Sophia leaned against the back of her couch. Her legs were too shaky to support her weight.

Two bags sat at her feet, and as Sophia glanced around her apartment, the painful reality that she might never get to come back here again twisted into her like a knife.

She wasn't even sure if she would be able to keep her resolve once Dean came through the door. There was a more than likely chance that she would see him and then pour out her heart to him and tell him everything that was going on.

Sophia hadn't slept at all. After she finished packing, she lay with her eyes open, staring at the dark ceiling, jumping at every bump and creak. She knew agents were watching her, and Graham sure as hell wouldn't chance coming here with them surrounding the building, but her subconscious hadn't gotten the memo. So she just had hours to think about what she was about to do, the hurt and shock she would see on Dean's face. It made her sick.

The nausea lasted, and now as Sophia waited for him, it became almost unbearable. But she held her ground. He would walk through those doors at any moment, and if she had any chance of doing what she needed to do, she couldn't give him the chance to be concerned. To be sweet. To be Dean.

Sophia flinched as keys scraped into the lock. Part of her almost would have preferred Graham to have walked through the door. Then she wouldn't have to do this.

But it was Dean. Of course, it was Dean, coming in looking tired but happy to see her, just as he always did. Sophia took in his face in the split second before he realized something was up. His slightly lopsided smile, his dark, wavy hair falling across his forehead, the light that always shone from his eyes but got just a little bit brighter whenever he saw her.

The light that she was about to extinguish with all the power of a firehose.

His face tightened when he saw the suitcases, confusion and panic flickering across his face. "Hey, Soph," he said cautiously, "is everything okay?"

Sophia swallowed hard, the sincere concern in his voice almost breaking her resolve. But, despite it being the last thing she wanted to do, she met his eyes, keeping her stare carefully neutral and refusing to cry. "I'm, um, I'm leaving, Dean."

Again, his eyes flickered to her suitcases. "I can see that," he said cautiously. "Where are you going? And, uh, why?"

She couldn't do this. God, she couldn't say the words. But then Graham's face flashed in her mind. She had to do this. "I'm leaving," she repeated. She held Dean's stare. "I'm leaving," she said, more forcefully.

Now, panic crept into his voice. "What are you leaving, Sophia?"

"I think you know."

"No." Dean shook his head, lurching toward her but then holding himself back. "No, Sophia, you need to tell me exactly what's going on with you."

"I can't do this anymore, Dean!" Sophia let her anger over the entire situation wash over her. "I want to break up."

Deathly silence filled the space between them, the air turning ice cold. Sophia held his stare as long as she could, but the pain in his eyes became too much for her to bear.

"Where is this coming from, Sophia?" He didn't even sound angry. In true Dean fashion, concern rang through his voice. "Are you okay? Just, tell me what's going on."

Why did he have to make this so difficult? "I'm fine," she said, trying to keep a bite to her voice. "At least I will be once I leave."

"Tell me what's going on, Sophia!"

"I don't want to do this anymore!" Sophia exclaimed, hating herself as she saw Dean flinch. "I'm not happy, Dean."

Dean stared at her, open-mouthed. "You're not happy," he repeated. "You're not happy with me."
Unable to speak, Sophia just shook her head.

"I just, I don't understand." Dean began to pace in front of her. "You've felt this way for a long time? I mean, you must since you've decided to, to leave."

"Yeah, I guess I have."

"Then why didn't you say anything?"

The tears almost came alongside the dejection in Dean's words. "I'm sorry." It was the truest thing she had said to him. "Maybe I should have, but I've made my decision, Dean. I need to leave."

"Sophia, we were talking about getting engaged!"

Sophia flinched. She had been praying he wouldn't bring that up, but it would have been too good to be true. "I know."

"You sent me engagement rings last week."

"I know."

"You said that you would never lie to me about how you felt about me," Dean said, his voice breaking. "Was that a lie? And everything else you told me when I asked you how you felt about getting engaged?"

Sophia needed to end this, now. "Yes. And no. I was confused, Dean. I didn't know what to think. I'm sorry, okay? I just, I need to go."

"Where are you even going?"

"A new job."

Dean scoffed. "So you're leaving everyone for a new job? May and Mateo at the hospital? You're leaving Raina?"

Sophia flinched at her best friend's name. Raina would probably blame Dean for her leaving, although if she ever got to tell her the truth, she would likely understand.

"I don't know what you want me to say, Dean. I'm leaving, and that's that."

"Sophia." He caught her arm as she tried to pass him, dragging her suitcases behind her. She didn't have the heart to jerk it out of his grasp.

"Dean, let me go."

"I will." Dean took a breath, and when Sophia looked up at him, her heart cracked at the tears in his eyes. "Of course, I will."

