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|Skin my existence alive yet you'll find me praying good for you|

by medicallymessedup

•present•

The minute I switched back my cell only to watch the flood that surmised on the notification window. It displayed thirty-six messages from my five overly and dearly worried friends along with twenty-nine missed calls back to back which I had been ignorant of until now.

How can I forget them?

Heck! My carelessness had cost them their sleep and concern.

🅂🄸🅇 🄰🄽🄳 🄺🄸🄲🄺

~Balley ⚽

Are you alright?
Why are you not picking up your phone for once, huh Ruchi?
Hun tu kitthe chali gayi?

[Where did you go?]

∆∆∆

~Polka dots 👗

Hey are you okay?
Why aren't you answering us?

∆∆∆

~Pinky Princessa 👒

Phone to utha liya kar! Main yaha soch soch kar samose bhi nahi khaa pa raha hoon. Mummy dategi meri ab.
Reply to kar.
Lagta hai isko humare messages mil hi nahi rahe hain..!!
Aur waise bhi kal ki baarish mein mere ghar ke pass wala bijli ka khamba bigad gaya tha. Koi aur bhejo ise message because my phone does not have a network.

[Is she not getting our messages at all..!! And by the way, the electric pole near my house got dismantled in yesterday's rain?!!! So someone else send her a message because my phone does not have a network.]

∆∆∆

~Silencer 🔇

Abe jab tu hume message bhej raha hai toh tere pe network hoga na!
Tu dimag ki dahi mat kar, gadheda.
And where on the Earth are you Ruch freaking Batra!!
Jawaab to de."

[If your messages are getting delivered to us then you must have got a network! Don't speak nonsense, you idiot. You answer us, Ruchi.]

∆∆∆

~Nautanki ☠️

Eh, Bhena! Tu zinda hain ki nikal li?

[Hey, sister! Are you even alive?]

∆∆∆

~Balley ⚽

"Shut up!!"

∆∆∆

~Polka dots 👗

"Shut up!!"

∆∆∆

~Pinky Princessa 👒

"Shut up!!"

∆∆∆

~Silencer 🔇

"Shut up!!"

∆∆∆

~Nautanki ☠️

Are mujhpe kyu saare ke saare baras rahe ho?
Maine kya kiya?
Isliye main nahi bolti zyaada.
Mujhe samajhta hi kon hain meri bestfriend ke alawa?
Niklo! Chalo! Saare phuto yaha se!
Baby girl, tu te reply kar de hun ik vaari ni te mein tere us Bade Bhai ko phone kar ke shootout at Khandala khel lena hai. Aur yeh warning nahi hain, I'm really very serious, okay!!"

[Hey, why are you all blaming me? What did I do? That's why I don't talk much. Who even understands me here except my best friend? Get out! Now! All of you get out of here! Baby girl, at least you reply for once else I'll call your big brother and play shootout at Khandala with him. And this isn't a warning huh, I'm really very serious, okay!!]

I chuckled mentally at their worry and replied to each of their messages that I was doing fine now and will be seeing them in the campus tomorrow. And personally convincing Sammy to not call Bhai else he would turn cranky.

Don't get them wrong but they're my stressbusters especially Sammy since childhood. We all went to the same school then and now we're doing our masters from the same college. It was a blessing and pleasure to always find her by my side. My friends were an inseparable part of my unsaid family.

My loved ones were my strength.

The time flew like early birds eager to go for their work and I finally finished working on my project which was scheduled for submission next week. I had the content ready already. Just the final garnishing was all that left which is over too.

'You're so weird.' My brain chided.

'Nothing new that you or everyone else likes to pinpoint. I'm aware of my weirdness too.' I responded back to my smarty brain box. Yeh kabhi kabhi zyada bak-bak karne lagta hai regardless of my mood.

["It tends to twattle a lot sometimes regardless of my mood."]

The clock struck, it was nearly the time for the campus and I was supposed to get ready. I quickly took a shower and wore a simple floral kurti-pants along with a scarf completing my look.

