So my school held a parent-teacher confrontation today, and I was pretty nervous.

I knew about my grades. As a (forced) science class student, obviously, I failed all science subjects- Physics, Chemistry, and Biology. But, it's not like I'm terrible at it. I got pretty okay marks for an artistic student- 20 onwards. Plus, my additional maths have improved. But I still failed.

I was happy with my results, for ice passed what I have to pass, and I've done pretty average. But, I'm VERY sure that my father and my grandparents wouldn't accept my results. So, I had no choice but to call my mother.

My class teacher said I've done pretty well, though. She said that I've given my best, but still I failed, cuz I can't help it. I have an artistic and creative mind. She forgave me for that, and so did my mother- whom I've gradually warmed up to, but still held a grudge for what she did at the past.

We confronted a counsellor. She said its okay to get such results. And she advised me to work a little harder to at least pass my science subjects, or give my all. I nodded and we waited for my brother, Eugene to finish his classes.

My mom suggested we tell my dad about my results, and at least if he knew about them now, he'll be less mad a little later as he'll calm down gradually. I was afraid. I knew how he'd react to my results. He'll be SUPER mad. He excelled in all the subjects I failed. I told my mom that I'm scared that he'll scold me, like a LOT. My mom said that she'll try to calm him down.

Well, as I expected, my dad wasn't impressed.

He BOOMED at me. He said,"That's what you get when you didn't study. I'll buy some workbooks and I'll find you a teacher who'll teach you PERSONALLY."

I was traumatised, I was furious, I almost lost my mind! With tears in my eyes, and without any hesitation...

I scratched myself, HARD.

My mom was shocked. She tried to stop me but I refused. I said I don't want to face a teacher personally. I'm going to have an aural test next week and I was already nervous enough. Plus, I don't even understand what I'm reading, so it's a waste of money.

My dad said that it's no use crying over spilt milk- and that I was BRAGGING?!? I mean- what the heck?!? I was just speaking my mind- and I didn't even brag about my results, and say that they're good! I just said that I'll still pass my finals even with these results cuz the teacher told me so, and I was relieved.

I cried. HARD. My dad even said that my grandma would be VERY disappointed, and that I should stop torturing myself for I have nothing to gain. In Chinese, I told him that it's my body and he shouldn't worry. I've been doing this almost every single time I lost my mind or I'm furious, but I didn't tell anyone about it. He even said I looked tired as I spent too much time on my phone! Well, I slept early yesterday, and I didn't play my phone that much. I was pretty worried. I read a book about depression, and it stated that people with depression often torture themselves, think about suicide, and they don't like looking into people's eyes as they speak- which everything stated in that book suits me VERY well.

Yep, I even had a compulsory test about it at school, LetiziaChan and I both have severe depression, trauma, and stress.

Guess what- my mom told my grandma once we got home with Eugene. I was very mad and cried again.

Eugene kept comforting me, as he said he couldn't do anything, and that he pitied me. My grandma, in Cantonese, said that I deserved this since I did not study hard.

But, I thought, even if I really tried and studied HARD, I wouldn't even understand what I'm studying! I've done my very best!

This has got to be one of the WORST days of my life!

I- I don't know what to say... Part of me deserved this result, but I'm mostly innocent. I don't know how most of the lazy and laid back student' parents could accept their results- which were WAY worse than mine...no offence.

-DREIMOON , I know how you feel, I've always did... :'(