"So, what are we doing for your birthday?" Sigrid asked me while we were having takeaway at her place. Cedric was there too.

"We can use the frat house and have a party there," Cedric offered.

"Nah, I want a change of decor, I've been spending too much time at the frat house. I'm thinking we could go to a bar, and then to a club? I really want to dance, it's been a while."

"Sounds good. Dress code?"

I snorted. "Fancy dress, obviously."

I was born on October thirty-first, aka Halloween. Every single one of the birthdays I had celebrated had required that the guests wear costumes. My twenty-sixth would follow this tradition.

"Guest list?" Sigrid asked, taking notes on her phone. She was like my personal secretary for my birthday. Always had been. And I always did the same for her. That act of service was worth so much more than any present we could think of.

"Well, you two, and Spencer. Sig, do you want to invite Jeremy?"

It had been a few weeks since she had slept with Jeremy. They were more or less together now, although it wasn't too serious. The boy was cute and treated her well, the plan was for them to see where it went.

"Sure, I'll tell him to join us."

Once upon a time, I had to have a waitlist for my birthday parties. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating, but when I was in college, my Halloween birthday party was the event of the semester. I had tons of friends back then, from my cohort, from my student house, from the cheerleading squad, from the Math Club, from Josh's own social circle. The hardest part about the party was always picking who got to be invited, and who would unfortunately not receive an invitation, due to the limited space.

It was depressing to now live in a time where I had to invite Sigrid's pseudo-boyfriend so that our pathetic party of four looked a bit less pathetic.

"Do you reckon I should extend the invitation to the whole frat house?" I asked. The frat boys weren't all necessarily my friends, but I was friendly enough with most of them.

Sigrid and Cedric looked at each other, then at me. Apparently, I was missing something obvious.

"Abs," Sig volunteered to explain to me what they were both thinking. "You should invite Arthur."

"Why would I do that?" That was not a rhetorical question. What would Arthur do at my birthday party? He knew none of the people who would come, would not want to dress up, and would hate every single second of the time we would spend at the nightclub. Inviting him was the most ridiculous idea.

Like one person again, Sigrid and Cedric both sighed heavily, exasperated.

"Will you stop doing that?" Cedric asked.

"Doing what?"

"Being so oblivious of people's feelings for you, and your own feelings for other people. Of course you need to invite your redhead to your birthday. You've been dating this guy for weeks, now, you have to. Otherwise, he's going to be upset. I don't know, Abs, that's just... common sense!"

"But we're not dating, though."

Again, that was true. Since our first, and only, date at his place a few weeks earlier, our relationship had been purely platonic, if you could even call that a relationship. We had had coffee a couple times during our respective lunch breaks, and we had gone to the monthly dinner party with his college friends again, except this time Toni and Cali had been the ones hosting. Val was there too. The first minutes of that party had been an awkward torture for Arthur, and me by extension. I wasn't ashamed of the amazing night I had had with Val, quite the opposite, and if I had been alone, seeing Val again wouldn't have been a problem. But making Arthur go through the ordeal of hanging out with both me and one of my ex-lovers, who happened to be his best friend, had made me feel second-hand embarrassment. I was also convinced that everyone knew about what had happened, which hadn't helped my feeling sorry for Arthur. Thankfully, alcohol and a long private chat between Val and Arthur had been enough to appease all tensions and we had had a great night overall.

All that to say that, except for those few instances where we'd met in very trivial settings, we had not seen each other, and we had not gone on dates. Arthur had made it clear that he would not date me unless I agreed to fully commit to him. And I had made it clear that commitment was not something I wanted. So yeah, we were not dating. Just hanging out very occasionally, like people who are barely friends.

"Semantics. You're one hundred percent dating, Abs. Everybody can see it," Cedric said, and I turned to Sigrid for support.

"Don't look at me like that," she said, "I'm with him on this."

"Ugh!"

"The point is," she added, "you should invite him. If not as your date, invite him as your friend. Who cares? Nobody's going to ask for the details."

"Fine, I'll tell him to come. I guess I'll invite his friends, too. It might make him more comfortable to be with familiar people."

"That's a good idea," Sigrid approved.

"Maybe leave Val out?" Cedric suggested.

"They're a whole friendship group, I can't just pick and choose who's coming and who's not."

"Well, then make sure to keep your legs closed around him."

This comment earned him a slap on his head from both me and Sigrid.

* * *

I couldn't believe it. Somehow, I had managed to convince Arthur to not only show up for my twenty-sixth birthday, but to show up in a costume. And not just any costume, but a skin-tight singlet that had no sleeves and hit him mid-thigh. It was blue and had the letters UCLA written in gold across his chest: a rowing unisuit. He also wore a matching visor and the most disgusting sunglasses with reflective orange lenses – they were made to protect, not to look cool.

He arrived at the bar with his group of friends, all wearing the same blue and gold, but in various shapes and forms. Val and Nate were wearing football gear, without the helmet and shoulder pads, but with the black face paint, Gus wore the same rowing unisuit as Arthur, Theo and Cali were looking ridiculously hot in their ridiculously short cheerleading uniform, Leo was sporting her basketball jersey and shorts, and Toni was looking adorable in her band outfit.

"You guys look like a walking ad for UCLA sports and societies," Ced greeted them.

