Ten years earlier

I was in love with Joshua Isaac Paxton. He didn't know it, though. I was far too afraid he didn't feel the same way to say anything. We had been dating for a couple months, but it took me merely a week of dating him to understand that I loved the guy. What was not to love? He was the sweetest person I had ever met. He was kind, considerate, and understanding. As per his promise, he did everything he could to make me feel safe in our relationship, especially making sure that his cheerleader friends knew he was not single anymore, therefore 'casually' touching him and hitting on him when they were hanging out was no longer okay. Also, he was devilishly hot. And he was a passionate lover. Not that we had gotten physical yet but our make-out sessions by his locker always left me short of breath. I was dying to experience how he performed in bed but he had made no explicit move so far.

If I was being honest, I was worried about our absence of a sex life. He liked sex, he said so himself, so why hadn't he ripped my clothes off yet? I knew the reason couldn't be that he didn't desire me, yet I couldn't help thinking it was. Low self-esteem is a bitch.

We were smoking in the school parking lot, a habit I had picked up from him way too fast, way too easily – bad, I know. Josh had gotten a car for his sixteenth birthday so, every now and again, he would drop me off at my house instead of my parents picking me up. We always made sure he never parked right in front of the house so my parents would not see him. Obviously, I would never tell them my boyfriend was dropping me off, so I told them it was Sigrid. Thankfully, Sigrid had also gotten a car for her birthday, and she did give me a ride from time to time, so the lie was credible.

When we finished our cigarettes, we climbed in his car. Unlike the Americans, Josh drove a manual car. The constant gear shifting in traffic-heavy LA made my dreams of him caressing my thigh – and more – while driving on long scenic roads quite impossible to come true.

"My parents are away this weekend," he said as he merged onto the freeway.

I nodded. I liked where this was going.

"Do you reckon you can escape your parents' scrutiny for two days? I'd love for you to come and sleep over."

Butterflies. In my stomach. And somewhere else.

I had never been to his house since his birthday, I couldn't wait to be alone with him in a place that had a bed. Well, alone-ish; I suspected Sasha would be there.

"Sure! I'll tell them I'm at Sig's."

"You're so going to hell with all the lies you're telling your parents, love."

"And you'll be rotting right next to me," I replied.

He burst into laughter.

The situation worked out as smoothly as it could. Sigrid also needed an alibi because she was planning to spend the weekend with her footballer – the same one from Spin the Bottle. She had gotten lucky and lost her V-card to this guy on the very night of Josh's birthday. "It was all right, although a bit painful," she had said about her first time when I had asked her. Since then, she'd had a few opportunities to do it again and was now totally sold on the sexual skills of her lover. "He's not the sharpest knife in the drawer but he's nice and he fucks me well," was how she would describe her boyfriend to me. I suspected that the status of footballer's girlfriend was also a key factor. She said she was happy with him and that's all that mattered to me.

I told my parents that I was spending the weekend at Sigrid's, she told hers that she was spending it at mine. Our parents never really called each other to check if our stories matched. We were good kids with good grades and no discipline issues at school, why would they doubt us? As long as they kept trusting our words, we would be fine.

I took the metro to go to Josh's place on Saturday morning. I didn't want to risk getting caught before I got there so I didn't ask him to pick me up. I wasn't ready to have my only shot at sex with Josh taken away from me when I was this close.

I was wearing a white floral dress. It had short flowy sleeves and a somewhat plunging neckline. It flared from my waist and stopped just above my knees, strategically hiding my wide hips. This was my power dress, the one that made me feel confident, and God knows I needed confidence. Underneath, I was wearing the closest thing to sexy lingerie that I owned. It was a plain black ensemble with some lace accents on the edges. For the first time, I wished I owned a thong or two. At least, my bra was a push-up bra and gave me the tiniest amount of cleavage.

"Hello, gorgeous," Josh greeted me at his front door before pulling me in for a tonguey kiss.

He took the pink duffle bag which contained my belongings – a change of clothes and underwear, a swimsuit, and pajamas – from my shoulder and we went to his room to put it away. I sat on the edge of his bed and he joined me. As always, he took my hand, and I knew he wouldn't let go of it until I left his house the following day – well, except for when he needed to use both hands for, like, driving and eating.