It was eight when I finally walked down ready to leave with my bag to the campus after breakfast. Soon everyone else sat down on the breakfast table. There was a disturbing silence when BadiMa placed the food bowls on the breakfast table and returned back to her room.

I sighed, she is still angry.

"Give her some time, Baby! She'd blow off like steam and then cool down slowly." BadePapa said but I know what gets into her when she's angry. She wouldn't say a word and that evidently shows about her palpable anger.

Because my experience says the one who rarely gets angry, their outbursts turn out to be quite disastrous.

And BadiMa was like one.

"Baby, have you prepared and enrolled for the trip?" BadePapa asked, forcing me to tear away my gaze from BadiMa's long vacated seat.

"What trip, BadePapa?" I asked clueless.

"The campus must be organizing it like every year." Bhai informed rushing for his own breakfast.

"I don't know about it yet, Bhai!"

"Such a bore you're, little sister! Haven't your nosy best friend told you about it?" Bhai drawled. "Usne toh puri duniya ka theka le rakha hai na! Phir bhi nahi bataya tujhe abhi tak?"

["She has taken the contract of the whole world. Still she didn't say about this to you yet?"]

"Bhai I really don't know." I confirmed not remembering talking about it to anyone.

"You should start exploring out of the books too, Ruchi!" BadePapa looked at me concerned like always.

"I will see about it, BadePapa!" I tried to assure him.

"Why don't you find where they are planning to go out this time? You would love it for sure and you wouldn't even go to any trips ever except for our grandparents', ofcourse."

I nodded my head and had my food without any further dialogues. As Bhai and BadePapa built up conversations to distract me but it was not in my hand to react when Papa's unresponsive behavior was scaring the hell out of me.

"I will drop you." Papa declared which he never does.

My scooty was on repair due to some glitch in the morning and I supposed Bhai or BadePapa would drop me but this offer came out totally unexpected.

"Kartik will drop her, Sunil." BadePapa argued.

"I will drop her Bhaiya." He said and I somehow assured BadePapa and followed Papa out till his car.

I fastened my seat belt as Papa started driving. I knew something was off and about to come because I could feel it in the awkward air surrounding us. It had always been like this, Papa hardly spoke a word or two with me and when he did it was always something big to my heart. But, his silence went on like a siren in my mind.

"What have you thought?" Papa's plain voice broke my thoughts.

"About what Papa?"

"The marriage proposals Bhabhi asked you to go through once." I gulped on my saliva as the most dreadful topic came up as our start of conversation.

[Bhabhi - Sister-in-law]

"Pa-"

"Think about it, Ruchi! I am not compelled to force you for anything but just think about your BadiMa. She took care of you, sacrificing her son's first right on her. As a payback for all of her gestures, I insist that you marry." He persuaded, "Once you get married, her burden will lessen. She could concentrate on her own son without any responsibility on her shoulders."

My voice paled before I could begin my own side of the story, "Please don't request, Papa. I know what you all did for me when she left us-and I will do whatever pleases you and others." I breathed swallowing my own heart which came in my mouth. "I know that you all will always do the right thing for me and if this makes everyone happy I'll go ahead with it. I would agree with BadiMa's decision after all she's my mother." I convinced my heart.

We reached the campus and he parked the car at a side whilst I tried to understand what I signed myself to, "Thank You so much Ruchi! All I wish for you is that you would never disappoint us." He said, patting my head and I gave him a weak smile before getting out of the car.

"Namaste Uncle!" All my friends greeted Papa as they were already waiting for me outside the campus.

[Namaste - An indian word used for greeting.]

Papa returned the gesture taking his leave while I stood recalling his happy face which had always been a rare sight to witness. And I never knew my single nod of affirmation would get him head over heels in happiness. He was finally happy for me. Because of me. Could my day be any better?

But why does it feel like Papa's joy was almost cornering the sake of my wishes. The agreement weighed down my shoulders.

I closed my eyes and shook my head.

I had always cried for his affection and now in no way I would let my stupidity snatch it from me.

My father has always been my world and there's nothing in the universe that could change it.