They really did. At first, I thought those were all costumes, but when I noticed the vintage feel of those uniforms, and how the fit was off on most of Arthur's friends who had outgrown them, I realized that those were actual UCLA merch, from when they were in college. I had never realized that Arthur was a real rower, and not just somebody who simply did ergs for cardio.

"Happy birthday!" Arthur said to me while I was trying my very best not to ogle his powerful thighs and his very apparent package. "I barely recognized you, it's the first time I see you wearing so much black. And your hair!"

I was dressed as Wednesday Addams, and I didn't take fancy dressing lightly. I had bought black spray paint and dyed my hair black for the night. I prayed to the hair gods for my color underneath to not be permanently stained. Sigrid was dressed as Morticia – she had gone for a wig rather than spray paint – Cedric as Gomez, and Spencer as Lurch. Jeremy was just a plain old zombie.

"Well, I barely recognized you either. That's a lot of lycra. I would have never in my wildest dreams imagined you capable of wearing that in public."

He had an uneasy laugh.

"I wouldn't. But you asked for a costume, so I delivered. Those guys decided to make it a group thing."

I looked at the pack of Arthur's friends and a warm feeling coursed over me. How sweet was it of them to dress in those old uniforms just so that Arthur didn't feel too awkward? That was friendship at its finest.

Before I started dwelling once more about the friends I had lost over the years, I made some quick introductions. Ced and Sig looked at each other mischievously when I said Val's name, and we headed inside the bar once everyone had met everyone and made sure to wish me a happy birthday. The waitress sat us in two adjacent booths to accommodate our party of thirteen.

I sat between Sigrid and Cedric, Arthur sitting in a chair in front of me while we were on the couch. Val was at a healthy distance from me. Sigrid was the first one to pay for a round and ordered three jugs of their Halloween cocktail. It was blood-red, vodka-based, and very sweet. She poured everybody a glass and we all cheersed in my honor. The look on Arthur's face as he struggled to swallow something that sweet was hilarious.

The jugs didn't last long anyway. I was the main contributor, but Sigrid, Cedric, and a few of Arthur's friends were also keen on the beverage. Arthur was the second one to buy drinks for everyone. Instead of getting jugs, which any sane person would do to minimize the costs, he let us all order whatever we wanted. I got a margarita, he got a negroni.

Conversations went on, drinks were had, and then it was time for me to go outside for a smoke. When I asked our tables who would like to join me, Gus surprisingly volunteered. We made our way to the patio in the back of the bar and found a table to sit at. When I took out my tobacco and started rolling, I realized he wasn't taking out anything to smoke whatsoever. I offered to roll a cigarette for him.

"No thanks, I don't smoke."

"Why did you come outside, then?"

"To keep you company."

"You didn't need to do that, I could have gone with a smoker friend."

"That's fine. We've never had the chance to talk just the two of us before, I figured that was a nice opportunity."

Oh. I knew where this was going. And, for once, I could say I was not in the mood. I was there to party, get drunk with my friends, and celebrate my turning twenty-six. I wasn't there to fuck. Especially not with Arthur's friend. Been there, done that.

"Gus, I'm going to stop you right there—"

I didn't have time to stop my sentence that Val had appeared out of nowhere and gratified Gus's head with a slap.

"What do you think you're doing? Get back inside."

Gus didn't protest and left the table, leaving me alone with a Val who sat down opposite me. I shot him a thankful smile. He took out one of his cigarettes and handed me his pack. I put my rollie away and took a straight from him.

"Breaking hearts wherever you go, huh?" Val teased me.

"I would hardly call that breaking anyone's heart. It's your fault he even tried anything."

"My fault? How so?"

"I assume you told him that you and I had a thing? And now he thinks that he can get me too."

"I might have mentioned it... Can you blame me, though? The sex was amazing."

"It was. But if Gus and Nate are waiting in line now, that will make this evening extremely awkward."

He laughed.

"I wouldn't worry about Nate, and I'll make sure Gus doesn't do anything stupid."

"Thanks. Arthur already knows about us and I don't want to make things weirder."

"Yeah, about that..."

"What?"

"I didn't kick Gus out for your benefit, you know? I'm sure you're able to handle him."

"Then why did you do it?"

"I did it for Art."

I clicked my tongue. What was so hard about using a proper name?

"He really doesn't like that name, you know?"

"What? 'Art'?"

"Yeah. He'd much rather you guys called him Arthur."

He smirked at me. "How do you know?"

"He told me."

"Did he, now? Cute."

"Oh, fuck off."

He smirked wider, if possible, and took a long drag of his cigarette.

"Anyway, what I meant to say is that Arthur made it quite obvious to me that he is into you. I don't know if the others have picked up on that, Gus certainly hasn't, but it's a thing now. I thought it was best to let you know."

"Why are you telling me that?"

"Art is—" I glared at him. "Sorry. Arthur is one of my best friends, if not my best friend, singular. I just want to make sure you're not going to break his heart."

"Break his heart how? By sleeping with his best friend, maybe?"

He had a sinister laugh.

"Yeah, not my proudest moment... I didn't know, then. But now I do, and I know you."

"You fucked me once and you think you know me?"

"Let me rephrase. I know you well enough to know about your 'no repeats' rule. And I'm asking you to please be careful with Arthur."