That's what Sophia had been counting on. No matter how much he hated the situation or he didn't believe her, she knew he would never take away her choice.

"But I need to know you don't love me. Not anymore."

The words failed on Sophia's tongue as Dean's eyes bore into hers.

"Sophia, if you can't even say it—"

"I don't love you, Dean." The words came out more forcefully than she would have liked, but it was the only way she could get them out.

He flinched away from her, his hand dropping from his arm, but Sophia didn't move.

"I don't believe you."

Sophia closed her eyes and sighed. "Dean—"

"I. Don't. Believe. You."

She just stared at him.

"About any of it. I don't think you want to break up. I don't think you're unhappy with me. Or that you were lying when we talked about getting engaged. And I sure as hell don't think you don't love me anymore."

"Are you done?"

"I know you better than anyone, Sophia. Maybe I don't know why you're doing this, but I know it's not because of what we have together."

Sophia just stared at him.

Dean gripped the door handle and pulled it open for her. "I'll be here for you, Sophia," he said softly, his own tears running down his face. "Just, please be okay. I'm begging you. And please come back to me. I told you before that I'm completely yours. That's not going to change. I love you more than anything."

The truth was on the tip of Sophia's tongue, but she wrestled it back, swallowing hard and almost gagging on it. "Forget about me, Dean," she whispered. "I'm leaving, and I'm not coming back. You won't see me around, and I'm not coming back. I don't have any reason to."

Unable to bear the fading of the last bit of light in Dean's eyes, she dragged her suitcases through the door, slamming it closed on the agony written all over the love of her life's face.

Sophia almost lost it right then and there in the hallway, but by some miracle and strength she didn't know she had, she kept walking. To the elevator, to her car, and managed to drive without crashing to the address Travers gave her.

She only let herself cry once she was in the car with the agent, Travers assuring her the Feds would take care of her own car. But they were silent tears, streaming down Sophia's face in an endless river as she faced out the window. She didn't even care that Travers probably knew exactly what she was doing. She didn't care about anything, anymore.

But she pulled herself together once they got to the F.B.I. building. Sophia wiped her face with her sleeve and put on a stony face. No more tears. She made her choice, and now she would live with it.

The next several hours passed in a blur. Agents had her call her job to officially quit and then anyone else who might be asking questions. Sophia spoke and hung up quickly when she talked to May and Mateo, but thankfully, got sent to voicemail when she called Raina. Sophia could break up with Dean and say goodbye to May and Mateo, but if she talked to Raina, her best friend would know something was up. And she doubted there was a force on the earth that would stop Raina from figuring it out.

She found out where she would be going, New York City, and that she would have an agent in charge of her protection once she got there. She would be introduced to that agent in New York. Agents went through her bags and pulled out anything that would indicate her connection to Los Angeles.

Sophia kept Dean's L.A.F.D. shirt stuffed in the pocket of her giant, non-descript sweatshirt. She would fight tooth and nail to keep from being parted from that.

And then all that was left was to load her onto a Bureau jet and take off for New York. Sophia didn't do anything during the flight. She didn't sleep; she didn't eat. She just stared at the passing landscape below her as she put mile after mile between her and her own life.

Raina would forgive her. Sophia was certain of that. She knew Graham. She knew what he was capable of. If Sophia could tell her best friend the entire story one day, Raina would forgive her in a heartbeat.

May and Mateo too, probably. They knew enough, already, and besides, her exit wouldn't affect them as much as others.

Even Dean. Dean. Sophia's already shattered heart crumbled into a few more shards when she thought of his name. He would probably forgive her, but not to the point where he would want to have anything to do with her. There's no way he could trust her after this. And Sophia couldn't blame him.

Not to mention, everyone in his life would probably hate her. Alicia, Carson, Scott, the rest of his firehouse.

Sandy.

Sophia shuddered and clenched her eyes tight when she thought about Dean's mom. His mom, who had been nothing but incredible to her the moment the two of them met. Sandy, who was the closest thing Sophia had ever gotten to a maternal figure in her life. Rightfully so, she would be completely on Dean's side. Which meant she would probably be furious at Sophia for breaking his heart. No, there was no coming back from this when it came to Sandy.

"Ms. Shelby?"

Travers's voice jerked Sophia out of her thoughts.

"We're here."

Sophia looked out the window, and couldn't help but gape as she saw the Manhattan skyline beneath her, the Brooklyn bridge connecting the different parts of the city. So much life, so different from the sprawling metropolitan Los Angeles area.

Sophia's new home.

Except nothing felt farther from home than the city below her.

She left home back with Dean, and she was never getting it back.