The Letter

People say demons live in hell.

Well they're wrong, darling.

Because here I am, walking on earth with my wavy hair dancing in the wind, wearing my bloody red lipstick, fitted jeans and six inches high-heeled stilettos. Getting envious stares and deadly glares. Turning heads everytime I'm passing by.

I am the bad girl you'll never wish to meet. I'm someone who gets whatever and whoever she wants, by hook or by crook. I'm not someone who would just sit at one corner and wait for a prince charming or a knight in shining armor as if I was a princess waiting to be swept off my feet. I'm not into fairytales as if everything goes so simple like a child always thought it was.

.

.

.

Or maybe, I was.

Because two years ago, I was a shy and normal girl like you. I used to be a hopeless romantic before I became skeptic and cynical. Two years ago, I am someone who believed that someone would really make my fairytales come true. But that was years ago, before I met HIM. Who would ever forget him?

He's ruthless. He's heartless. He's cruel.

Two years ago, it was his heart that I called 'home'.

It all started from nothing but something we both never expected. I fell, so was he. The only difference, I took it seriously while he treated it as a mere game. Nothing more.

In the end, we became the perfect epitome of the phrase, "sHE beLIevED".

***

Looking at you from a distance, it takes me back in time. I remembered the first time that I saw you. At that moment, I thought of you as the most beautiful girl I had even seen in my life. You have the most beautiful and innocent face that I always wanted to look at. You own those beautiful smiles that even in my dreams, I still longed to see it. You have the most beautiful hair I always wanted to touch. You have the kindest heart, the most beautiful eyes, nose, lips...Everything about you for me, is beautiful. But I am so scared of holding and having someone as beautiful as you. I am afraid that I might not be the best for you. I don't know why I'm doing this...but I miss you always, my princess.

-Invisible Guy

I smiled, a bitter one. Call me skeptic but I tend to scoff at such cheesy lines.

Siguro kung gaya pa din ako ng dati, baka kinilig na ako nang sobra. I used to be that girl who would say, "Handa akong halikan lahat ng palaka sa mundo mahanap lang ang prince charming ko."

Yeah, I was that stupid and naïve then.

Though the penmanship looks familiar, I stopped myself from making assumptions. I'm done assuming and expecting a lot. Dahil sa huli, ako lang din naman ang masasaktan. Besides, I've got nothing to do with this. So why bother?

I glanced at the hallway and had a glimpse of a silhouette that I think belonged to someone I knew. 'Imposible 'yun.' I sighed.

I am Ember. My mom said that my name holds enigma and fire. But let's not focus on that. I have this most hated person, Aze.

Azkiel Raze O'Brien...who wouldn't hate him? (Maybe those crazy girls drooling over him.)

Well, everyone except me. Nakakaasar kaya siya. Ungentleman, insensitive, bully, a playboy. At hindi lang 'yan. He was a lot of things, actually. But I can sum it all up in two words: Bad Boy.

That's Aze. A scalawag, a troublemaker and a bad boy. His mere name and existence shouts 'DANGER' and 'TROUBLE'. Kung saan at ano ang bawal, nandoon siya at 'yun ang ginagawa niya.

No doubt about that, though. He's Azkiel. He can bend and break all rules and make his own. The opposite of my ideal guy. But I can't deny, he has that face that could easily break hearts in just a blink of an eye.

He's someone who could make every girl fall effortlessly, without even trying. Someone that girls like me shouldn't meet. Unluckily, he's my kuya's best friend. Minsan nga nasabi ko, "To Aze, falling in love was like seeing a living dinosaur these days, in this era." That's the probability of him to fall in love. So, avoiding him is the best choice if you don't wanna get your heart broken.

But fate has its plans. A trick and a game, a cruel one. Dahil kung sino pa ang taong iniiwasan mo, mismong si tadhana ang gumagawa ng paraan para magkita kayo. Dahil isang araw, sa sobra kong paghahanap at kakasunod kay Yuuji na crush ko at kaibigan din ng kuya ko, anghel ang nakilala ko. A fallen angel or a devil, rather. Tawagin ba naman akong lovesick panda na naging stalker ng frog prince?! Ugh.

You know him. Aze.

He would often use it to blackmail me so he can get what he wants and make me do things I never want and never wished I would. That's why I hated him to the core.

But suddenly, he made my day. He was there when I needed someone to ease my loneliness away. He's the one who came when I needed a shoulder to cry on. He was there when I was so broken and devastated upon my father's death. It's in his arms that I find comfort and warmth.

He came when he wasn't supposed to. When it wasn't supposed to be him. He came at the time that I least expected. And I was so lost to even bother asking why he did. Inalagaan niya ako nang magkasakit ako sa sobrang pagluluksa at depresyon. Natanong ko pa nga siya noon ng "Sino ka? Nasaan ang buwisit na Aze? Ano'ng ginawa mo sa kanya? Hu u, ma mhen?"

Sinagot ba naman ako ng, "Azkiel Raze O'Brien, ang pinakaibig-ibig at pinakagwapong lalaki sa balat ng lupa. I love women. I drink blood. I took care of a damsel in distress." Surprisingly, we both laughed afterwards.

I also began to know him better since that day. I saw his other side and discovered the 'real' him beneath those bad things they (and I) used to describe him. And little did I know, I have already fallen for him. It's too late to realize and to even stop.

Unexpectedly, I fell. Bakit? Simple lang. He treated me the way he never did to other girls. He cared for me and always make me smile on simple things and even by his crazy tactics. Until that day. Oh, curse that day. It was the day after I noticed that he's getting cold to me. Ang araw kung saan inamin ko ang feelings ko sa kanya. I know I shouldn't have but I fearlessly did. So foolish of me.