"That's a lovely dress you're wearing, love. I've never seen it before. You look amazing."

And as always, his appreciation of my person made me blush. He chuckled at my incapability to take a compliment and kissed me softly on the lips. In a swift move, he grabbed my legs and placed them on his lap, turning me sideways. His hand that wasn't holding mine rested on my thigh, tracing meaningless figures on my bare skin. I was already shaking with anticipation.

But then he stopped kissing me, put my feet back on the ground, and helped me up.

"Shall we go get some food?" He proposed.

"Sure," I replied. After all, it was close to noon and I was hungry. We had an entire weekend to ourselves, we had plenty of time to fool around.

We drove to In-N-Out, got both our orders, plus one for Sasha, and drove back to the Paxton house.

"Sash!" Josh called out as we entered the living room. "Come on down, we've got food for you!"

I heard Sasha's heavy footsteps as she was running down the stairs in her combat boots, then she appeared in front of us.

"Hi Abby," she said in her bird-like voice. "Wow, you look hot!" she complimented me after eyeing me up and down.

"She does, doesn't she?" Josh agreed with his sister.

And how did I react to that? I blushed, of course.

"Thanks," I timidly said.

It was one thing not to reply when Josh was complimenting me. He knew my typical reaction to praise, he was used to it. I suspected he was even counting on it, sometimes. But Josh's sister didn't know me, and it was rude not to reply.

"Hands off, though!" Josh ordered his sister in what I thought was a joking tone but didn't sound too much like it.

Sasha laughed her crystalline high-pitched laugh. I was confused.

"Sash is gay," Josh explained, guessing my confusion and answering before I'd even had the chance to ask.

"Damn right I am!" She winked at me. "If you ever feel drawn to join the other team, you'll know where to find me, sweetheart."

She blew a kiss in my direction which made my face feel even hotter.

The siblings both laughed at my discomfort. That's how I found out that flirting was in the Paxton DNA. Even though I had no known attraction to women (spoiler alert: I did, I just didn't realize it), I had found myself flustered by Sasha's proposition. This girl was such a badass. A gorgeous badass.

Josh eventually pulled me out of my embarrassing misery. He kissed the top of my head and we all sat down on the couch to eat our food. When lunch was over, Sasha left us and we put a movie on. We agreed on Jurassic Park, which we both watched with the utmost attention until the very end. Except for our hand holding and the casual contact of our bodies on the couch, there was no romantic, let alone sexual, touch between us during the entire movie.

When the end credits appeared on the screen and the most awesome of soundtracks resonated in the room, Josh got onto his feet.

"Did you bring a swimsuit?"

I nodded enthusiastically. Was he proposing that we get naughty in the swimming pool again?

"Great. I was thinking we could go to Venice, have a dip in the ocean, and then head to the pier and have dinner there. What do you think?"

I was slightly disappointed that the plan didn't involve us getting naked but that was massively overshadowed by the prospect of spending a day in Venice and Santa Monica. I absolutely loved the beach and the ocean, and I was a big fan of carnivals. This sounded like the perfect afternoon to me.

I hurried upstairs and put on my simple baby pink bikini. In less than five minutes, I was all set. I barely stopped to contemplate how less attractive my chest was now that I was wearing an unpadded swimsuit top.

Josh picked some beach towels from the bathroom and tossed them in a bag along with sunscreen and water bottles. He quickly swapped his underwear for his swimming boxers and we were ready to go.

The beach was packed, as it often is, but we managed to find a spot to put both our towels. We stripped down to our swimsuits and we ran hand in hand towards the water.

We spent a couple of hours in Venice, either playing with the waves, with each other, or sunbathing on the hot sand. When I asked Josh to put sunscreen on my back that I couldn't reach, he diligently obliged, reminding me again how badly I craved him.

We eventually left the beach and walked hand in hand along the ocean, until we reached the beautiful Santa Monica Pier and its Ferris Wheel. We quite evidently rode the Ferris Wheel and the rollercoaster.

Everything was just perfect. I could not have asked for more.

Our afternoon activities having made us hungry, we went for an early dinner at the Mexican restaurant at the extremity of the pier. We asked for a table on the terrace, as close to the water as possible. The settings were idyllic and desperately romantic. At least romantic in my book. Santa Monica Pier was one of my favorite places in LA and spending an afternoon there with a boy I loved was my definition of happiness.