"In what way?"

"If you ever come close to having sex with him, either commit to dating him or don't do it at all. He doesn't do one-night-stands."

"And I don't date," I retorted.

"Then don't sleep together. Honestly, you could easily get with anyone you want. I'm asking you, please don't do that to him."

"What makes you think I'd ever want to sleep with him anyway?"

He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Okay," I admitted, "it might have crossed my mind. But he's not interested."

"Dude, he invited you in his fortress of solitude. He is interested."

"I mean, he might want to date me indeed, but he doesn't want to just have sex with me. We've had this talk already and we agreed to be just friends, if you can even call what we have friendship."

"Sure. His squeezing his body into this ridiculous lycra uniform just to stick to your dress code and making all of us look like fucking morons as well is totally a 'just friends' move. Tell me more about it."

I rolled my eyes and laughed a little. They did look like morons, but in a cute way.

"All I'm saying is," he kept going, "please don't break his heart."

And what about my heart?

"I'll do my best."

"Thank you."

He insisted on shaking my hand to seal this promise and we went back inside. Sigrid gave me an interrogating look, silently asking me if I had been bad with Val. I discreetly shook my head and her face visibly relaxed.

The rest of our time in the bar went as you would expect a night in the bar to go. We imbibed an ungodly amount of alcohol, and we got very drunk. When Theo and Cali found out that I used to be a cheerleader too, they dragged me to the middle of the bar and made me follow them on one of their old routines. It was easy enough to remember and reproduce, so it only took us a couple of minutes to be in sync and we made quite the show for the patrons who were not expecting that. I had not danced like a cheerleader in years. It felt nice. It felt familiar.

When our number was over, and after we'd copiously thanked our spectators that were at least as drunk as we were, I headed to the bar. I was parched, I needed a cold beer. Just as I was about to call for the bartender's attention, someone decided to stand way too close to me for it to be unintentional.

"You looked hot out there," said a drunk man who was probably in his late thirties. "Can I buy you a drink?"

"Thanks. And no, thank you, I'll buy my own."

I looked at the dude. His eyes were glassy, he reeked of alcohol, and he had a sleazy smile.

"Come on!" He insisted while slithering his arm around my waist. "I don't bite, I just want to get to know you. That's a fine ass you've got, do you mind shaking it again for me?"

I rolled my eyes and wrenched his hand off my body. I had no patience for that.

"Get the fuck away from me, okay?"

"Tsk, a feisty one. Hasn't your mommy told you that men prefer women with good manners? Nobody likes a girl with—"

"Is everything all right, babe?"

Arthur had come to the rescue, his chest against my back, his hand on my waist, and his lips near my ear. As if I needed his help to get out of a situation that had happened to me millions of times. If I hadn't been annoyed by his useless intervention, I would have burst out laughing at his use of 'babe'.

"Oh, I didn't realize you had a boyfriend," said the sleazy dude. "My bad, bro," he addressed Arthur, "I'll just go."

I looked in disbelief at the man making his way back to his table. Why was it that my telling him to fuck off did nothing to make him leave me alone, but Arthur's pathetic pretending that he was my boyfriend was enough to deter him? Ugh, men...

"You didn't have to do that," I told Arthur.

"I saw you struggle, I thought I'd help."

"I wasn't struggling. I am no damsel in distress, I can handle myself."

I slid out of his embrace and finally managed to order my beer from the bartender. His face fell.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. Let me pay for your drink, as an apology."

"No! I don't need your money, no more than I need you chasing creepy men away, I am a grown woman. Stop trying to protect me or whatever, I'm fine."

He had the audacity to laugh. This had the merit to throw me off.

"Abril, I'm not trying to protect you. I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to you, and I'm always happy to offer my help, but I'm not protecting you. You don't need my protection."

"Then what the hell are you doing?"

"I'm just trying to flirt with you. Clearly, I must be doing something wrong.""

"Pfff!"

"'Pfff' what?"

"We've already established that you and I could never be a thing. What's the point of flirting with me?"

"I don't know. I'm just intoxicated, I guess. And I saw you dance with my friends earlier, you looked fantastic. I didn't know you were a cheerleader."

"There are many things you don't know about me."

"That's correct. Would you mind sharing one of those many things with me?"

"Nope, I like to be a woman of mystery." I winked at him.

"That I have figured out."

The bartender came back with my beer, and Arthur asked him to bring one for him too, and to put mine on his tab. I didn't protest and let him pay. I waited for him to get his beverage, we cheersed, and I finally got to take a long refreshing swig of my drink.

"My mom taught me how to dance," I decided to tell him. "She can tango like nobody."

"Can you?"

"I guess I'm not too bad. I'm not nearly as good as her but I'm better than most. If you want to be my partner, I can show you."

He stood up straighter and stiffened.

"No, thanks."

"Oh."

"Sorry, I just—I don't really dance. I don't know how to, and the proximity makes me uncomfortable."

"So much for flirting with me, then?"

"I only dance with women who agree to date me, sorry."

Damn!

"I have to admit, that was a good comeback," I said, impressed.

"I learned from the best," he replied with a wink to my attention.