"Hey Daddy's princess! Dad's gone and now you need to come back to the real world." Samiksha laughed.

"Was that a thing to even laugh out, Nautanki! Colgate ki ad mein kaam karti hain kya??" Bhavesh bellowed at her.

[Nautanki - Dramaqueen]

["Do you work in a toothpaste advertisement?"]

"Oh you shut up! Jealous pig!!"

"Ruch, are you fine?" Chhaya asked, sensing Ruchi's unusual silence.

"Yeah! I'm good Chhaya." She replied in a low octave.

"Sure?"

Ruchi didn't want to trouble her friends over her out-of-the-blue dropped marriage bomb. They knew she wasn't ready for such a commitment at the moment. Marriage and settling was far beyond her set future goals.

"We have a lecture guys. We should not waste time bickering. Let's go now." Ruchi prodded walking ahead of them.

"Twist the question and win in the game of hide and seek. It has been your brother-sister's mantra. No?" Samiksha voiced in a sing-song voice.

Ruchi ignored her rant because she didn't feel like replying today. They walked inside the classroom where the lecture was going to take place.

She sat on her usual seat with Samiksha and Chhaya on her side followed by Sarah. The girls predicted that something was to do with her ignorance but aware that she won't let it out so easily, Samiksha opted to use her favorite trick that was to push the person's button. Even if the chances were negative, she would gladly take the chance for her bestfriend.

"Bhavesh, are you a homosexual?" She blurted out and the concerned human being turned out to look at her if she was an alien.

Ruchi didn't react, instead she started staring at the book cover as if it was the most exciting thing.

"Will you tape up this trash can?" Bhavesh asked the other four. "Or shall I do the honors?"

"No, you always are stuck with Vivek bro so I was just asking you casually." Samiksha justified her question. "Vivek toh darta hai na mujhse toh woh kabhi confess nahi kar pata isliye tujhse pucha maine."

["Vivek finds me scary that's why he's afraid to admit it to me so I asked you."]

"That's what you call casual?" Bhavesh asked bewildered.

"I don't follow any kind of discrimination based on gender, sex, caste, race or financial status. I'm genuinely neutral and obey no particular prejudice rule book." She replied.

"I will ring up at a mental asylum for you then." He shouted back, "Vivek, how have you tolerated her presence since your birth. Did your parents pick her up from the street by any chance out of pity?"

"I hope so too." Vivek told thoughtfully, "I'll question my parents when they decide to visit next time."

Samiksha was about to retort when the professor entered and the entire class greeted him who just spared his usual nod. He roamed his eyes around the classroom not able to find one of his dearest students like each day.

He soon started his lecture and a few minutes passed by when he asked the students to scribble down the notes for the sub-heading he taught.

"May I come in, Sir?" A deep male voice came from the back entrance door.

"Welcome Mr. Aryan, I was waiting for your interruption only. What do you think is exactly the time of the class according to you Mr. Mallik?" The professor asked sarcastically, "When does the campus begin on your watch?"

"Siiirrr!! How can you forget the time of your own class? You're our professor Sir, what will we students learn if you only start forgetting your lecture timings?" Aryan gasped naively. "Have you been diagnosed with partial amnesia recently?" He uttered, gaining howling from the other students.

"You should be sorry for being late Mr. Mallik. Though you're an usual problem for the entire faculty but this ruckus attitude would not be tolerated by the authorities anymore." The professor grimaced and warned further, "Else we would be forced to invite your father for a tea very soon."

"Dad ko nahi, Sir." Aryan voiced, "And by my most trusted sources I have learnt that Dad is on a business trip for next three-"

["Not Dad, Sir."]

"What about Mrs. Mallik?"

"My Dad and Mom are inseparable, Sir. Their love doesn't let them be apart from each other for even a day. Kyu do pyaar karne walon je beech kabab mein haddi ban jaana chahte ho aap, Sir? Have you forgotten the consequences that would follow?" He pointed, "Your wife will protest against you with black slogans saying, 'Gupta ji bewafa hain'."

