Sophia usually only took two-hour power naps in the mornings after night shifts. She worked hard to keep a normal sleep schedule and enjoy her next days off. But, today, the image of a tired but attractive, grinning firefighter invaded her thoughts so often that it was a miracle that she even got part of the two hours.

With the power nap, however, also came the crushing return of self-doubt and negative thoughts. Sophia had been making herself lunch, right in the middle of spreading peanut butter on toast, when the voice came back in her head.

You'll probably never even see or talk to him again, not after you rambled on so much this morning. He was just being polite, listening to you.

Sophia put down the knife and took a deep breath, closing her eyes and employing some of the techniques she had worked on with her therapist. No, that was a ridiculous thought. He came up to her and voluntarily sat down with her to talk to her. And was actually interested in what she was saying. There's no reason why they wouldn't ever talk again.

Talking to herself helped a bit, but the fact that getting Graham's words in her head started up again so soon after meeting Dean was more than a bit unnerving. Sophia picked up her phone.

"Hey, are you busy right now? Can you come over?"

Half an hour later, Raina Alvi, Sophia's best friend in the entire world, stood in her doorway, two Starbucks Frappuccinos in hand.

A freelance interior designer, Raina was just about the most driven person Sophia knew. They had been roommates their freshman year of college, and even after graduation and getting their own places, they remained close as ever.

It was Raina who Sophia credited for saving her life.

"You have a client meeting?" Sophia asked. Raina was decked out in her professional best, and while she was always fashionable, some looks were solely for business. It was also thanks to Raina that Sophia had any type of style. She had once tried to go to a job interview in Sophomore Year dressed in a plain black suit. Raina had fixed that with a snap of her fingers.

"Two hours," Raina said, waving her hand like she hadn't a worry in the world. "I always have time for you."

Sophia loved her so much. "I'm sorry if you're busy, I really hate to pull you away from anything important," she said, chewing her lip nervously.

Raina stopped at the small island in the kitchen and narrowed her eyes. "Why are you apologizing for that when I already said it's fine?" she asked, her voice sharp with concern. "I thought we stopped apologizing for stupid things."

Sophia groaned and put her head in her hands. "I know, I know, I'm—" She stopped herself this time.

"Is this about this new guy?" Raina demanded. "Because if he fucking did something to you, I'm about to throw hands with the entire goddamn LAFD."

"Raina, Raina, no it's nothing like that," Sophia quickly reassured her, although she couldn't help but have to push down a smile at Raina's immediate defensive words. "It's not about him. Well, I guess it kind of is."

Raina eased herself onto one of the barstools. "Explain."

It didn't take long for Sophia to take Raina through everything that had happened with Dean and the return of Graham's voice in her head. By the time she was done, Raina was studying her with a thoughtful gaze.

"I mean, your therapist did say this might happen, right?"

Sophia sighed and then nodded. "Yeah. She always said that even if these thoughts mostly went away, there was always a chance something might trigger them to reappear. And that included..."

"When you started to have feelings for someone else," Raina finished gently. "And you really do like this guy, don't you?"

It took a moment, but Sophia nodded. "And that's the other thing," she continued. "I've met him, what, twice? Three times if you count the pier. Oh, shut up," she admonished as Raina snorted. "And not to mention, he was kind of a dick at the pier. So a third of the times I've met him, he's been a dick."

"Okay, I suppose that's true," Raina said, nodding slowly. "But do you remember when I broke my arm at that frat party senior year?"

Sophia raised an eyebrow. "Vehemently."

"And you remember how you behaved when I came into the emergency room that night when you were working?"

Sophia could see where she was going with this. "Maybe," she muttered.

"You were a dick," Raina said flatly. "But it's not because you are a dick, it's because you were scared. Based on how this guy apologized, it seems like maybe he had a similar reaction to being afraid."

"You say all of this, and I know it's true," Sophia said. "I just don't know if I can see him again."

"Why?"

"You know why."

Raina closed her eyes briefly. "I do," she said. "But is this just how it's going to be, Sophia? Every time you find someone you might like, you're just going to shut them out?"

"I really don't like hearing him in my head, Raina," Sophia snapped.

"I know," Raina said simply. "Look, Sophia, if what you really want is to stop seeing this guy, then I'm one hundred percent behind you. But is that what you really want?"

Sophia swallowed hard. Even as she took time to answer, she knew what her response was inevitably going to be. "No," she finally admitted, both to Raina and herself. "But I don't know what to do. I can't move fast with this, Raina, I just, I can't."

"Then don't," Raina reasoned.

"But I already am," Sophia said. "I've never liked someone this much, this fast."

"That doesn't mean you don't have self-control," Raina said. "And you're about as disciplined as they come, Sophia. You can still move slowly in the actual relationship with this guy."

"But what if he doesn't want to move slowly? Or what if he doesn't move at all?"

"Well, if he doesn't move at all, he's an idiot. And if he doesn't respect you wanting to move slowly, then run. You don't want him anyway."

"You're good at this, you know that?" Sophia said after taking a minute to process Raina's words.