We laughed it off and went back to our seats

When we all finished our drinks, we decided that it was time to move that party to a club. We all happily dragged our drunk bodies a couple blocks away until we reached our destination. Like every nightclub on this planet, it was dark, loud, and packed with people, all in Halloween costumes. My kind of scene, not so much Arthur's, who was already looking miserable.

While Sigrid, Cedric, Spencer, Jeremy, and I weaved through the crowd of costumed people to find a spot with enough space for all of us to dance, Arthur and his friends went in another direction, except for Theo who stayed with us.

"They're getting a table," Theo informed me when I asked what they were doing.

I should not have been surprised. Arthur was one hundred percent the type of person who would get a table at a nightclub, because he didn't like to dance, and because he had the kind of money to afford it. I didn't care much for a table. I cared for enough space to dance comfortably, for good company, for good music, and for easy access to the bar. All of which I had.

After a couple songs, Cali, followed by the other girls, came to the dance floor and handed me a glass of champagne. Of course the boys over there had ordered a bottle of champagne... That thing must have cost several hundred dollars. Oh well, not my money being wasted away.

"Happy birthday!" Cali said while she hugged me. It was after midnight and technically not my birthday anymore, but it's not like those kinds of things mattered. "The champagne is Arthur's treat," she said with a knowing smile.

If Arthur thought that spending an ungodly amount of money on substandard nightclub champagne was impressing me in any shape or form, he was very wrong. I drank the liquid anyway – like I had predicted, it wasn't that good – and kept on dancing with my friends.

When a particularly lascivious song came on, Cali grabbed Toni by the waist and pulled her close to her, and they started dancing in a way that should count as foreplay. Toni's ass ground on Cali's crotch while Cali's hands were on Toni's boobs and her lips on her neck. They were hot and, judging by the number of people staring at them, I wasn't the only one thinking that.

Just as I was thinking that I wanted to do the same thing to someone, two hands landed on my waist and my back crashed into somebody's chest. I twisted my neck to see that it was Spencer. For a split second, I thought of turning him down but the contact of his body on mine felt too good for me to refuse. So I kept on dancing, my ass rubbing against his groin as his hands were enthusiastically kneading my hips.

I felt momentarily conscious of the fact that Cedric was around, but then I saw him flirt with Leo and concluded that he wouldn't mind. Spencer's lips found my shoulder, then my neck, and when he found no resistance, he landed them on the skin behind my ear. A soft moan escaped my lips. I pulled away.

"What's the matter?" He asked.

"I don't like what you're doing to me."

"It's funny, it sounded like quite the opposite."

To illustrate his point, he bent down and nibbled on my earlobe. My body pretty much liquefied.

I turned around and faced him before he could make me feel more.

"Spence, please."

"Sorry Abs, I got carried away. Let me buy you a drink."

He came back a few minutes later with a gin and tonic for me and a whisky and Coke for him.

"Happy birthday, Abby. I hope this year is the year you finally find peace."

We cheersed and drank our glasses.

We danced together in a more PG way for a couple songs until I had enough and wanted to sit down. I used our stupid privilege of having a table under our name and went to sit there. Val and Gus were keeping Arthur company, but they quickly vacated after I arrived. Very subtle...

I still took advantage of their swift exit to sit right next to Arthur. I leaned my head on his shoulder and, to my surprise, he put his arm around me.

"Are you having fun?" He asked me.

"I really am," I truthfully replied. "I haven't had such a good birthday in a long time. Thank you for coming, it means a lot."

"You're welcome, that's the least I could do."

"Do you know what could make this night better?"

"I might be able to guess what you're thinking of but it's not something I'd like to say out loud."

"Oh no, don't worry, it has nothing to do with sex."

"Oh. Then what is it?"

"I'd like to watch the stars."

"It seems quite easy to arrange. Let me go tell the others and we can just step outside for a moment."

"No, I mean, I want to watch the stars from your place. There's too much light pollution here, and I want to watch the sky from your swimming pool."

"Abril, I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why not?"

"We've both drunk too much. It wouldn't be safe to get into the water."

"Come on! We'll be fine, we won't do anything crazy. Just float around and watch the sky. I'm sure you're in a good enough state to rescue me if I were to endanger myself."

"I don't know..." He hesitated. "How about we watch the stars from my yard instead? It will be exactly the same, just without the added danger of the pool."

"No, it won't be the same. I really want to watch while in the water. Please, Arthur," I essentially begged, "it's my birthday. Consider it my birthday present."

"I already got you a present."

That was news to me.

"No, you didn't."

"I did. I just haven't gotten around to giving it to you yet. I didn't want to be the only one getting you something."

"Well, as far as I'm concerned, I've received nothing from you, so I can still ask for what I want. And what I want is to watch the stars from your pool. Please say yes."

A cute tiny smile appeared on his lips, a telltale sign that he was giving up fighting me.

"Okay," he caved, and I beamed at him like a kid being offered a second serving of dessert.

"Shall we go?"

I didn't care about the nightclub and the dancing anymore. All I wanted was to lie on my back in the chlorinated water of Arthur's pool and observe the starry sky.

"Right now?"

"Yeah! We'll just tell the others on our way out."

"All right. One last glass for the road?"

I agreed and he poured us a glass of champagne each. I drank mine fast, he took longer, but he downed the end of it when he saw that I was getting impatient.