After dinner, we headed back to the car, my stomach now as full as my heart. Instead of our usual hand holding, Josh pulled me closer and wrapped his arm around my waist, and I did the same to his. We walked thusly entangled, my head leaning on his shoulder, on the footpath that ran along the beach.

Way too soon, we reached the car and we had to separate. He chuckled at my clinginess.

"How about one final destination tonight?" He offered.

Could this day get any better?

"What do you have in mind?"

"It's a surprise. I'm sure you'll love it."

That's all I needed to know. I agreed and he started the car.

It didn't take long for me to recognize where we were going. We were driving towards the very recognizable Hollywood hills and there was only one place we could possibly be headed to at this time.

"Griffith Observatory?" I asked although I was sure I was right.

My voice sounded ecstatic.

"I told you you'd love where we were going."

We parked the car as close to the building as possible and had to finish on foot. Griffith Observatory is located on top of a hill next to the famous Hollywood Hill. You can see the Hollywood sign very well from there, but the better view is the cityscape of LA. You can see the high buildings of downtown LA stand out from the otherwise flat landscape. If you focus, you can almost see the ocean behind the miles and miles of concrete that the city has to offer. The sun was just above the tallest buildings on the horizon. We were right on time to see the sunset, and I was sure Josh had timed it, this was not a coincidence.

As I stood still to fully take in the breathtaking view, Josh hugged me from behind and lodged his chin on my shoulder. I grabbed his hands and thoughtlessly drew circles on them with my thumbs. We said nothing and admired the sunset in silence, enjoying each other's touch.

It took the sun only fifteen more minutes to set below the horizon. We spent all of them enjoying the view.

"Wow," I said, still marveling at the beauty of the landscape. "That was so beautiful, thanks for bringing me here."

"We're not done yet. I actually meant to go inside the observatory."

"Oh yes! I've heard there's an interesting exhibition at the moment."

He smiled.

"I've heard the same. There's also a lecture about the northern lights in thirty minutes and..." He reached out for his back pocket and retrieved two pieces of paper from it. "I got us tickets for it!"

He was beaming, his smile barring his face from one ear to another.

"You—You got me a ticket to a northern lights lecture?" I asked, not quite trusting my eyes and ears.

"Yeah... It's quite nerdy, isn't it?" He said, almost embarrassed.

"Yes."

"We don't have to go if you don't feel like it, it was just an idea."

For the first since I'd met him, I saw his confidence waver. For a couple seconds, he was not the cocky bastard that I knew and loved, who knew me more than myself and would always be so spot-on every time he had to guess what was on my mind. No, for this very short moment, he was just any other insecure boyfriend who thought he'd bought his girlfriend a gift she didn't like. That gave me the urge to hug him tight and reassure him. And that's exactly what I did.

"Hey, corazón, don't you dare doubt yourself!" I ordered. "I love your gift. In fact, I don't understand how you managed to be so on point. If I were asked to describe a perfect date, attending a lecture in the Griffith Observatory would definitely be on the list. Yes, it's nerdy, but I like nerdy things, it's perfect."

He frowned.

"What did you just call me? Corazón? It means 'heart', right?"

I blushed. I hadn't meant to call him that.

"Yes. Although in that context, the closest translation would be 'sweetheart'."

"Oh, look at you!" He laughed. "Calling me pet names and all. That's cute."

His mocking annoyed me. His confidence hadn't taken long to come back.

"I guess I won't call you that ever again."

"Why not?"

"Because you're making fun of me when I do."

"Nonsense! I love it when Spanish words slip out of your mouth. I like to pretend that you do that because of me; that my presence overwhelms you so much you forget how to speak English."

I looked at my feet. I really thought I was more subtle than that.

"There's no need to pretend. It's usually exactly what happens."

He grinned, flattered.

"I wonder what else I could do to make you lose your English..."

He winked at me.

This is a sexual innuendo, isn't it? Ugh! I don't know.

"Let's go pick our seats, shall we?" He proposed and I agreed.

The lecture was amazing. The lecturer was a professor from Caltech. Her speech was dumbed down enough that anyone could understand, without feeling like we were treated like ignorant children. The light show displayed on the spherical ceiling was mesmerizing and I could have stayed in that seat for hours, just holding Josh's hand and marveling at the projected stars.