Raina laughed. "You've seen the state of my love life, I wouldn't go that far." She squeezed Sophia's hand. "You don't have to come to any decision tonight," she reassured her. "Or even tomorrow. Or next week. But think about it."

"Have I mentioned I love you?"

"I mean not today, which is a travesty," Raina teased her. "But I suppose I already know."

And Sophia did take the day to think about what Raina had said. In fact, she spent most of her day thinking about what Raina had said. She just couldn't decide what she hated more: hearing Graham's voice in her head, or knowing that it was him keeping her from pursuing anything with anyone.

Especially when that someone was Dean.

"Oh, fuck it," Sophia muttered, and she grabbed her phone.

But before she could do anything, Dean's name lit up on her screen. Despite herself, Sophia's heart began to pound in her chest and a smile came up on her face. She didn't hesitate to answer the call. "Hello?"

"Hey." His voice was thick with sleep, and Sophia guessed he had just woken up from a well-deserved nap. She tried not to picture him with his hair all messed up, lying in bed. She very much failed. "I hope I didn't wake you up or anything."

"No, but it sounds like you just did," Sophia said, laughing.

Dean groaned. "Let me guess, you're one of those people who try and keep their sleep schedule as normal as possible despite the crazy hours we work?"

"Maybe."

Dean chuckled, sending Sophia's butterflies into a whirlwind. "You have to teach me how to do that."

Great, not she was thinking about what it would be like to sleep next to him. The butterflies were at a rave. "Maybe one day."

"You up to anything right now?"

"Oh, just waiting another two hours and twenty-three minutes until I allow myself to go to bed." All the while she would be thinking obsessively about Dean, but she didn't add that part in.

"You really have to teach me how you do that," Dean repeated. "Look, I hope it's okay that I called. I know we usually just text."

"It's fine," Sophia said quickly, feeling awkward even over the phone call. "I was actually thinking about calling you right now, anyway."

"Really?" Sophia could almost hear the smile that had just come up onto his face. "So you've been thinking about me?" he teased.

"And what if I was?" Sophia challenged.

"I would tell you that I've been thinking about you, too."

Silence fell on the line as Sophia digested his words. An unfamiliar warmth spread through her body.

"And um, I guess I just wanted to tell you something," Dean carried on, a hint of uncertainty in his voice. "You know, I've really liked spending time with you, um, but—"

And there it was. Sophia's heart sank. There was always a but.

"But I really hate that every time has been the result of happy coincidences. I don't want to have to rely on chance meetings to see you."

Oh.

"And I really like you and I usually wouldn't do this over the phone but I was wondering if you wanted to go on a date with me."

It was like all the air had been sucked out of Sophia's lungs. She was stunned, her mind completely blank. Unfortunately, her being stunned meant that the line went silent for a solid thirty seconds.

"Hey, Sophia?" Dean said, nerves apparent in his voice. "You still there? Look, if it's not what you want or I'm coming on too strong that's fine, really. We can pretend that this never happened if that would make things better."

"Yeah."

"Okay, yeah sure, I won't mention it again, no worries or anything."

"Wait, no." Sophia's brain caught up to what was going on in the rest of the world and what she had just said 'yeah' to. "Hold on, sorry, I was just processing." Realizing she was on the verge of rambling again, she took a deep breath to calm herself before saying anything else stupid. "The yeah was to the date," she clarified. It had taken her a moment to realize, but in reality, there was nothing she wanted to do more with Dean than to go on a date with him. "I would love to."

"Really?" The smile was back, both in his voice and on her face.

"Yes, really," Sophia said chuckling. "And I would prefer it if we did in fact mention this moment again. If not, it would make a date really awkward."

"When's your next day off?" Dean had no problems in allowing his eagerness to shine through.

"Tomorrow. And then the day after that."

Silence for a moment. "So I'll see you on the day after that?"

Sophia realized she was breaking her own desire to not move too quickly, but she agreed anyway. It would have felt wrong not to. "That would be great." Besides, while there hadn't been many dates in the past years, she never had any issue with laying down boundaries in the beginning.

"Do you want me to pick you up or meet there?"

"Where is there?" Sophia asked with half a laugh, secretly appreciating that he had even asked. Maybe it wouldn't be a big deal to some people, but it meant a lot to her.

"I'll let you know," he said. "Honestly, I really wasn't sure that you were going to say yes."

Sophia looked down at her lap. "Well, I did. And I'll meet you there. Wherever 'there' is."

"I'll see you soon, Sophia."

"Bye, Dean."

After hanging up, Sophia laid back on the couch, a wave of emotion washing over her. A date. Only hours after worrying to Raina about her feelings for Dean, Sophia had agreed to go on a date with a guy she had only met a few times. And she was excited about it.

"It's going to be great," she spoke aloud to herself. She didn't even give Graham's voice a chance to bring her down. "It's going to be great and you're going to have a good time because every time you've talked to this man you've felt more comfortable with him than almost anyone."
Sophia didn't realize those words were true until she had spoken them. But Dean really did make her feel safe. It wasn't something she had felt with a man in a really long time. Maybe ever.