As soon as he placed his glass back on the table, I took his hand to lead him through the crowd of the club. We stopped by our group of friends and I told Sigrid that I was going to watch the stars at Arthur's house so she wouldn't look for me later.

"Have fun," she said with a cheeky smile that spoke volumes. "You deserve it."

"It's not what you think," I clarified. "We're not going to have sex, he's not like that."

"I know."

"Then why are you smiling like that?"

"I'm just very happy for you. When was the last time you were so excited about watching the stars?"

It was a rhetorical question. Stargazing was one of Josh and I's favorite activities. I had rarely done that on my own since then. It did feel nice to be excited about it again.

"Just go and enjoy it, babes. It's your birthday and you deserve it. We'll keep Arthur's friends company, they're really nice."

"Thank you, Sig. You're the best. And I had an amazing birthday thanks to you."

"Aw, look at you being sweet and all. Call me tomorrow to tell me how it went?"

"Of course."

And on that note, I grabbed Arthur who also had told his friends he was leaving, and we exited the club after getting our jackets from the cloak check.

The cab dropped us out right in front of Arthur's gate. He clicked on the button of his remote and the high metal structure opened for us. As soon as the opening was wide enough for me to go through, I left Arthur on the spot and made a run for the swimming pool. He ran after me and had no difficulties catching up with me. I stopped running when I reached the pool.

"Can I trust you not to dive in without me while I go get us some towels and some spare clothes?"

"Probably not."

The eerie light of the pool and the sound of the ocean in the distance were calling my name. I wasn't planning on waiting any longer.

He rolled his eyes but accepted his defeat. He took off his jacket, shoes, and socks, folded the clothes neatly and placed them next to his trainers. He added his glasses to the pile and jumped in first. That's how determined he was for me not to spend even one minute in the water without supervision.

I took off my jacket and shoes, then I peeled off my black tights and removed my Wednesday Addams dress. I was left in my underwear, a simple lavender cotton set with white daisies. If my butt was mostly covered, my barely-there bralette was leaving very little to the imagination.

"You should have kept your dress on," Arthur commented.

"I'm fine."

Instead of diving, I eased my way into the pool by taking the stairs, untying my two braids at the same time. The water was warm, although the air was a bit chilly. I didn't mind. I walked towards Arthur and stopped right in front of him. I meant to look him in the eye, but his eyes were locked a few inches lower. If I didn't know any better, I would have said he was staring at my chest.

"Erm... Sorry, I don't mean to stare or to be rude, but what is going on with your nipples?"

The question sent me flying with manic laughter. Could you ever have imagined Arthur 'I-blush-at-the-mention-of-sex' Dullac asking me about my nipple piercings? Nope, me neither.

"Arthur Dullac, are you seriously asking a half-naked lady what is going on inside her bra? What has gotten into you?"

His face became livid, all the color gone in the span of one second.

"Oh my God, you're right, I'm so sorry. That is inappropriate of me to ask, I shouldn't even be looking at your breasts in the first place. Not that the show is not enjoyable, quite the opposite actually, but I should not be staring. I'm really sorry. I would blame it on the alcohol but that's not a valid excuse."

As adorable as he was when he was all flustered and apologetic, I needed to put an end to his misery.

"Arthur, calm down." I held his hands in mine, he didn't seem to mind. "I just made a joke, your asking is totally fine, don't worry. What's going on with my nipples is that I have piercings in them."

"Piercings? How?"

"I've got a horizontal bar going through each of them."

He visibly shuddered.

"Isn't it painful?"

"It was painful when I had them done, but it's not painful anymore. Unless I tug on them."

His hands let go of mine and instinctively went to his own nipples, protectively.

"Why would you tug on them?"

"It can feel pretty nice when done correctly," I replied with a wink.

His blush that had subdued came back in full strength.

"And why would you pierce your nipples?"

I shrugged. "Because it's pretty? Because it's cool? Because I wanted to test my limits? Because I could?"

I had them done when I turned seventeen, and I thought they were the coolest thing back then. I still did, if I was being honest. Although Arthur seemed unconvinced about their coolness.

"Do you want to see them?" I offered.

If possible, his face flushed an even brighter shade of red.

"No. Absolutely not."

"Why? Are you squeamish?"

"What? No, I just don't want you to take your top off in front of me. I'm not that kind of person."

"I know."

I reached for the band of my bralette anyway and pulled it over my head, my boobs bouncing out of it. I threw the garment on the pool ledge. Arthur's jaw dropped and his eyes, which were already struggling to stay on my face, were straining more and more to stay away from my chest.

"Please Abril, for the love of God put your top back on. This is... This is not right."

"Look," I ignored his request and cupped my breasts, pinching my nipples between my fingers and sliding the metal bars from left to right. "Those are my piercings. They're pretty nice, aren't they?"

"They are," he said while desperately trying to keep eye contact.

"You haven't even looked at them."

His eyes went south for a fraction of a second, then back up again. "Those are beautiful piercings. Now please put your bra back on."

"No. Do you want to touch them?"

"Absolutely not."

I took a step until I was as close to Arthur as possible, my naked nipples brushing against the lycra of his unisuit. I put my hands on his wrists and let them slide up his arms, until I reached his shoulders. I grabbed the straps of his uniform and looked at his face. He looked like he was having the most intense inner fight, it seemed almost painful.