["Why are you eager to become a wet blanket in between to star-crossed lovers, Sir?"]

["Mr. Gupta is unfaithful."]

Professor Gupta saw red when Aryan continued without a care.

"Aise acha lagta hain kya, Sir? Kya bura prabhav padega hum bachcho par?"

["Does it look good, Sir? What bad impact would us children have watching all this?"]

"Aryan!!!!" Professor Gupta yelled.

"I'm so sorry, Sir. Should I get inside now?" Aryan asked again, feigning innocence.

'Why is he so damn annoyed with me always. Not a single day goes without his lecture at the start of my day.' Aryan rolled his eyes looking around, unable to catch attention from a certain someone.

"Yeah my dear almighty! Please get inside so that I can continue my class without wasting the time of other students who come here for a purpose." The professor mocked.

"Sir, I too come here with a purpose." Aryan corrected, "Meri toh zindagi ka sawaal hai."

["It's a severe matter of my life."]

Samiksha and Chhaya shared an obvious look with his statement while Ruchi didn't even glance at his direction for once which was making her friends worried.

It was impossible for Ruchi to avert her eyes when this annoying specimen is even near a radar of five-hundred meters. And it was hard to know or think about what was the real issue with her today?

"Ruchi, kid are you understanding?" The professor asked beginning once again.

She didn't reply and appeared unaffected, making the entire class turn to watch her in amusement.

"Ruchi!" The professor called again.

"Ruchi!! Sir is calling you." Samiksha said, pinching her palm because she zoned out looking at her and then staring blankly in the direction of the old professor while the attention of the entire class was fixed on her.

"Are you alright, Ruchi? Where are you lost?" He asked.

"Nowhere Sir! Were you saying something?" She apologized, still standing confused.

The class looked upon her horrified as she didn't know what the professor was talking about, it's like a lifetime treat to watch because its not everyday that they see the topper getting cornered by the teacher.

"I think you're not well." The professor looked on worriedly.

"No Sir, I'm fine but could you please repeat what you asked?" Ruchi asked again.

"He asked if you understood what he taught so far?" Sarah answered in a whisper, on the professor's behalf.

"Yeah Sir! It's clear to me. I clearly understood what you've taught." She lied calmly feeling miserable because lying was never her forte.

"Sure." The professor agreed. "Have your seat please and you can take a break if you want."

"I'm good Sir. Thank You!" Ruchi said trying to smile but failed miserably getting back to her unsettling trunk of thoughts.

When the classes for the day concluded and all the students made their way to the parking from where they could head back to their respective homes, the six and kicks happened to cross the group of popular eve-teasing students.

"Seek the attention when you don't get any. Isn't it Ruchi?" Geetika said wickedly, making Ruchi almost rage within but she wasn't the one who would fight for mere words with a stranger especially the one who seeks fun at the cost of other's. People like her didn't even think once of what their bullying could do to a person.

"What shall we do when all the attention is got to be with you? And this is actually your lesson which I genuinely liked Geetika. We sometimes shall try to learn the need to mend our deeds, no?" She said with mock astonishment, "Now could you please get out of my way as I've got pretty more important tasks than wasting my time with a mean bully." She replied in a calm yet firm tone which signaled Geetika that she was underestimating her victim.

Students around were shocked to hear her replying so boldly because she was famous for being an ignorant dumb nerd.

Aryan who was sitting on the bonnet of his car looked upon the scene trying hard not to react in an unwanted way, hearing her stern voice was like going to a sacred pilgrimage once in years for a sinner like him. And none could really recall when was the last event to that but they weren't aware of her inner voice that demolished the fact that such people could ever change.

If Ruchi had the slightest inkling that her decision was just a spark to the unending surprises awaiting her a life that was eager to embrace her with open arms.

Because sometimes our life gives us reasons to change in unpredictable ways. And those reasons hold the power to change our personality.

The meaning of Who We Are.

And it was Ruchi's reality, aspirations and individuality that were at stake all at once.

Lots of Love,

ANKITA