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|If only my trust was limited to the time on your watch, then perhaps today you would not have forgotten my importance in your life|

by medicallymessedup

•present•

Samiksha and Vivek dejectedly looked at the stairs for there had been no noticeable signs dropped by Ruchi that sent them any hint of her stepping out of the room. For them it was like she was reconstructing herself with the new normal in her life by cutting off any and every interaction with the outer world. They were beside her throughout this tough time but much against their bewilderment she hadn't mourned upon her reality like the way they expected her to.

It was a huge shocker for them when they witnessed her implicit refusal to have a conversation about her father. The man for whom she was explicitly maiming her life had suddenly wiped out from the face of her existence as if their severed bond wasn't the last thing she was holding on to sail the boat of her livelihood.

She wasn't even lamenting through the medium of her tears and was alarmingly silent as if another calamitous tyranny had hit her.

"Should we take her out somewhere?" Vivek suggested, "We might be able to divert her mind along with the rest." He was optimistic to help the latter cope up with the happenings.

"Not possible." Samiksha declined his offer, "Ruchi isn't ready for it yet." She replied with a straight face, "She might get more distant from us if we pushed her limits. She needs ample time to finally come into terms with reality and we should respectfully give it to her." She unknowingly mumbled the last part a little louder, "Besides, I don't want a repeat from my previous mistakes."

"Don't be crazy!" Her brother chided loudly. "It wasn't your fault." Vivek pressed disapprovingly, "I clearly remember what were the terrible conditions then and I hope you do too." Samiksha shook her head in plain self-disappointment. "You allowed it to happen only due to Kartik's stubbornness." He pointed, "He was the one who wanted to keep Aryan out of her life since that day in school."

"It wasn't just him. I was greedy to keep him out of her life too." She reflected, "Ruchi didn't break apart from Aryan just due to the unfortunate times. We were a part of it too." Samiksha inhaled the air around her grimly. "Now that I think a little sensibly, none of them deserved the cruelty shown upon them neither by us people nor by their fate."

"What changed suddenly?" He imposed, "Some days ago you weren't eager to have him anywhere near her. Now you're just approving him for Ruchi out of nowhere!!" He exasperated.

"Nothing is out of the blue. Aryan had always been the right one for our Ruchi. I along with Kartik had let our insecurities and fears take over. I don't think there's anybody else who deserves Ruchi more than Aryan. They're the missing halves in each other's lives."

He let out a grated sigh, "So why aren't we telling Ruchi the same?" Vivek implied, "She isn't aware about her past with Aryan and we are still keeping her in the dark. She has no idea that we both know about her marriage with Aryan while the others are still clueless. She doesn't even know that her brother talked shit with you while blaming you for her situation!? Why the fuck are we still pretending to be clueless when we know everything, Samiksha!?"

"She has seen a lot in her life, Vivek." Samiksha promulgated, "She doesn't need other's shit to become hers any more." She reasoned. "Me and Kartik Batra have had our differences in the past and I don't think that they're ever going to end in future as well. I don't want to burden my best friend with any of the blunders collectively caused by me or her brother." She announced, "So, let it just stay between me and him."

"Ruchi is going to be devastated if she knows the truth someday, Samiksha." Vivek warned her disapprovingly, "She trusts us, dude. She trusts you the most. She doesn't need a betrayal from her friends or her brother either."

"Her life is finally starting to get back on track with Aryan. Nobody should be doing anything to disrupt it." She summarized.

Samiksha's own disordered self didn't want to comprehend the answers to the said questions rightfully posed by Vivek now. She knew Ruchi would be heartbroken but flat-out breaking their silence on her diminished past might raise a lot of self-doubts within herself. Each time when she gathers her will to talk it out with Ruchi her lips fall silent after hearing the babel of her mind.

These days in their lives were turning duller than they already were. Firstly, the engagement was called off due to Aryan's daring intervention only for him and Ruchi to get married later to save themselves from the prying eyes. Yes, the siblings got to know about the change in plans through the medium of Kartik who was distorted. The fact was hard to digest but as a bitter pill taken for a good cause they forcefully swallowed it down their throats.