"Can I?" I asked.

He nodded, although the pain in his face remained. I pulled on the straps and slid them down his biceps, his forearms, until his arms were free of them and his chest bare. I put my hands on his waist and rested my head on his torso. I could feel his heart beat much faster than a normal resting heart should.

"Put your hands on me," I directed him, but he refused again, looking away.

I pulled away and took a step back, looking up at him and his tortured face.

"Arthur, you have my undivided consent. Stop trying to be chivalrous and please play with my nipples. You will like it and so will I."

I observed him as he swallowed with difficulty, doubt still evident on his face although he looked more resolved than he had been looking so far. He took a deep breath, gathering his strength, and extended his arms towards me.

He placed his hand on the highest part of my stomach, on the ribs just below my breasts. His long fingers sprawled on my sides and my back, cold and wet, making me jump a little, while his palms and thumbs were holding on to the front of my body, on my sternum, not quite touching my boobs yet. He paused there for a few seconds.

Slowly, but surely, he raised his thumbs. And finally, they landed on my nipples. I sighed and let my head fall back. He rolled them outwards, then inwards, then in slow, excruciating circles. Despite all my best efforts, my breathing rate picked up. He noticed it and stopped his movement, his hands still on me.

"Is it painful?" He asked.

"No," I said more curtly than I intended to. How could he think I was in pain?

"Are you sure? You seemed in pain."

"Dios mío, Arthur! I am not in pain, I am aroused."

There. I had said it. I didn't want to, I was afraid it would make him stop and walk away, but I couldn't let him believe he was hurting me.

"Oh." He paused and said nothing for a few seconds. I felt his grip tighten on my ribs as he resumed circling my nipples, occasionally flicking them up and down. "I am aroused, too."

Instinctively, I looked down. But the water was at waist-level, I couldn't really tell to what degree he was aroused, if at all. Should I touch him too? I kind of wanted to, now. I was deadly curious. What did he feel like? Was he hard hard or just sporting a semi? Or totally soft, maybe? Would he spasm once I took his dick in my hand? Would he moan? Would he remain still? Would he wince?

I was betting on wince.

"Don't," he said when I started moving my hand very slowly in his direction.

I retreated immediately. It was one thing to beg him to touch me, it was a whole other story to touch him when he wasn't feeling comfortable about it. I would not cross that line. I'd touch him when he was ready. For the moment, I focused on the feeling of his fingers on my sensitive nipples, and the tingles it generated in my lower belly.

My eyes closing on their own accord, I heard him take a deep breath, insufflating himself with some courage. With resolve and purpose, his fingers shifted a bit and, finally, he fully held my boobs in his hands, squeezing them less gently than I would have expected Arthur to. A loud sigh of satisfaction escaped both our mouths. And when Arthur pinched my nipples delicately and started playing with the bar inside them, the sigh turned into a loud moan for me.

That stopped him in his tracks and I knew I had just put an end to what we were doing. His hands left my breasts and rested on my shoulders instead. He placed a chaste kiss on my cheek and took a step back.

"I think we should stop whatever this is we're doing before it gets out of hand."

I did not agree. I didn't want to stop, and I did want things to get out of hand. But I said no such thing and just nodded instead. Our time would come, just not that night.

He walked to the edge of the pool and collected my bra for me.

"Arms up," he requested.

"Just leave it, I'm fine having my boobs out."

"I'd much rather you cover up, please. I don't like where my mind goes when I look at your naked body."

He blushed adorably. That night was the first time he ever admitted having any kind of sexual feelings towards me. It felt good, and reassuring.

I did not argue and held my arms up while he slid my flimsy bralette down on my chest.

"Now, we came here to watch the stars, right? You haven't looked up once, so far."

"That's because the better view is right in front of me," I said without thinking.

What a lame pick-up line. Seriously, what a cringe fest. I didn't know why I'd said that, it wasn't even true. Arthur was not ugly, but also far from being conventionally attractive. His pale skin, his freckles, his thin frame, all of those things that made him so cute and unique didn't really conform to male beauty standards. His chunky quads and defined shoulders were probably the only exceptions. In any case, the better view was always the stars, and never the man.

He blushed again. Instead of making a comment, he held my chin with three of his fingers and tilted my head up. When the stars came into view, I melted.

I leaned backwards and crouched, ignoring the shivers as my upper body entered the water, then I let go and started floating on my back. The sky was particularly beautiful that night. It was a new moon night, which gave the stars all the spotlight.

As usual, I spotted Aquarius. I wanted to reach for my tattoo but Arthur, who had just joined me in my floating around while stargazing, held my hand. Somehow this felt just as soothing as running my fingertips on my tattoo, so I didn't even try to reach for it with my other hand.

We stayed there, in total silence, marveling at the beauty of the sky, for what felt like hours. One treacherous tear escaped my eye when my mind drifted and started thinking of Josh and of the millions of times we'd been looking at the stars in a very similar fashion. I ignored the pang in my chest, the familiar feeling of guilt, and squeezed Arthur's hand tighter. He squeezed it too in response but said nothing, showing me his support while respecting my desire for privacy at the same time. I felt grateful for that.

