Jungkook's POV-

The more I spoke with Yoongi the more memories, as well as feelings, that I had been suppressing and avoiding thinking about came flooding back.

The memories of how unstable I felt. How lost I was.

Thinking about this made me realize something I don't think I've ever really thought of.

I've been so busy holding on to my hurt feelings and resentment, but these memories make me remember the denial I was in.

How I was so ashamed of what I was feeling. How alone I felt, until Namjoon came along.

I was so upset and confused and he was the one who helped me.

After what happened with Jin, of course he wasn't just going to stand by and let him get away with hurting me. We meant too much to each other to let anyone mis-treat the other without repercussions.

I want to know how it happened. Why Namjoon started talking to him at all.

I don't think he just woke up one day and ran away with Jin. I have a feeling Namjoon sought him out because of me.

With this in mind I asked Yoongi to see if Namjoon was at the company or when he would be there so I could talk to him.

I want to talk to Jin too, eventually, but I need to speak to Namjoon first.

Yoongi got him on the line, informing him that I wanted to talk to him before handing the phone to me.

Namjoon's POV-

*KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK*

Oh God. He's here.

My heart hasn't stopped pounding since our phone call. I'm so unbelievably anxious.

I can't believe I finally might be able to explain what happened. Explain how things turned out the way they did. This is what I've been wishing for, but now that he is actually ready to talk, I am worried I'll freeze up again. That I won't be able to get my words out.

"Remember, he doesn't hate you." I say under my breath as I stand up from my chair, wiping my sweaty palms on my pants as I walk towards the door.

I open it to see sweet, grown up, JK.

As soon as I see him standing there with his shy smile my body seems to relax. My heart is still beating rapidly, but I don't feel quite as anxious.

"I'm so happy to see you." I say as I step to the side. "Please come in."

"Thank you." He says a timidly as he walks past me.

I close the door and turn to see him walking towards my bookshelf. To where our picture is.

"Is this the picture Yoongi saw?" I hear him ask while still facing the shelf.

I walk up next to him. "Yes. I have had it in every studio I've had since I came to the company, so he has seen it many times. The other day was the first time he's ever actually asked about it though."

He nods in acknowledgment, eyes still on the picture.

"Why do you move it with you? Why do you keep it out?" He asks as he picks up the frame to look a little closer at it.

"You were one of my biggest supporters when I told you about my dream..." I murmur as I look at the picture.

"I still support you."

"You do?" I ask, turning my attention to him. "What do you mean?"

"I have all of your songs downloaded and memorized. I also have a hard copy of your mixtape. I never stopped supporting you." He says softly before smiling up at me. "I recently watched your performance videos and your music videos. You are amazing!

"I'd only ever listened to the songs, never seen them performed or the videos you did for them but they are amazing. I was so proud of you. I am so proud of you."

I am smiling widely at him as my eyes begin to water. "I always hoped you would hear me."

"Of course I'd hear you. You were my favorite person to listen to. To learn from..." his smile starts to slip as he turns his attention back to the frame as he sets it back on the shelf. "W-what happened?"

My anxiety creeps back in at his words. It's time to talk.

"Why don't we take a seat." I motion towards the couch. He takes a seat there and I bring my desk chair over to sit across from him.

It's silent as he is leaned forward with his elbows on his knees looking at the ground, while I drum my fingers on my thigh as I try to think of a way to start. But he beats me to it.

"You helped Jin. Didn't you."

I'm taken back by the words. It was so sudden and he is asking about Jin directly? About me, helping him?

"What?"

"After I came home that day and told you what happened you were livid. I've never seen you that mad. I don't think you knew, but I saw you trying to find him at Tae's house.

"I would watch you pound on the door and see how annoyed Tae's mom would be when she would see you there again day after day looking for him. But eventually you did find him. Right?"

"Yes. I was on my lunch break and went to a diner he happened to be at at the same time. It was close to the photography studio as well as the school."

"And you helped him."

"I-I don't know what you mean..." I say with a puzzled look.

I don't understand. Help him? Helped him do what?

"That's what you do. You help people. You help people through hard times and help them figure out answers to their problems. You were looking for Jin to talk to him about what he did that hurt me.

"You wanted to understand what happened in order to help me, right? To hear his side of what happened to help you understand the situation from both sides in order to help me."

I'm looking at him with my mouth agape.

Where did this JK come from? When did he become so observant and wise?

