Everything sucked. Everything sucked so bad that Sophia forgot to think about the F.B.I. and Graham and all the other reasons that her life sucked. She had to meet with H.R., again. They were meeting with everyone who wasn't medical personnel who assisted first responders during the emergency.

Sophia appreciated their sensitivity to how all of this would affect people who weren't used to seeing death on a regular basis. But all she wanted to do was go home.

"I see you've finished your mandated H.R. therapy session."

Sophia walked out of the office, her head drooping, as Blake's sarcastic voice met her ears. He sat in the E.R. waiting room, eyes red and shoulders slumped.

"Yeah, well, gotta make sure us nonmedical personnel aren't too traumatized." She matched his sarcasm with her own.

"Did it work?"

"I'll let you know tomorrow, see how many nightmares I get tonight."

He let out a half-hearted snort.

"You okay?"

He sighed. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just, you know, too many bodies, not enough patients, and yet somehow not enough chaos."

If there was any way to sum up their day, that was it. "You going home?"

"I'm getting a drink," Blake said pointedly, standing up. He gave her a slightly wary look. "Wanna come?"

The refusal was on the tip of Sophia's tongue, but then she stalled. "Okay." The single word surprised even her.

Blake's eyebrows shot up a fraction, but he just nodded. "Cool. Preference to where we go?"

"Nope."

Which meant Blake walked them to a bar about ten blocks from the hospital, close enough that they could walk but far enough away to leave the continuing rescue efforts behind them. They'd probably be going for days.

Unfortunately, the collapse was all that was showing on the news, and every TV in every bar was playing the news. Neither of them wanted to relive the past twelve hours, so they found themselves in the back corner of a bar that miraculously only had one television.

Sophia grimaced as she took a long sip of her tequila soda. It didn't help that she hadn't had anything to drink in almost two months.

"You do well under pressure."

Sophia eyed Blake as he tilted his glass around in a circle, his eyes on the alcohol and not her. "Yep." She didn't bother denying it.

"Not exactly what I would expect from someone in admin."

"I expect not."

"You've done shit like that before."

Sophia thought about it. "Well, not exactly like that," she said. "But yeah, I guess I have."

"And you're not going to tell me about it."

She slowly shook her head. "Not that much has changed."

Blake let out a sharp laugh. "No, I guess not."

Sophia watched him carefully. If there was one thing he could say about Blake, it's that he cared. And this day must have taken a toll on him.

"Sorry," he said. "I don't mean to be snappy."

"I think we both have a right to be snappy today," Sophia pointed out. "Today sucked."

"Today sucked," Blake agreed. But then his gaze softened and his shoulders dropped. "But thanks for stepping up, that takes guts."

Sophia shrugged. "I guess I have a lot of those."

Blake let out a bark of laughter. "I'll say. I still remember that day you first came into the E.R. Most people when they first step in there are like a deer in headlights, there's always so much going on even if there's no emergency. But you were so calm, just looking around, almost like you assessing the place. It almost looked like you belonged there."

Sophia shifted in her seat. "I mean, I guess it's not the first E.R. I've been in," she said. "That must be it."

"I guess." He clearly didn't believe her. "But seeing you then? Well, I figure it would have been hard for anyone not to fall for you, just a little bit."

Sophia shifted again. "Blake," she said, not wanting to hurt him but also not wanting this to go any farther than it already had.

"And maybe this isn't the best time for me to admit that I've been harboring a crush on you all this time," he said, "after everything that's happened. But then again, we could both be killed in thirty seconds if this building decides to collapse on all of us, so why the hell not?"

Sophia knew what he was going through. Every once and a while, people in professions who dealt with death and loss had crises surrounding their own mortality. But that didn't mean she wasn't going to shut this down, in the nicest way she could.

"Blake, I'm flattered, really," she said, quietly, but he was already shaking his head.

"Yeah, I get it, you're not interested."

Sophia sighed. He was nice, and smart, and a little cocky which wasn't really her thing but as far as doctors went, wasn't out of the ordinary. In another life where she went to nursing school in New York instead of L.A., maybe. But...

"I know this never means much, but it's not you. Really."

He raised an eyebrow. "Don't worry about it, Sadie. Really. I don't want you to think that I'm trying to guilt you into anything."

"I don't," she said flatly. "But I also don't want you to think that it's because of you. You're a good guy, and despite my best efforts, I do like you."

"You seem to be putting in a lot of effort to push a lot of people away."
"Oh?"

"Believe it or not, I'm friendly with a lot of people at the hospital."

Ah. So Sophia's lack of interaction with her admin coworkers must have gotten back to him. "Look, when I move here, I went through a breakup. Like, a nuclear bad breakup."

Understanding flashed in Blake's eyes. "Did you break up because you moved, or moved because you broke up?"

"The first one." Sophia sighed and closed her eyes, Dean's face flashing in her mind for just a moment.