When I started shivering from the cold air and the actually-not-that-warm water, Arthur stood up.

"I think we should get inside before you get sick."

I groaned. I was cold but I didn't want to leave my position.

"Come on," he insisted. "The stars are not going anywhere, you can always come back anytime you want to watch them."

This open invitation made me smile and convinced me to leave the swimming pool. I could always come back.

"Welcome back," he said when I stood up, pointing his finger in the general direction of my head.

I gave him a confused look. What was he on about?

"Your hair," he explained. "It's pink again. It's you again."

"Oh. I didn't think of that, I hope I didn't ruin your pool."

"Don't worry about it. There's chlorine in there for a reason."

When I got out of the water, Arthur covered me with his jacket and he grabbed our clothes and shoes before ushering me to the house.

We took a shower at the same time, although in two separate bathrooms. I shrieked in horror when I stepped out of the shower and realized that my hair now had an ugly gray tint, consequence of the black spray paint.

I heard Arthur run to the door and frantically knock on it.

"Abril? Are you okay?"

"No. I mean yes, I'm fine, I'll live, but I'm not okay."

"Open the door, please."

I rolled myself in one of the fluffy white towels and opened the door on Arthur. He barged into the bathroom, looking around the whole room, then settling on me.

"What's wrong? Are you injured?"

"No, no. It's just... I ruined my hair."

He didn't comment. He didn't mention how ridiculous and probably shallow it was of me to be so upset over a hair color, nor how the change of color was probably too subtle for his masculine eyes to tell the difference. He just pulled me into a comforting hug.

"I'd offer to dye it for you right now, but I'm afraid I do not have the equipment, nor the skills. What I can do is get you a hairdressing appointment for tomorrow, though."

For your everyday Angeleno, getting a same-day appointment in a hair salon reputable enough to deal with uncommon hair colors was impossible. Arthur was not your everyday Angeleno, though.

"No, no. I'm fine, I'll do it myself, it's not that big a deal. I'm just being dramatic."

"Dramatic? You? Never," he sassed, which earned him a slap on the shoulder.

"Seriously, though. One word from you and we're getting this professionally fixed."

"I'll be all right. But thank you."

"Of course."

He left me alone to get dressed and dry my disgusting hair.

I found him waiting for me on his white leather couch, wearing flannel pants and a gray tee-shirt. I was wearing black leggings and a white tee from the collection of clothes he had in his guest bedroom. He had taken out a bottle of red and two wine glasses. He knew me too well.

"I would not usually keep drinking after the insane amount we've already drunk, but it's your birthday so I'm ready to make an exception."

On this note, he poured me a glass and handed it to me. I gladly accepted it and sat next to him. He cleared his throat.

"Erm... You can sit on my lap. If you want."

I raised an eyebrow at him. How licentious of him.

"Do you want me to sit on your lap, Arthur?"

"No, I mean yes, I mean it's up to you. I don't mind you doing it, but it's not like it's a demand or anything. I'm just offering."

"I'm going to need a better invitation than that. I can't be the only one making clear moves. Do you want me to sit on your lap, yes or no?"

He gulped loudly.

"Yes," he replied firmly. "Please sit on my lap, Abril."

So I did, my legs swung on one side, my side body nestled against his chest. He rested the hand that was not holding his wine on my knees.

"Here," he reached for a small box on the table and placed it in my free hand. "Happy birthday."

The box was an unmistakable shade of teal blue. The Tiffany & Co. kind of blue. Its size was so small it could only contain a ring. That's when I started panicking. Surely he couldn't be buying me a ring right now. We were not dating, we were not even fucking! What the hell was wrong with him?

"Relax," he said. "As misleading as it looks, there is no engagement ring in this box. Do you really think I'm that desperate for a partner that I would propose to a woman I've known for only a couple months? A woman I'm not even dating at that?"

I laughed it off but kept quiet. Yes, for a split second, I had thought just that.

Fully reassured, I opened the box to find a pair of small stud earrings. One was a silver scorpion, the other one was eight tiny diamonds arranged in a very specific geometrical shape: the Scorpio constellation. They were perfect. I swiftly put them on and rotated my head from left to right to show him my ears.

"I don't know much about astrology but Google told me you're a Scorpio, right?"

I nodded.

"I love them, thank you. Although it's far too much, you shouldn't have."

"At the risk of sounding extremely arrogant and vain, let me tell you that those earrings were cheaper than a good pen. It's really not that much. Just a small token of my affection."

Ah, the cruel reminder that what consisted of 'a small token' for him was probably a month worth of food for me. That was one very cute token, though. I didn't care much for astrology, but I cared a lot about the stars, and the sky in general. It was a really nice and thoughtful gift. So I didn't argue about the price and accepted the gift gracefully.

"They're perfect. Thank you."

He smiled. I smiled. We drank more wine. It was an overall very peaceful and cozy moment. Until he ruined it all by bringing up a touchy subject.

"I saw you in the club," he said suddenly without context.

"And?"

"I saw you with that boy. Spencer, I believe? You two were dancing like you are more than friends."

Ah. We had had a short risqué moment indeed.

"And?" I said again. I knew very well where he was going with that. But one, he had no right to be jealous, and two, he really needed to work on his communication. I couldn't just guess all the time.

