Jungkook's POV-

As soon as I saw Jin lock eyes on Tae and Jimin I knew what was going to happen, and I wasn't prepared.

I saw the realization hit him. He figured out I didn't know he was here. Whether he knew I was going to be here I wasn't sure yet, but when our eyes met I knew he saw the shock I was trying to keep away from my expression.

Luckily I was more prepared for his appearance this time around. I kept my face nuetral. Under control.

As soon as his eyes moved off of me though, I let out an audible sigh of relief.

I didn't care about Tae and Jimin getting yelled at (they should get their asses kicked for the shit they've pulled) what I cared about was being left alone with Namjoon.

All of this suppressed anger and hurt was now dangerously close to the surface. One more push and I will lose it.

But... I didn't want to.

As much as he hurt me, I didn't want to hurt him. Didn't want to fight with him. He was my big brother.

As soon as I saw Jin round the corner towards the kitchen with the two idiots close behind I was out the door, not even bothering to close it behind me. I had to leave as quickly as possible.

Half the distance to the sidewalk I heard a shaky voice call out, asking me to stop. Asking me to please talk to him.

My heart clenched when I heard the unsteadiness in his voice.

He sounded so different from the confident, well spoken teenager who was much wiser beyond his years that I knew.

I don't know why I did it. It was almost as though my heart reacted before my mind could, but I did what he asked.

I stopped.

I heard him coming closer and I stayed where I was.

He came into my peripheral vision and that's when I saw the slight shine on his cheeks.

I turned my head to face him fully and slowly moved my eyes from his cheeks to meet his eyes.

I knew his eyes were a reflection of my own. They seemed to hold the same weight and emotions as I was feeling.

The sight made me want to hug him. Wanted to make him feel better.

Maybe even walk to a park with him like we used to, find a bench where we can sit to talk over our problems and come up with solutions together.

I always loved how well we worked through problems, but it's not the same.

Even though this face and these eyes staring back at me feel the same pain, the same loss, the pain wasn't inflicted the same way.

We didn't get damaged fighting together, side by side like comrades in arms.

We got hurt because we ended up being on opposite sides of the battle and an afternoon in a park isn't going to have the power to mend our wounds like it used to.

These issues are much more complex than any previous obstacles we had and I am a different Jungkook. One that was hurt by someone I trusted with my deepest secrets.

Someone I had shared all of my thoughts and struggles with who I trusted to keep them safe to instead have him disregard my feelings knowing full well how his actions would destroy me.

Finally I couldn't take the silence, so I simply stated, "I'm going on a walk. Tell them not to worry" before taking a few steps to get past him, leaving the yard to walk up the sidewalk towards the way we came into the neighborhood.

Namjoon's POV-

Jungkook left five minutes ago.

Since then I've been sat on the top step of the porch with my eyes fixed in the direction he disappeared, hoping it would be a short walk.

It's starting to get a bit cold as the sun drifts behind the clouds though and he's still gone.

As I continue to stare up the street my mind drifts to where it usually goes when I'm feeling down like this. When something reminds me of him that causes me to remember the past.

For years all I have been able to remember are when things changed. When they went wrong. When I ruined our relationship.

When I lost my friend.

I have to really make an effort to remember the beginning. To remember the good.

We met when I moved to Busan on an exchange program and I stayed with he and his mother.

Mrs Jeon was so welcoming but Jungkook took some warming up to at first.

Well, I liked him quickly. It was him who needed to warm up to me.

One of my fondest memories I have of our time together, the moment I would say our friendship began, was the night I saw him in the backyard laying on a blanket, staring up at the stars.

I had been there for a little more than a week at that point and we had yet to have an actual conversation. Our interactions were mostly just me asking a question or two and him giving one word answers in return, if he said anything at all.

Knowing this would probably be the case again, I still decided to take a seat next to him.

At first we didn't speak and I eventually ended up laying down beside him, arm propped under my head, the same way he was laying.

After a few more moments of silence I noticed he was drumming his fingers anxiously on his chest. He was thinking of something but was hesitating about it.

Not long after he seemed to have found the courage to voice his thoughts as he threw his hand with his pointer finger extended and pointed out a constellation to me.

He told me it was his favorite because he loved the story of the hero and began to recite the mythical story to me.

I was in complete awe that he was sitting here sharing something he likes with me, even going so far as to want to educate me about it.

As he told me the fable that went along with the stars but I had noticed he left out one rather important detail.

I hesitated to say anything as I didn't want to come off as me trying to show off or make him feel bad in any way for missing the detail in the story, but I took a chance and pointed out as gently as I could that there was a missing part.

He sat silent for what felt like an hour and then the light bulb went off, his face visibly brightening as he remembered what he'd missed.

He let out an excited "Oh yeah!" before proceeding to repeat the latter section of the story, making sure to include the part he previously left out.

He was impressed that I knew the Greek myth that went along with the constellation and wanted to know if I knew the stories for any other constellations he had come to like but didn't know much about.

He pointed out a few more of his chosen favorites, two of which I did know about, and I proceeded to tell him the names as well as the stories that went along with them.

It was absolutely adorable the way his eyes shined so brightly. The wonder in them made him look even more innocent as he hung on my every word.

That was the moment I came to the realization that this boy was special and I wanted to not only protect him but stick by him.

I wipe the tear I feel escape my eye as I let out a shaky breath.

I'm still sat on the porch staring aimlessly at the sidewalk while recalling the past as a cold chill runs through my body.

I look up at the sky to see that the sun has gone behind a large dark cloud that isn't allowing any of it's rays to break through and warm my goosebump covered arms.

I sit up a little straighter as I remember that earlier I had been loading boxes into the backseat of Jinnie's car and don't think I locked it.

Hoping this was the case I stand to make my way over to the driveway where the car is. Once there, applying slight pressure to the door handle, it clicks open so I can climb inside.

I take a seat on the passenger side, thankful that now at least I will be able to relive my happy memories as well as dissect my failures in a slightly warmer environment.

After I close the door I see myself in the side view mirror and notice that more tears have escaped my eyes than I'd realized so I wipe them away.

Every time I recall that memory my heart is full but it also breaks a little more. It was such a real and rather simple moment we shared, yet still managed to leave a large impression on me. It's one of many memories that meant and still means the world to me.

Although I still hold these moments from the past dearly to my heart, they are still over shadowed by the memories of how I betrayed his trust and shattered his.

He was one of my biggest supporters and I wanted so much to be better for him. A rock that he could depend on, which he did wholeheartedly until I ruined it. I ruined it for my own selfishness.

Everything that happened brought me Jinnie and I could never regret finding him.

What I do regret is that I didn't find another way to get my happiness without losing my little brother.

I am taken out of my thoughts when I see movement from the porch out of the corner of my eye. It is my Jinnie walking across the yard towards the car.

I try to wipe my nose and dry my eyes to make myself more presentable but as soon as he opens the door and looks at me I can see the hurt and the misdirected anger in his expression.

He thinks Jungkook made me cry but he's wrong. I broke Jungkook's heart. It's my fault.

I did this to myself.