sideways.

"Ab chalogi ya thand ke thode aur maze lene hai?" Geetika levied irritatingly to get her hesitantly inside the car still in her shocking state.

["Will you move now or do you want to enjoy the cold a little more?"]

The journey was imperceptible except when Geetika chided her to enter the location of her locality in the car GPS but after what felt like a decade, Geetika initiated a small talk.

"Jo jaisa dikhta hai wo waisa nahi hai aur jo hota hai wo dikhta nahi hai. Looks are hard to perceive but it is the way it is. I am not your enemy but a competitor? Hell yeah!" She was genuine to her for the first time. "Besides, do you know what I envy?"

["What it appears to be is not what it appears to be and what it appears to be is not what it appears to be."]

Ruchi bobbed her head, viewing a decent, harmless facet of Geetika which nobody she knew would have believed she possessed until now.

"You're true to everyone around. It's hard but still you've got exemplary guts to be yourself." She apprised frankly, "And you owe up to your decisions quite well."

"But, you always abhorred my presence." Ruchi whirred.

"Hate!?" She cracked unbelievably, "God! Are you that gullible?" She preened, "Mark my words. There won't be any fool who would dare hate you, girl!!"

Ruchi couldn't help but smile at Geetika with a swarm of thoughts rushing across her mind. They're mostly filled with uncertainty, confusion and maybe dread but somewhere for the very first time her instincts guided her to trust Geetika for once.

She didn't want to really fall for words when most of the time she mostly gets disappointed in return but there was something off about Geetika's words like she was trying to reveal a thing and there were chances that maybe she was being honest.

"I hope we have reached your place before your curfew begins."

Geetika's sound picked up and Ruchi absent-mindedly nodded, getting out of the car and heading inside the gates of her house after mumbling a small word of gratitude. She had only taken a few steps when two unwelcoming voices from the entrance disturbed her unaimed way.

"Who are you returning back with?" Sushma's voice blared and she then took notice of her loving father along with his sister who stood outside the house.

"Bua Ji!" Ruchi's voice trampled slightly, being aware of her Aunt's dislike towards her, "Namaste Bua! When did you come?"

[Bua Ji - Paternal Aunt]

[Namaste - An Indian formal attribute used for greeting.]

"Do I need your permission to visit my brother's house?" Sushma snapped barbarously. "Apna bata! Tum kaha se ghumti huye aa rahi ho? Aur kese logo ke sath ghum rahi ho aaj kal?" She passed a distasteful look at Geetika's sight and the way of dressing, "Pehle hi kam par nikle huye hai tere, jo ab yeh sab bhi shuru kar diya tune." She continued to badger her.

["Tell me yours? Where are you coming from? And what type of people are you hanging out with these days? You already have been flying high up, now you have even started all this nuisance."]

"Bua, aap galat samajh rahi hain. Yeh meri dost hai. Woh mere sath padhti hai-" Ruchi attempted to explain but wasn't heard out like always.

["Aunt, you are misunderstanding. This is my friend. She studies with me-"]

"Your classes got over almost three hours back. How are you so late? Is this the time to come home?" Sunil interrogated impassively. "Where have you been?"

Before, Ruchi could've replied to their investigation Sushma held her arm in a painful grip and humiliation snaked her nerves by the fact that Geetika might be watching this too.

"Maa-Baap ko alag karwa diya ab kya bhare zamaane mein aur badnaam karwana chahti ho tum?" She fumed aggressively. "Bhaiya!" She called her brother, "God knows what Aakash's family would think of your upbringing if they're to learn about her crooked deeds. They might even call off the alliance, thanks to this unfortunate whim!! Sab kuch barbaad karne par tuli hui hai yeh ladki. Pata nahi konsi paap kiye the hum sabne jo iski jaisi ladki hamare ghar manhoosiyat ban kar aayi hai! Koi sharam! Koi khyaal, nahi hai is behaya ko!"

["You got your parents separated, now in front of this whole world, do you want to defame them further? Brother, God knows what Aakash's family would think of your upbringing if they're to learn about her crooked deeds. They might even call off the alliance, thanks to this unfortunate whim!! This girl is bent on ruining everything. Don't know what sins we all had committed that a girl like her has come to our house as a wretched person! This immodest girl has no shame or any second thoughts!"]

Hearing her, tears evidently smeared Ruchi's eyes when her father directed a gaze filled with accusations towards her and aunt resumed to assassinate her character.

Ruchi vaguely saw Geetika advancing near them but Mamta's angry voice reached her before the latter who had pulled Ruchi out of Sushma's scathing grip and enveloped her shivering form in her motherly embrace.

"Stop spouting nonsense, Sushma!" Mamta reprimanded, "Aakash had taken out Ruchi on a coffee. They were together this entire evening." She hissed angrily, "Ruchi's BadiMa and BadePapa brought her up. We are her parents and we would take her responsibilities every time. Most importantly we trust our daughter enough to doubt her actions."

"My Baby, can never be wrong!" She affectionately caressed Ruchi's pale cheeks. Her heart felt out for her little girl, "Never point your finger at my daughter, Sushma. This is the last time I'm warning you." Mamta cautioned and walked Ruchi inside the house while her sobs turned inconsolable.

Mamta tried to calm her down but Ruchi's heart was already crushed like glass splinters. The numerous pieces now punctured and tortured her soul without a hint of mercy.

"Baby-"

"Ba..Badi-Ma.." She cried, "Aakash.. mujhe ghar chodne wale the pa..par unhe-" She hiccuped, "His father, unwell. Rally thi, meri classmate ne mujhe choda ghar pe, BadiMa. U-ska naa-m Ge-Geet-ika hai. B-bhai bhi j-ante ha-i us-e. T-rust m-e, men-e kuch galat nahi kiya."

["Aakash was supposed to leave me home but he-His father, unwell-there was a rally, my classmate dropped me home, BadiMa. H-er name is Ge-Geet-ika. Bro-other knows her to-o. T-rust m-e, I-I didn't do anything wrong-g."]

Mamta's heart dropped watching her sepulchral condition, "Baby, I know. I trust you. Tu bas shant ho ja, mera bacha! Ro mat! Chup ho ja! Teri tabiyat kharab ho jayegi, mere bacha!"

["You just calm down, my child! Don't cry! Calm down! You'll get sick, my dear!"]

"Maine kuch galat nahi kiya, BadiMa!" She repeated in urgency to prove her innocence. "I w-ould never willingly-y hurt yo-u or any-one else in th-e family-"

["I didn't do anything wrong, BadiMa."]

Her voice gradually quivered and breathing labored, worrying Mamta who hurriedly searched for Ruchi's sleep-inducing medications and tranquilizers. She fed them to her quickly avoiding her health to deteriorate anymore which could've turned out to be dangerous like some occasional events; probably the one triggering her today.

"I did nothin-g wrong, BadiMa!" Ruchi whimpered, her eyes and body giving up against the built-up pressure in her chest and fading away slowly impairing her trauma.

"Sab theek ho jayega, Baby!"

[Everything will be fine, Baby!"

Mamta whispered, swiftly patting Ruchi's head to a peaceful slumber where she might be away from the worldly matters which gave her nothing but remorse and agony.

She kissed her forehead and sat beside her, defeated. "Rabba, meri dhi te kuch rahem kare!" She prayed tearfully.

["Oh Lord, show some mercy on my daughter!"]

Lots of Love,

ANKITA