I still remember what happened that day. I'm crying but he never budged nor even bothered to look at me. I can still remember vividly what his exact words were.

'I'm not the prince for you, li'l girl. They don't exist. Neither does your fairy tales. In fact, I never dreamed to be anyone's Prince Charming in the very first place.'

"W-what...why? Y-you're just joking, right? I thought you cared for me. You did, didn't you?"

"No." What a jerk. I slapped him but he didn't react.

"Wake up, Ember. I just wanna tell you that it's not going to work so we better stop. I never told you that I felt something towards you, stupid girl. Be realistic. Prince charmings don't exist. Scratch those fairytales of yours. Grow up."

"I-I thought you believed me. You even said you'll find me my prince. You promised!"

That's when he looked at me. His eyes were showing mixed emotions before it became stoic.

"You think so childishly. Your brother was right. I'm not the man for you. You don't deserve someone like me. I c-can't---"

"Tell me, Aze. Kahit kaunti ba minahal mo rin ako? O para akong tangang pinaasa mo?"

His eyes went cold. "Ikaw na rin ang nagsabi noon. It was impossible for me to fall in love."

With that, my fantasies and my whole world collapsed.

***

Meeting him was a chance.

Being with him was a choice.

But loving him was something I never knew I can.

Now here I am, trying to mend a broken heart.

Trying to move on but still can't forget.

It's funny, on how I have my own fairytale. What we had was a 'once-upon-a-time' that never had a 'happy-ever-after'. Well, it'll never have one. In fact, it was never a tale to begin with.

"Aze..." I murmured. Kailan kaya darating ang araw na makakalimutan kita? I know, I've changed. In spite of everything, I still love you but I also hate you. And I hate how much I love you.

I sighed. Tiningnan ko ang panibagong papel na natanggap ko. From invisible guy.

18-15-15-06-20-15-16

5:00 PM

Meet me there, princess. I missed you.

I'm sorry.

-1-26-5

I already had an idea about this letter sender. I'm not sure if I'm ready to see him. Pupunta ba ako? I ran towards the school gate only to stop and rushed back towards that place. I ended up going to the rooftop. Walang tao. Aalis na sana ako nang may biglang magsalita. Mukhang naka-lapel 'yun, ah.

"You were fifteen. So young, so fragile, so innocent and talks about princes on fairytales a lot. That's why I knew I'm not someone you'll ever want. You adore him while you hate me. He's your dream guy, I was not. In fact, I was the total opposite." I gasped at the voice.

"Azkiel?" Lumingon ako. He was there looking directly at me.

"While you were busy looking at him, I was also wishing you would look at me the way you did to him. I love you since I can't remember when... Yes, I love you my stupid girl. Those times I spent with you are one of my best memories. But I'm a coward. I'm sorry, I made you cry. I didn't tell you the truth. This foolish guy is in love with you, Ember, princess. I really do and I want you back."

"Why, Aze? I told you I love you but you chose to ignore my feelings."

I cried. Hinawakan niya ang mukha ko at pinahid ang mga luha ko. Gaya ng ginawa niya noon.

"Hush, princess. I never neglected your feelings. I just don't know how to accept it knowing I don't deserve you. How can I? When you're not even mine to begin with. You don't know how happy I was then," he said while looking at my eyes. "But the mere fact that the girl I always knew I could never have told me she loves me; it was just too much for me. I'm happy but scared. I know I don't deserve you. I'll only hurt you. That I could only make you cry. If I take your love, I might just hurt you in the end and I would hate myself if I did. I don't want to hurt you nor to see you cry. You know me, I break hearts without even knowing and I don't wanna break yours. I'm sorry, dahil natakot ako noon. Natakot akong masaktan lang kita."

"Natakot? Bakit tinutukan ba kita ng shotgun noong magtapat ako, ha?! You don't want to hurt me and make me cry? Then make me happy."

"How?" I smiled while my tears fall. But I'm happy. I have heard what I've always wanted to hear from him.

"Don't leave me again. Actually, hearing those words you said earlier are enough to make me happy."

He just looked at me with sparkling eyes and cupped my face. "Invisible guy, huh?"

"Of course. I've been there beside you always. Nasa paligid mo lang ako though you can't see me. I guarded you for years, princess."

Kaya pala pakiramdam ko parang may laging nakatingin sa'kin noon. Tinitigan ko siya at kinunotan ng noo.

"But why are you looking at me like that? I'm not an alien, princess."

"Nothing. Its just that...You've changed. You're the despicable Aze then."

"Right, I changed. A lot. But I'm still the despicable Aze. Still the hot, handsome and gorgeous guy who loves you so much."

I grinned. He's still my Aze. No doubt.

"Yeah, you're still the despicable and cavalier Azkiel I knew. Then, what's the difference?"

"I love you now. I promise that this time, I'll be brave for us. We have each other now. That's all that matters."

He smiled. I stopped myself in running into him and wrap myself in his arms.

"But first, why are you so confident and sure na tatanggapin ulit kita after what you've done?" He smirked. His signature 'smile' that I missed.

"I won't be Azkiel for nothing. You know me. I bend and break rules. My will is the rule. And I would do everything for you to take me back."

"What if I don't take you back?" He approached me and caged me in his arms.

"I won't give up. I would break all rules and bend all reasons until there's nothing left for you not to take me back."

♥♥♥

Love is a simple four-letter word without a precise meaning. It was never explicit, just full of uncertainty. Only those who experienced that kind of feeling can perfectly define it.

In my case, love means learning to give up and risk everything for someone who means the whole world to you. Ember is my everything and I'll make her the happiest girl in this world. I can and I always will. I will do everything just for her to have her own fairytale. I may not be her perfect idea of a prince but I'll make her feel like a princess.

I will make her happy.

~♥~