Chapter Thirteen
A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed, and for all of your input about my new story! Anyways, a lot of this chapter is touchy feely stuff between Loki and Samantha, about them getting all of their feelings out, most likely in a screaming match. Well, here it is; the next chapter of Complicated.
! #$%^
I crossed my arms over my chest, watching silently as Loki struggled to get up. He didn't look to be badly harmed, just some minor scratches, all of which he probably deserved. No. He didn't probably deserve it, he did deserve it. I needed to stop being so nice to him. What did he ever to for me that was nice? All he ever did was ruin my life!
I walked over to where he was still struggling to get up off of the floor, and held out a hand. Loki looked at it for a second, trying to decide whether or not to accept it, before finally taking it. Once he was up, I let go of his hand, and did something I never thought I would do.
I pulled my hand back, and punched a god in the face.
Loki practically flew to the side from the power packed in the punch, obviously caught off guard, and I didn't feel the least bit sorry for him. My hand was hurting, but I knew that all of the pain was worth it. And I couldn't help but feel a small sense of satisfaction when I saw him rubbing his sore jaw.
"That was for Clint." I spat the words out at him.
For a second there, I almost cracked at seeing Loki's seemingly broken expression, but then flashes of my brother being under his control passed through my mind, and images of Phil speaking his last words haunted my consciousness.
I just barely kept my cool, and instead of punching him again, I shoved him as hard as I could. This time, however, he barely moved an inch. Damn him and his stupid god strength…
"Samantha…" He spoke my name, and just the way he said it sent cold shivers down my spine. How could he do that to me? How? I straightened my back, and tried to sound confident.
"No," I said. "You don't get to do this to me! You don't get to come into my life and stomp around on my feelings like this. Ever since you popped into my life, it has been nothing but a living hell for me! You killed people I worked with; you took over my brother's mind! You don't care about anyone else but yourself and your stupid mission! God damn you, Loki!" I was yelling by this point, and tears were threatening to spill over.
"And why? What sick satisfaction do you get from seeing me break like this?" I whispered, trying to stay calm, but failing horribly. I couldn't do this. The tears fell, and I tried to hold in the sobs.
Loki frowned and moved closer to me, holding a hand to my cheek. I leaned into his hand, amazed at how his touch made me feel so much better. Realizing what I was doing, I slapped his hand away with unnecessary force. He looked down at the floor for a few moments, then back up at me.
"I get no satisfaction from seeing you in pain, Samantha." He said like it was the simplest thing in the world. As if asking me why I could have ever thought it up in the first place, it was that absurd. I grimaced, and backed away from him, moving across the room.
"How do you do that? Manipulate me? How can you crawl into my head and say all of these things, make me feel like I would die for you, and then claim to have no attachment to me at all!" My voice rose in volume, partially because of the sounds of battle blaring outside of the Tower, and partially because I was getting very, very angry.
Loki shook his head, and tilted his head.
"Have I ever told you, or anyone else, that I had no attachment to you?" He asked.
I screamed in frustration.
"There you go again, Loki! You make me feel horrible, you make me feel sorry for yelling, and above all, you make it seem like I'm the bad guy here!" I shouted.
Loki shook his head at me.
"You could never be the villain, Samantha. You're far too good for that. Too pure to ever attempt to be the 'bad guy' in any situation," He crossed, moving towards the opposite side of the room, his back to me.
I tried to stop myself, but I could help but blurt it out.
"Pure? How the hell am I pure?" I laughed, and shook my head. There was no way that I was pure; I was the opposite of that, if he hadn't noticed by now. I mean, I was brash and bold, stupid and quick to anger. I thought with my fists, and didn't care about the consequences. I was even childish and naïve. How did any of that equal pure in his mind?
Loki turned to face me.
"You are… my light in the middle of all this darkness. Cliché, I realize, but what other phrase could I use to describe you?" He spoke, and gazed at me with such intensity that I nearly collapsed to the floor.
"You are the most beautiful creature I have ever laid eyes on, you are braver than any sane being should be, and more than capable to understand me and what I have been through. Never have I met someone who would take me in with such open arms, even after I destroyed their life more than once. You were able to understand my feelings, able to forgive me for my multitude of sins, and after all of the things I have put you through," He looked up at me, and I could see him puzzling over something.
"You loved me." He said, and was still looking at me like I was some sort of mystery. I flushed slightly under his stare, and looked away.
"Yeah, well, I don't want to," I glanced over at him. "I want to make that very clear to you right now. I don't want to love you. I want to hate you, I want to be able to look at you and see a monster who murdered more of my friends than I can bear to count," I said.
Loki nodded, understanding.
"I do not wish to feel this way, either. If I had my way, I would be able to look at you and see a foolish mortal whose life I could throw away without a second thought." He said, pondering over his words after he spoke them.
I pulled a strand of my light brown hair behind my ears, and studied him as he stared at the ground. His long black hair was stilled slicked behind his head, and his beautiful green eyes were flickering back and forth between something on the floor.
"But is that really true?" I asked him, knowing that he didn't really wish to be this way. "Maybe there's a part of you that wants to be the man you were before you were twisted into this. I know that all you want is to be loved. By your father. By Thor. By anyone, really. You just wanted someone to notice you," I spoke.
Loki looked over at me, startled by my words.
"Well, Loki, you have everyone's attention now," I held out my hands. "Everyone's focused on you, and they sure as hell don't feel any love for you. But Thor still loves you; your father still loves you. Hell, I still love you. You have all these people who would be by your side, if you didn't do all of these awful things!" I said, trying to make him realize that he didn't need to do any of this to make people love him.
Loki looked down at the floor once again, thinking over my words.
"It's too late now," He finally spoke up, nodding his head. He glanced up at me, his stare boring into my own.
"And I wouldn't have it any other way."
I took in his words, and knowing that nothing I said would make him change his mind, I nodded back at him.
"Alright," I said, walking towards him. He looked down at me, and gulped. I couldn't tell if he was nervous, or just upset.
I didn't care.
I reeled back my hand, and punched him hard in the face once again.
Loki didn't fly back as far this time, as some part of him was probably expecting the blow to happen, but god damn it, it better have hurt.
"That one was for Phil…"
I shot him one last look, and headed for the elevator, ready for anything.
A/N: Okay, so I know that it's a short chapter, but I wanted to get it out as soon as possible.
-Sara <3
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