Hey so, I had another update but that isn't as important and I can't really remember what it was, but let me get to the point and you'll understand why I skipped the humorous one I had for you.

So I have a great-grandma (Nanny) and she is the sweetest happiest soul I know at the age of 99 years of age. Having lost all her daughters-(let me explain to you the pain -all the pain that is.)

For those of you that aren't parents like me their is one thing you'll learn and know when becoming a parent, and that is.. your child is everything! The worse thing any good parent can imagine is having to watch their child pass away from them before THEY do. And it is so sad to see this happen...

My Nanny has had to watch that happen 3 times and let me just say she is a blessing and a miracle to go through that still loving God, wearing a smile, and making someone else's day. It's amazing... she's amazing.

But a week ago we were told she is getting dementia, and losing her hearing and going blind.. and that is scary.

For those of you that don't know what Dementia means let me sum it up: a person diagnosed  with this disease is basically going insane, losing their mind so to speak.

But just imagine.. being lost in the darkness not able to hear a sound and if someone touches her with her dementia she thinks someone is attacking her and it wears herself out... it's horrible and scary and very painful thing to have it makes a person suffer.

But today we were told when she was rushed to a hospital that she has leg cancer... (a very very "deadly" aggressive cancer.) the doctors have told us they can not do anything for her.. but make her comfortable..

In short she won't make it much longer..and I'm thankful in some way that she doesn't have to go through anymore pain and have been praying lately that Hod would just take away her pain and take her home, not because I don't want her here I do! I love her very much. But because I don't know if I could make it through watching her suffer.. I don't want her to suffer, not someone with a heart of Gopd like hers... but I also don't want her to go just yet... I didn't get enough time...

I'm sorry, if their are errors and autocorrect I can barely see the screen through my tears...

Anyway that's what's been going on in my life.. and will be going on..it's just really hard.. I've lost so many people.. young, old... animal, human, and it gets harder each time ..

That's all..

-commander out