"Yes. I wanted to know what he said and why he said it. I also wanted him to know how much what he said hurt you. I wanted to make him see things from your perspective as well. I wanted him to apologize to you. Even if I had to force him."

Tears start to fall from his eyes as he continues. "I'm guessing he explained why he said those things and you helped him. You helped him like you helped me because he was confused, just like I was.

"He was avoiding and suppressing what he was feeling just like me. Every emotion that you helped me try to work through is what Jin was going through too."

My tears start to fall as well. "I wanted to be mad at him. I wanted to yell at him and make him understand how he hurt you. How he shattered your vulnerable heart when he reacted the way he did. But when I heard him speak-

"When I heard him say almost word for word that he was going through the same struggle you were, I couldn't be mad. I saw how hard you were on yourself and I was able to help you feel even just a little better so I wanted to help him too.

"It didn't all start at once. You have to understand," I go on to explain. "I never started talking to him because I was interested in him like that. I didn't even know him!

"I only knew what you would say about him. It wasn't until I saw him that day that we started talking."

"I understand," Jungkook comments quietly.

I gulp. "T-that wasn't our only lunch. After that first day there was a lot to talk about with what happened with you but then it turned into me hearing more about his struggle. I just saw that he needed someone and I thought I could help him."

"When you did talk about me, did he tell you what he said to me?"

"Yes- but he also explained to me how panicked he was and how he was so distraught. He wasn't ready to accept himself. He was trying to be someone else. I probably would have acted irrationally as well in his situation. I think anyone would have. It wasn't his fault, he was just scared. He didn't mean it. It all just slipped out."

He was looking at me as I spoke but the more I said the more upset he looked.

Now the room is silent, as he has returned his eyes to his lap like before, but now he is clenching his hands into tight fists at his sides.

The only sounds are his sniffling every few seconds until he speaks slowly.

"So, you know he told me I was disgusting and that he would never be interested in me or any guy? That he would rather die than be that way and I should be ashamed of myself? That he never wanted to see me again and that people like me are unnatural and shouldn't exist? That I shouldn't exist?"

My eyes are wide and I can't speak. Hot tears are streaming down my face.

Jin didn't tell me that. Any of that.

He told me he told JK he never wanted to see him again. That he overreacted and said hurtful things, but not that. Nothing like that.

"It doesn't seem like he told you all of it." He laughs dryly, tears still hitting his cheeks.

"How long had you two been dating before I saw you that day?"

"S-seven months..." I manage to whisper.

I can't believe this. Why wouldn't Jin tell me? Why did he keep that from me all this time?

My eyes snap back to JK as he starts to speak.

"I wasn't just upset that you were with him. It was devastating that you were the guy he was with, but you weren't the hyung that obliterated what was left of my heart that day." He sniffles before a sob finally breaks through.

"Can you imagine seeing the first guy you ever admitted to liking, the same guy who didn't just reject you but made you want to end yourself, walking hand in hand with another guy after he told you that you should be ashamed of yourself for wanting to do that with him?

"To see him kiss a guy so openly after he called you disgusting when you did it?" He says between muffled sobs as he holds his face in his hands.

I don't know what to say.

We both sit as the tears stream down our faces until he stands up abruptly and leaves the room.

Before the door has even shut behind him I bring my head to my hands and begin to sob.

How would I have felt in his shoes?

To be so confused about your feelings, then to have the person you have them for reject you by telling you you're disgusting and unnatural, just to see them months later holding hands and obviously feeling the same way you felt about them for someone else? For another guy?

I would think that it must not have been my feelings he was disgusted by, but the fact that I was the one feeling that way for him.

That he thought I was disgusting, not the fact that I liked boys was.

I start to remember some of the talks JK and I had. He would ask me if anyone would ever like him. Ask if he was unloveable. If he should just give up.

I would assure him over and over that he was worth so much more than he could ever imagine.

That if anyone didn't like him it was their loss and he would find someone so much better to love him and cherish him like he deserves.

I spent so much time trying to build him back up so he could love himself just to be the one to assist in obliterating his self esteem later.

If I were in his shoes, seeing the guy who told me he would never like guys hand in hand with one would be a confirmation to me.

A confirmation that everything I thought about something being wrong with me was true.

That my feelings aren't unnatural, I am.

That other people shouldn't be ashamed of their feelings, but I should.

That it isn't disgusting for other guys to like Jin, he just thought I was. 

He wasn't just upset that he saw Jin with me. He was upset that he saw Jin with a guy at all.