"He broke up with you because he didn't want to move out with you?"

Sophia gave a wry smile. "That's the kicker. He didn't break up with me. I broke up with me."

That certainly piqued Blake's interest. "So, you wanted to move, and you broke up with him?"

"More or less."

"Why?"

Sophia drained her glass. "It's a long story. And one that he doesn't even know about."

"So, you broke up with him, moved, and he doesn't know why?"

"Yep."

"Wow."

"Wow, indeed."

Sophia waited for judgment, but it never came. "Not running for the hills, yet?" she joked.

"I mean, you don't seem like an unreasonable person," Blake said. "So I assume you had your reasons. But I'm also guessing that one of those reasons wasn't that you didn't want to be together anymore."

Sophia's already broken heart fractured a little bit more. "You would be correct."

"Well, shit." Blake set his glass down with a heavy thunk. "That sucks."

She couldn't help but let out a bark of laughter. "That's all you have to say?"

"Well, I'd ask what happened, but you wouldn't tell me. So there's really not that much to say. No wonder you're so crabby all the time."

"Hey!" Sophia exclaimed indignantly. "That's rude."

"It's true."

"Oh, shut up."

Blake chuckled. "And I guess that does make me feel better." He paused. "Although, hold on, how long were you together?"

"Almost two years."

Blake nodded. "Okay, that makes me feel better. If you turned me down for like, a three-week relationship or something, I would have been a little hurt."

Sophia laughed. "If it was only three weeks I'd probably be over it by now."

"Probably." Blake grew quiet. "Do you think you'll ever go back?"

"To him?" Sophia closed her eyes, letting herself imagine the reunion scene that she had kept on the edges of her mind. The thought made her whole body ache. "I don't know. I mean, what would you do? If you were dating someone for almost two years, you lived together, and then she just left with nothing but a bullshit explanation? And then comes back however many months later?"

Blake didn't answer right away. "I'd be concerned," he finally said. "Not knowing where that person was going or why they were doing what they were doing. I'd probably be glad to know that they were safe, at the very least. And then, I don't know, I'd probably feel like I would be owed an explanation. And maybe if that explanation was good enough," he shrugged, "maybe something could work out."

His words fueled the hope in Sophia's heart that she had been so desperately pushing down.

"But, I don't know your explanation," he said. "So I couldn't say. But you still love him?"

Sophia nodded.

"And he loves you?"

She shrugged. "He did, at least."

"Then who knows." Blake drained his glass. "Can you see yourself with anyone else?"
Sophia shook her head.

"Then there's no harm in trying, right?"

She studied him. "You're good at this, you know that?"

He laughed. "I didn't end up going that route, but my psych rotation when I was a resident was fascinating to me."

"Well, I don't know if you're interested," Sophia said, "but people keep telling me that I could use more friends. And, well, we already seem to be halfway there."

"Sadie, do you think I'm one of those assholes who want a relationship or nothing at all?" Blake asked in mock sincerity.

"That's not really your vibe, no."

"I'm cool with friends," he said. "Especially after listening to all of that, that's a lot to deal with early in a relationship."

"Hey!" Sophia protested, but appreciating him not tiptoeing around everything she just told him like she was made of glass. "Don't make me regret this."

"Oh, you'll probably regret this," Blake told her. "All of my friends find me quite annoying."

"Great."

"So, how is New York City treating you?" he asked. "What?" he said when she gave him a suspicious look. "That's always the question transplants get. It can be hard to adjust."

"Honestly, I haven't been out enough to even think about adjusting," Sophia admitted. "I just take the subway to and from work and the grocery store." Not to mention, she had more on her mind to worry about than subway rats and people being rude.

"You haven't done anything?" Blake stared at her. "Central Park? Hudson River? Bryant Park movie nights? Battery Park? Brooklyn Bridge?

"Yeah, I get that you're saying words, but they mean nothing."

He scoffed. "Where did you come from? Kansas?"

"Not exactly."

"Whatever. Next time I have a weekend day off, we're going sightseeing."

"Oh, are we?"

"Put on your walking shoes, Sadie. No point in being in New York if you're just going to sit in your apartment the whole time."

"Great. Well then, I guess I will make sure my weekends are free."

He gave her a doubtful look.

"Oh, shut up." She let out a breath and glanced at the clock. "As fun as this has been, I should probably get home. Don't want to overwhelm me with too much socialization."

"I doubt you get overwhelmed easily, but fair enough. Lord knows I could use the rest."

They got up and paid their tab, not rushing to get to the subway station.

"Look, thanks for coming here with me," Blake said. "It's good to get my mind off of things."
"Trust me, I get it," Sophia said. "And I'm sorry I'm always so crabby."

He chuckled. "I think I can get used to it." They reached the station where they would part ways. "See you tomorrow?"

She nodded. "Grab lunch?"

"Sounds good. Get home safe, Sadie."

"You, too, Blake."