Unfortunately, after an hour passed, the lights went back on and we had to leave the planetarium. We roamed in the observatory, taking a look at the permanent exhibition. We climbed on the roof and admired the view one more time. It was nighttime, which didn't make the view any less breathtaking, but quite the opposite.

"I had a wonderful day. I hope you know that." I said as Josh wrapped his arms around my waist from behind.

"Me too, love. Me too."

When there was no more exhibition to see or night view to admire, we drove back to his house. It wasn't late and I was very much awake. So was he. Now was the perfect time to get naked and do it. I couldn't think of a better moment, I was over the moon after such a great day. That would be the only thing that could top it up.

"Since we still have our swimsuits on, what do you say we go for a swim?"

Well, I guess we could still get naked after a quick dip in the pool.

We got rid of our clothes in the living room and ran to the swimming pool. The water was quite chilly but I didn't mind. I had Josh's half-naked body next to mine to keep me warm. If anything, the cold water was useful in keeping my eagerness at bay.

We behaved, in that swimming pool. Mostly, we floated on our backs, holding hands and looking at the stars, talking about anything that came to our minds, with an ease that was so typical of us when we were together. On a few occasions, I initiated a kiss, hoping that it would spark up his desire and get me where I wanted. He responded to my kisses fervently, as he always did, but he broke them all up before it got too steamy, my self-esteem shattering a bit more with each of his rejections.

When I couldn't stand being in the pool anymore, we got out and went upstairs. I took a shower – he did not join me – and I put on the pajamas I had brought, which were my last strand of hope to make my boyfriend want me. I did not have sexy pajamas, my mother would never allow it, but I had this light gray tank top and shorts ensemble. It was thin and tight on my skin, which made it sexy enough, I think. My nipples were poking through the thin fabric and the shorts were short enough that my underbutt was showing. That would have to do.

I entered the bedroom and his eyes went straight to my visible nipples. He was sitting on the edge of the bed. I gathered my courage and marched towards him. I placed my hands on the back of his neck and my legs on either side of his, straddling him. I initiated a languorous kiss which he seemed to appreciate, and to which he responded with eagerness. His hands naturally landed on my butt, pulling me closer. When, after a few minutes of devouring each other, I started to feel his penis harden against my barely-there pajama bottoms, I was beaming with joy. I rocked my hips in appreciation and that made him groan.

Then the joy vanished when he suddenly cut the making-out short and pulled me off his lap.

"I need a shower too, love. I'll be quick," he said before disappearing.

When he came back from the bathroom, I was furious and sad at the same time. He had proven countless times that he could essentially read my mind, he had to know that I was trying to seduce him. Which means he was rejecting me on purpose, hence my anger and my sadness. Why would he do that? He'd said himself that he wanted me, what had changed?

I was already in bed, crying silently in a fetal position, my face hidden in the pillow.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" He suggested, reaching for the remote to his TV.

I did not reply, scared that my broken voice would betray me; and also because I didn't particularly want to talk to him.

"Or I could read you a bedtime story," he teased. Still no answer from me.

My lack of reply alarmed him and he came right next to me.

"Love, what's wrong?"

Silence.

He pulled me upright and made me face him. He saw my tears.

"Why are you crying, love?"

...

"Talk to me, Abby. What's wrong?"

"I don't want to talk to you."

"Why not? What did I do?"

"Don't you dare play dumb with me. You know very well what you did. Or what you didn't do, for that matter."

He sighed in defeat and pulled me in for a hug.

"I didn't realize it would make you so upset," he confessed. "Please trust me when I say I've never intended to hurt you, love. It pains me to see you cry."

"Then why?" I choked, my voice breaking. "Why would you do that? If I repulse you so much that you can't even have sex with me, why are you dating me?"

He hugged me tighter and stroked my back.

"You can't possibly believe that. You know I'm crazy about you, I am craving your body every second of every day."

I knew that indeed. There wasn't a day that passed where he wouldn't make it obvious that he had a raging desire to take me on the spot. He was a pro at making me horny with nothing more than a lascivious look. And yet, that day, I was feeling like I was the last human being he wanted to touch.

"Why have you rejected all my advances, then? I've practically been begging you to fuck me all day!"