"And I'm not sure how I feel about that," he said in a very avoidant way.

"Well, once you figure out how you feel, you can let me know."

He clicked his tongue.

"Abril, you know very well what I mean."

"Maybe. But maybe not. Why don't you try using words?"

"Fine," he caved, exasperated already. "Jealous. I felt jealous seeing you with another man."

There. Although speaking out loud of jealousy had just opened a whole Pandora box that would have been better off remaining closed.

"You have no right to be jealous. We're not together."

"I know. But it's getting very hard not to be jealous of the men that do get your attention. I, too, want you."

"No, you don't," I retorted.

He smirked. "I'm pretty sure I do."

"No, you don't!" I repeated. "If you wanted me, you could have me right here, right now."

"I don't want you in that way. I mean, I do, but not now."

"Exactly. What you want is to date me."

"I do."

"But I don't date."

"You don't."

"So, what are we doing?"

"I don't know about you, but what I'm doing is wait for you to be ready."

"I won't change my mind, Arthur."

"Are you sure about that? What we've been doing so far looks an awful lot like dating."

I looked him dead in the eye and slowly backed away from his body. He was right. Cedric was right. Sigrid was right. Everybody was fucking right. I was essentially dating the guy. I could not have that.

"Abril, relax. Forget about what I said, we're not dating."

"We're not."

"And you're right, it wasn't fair of me to bring up Spencer. You don't owe me an explanation."

"Right."

"We are just friends hanging out with each other."

"We are."

"Let's just forget everything and enjoy the rest of the night."

"Let's."

"Abril, can you please make full sentences? You're worrying me."

Right. I wasn't thinking properly.

"I—I erm..."

Great answer, Abby.

"Did I finally manage to leave you speechless? What an achievement!" He joked and I glared at him. He had a point, though. I did not know what to reply, and that did not happen often.

"I should go," is all I said.

There were no words to describe the pain and disappointment on Arthur's face when I said that. Which is exactly why leaving was the best thing to do.

I got off Arthur's lap and stood up, looking around the room, trying to figure out where all my stuff was. Where had he put my clothes and my shoes after our nocturnal bath?

Arthur stood up right behind me, wrapped his arms around my waist, and lodged his head on my shoulder. His usual smell attacked my nostrils and I felt myself go limp. I melted against him. It was so rare for us to be that close physically, I wanted to enjoy it. And the truth was, as much as leaving was the right thing to do, that was also the last thing I wanted to do.

"I should go," I repeated.

He said nothing, he just breathed into my neck, hugging me tight. It felt like he was holding all the pieces of my broken self together. It felt nice. I felt happy.

"But I don't want to go."

"Then don't."

So I didn't.

I was known to be selfish, but that was the ultimate selfish move. We still had so much to unpack. We needed to make it clear where each of us stood. He needed to understand that I was fully committed to my no-dating lifestyle. I needed to understand that he could not give me sex unless I was ready to emotionally connect to him. We needed to realize how incompatible we were, sooner rather than later, before any of us – most likely him – got hurt. I wasn't going to stop seeing other men for his sake, he wasn't going to have a one-night-stand with me. We were doomed before we even started.

And yet, we decided to ignore that fact for the night. More accurately, I decided to ignore that fact for the night. I was the executioner in this situation. It was my role to pull back, and I didn't.

Instead, we drank more wine, until we finished the bottle. It was getting very late, and I could barely stay awake. It was time for bed. I used one of the spare toothbrushes in Arthur's guest bathroom. To my surprise, he also took one of those and brushed his teeth with me, rather than getting his own from his bedroom, and we looked at each other in the mirror while performing this basic hygiene task.

"Will you sleep with me?" I asked after spitting out the toothpaste and rinsing my mouth.

Since we were doing everything wrong anyway, we might as well enjoy ourselves before reality caught up on us.

"I think I've already told you that it's not going to happen."

"No, I mean just sleep. Truly."

"Oh. It probably isn't a good idea."

"It definitely isn't. But I want to anyway."

"Abril..." He sighed. "This is not anodyne, you know? I don't just share my bed with anybody."

I bet he didn't.

"Please."

He opened his mouth to say something, probably an excuse for why he was declining my request, but then he closed it, like he had changed his mind. And he opened it again.

"You leave me no choice, how can I say no to the birthday girl?"

I smiled.

He led me up the stairs to the master bedroom. His bedroom. Like the rest of the house, it was huge, sleek, angular, in all shades of black, white and gray. He let me pick the side I wanted on his king-size bed and he lay down next to me, on his back. I scooted as close as I could, lying on my side, wrapping one leg and one arm around him, my cheek resting on his bicep.

"You know that bed is large enough for the both of us to sleep comfortably and still have room to spare, right?"

"I know."

"Good. Just checking."

I giggled. He did have a sense of humor, sometimes.

He didn't complain, instead he held my hand and pulled me closer. We fell asleep like so after wishing each other a good night.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

A/N: Hi everyone!

How's the weather where you are? Where I am, yesterday evening and today was the first snow of the season, so exciting! It makes it weird to be writing about sunny California.

Next chapter on Wednesday (speaking of Wednesday, have you guys watched the series? I'm halfway through and I'm in love) and, as always, please vote and comment if you're enjoying my story.

Love,
Charlie.