She was provoked to think that it was for Ruchi's own well being else why would the same guy return in their lives after all these years of keeping them apart and her void of Aryan's identity from the past.

Much later, Samiksha dipped into a rocking chair inside her room with every uncertain thought spilling all over the place. She was sure about never watching this grim day back during those days but it somehow occurred in reality. And just like Kartik she too was forced to be transported back in the biting past.

The very day Ruchi got unconscious in the school premises, Kartik was summoned by their teachers who suddenly got to know about Aryan during unfortunate circumstances. The school involved her guardians later to discuss Ruchi's rugged condition. Sujal and Mamta didn't trust the said school authorities with her safety anymore and hence they decided to get her admitted into a new school that promised their kids a better environment to grow and flourish. Samiksha and Vivek changed their school as well to be with the Batra kids while Aryan had disappeared from the face of earth.

Samiksha couldn't reach out to him either due to the lack of his address or any contact information. Another month or two passed with each of them adopting the new normal in their routine when a letter came at Batra house addressed to Ruchi. No one else was home so Kartik himself collected it from the postman. There was no way he could believe that anyone would've sent this letter for his sister from a foreign land. The curiosity got the better of him and he tore open the envelope to check for the person. She still remembered the first few lines from it by heart.

Dear Baby,

I am so so very sorry. I made you cry. I hurt you. I acted like a bad boy. Please forgive me for my mistake.

That was all Samiksha could read before Kartik snatched the paper from her hands and tore it apart into innumerable pieces. The literal guilt and pain behind his words seeped through her mind but Ruchi didn't know any of it. The person who it was supposed to reach could never get it because her brother and bestfriend kept them away from her. She didn't remember him anymore and it went for years until the day their college life started and Aryan Mallik came in front of them once again. He tried to reach them but his every attempt went futile because neither of them were the same girls he met a decade ago. She didn't know whom to blame anymore? Was it Kartik or she herself?

The reckless hustle and bustle in the room distracted Samiksha as Ruchi appeared from the washroom. She hurriedly threw the wet towel on the bed and ruggedly pleated her hair in an ungroomed bun unaware of her best friend's presence in the room and was ready to leave when Samiksha interrupted her in the way.

"Where are you going?" She posed in confusion.

"You're here." Ruchi mumbled in a dilemma, "I need to leave." Her tone laced in unmeasured frenzy. "I need to go back."

"Where? Why?" Samiksha wasn't sure about what she heard. "Where will you go back?"

"Give me some money. I don't have any cash with me right now." Her voice had a strange pitch that didn't go unnoticed by the latter, "Please!"

"Where will you go?" Samiksha wasn't convinced by her request, "Wait-" Her eyes widened, "Are you going to your house? Your dimwit father is there! Do you want to go there?"

"No!! I'm not going to him." Ruchi's voice raised in fury. "I don't think that I have it in me anymore." She highlighted. "I need to be somewhere else and please don't ask me any questions right now. I'll tell you soon. Please, abhi ke liye mujhe bas jaane de."

["Please, just let me go for now."]

"How can I let you go out alone, huh?" Samiksha spelt out her worry through her words, "Wait for a while. Let your brother reach here till the evening-" She watched Ruchi who shook her head, "It's already late, Samiksha." The way she used her name alerted her, "I should've done it before but I want to hear the end of it now. I'm done waiting for the world to answer my questions on their own. I need to find them for myself by any or every means. I've always sat in the back seat while my entire life has been driven around by someone else. I don't want to continue being dumb. I want the wheel of my life back in my hands so that I can find a direction that's actually meant for me."

"I'm not stopping you or anything but please just wait for a while or take me wherever you want to go." Samiksha tried to make her understand among her own clouded head. "I don't want to leave you alone-"

"Samiksha, let me do this alone." Ruchi came forward and clutched her hands, "Please!" Her soft voice glitched in pain and pleading. "It will destroy me some more if I wait any longer." The chimes of vulnerability ringing in her words. "It's killing me already because I don't have any answers to those deafening allegations in my head whose answers I need the most for my sanity."