He smirked when I swore but his face remained serious.

"I know, love, I know. I was there." He smirked. "But I had to keep you at arm's length. Otherwise, I would have caved and given you what you wanted."

Wait, did he just say what I think he said?

"And how would that be a bad thing?" I yelled at him. "I thought you wanted that too! That you were 'craving my body every second of every day'!"

"I do. It's just—"

"What?" I barked.

"It's silly, really."

"Oh, I don't expect any smart reason behind all this nonsense, believe me!"

"It's just that I want you to have your first time with someone you love."

"Wh—What?"

I expected all kind of stupid reasons, at this point. I had even considered that maybe he wanted to wait until marriage, that's how far I had searched for any justification. But the reason he had just given me made no sense. Did he want me to have sex with someone else?

"I just want to do things right with you," he attempted to explain. "You see, I'm not a virgin anymore, but you are, and someone's first time is a big deal. They always say that it should be with somebody you love. So I want to wait until you love me before having sex with you, just so you don't have any regrets or anything."

I couldn't help but laugh hysterically at such a bunch of crap. What he had just said was wrong on so many levels that laughing was a safer response than getting angry.

"What's so funny?" He asked, visibly thrown off by my reaction.

"Everything that you have just said."

His face went from shocked to offended.

Well, welcome to the club, buddy!

"Enlighten me, please."

"Okay. So, the whole thing about losing one's virginity being such a big deal is just archaic crap. Only I get to decide when I want to have sex with for the first time and who with. I don't need to love the person, it could be a stranger I met in the street. The concept of virginity in itself is completely stupid anyway, it shouldn't exist, let alone be made such a big deal. What is sex? Would you consider that a gay woman who has never been with a man is a virgin? Your sister is a lesbian, for Christ's sake, and your parents are the most left-wing people I've ever met. They smoke pot with you! I can't believe you've been raised to believe in this load of crap"

He bowed his head in apology.

"You're right. Of course only you get to choose when you are ready to have sex. I guess I just—I don't know, I just wanted to show you that I can wait, it's not just about the sex for me."

"I have never thought you were in just for the sex."

"What are you in for?"

"Excuse me?"

"Are you in just for the sex?"

I laughed. "Right. With all the sex we're having, it's definitely why I'm with you," I snarked.

"I'm serious, Abby."

"What the hell, Josh? Of course I'm not with you just for the sex, I lo—"

His face lit up when I almost said the three little words that I so desperately didn't want to say yet.

It all clicked into place. And then I felt very stupid. Josh didn't care about my virginity, he didn't believe in the stupid nonsense he'd just said, and he knew I wasn't with him for sex. He just cared about whether I loved him. He had not been straightforward with his message, to say the least, but now it was crystal clear. Josh loved me, and he wanted to make sure I loved him before taking our relationship to the next level. Not for my sake but his. He would be heartbroken if we started having sex and I ended up wanting it to be casual.

I had been so focused on my own insecurities that I had not considered he had some too. My love for him seemed so obvious to me, I didn't think he could not see it? Just like I couldn't see his love for me. Until that very moment.

"Oh Josh," I said, tears pooling in my eyes. "You're always so intuitive about me, and you didn't manage to figure that out?"

"I've suspected it for a while," he said with a smile, "but I'm not foolproof, I'm gonna need you to say it, love."

I took a few seconds to regain my composure and wipe away my tears. I placed my hands on both sides of his face and looked straight into his bright blue eyes.

"I love you, corazón. More than you can imagine."

His lips found mine and kissed me with more passion than he had ever before, if that was even possible.

"I love you too, Abby," he murmured into my ear.

There are no words that I could find to properly depict what I was feeling at that exact moment. Whole and happy would be the closest to the truth, although happiness seemed like a very dull emotion compared to what I was feeling. Except for my family, I had never been loved and I had never loved before. Boy had I been missing out. It was all so new, yet I could already feel how addicting it would be.

"And just so you know," he said between two kisses, "I really, really want to have sex with you right now."

I giggled. "Me too."

Josh's hands were all over my body in an instant, exploring more than ever before. We had never gone past second base, and even then, he'd never done more than grope my butt and cop a feel of my boobs. Only once had his hand snuck under my skirt, caressing me above my panties. Then the bell had rung we'd had to rush to class. He had never seen me naked, let alone touched me like that.

