Hey, welcome back guys and guys with no dicks, I just wanna touch base on a bitch who claims to be a great cook when she's just a clown. Rachael Ray, yes, this Rachael Ray. We all know her, we really wish we didn't.

I wonder if she's Gordon Ramsay's aborted sister that lived because she doesn't seem to do any research on classic Asian dishes and how to cook them. Rachael's like Jamie Olive Oil, always taking every Asian ingredient and putting them all together to make a clusterfuck of a dish that seems to be from Asia when it isn't.

She looks the younger female version of Up's Carl Fredericksen who dyed her hair black and is suffering from dementia that's so bad she did the research on Asian dishes and forgot to use key ingredients. He mouth is so big she could eat the entire world but she can't because she already ate all the garbage from her fucking kitchen.

I'm pretty sure her husband takes a bite from her meals, forces a smile saying that her dishes are really good and while her back is turned, he spits it out while throwing up.

When she's trying to feed all the kids around the world, she should try her own food and do research before serving them because at this point, I'd rather listen to Gordon Ramsay yell and curse out young chefs who fuck up dishes than watch one of Rachael Ray's cooking videos.

She looks like a smiling ghost that came out of Insidious...

...while her hair looked liked it's flailing around as if she's possessed by a demon. Her eyes are so black she might as well be from down below.

Honestly, if I were doing a cooking show for Good Morning, America and it got horrible reviews, I'd have it canceled and then kill myself, but Rachael Ray is one of those people that thinks that random ingredients for Asian dishes are okay when they really aren't.

A couple weeks ago, I made my mom's version of Chinese Egg Fried Rice and I did over 3 months of research before I got the right ingredients and made them how it was made before saying it was region inspired while this ugly ass bitch decided to not do any and just guess what they are.

Here's my EFR recipe:

- Heat a wok (mine was passed down from my grandfather. No, he wasn't Chinese, but he did work for a restaurant that served Chinese food and earned the right to earn a very pre-seasoned wok after working there for so many years) to the highest heat.
- Pour vegetable oil into the pan, dump it out after seeing the smoke point.
- Put in fresh oil.
- Add diced unseasoned chicken thigh.
- Add one diced garlic clove.
- Mix around with a wooden spoon until it starts to cook.
- Add stirred egg yolks, mix around again until the egg becomes fluffy and it's barely sticking to the wok.
- Add the rice (day old rice is seriously recommended because it'll be loose and less sticky).
- Stir fry the rice and make sure there aren't any clumps of it (make every grain of rice an individual grain).
- Add shredded carrots and green peas, stir fry again, mixing everything with the wooden spoon.
- Take a ladle, pour some soy sauce into it and splash the soy sauce onto the side of the pan, mix, and stir fry while adding some salt to taste (not too much since the soy sauce is very salty!).
- Add diced scallions for garnish, stir fry for one minute until the rice is done.
- Serve on a large plate for family and/or friends.

Just say that this recipe is region inspired, not authentic.

I always do research before cooking a dish like this one and Egg Fried Rice is one of the most traditional Asian dishes and I assumed Rachael Ray fucked it up so I don't have to watch the video since she makes me laugh all the fucking time.

If any of you support Ray's cooking and tried out her recipes, you should be ashamed of yourself. In fact, if you already took a bite of her food, you should stick your entire hand in your mouth and vomit.

If you never supported her, then just know that I will love you to your core because to me, fucking up Asian dishes should be considered a hate crime.

You're basically making every Asian ancestor cry with how you're ruining the dishes that make the Asian region what it is, authentic and traditional.

I'm really glad that I'm not related to this dumbass hypocrite. She's trying to say that she's all about being authentic and only authenticity she showed was explaining how bad she is at being a chef.

And writing this made me want to try making another Asian dish and that's butter chicken. So, I'm gonna get started on the yogurt marinade and let it sit like that, covered in Saran Wrap for 12 hours, making sure that the chicken's tenderized and then I can get started on that.

Yes, like I said, I do plenty of research before doing dishes like this so don't @ me if you feel offended.