Samiksha was momentarily impaired by the unmoving resolution swirling in her translucent gaze amidst the traces of pure naked emotions quelling her will to question her unknown move. She didn't know if her assumptions were true but she had a slight inkling that this situation had something to do with Aryan. Thousands of ideas rushed inside her as she moved away from Ruchi who was still looking at her hopefully.

"Go. I won't stop you but-" She said, "Then embrace the truth the way it is instead of failing again in a ditch of denial."

"I will."

🖤🖤🖤

"Thanks for the ride." Ruchi conveyed her sincere gratitude as soon as she got out of the shared cab. She wasn't able to catch any public transport once she got out from Samiksha's place, who was partially skeptical about her demand. She somehow ended up taking up a cab that was already hired. Unfortunately, the passenger in the cab had an overly distinct face and she was forced to believe that her life was a shitty example of coincidence for it was Aakash Cheema she got to face again.

As composed as she could've tried to be she incontinently weaseled out of the cab she stopped in urgency and searched for some other means of transport to reach her much needed destination. But sadly there was nothing to help her except taking up her to-be ex-fiancé's offer to share the cab with him or wait hours. She stuck to her motto of staying aloof and distanced throughout the time with only her mission on her mind and a certain rich black-eyed guy living on her heart.

But now that she has reached her destination Aakash too stepped out and much to her surprise he asked the very cab driver to leave as well. She wanted to go inside but the man in front of her had some other plans.

"I'm your close friend, Ruchi." He perceived. "I also know the situation you were into and the consequences that forced you to get married to that reckless boy." Aakash coursed snottily. "I myself wouldn't have allowed you to get hitched with that bastard if I had known! I was ready to marry you that day and even today." Ruchi's swollen eyes widened at his sharp claim, "Rest assured that any given day you leave him, I'll be willing to marry you."

Her lips were glued in disbelief so she simply thought to take her leave from here. "Alright then, goodbye!" As she pushed her feet to turn but staggered back when he latched his palm on her arm all of a sudden.

Ruchi was shocked at first because it instantly made her uncomfortable and repulsed. If her trials to adapt to his actions in the past was difficult then seeing him getting intolerantly touchy with her now was nauseating. The biggest reasons for her to avoid him had come now handy. She fully regretted her decision of traveling here alone with him now.

She hoped that she didn't hint at him for anything more while agreeing to his offer to pool the car with him. He was persistent all the while if she was behaving desperate to reach Gulmohar.

She didn't want Aakash to waste his effort, time or expectations on her because she believed that he definitely had a great life waiting for him ahead, also a great partner which wasn't her and before he would end up misunderstanding her gestures for something else she needed to definitely make him understand. She needed to draw the lines before he thinks there is more to the possibility of them because she had never been truly invested into him from day one and he also knew it well.

"Aakash, I-" Her mind troubled while trying to fetch out the right words that could make her point valid without hurting his feelings as he wasn't entirely at fault. "I get that we were planning to be together but it didn't happen. The fault was from my end when things went wrong but I would never want to see you hung upon me anymore, Aakash." She uttered somehow, "Even if there are some unwanted instances occurring in my new life. I wish to deal with them myself-"

"What if I want to help you and maybe wait for the appropriate time to be the right one for-" He cut me off and loomed closer but she stepped back narrowly missing his aim to hold her again.

Since the day of her marriage she dreaded this talk hoping it doesn't come up in between them. When Aakash assured that they could remain friends she was somewhat convinced but maybe it would've been better if this ended then and there. She thought that maybe this leftover conversation was the cause of his surging hopes for which she would be termed selfish if her silence was misleading him.

"No, Aakash!" Ruchi necessitated in conviction, "You aren't perceiving my point here. My problems are solely mine and not yours to solve. You shouldn't wait for me. Not in the faith that I'd return to you fed up with living a pointless marriage with my husband because I won't. I won't end this relationship just to get into another one, Aakash."

He visibly battered after hearing her but Ruchi continued with her locus trying to end his brewing feelings for her at once and all because Aakash was being delusional while peeping for a relationship in the hollow pits of her fate which was bleak since the start and nobody else could change it and even if someone could then it wasn't him either way.