Those boundaries were all gone, now. His hungry hands were fondling my breasts, titillating my nipples through my thin top and licking the exposed skin of my cleavage – or lack thereof.

"Love, if you want to stop me, now would be the time," he said in a raspy, thirsty voice that I had never heard before. "We do not have to do anything tonight."

Nonsense! I screamed in my thoughts.

"Keep going," I commanded.

"You sure? We can wait and make the moment more special if you want."

"Yes, I'm sure," I groaned.

"Okay. I had to be a good guy and ask. Talk to me whenever you need to."

Without further ado, he scrunched up my top to reveal my naked breasts and dove on them with his tongue. He ran his cold metallic piercing on my nipples; I shivered. His hands joined the party, caressing skin they had never touched before. My teenage hormones were on fire, all I knew was that I wanted more. Of everything. More pressure, more tongue, more hands, more teeth. My fingers slithered in his hair and pulled his face closer to my chest, urging him to give me more. I felt him smile against my skin.

He let go of my breasts for a moment. He finished taking my top off and laid me on my back, after making sure there was a pillow under my head. He stared at my naked upper half for a good thirty seconds at least. I suddenly felt very exposed and well aware of how my body looked nothing like a typically hot body, what with my small breasts and wide hips.

"Don't you dare," Josh ordered.

"What?"

"I can read your eyes. You're panicking. And not because you're nervous about having sex, but because you're being self-conscious. So, again, don't you dare do that. You look gorgeous, love. You look gorgeous with your clothes on, and even more so with your clothes off."

"But—"

"No buts," he interrupted me. "You look gorgeous, period. I'll only allow you to second-guess if it's about what we're about to do. If it's about anything else, kindly tell your inner self to fuck off."

I laughed and he killed the laughter with a kiss.

He lied on his side next to me, his head propped on one hand. He put my arms away from my chest one by one and placed them on my sides. I ignored the insecurities boiling inside me and focused on him instead. He licked the fingers of his free hand and traced a wet path on my torso. From one nipple to the other, then down the side of my ribcage, around my navel, then back up on the other side of my ribcage. He made this movement several times, triggering involuntary contractions of my muscles each time he was going over a ticklish zone. My spasms made him laugh and encouraged him to keep going.

On his umpteenth pass, he stopped at my navel, his fingertips brushing against the top of my shorts. He looked me dead in the eye, asking for permission. I nodded frantically and he shoved his hand right into my panties.

"You shaved," he observed.

Of course I had. I wanted to be as 'fuckable' as possible for that exact moment.

"Yes," I replied.

"You didn't have to."

"You don't like it?" I asked, worried.

"Oh yes, I do. But please tell me you did it because you wanted to, not for my sake. I love you with or without hair, I hope you know that."

"Well, I did do it for you. I thought you might enjoy it."

His face got sad for a second but it didn't take long for his beaming smile to take over.

"I enjoy it very much," he reassured me. "Just know that I like it either way, okay?"

I nodded.

He moved one finger which landed on my clitoris. He started with slow circular motions, gradually building the pressure between my legs. As the pressure got higher, my body started moving on its own, my hips thrusting against his hand in the hopes of reaching the sweet release of orgasm. He kept his rhythm slow and steady for a while, and when he saw that I could not take it anymore, he picked up the pace and sent me over the edge in a delightful climax. I had had orgasms before, while masturbating. If I was faster at making myself come, the feeling of somebody else's hand on me was a million times better than my own fingers.

While I was recovering from the rollercoaster I had just ridden, Josh nestled his head in my neck and kissed its delicate skin. At the same time, two of his fingers went a bit more south and slid up and down between my labia.

"You're very wet, Miss Lagostera."

"It's Shagostera. I've told you a million times."

"Argentinian Spanish makes no sense."

"Says the guy who uses 'pants' when referring to underwear."

"Touché."

"So, you were saying?"

"You're very wet, Miss... Abby."

And he shut me up by inserting one finger inside my vagina. The intrusion, although welcome, made me gasp. He gave me a second to accommodate and started to slide his finger in and out. It felt... okay. Definitely not bad, but it wasn't the mind-blowing sensation I expected. Then he slid a second one in and switched to a curling motion. My opinion changed in a fraction of a second. Josh's fingers in me were nothing short of pure bliss.

When I was sufficiently aroused for his taste, he took off my shorts and panties. I was one hundred percent naked with nowhere to hide. I was once again very much aware of all the imperfections of my body, but Josh's hungry eyes as they devoured every inch of my skin made those insecurities go away. My body looked perfect to him.

He removed his own underwear, the only garment he had been wearing until then, and knelt next to me, his hard penis resting on his thigh. That was quite the erotic view.

"Do you want to touch it?" He asked, glancing down. "You don't have to, of course, but you can if you're curious."

I was, indeed, curious. I propped myself up on my elbows and wrapped my fingers around his penis. It felt surprisingly heavy, both hard and soft, and unexpectedly smooth.

"What do I do with it?" I inquired.

"Why don't you try squeezing it?"

"Isn't it going to hurt?"

I had heard many tales about the sensitivity of male genitalia.

"I'll let you know if that's the case."

I squeezed softly; nothing happened. I squeezed harder; a low growl came from his chest. I wanted to retreat at first, but I realized he was enjoying it. I surfed the wave of confidence and did a few up-and-down motions, which is what came instinctively to me. The growl intensified. Eager to explore further, I let my thumb travel up and stroke his tip. The texture was different: softer and wet. As I thoughtlessly let my thumb pet his glans, I felt his penis spasm in my hand. I looked at him in panic, worried that I had done something wrong, but his eyes were closed and he was biting his lip. I assumed he was enjoying what I was doing. His enjoyment boosted my ego and I had the sudden urge to be more adventurous. I moved my hand down his shaft until I reached his testicles. I grabbed both his balls in one hand and wiggled them between my fingers. If I wasn't a mixture of nervous, aroused, and impatient already, I would have found the sensation hilarious. Josh was far from laughing either, for once. His lips parted, I could hear his ragged breathing.

"Okay Abby, I'm gonna have to take you right now before I lose my mind," he said with determination as he opened his eyes. "Is that okay for you?"

I agreed, let go of his balls and lied down on my back, parting my legs for him. He took a condom from his nightstand and swiftly put it on before positioning himself between my thighs. He stroked his tip between my wet labia a few times and presented it to the entrance of my vagina.

"I won't lie to you, love, it's going to hurt. But it won't last, I promise. Just tell me if you want to stop."

I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and braced myself.

He entered me slowly, but deliberately, until he couldn't go any deeper. The pain was sharp, it felt like my vagina was being stretched beyond what it could take. I held onto Josh, digging my nails in his back. A single tear escaped from my eye. He kissed it away.

"You're doing so well, love. A real champion."

His mouth went to my ear, which he submitted to the delicious torture I enjoyed so much. The pain between my legs started to fade, partly because my muscles were getting used to the intruder, partly because I couldn't focus on much more than what was going on with my ear. Very slowly and carefully, he withdrew his penis halfway and put it back in at the same speed, dissipating the pain. After a couple back-and-forth motions, my vagina seemed to have finally accommodated him. The pain was not completely gone but it was dull and easily manageable. He sensed the shift in my pain and took it as his cue to properly make love to me. He abandoned my ear and focused on his hip thrusts, which progressively gained in power and speed. Each time he penetrated me, a small moan escaped his lips. It did not take him long to be close. His hand reached between us for my clitoris and he made sure I came a few seconds before he came himself. As he ejaculated, he made three final deep and powerful thrusts into me that made my eyes roll back into my skull, before pulling out and collapsing on my chest, his heart beating as fast as mine, his breath as short as mine.

"You were amazing, Abby," he said as he kissed my neck. "I'll be back in a second."

He removed the used condom and went to the bathroom.

"Go pee," he said when he came back.

Excuse me?

"I don't need to. I'm so tired, I'll just go to sleep. Next to you."

He smirked.

"I know, love, but it's Sex Ed 101. You need to pee if you don't want to risk getting a UTI."

"Ugh!"

In a childish move, I took the duvet from the bed and rolled myself into it to cross the hall between his room and the bathroom. If I wasn't going to sleep immediately, neither was he. Also, he might have been fine roaming around the hallway buck-naked but I wasn't. What if I ran into his sister?