"I will never be the one for you. Not now or even in the future." She affirmed. "Please! Move on from an emotionally unavailable individual like me before you hurt yourself further by involving yourself with me. Please, Aakash!" Ruchi requested him unflinchingly. "Don't do this to yourself."

"Do you love someone?" He questioned her instead, "Or do you already love the man you married-" He didn't hesitate with his words anymore, "Married willingly, I may say?" He deemed making sense to his own perception, "This whole ordeal makes sense to me now. You clearly played your father, your family and me to get married to your rich loverboy." He described his far-fetched theory, "Yeah, definitely that's the case." Aakash shouted, "C'mon, tell me! Didn't you?"

Ruchi was stunned by the change in his carriage. She was still a pathetic one in his eyes. He didn't change his stance on her circumstances since the engagement night but patted them down for a short while. His question pinched her dignity but who was she to correct him or anyone else who asked her this, be it her inclement father or mephitic aunt. They perceived her characterless and saw her as their culprit who humiliated their namesake relations without an ounce of guilt. But was she really selfish or heartless or guilty?

Ruchi never intended on making the things go drastic or break anyone's trust and respect that was associated with her. Be it falling for a rich guy, kissing him or marrying him; she did nothing on purpose. Neither to hurt her father nor Aakash in the process who were superficially affected by her deeds. She didn't do it intentionally. She wasn't their wrongdoer but still they made her feel like it anyway.

"You're definitely one cunning girl, Ruchi." He laughed miserably being blinded by his own anger, "You used me so smoothly that I could never doubt your actions. Never point out why you never appreciated me while I poured every effort to prove my worth to you." He blamed her without any second thoughts, "You know what? It's good that you gave me a reality check before I'd run behind someone like you who is blinded by luxuries." His eyes burning the mansion behind her through his loathsome gaze, his tone awful. "But, trust me! You're never going to be happy with him."

Ruchi's throat unwantedly choked up hearing his crude words laced with hatred but nothing came out of her mouth. She wanted to yell out at him to justify her innocence that contradicted his agonizing claims. She wanted to tell him that her motive was pure just like her heart and it was for his own good that she asked him to stop pursuing her but how could she dare explain him when he was being resolute? Or was her begging going to lessen his hate for her? The answer was a big no. He had already assumed her as his criminal and not a single word of hers was going to stand in front of his misunderstanding.

"Gold-diggers like you can never be happy." He advertised. "Now, get going fast else who knows your rich husband might be fuckin' some other much more desirable and capable chick behind your back." He spit venomously. "Go!!" He slammed his hands in the air making Ruchi hunch back in fear, "Get lost from my sight!"

"Madam!" The security guard of the estate charged at them, probably sensing the commotion, "Is everything fine, Madam?" He inquired doubtfully as he looked between his mistress and Aakash.

"And here comes your bought servants!" Aakash scoffed, "Hard-earned millions wasted by Mallik's for a money-minded woman!" His rough statement caused her to flinch again.

"Control your mouth, mister! You're standing and talking with the owner of this place. Shall I send him away, Madam?" The guard warned him and asked her but Ruchi chose to intervene and not make it difficult for Aakash because Mallik's were very peculiar about their reputation and this was a scene outside their property. He will be handed over to the cops in the worst case of trespassing and abuse. "I will be fine, Uncle." She mumbled and looked back at Aakash to say, "I'm going away inside and you should leave too from here, Aakash."

"Definitely you should leave, Madam!" Aakash's sarcastic voice came, "Hope to never see your face again but definitely count on me if your billion-dollar husband gets bored and decides to get rid of you." He thoroughly abused her before leaving the space.

Ruchi felt humiliated and belittled because she couldn't speak a word in her defense. Never in her wildest dreams did she think that Aakash would turn out like this. It was like he wasn't the guy who she was someday ready to marry. He felt like someone else who didn't see her as anything more than a self-centered manipulator.

Now that she has seen the ugly faces of her cruel preparators, and has tolerated way enough nonsense thrown in her way she has grown determined to get this misery to end from her life for the final time now.

She was done and done for good.

Lots of Love,

ANKITA