While I was in the bathroom, I decided I might as well do a quick rinse. The cool water on my warm flesh was soothing, and I was happy to get rid of the sweat too. I took a minute to look at myself in the mirror. I had red blotches all over my body, the result of Josh's not so gentle mouth on my skin. They would go away in a few minutes, when my skin had a chance to recover. Other than that, I looked exactly the same, yet I felt very different. I had just had sex, for heaven's sake! I had just experienced what I believed was the most amazing first time one could ever hope for. Josh was a keeper. Not that I had doubted it, but it was even truer now. I had a short victory dance in front of the mirror and rolled myself back into the duvet.

When I came back into the room, Josh had put his underwear back on and had taken out a tee-shirt and some boxers for me.

"I put your pajamas and underwear in the wash," he explained when he saw my puzzled look.

"Why?"

His damn smirk appeared on his lips again.

"You kind of soaked them through."

Mortified is what I felt. It must have been very obvious on my face – who am I kidding? Of course it was obvious – because he felt the need to reassure me.

"It's okay, love. This is nothing but a compliment. I'm glad you're sexually attracted to me."

I was still blushing and embarrassed but there was nothing I could do about it. I put on the clothes he had taken out for me and placed the duvet back on the bed. Josh sat down and gestured for me to sit on his lap, which I did. He pushed my hair on one side and grazed his lips on my exposed shoulder.

"How are you feeling?"

"I feel..." I tried to find the right word, "great."

A+ for originality.

"How's the fanny?"

I laughed at his grotesque British colloquialism.

"It's doing all right. A bit sore."

He placed his hand on said fanny. Not in a sexual way but in a soothing way. The heat from his fingers radiated through the fabric and reached my traumatized – in a good way – flesh. It helped with the soreness a bit. Dios mío, this boy was perfect.

"How are you doing?" I asked. "Was it any good for you?"

"Yes, love. It felt amazing. I just hate that I have caused you pain, seeing you cry was heartbreaking, as always."

"It's okay," I tried to reassure him. "It hurt but it went away fast. You did a great job distracting me from the pain."

"Are you sure? You bled a fair amount, you freaked me out for a second."

I'm sorry, what?

"I'm sorry, what?" I shrieked.

My eyes darted to where I was lying a few minutes earlier, horrified at the idea that I could have stained his bedsheets. As always, my face gave me away.

"Hey, hey! That's all right. The sheets are fine, and even if they weren't, it's nothing a wash cycle couldn't fix. Your blood was mostly, well, on my dick. And that's totally fine. I tossed the condom and rinsed the boy real quick. It's all good."

I curled into a ball on his lap, hiding my face between my knees out of embarrassment. He hugged me as tight as he could and kissed my shoulder.

"I love you, Abby. I'm in this relationship one thousand percent. It will take much more than a little blood to scare me away."

That. Right there. That sentence. That's one of the many reasons I fell in love with the guy. He was so kind, considerate, and non-judgmental. To this day, I still don't know what I did to deserve his love, I was just glad I had it. I felt so happy and loved, right there against his chest, that I couldn't help dissolving into tears.

"Sshh," he soothed me like he would a fussy baby. "No need to cry, love. You don't need to be embarrassed about anything with me."

"It's not that," I painfully said, my voice croaking.

"Huh? Then what is it?"

"I love you too," I managed to mumble before sobbing uncontrollably.

I felt him shake under me as he was suppressing a laugh.

"Why are you crying, then?"

"Those are tears of joy."

He pulled my chin up and gave me the most phenomenal kiss. After that, we finally went under the covers and fell asleep entangled in each other.

The following day, we had sex a lot. Josh had plans for us but they all went down the drain thanks to my horniness. In my defense, there was this vast section of life that I had just been given a taste of and was eager to explore. Who knew when I would have such an opportunity to be alone with him again? We spent the majority of the Sunday in bed, exploring my newly found sexuality. We eventually came down to the kitchen for breakfast and for lunch, fooled around in the swimming pool, and came back to his room. He dropped me off a block away from my house in the late afternoon, careful not to blow my cover with my parents. When I closed the front door behind me, I sighed in pure bliss. Man, I loved the guy.

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A/N: This chapter is just so swoony, I love it 😍
Sorry for the late post, I had a rugby game for a change. Next chapter on Monday, please vote and comment if you're enjoying this story so far.

Love,
Charlie.