After a week of office work, Sophia was about ready to explode. It didn't help that she couldn't get used to being called Sadie. Her coworkers were trying to be friendly by talking to her and inviting her out after work, but every time they used the fake name, Sophia wanted to rip their heads off.

What also didn't help was despite the magnitude of lunch and drink invites, Sophia declined them all. Her days passed by going to the hospital, spending eight hours on spreadsheets, and then going home to an empty apartment that only served to make Sophia feel more hollow inside than she already did.

But regardless, Sophia had settled into her desk for her fifth day at the job, looking forward to the weekend even though she had absolutely nothing planned. At least she wouldn't have to look at spreadsheets, or socialize with anyone calling her 'Sadie.'

"Hey, Sadie."

Suppressing the urge to murder, Sophia looked up as Ronnie approached her desk. "Morning, Ronnie."

"Morning." Ronnie held out a manila folder. "Would you be able to do a quick favor and run this down to Ms. Shields?"

"Ms. Shields?" Sophia asked, taking the folder.

"Head of patient services," Ronnie supplied. "Her office is down on the first floor. Just follow the signs for the emergency room. Her office is just before you get there, you can't miss it."

The emergency room. Even though she wouldn't be actually going there, Sophia's heart gave a small leap. "Yeah, sure," she said, trying not to sound excited. That would only raise questions. Sophia hadn't shown excitement the entire week she had worked in the department.

"Thanks so much."

Sophia took her time walking down the stairs to make the trip to Ms. Shields's office. She had no desire to spend more time at her desk than necessary. And it gave her the opportunity to see a little bit more of the hospital.

It was still early, so a lot of employees were still arriving, at least those who got to work nine to five and did not pull overnight shifts. She passed radiology, then the pharmacy, and then oncology. Her heart did a pang as she thought of Evie.

Finally, she closed in on the emergency room. Doctors and nurses hustled back and forth, everyone looking busy but not panicked. As much as it hurt to be back in the environment, smelling the cleaning products they used and hearing the chatter of the staff, it was the most at home Sophia had felt since she moved to New York.

Ronnie was right; the office was impossible to miss. Just before the doors that led into the emergency room, an office door sat wide open, the name 'Jessica Shields' labeled on the wall next to it. Sophia slowly approached the open door and tapped lightly, and Ms. Shields looked up briefly and waved her in.

"Yes, yes, thank you," Ms. Shields was saying into her phone. "I'll make sure it gets done."

Sophia held up the manilla folder, and Ms. Shields nodded and gestured to her desk. Not wanting to interrupt whatever conversation the head of patient services was caught up in, Sophia dropped the folder and slipped out of the room.

But she paused before heading back up to her office. Sophia glanced toward the doors leading into the emergency room, wrestling with herself. She had no reason to go in there, and might raise questions, but what harm would a quick look do? No one seemed to be dealing with a crisis, so she wouldn't get in the way.

Her legs made the decision before the rest of her could, and Sophia found herself approaching the doors. A pair of nurses came out, and Sophia slipped inside.

The layout was slightly different from the UCLA Ronald Reagan Medical Center, but that didn't matter all that much. The nurses standing together at their station, doctors chugging cups of coffee, technicians hurrying from bed to bed, and social workers deep in conversation with each other immediately made Sophia feel like she stepped into her home.

And in the same way that hearing Dean's voice did, it hurt like hell.

No one paid any attention to her, and Sophia couldn't blame them. If a random admin worker had come down to the E.R. when Sophia had been working as a nurse, she wouldn't have really paid them any attention either.

Once again, tears threatened and Sophia felt her chest tighten. Wondering if she had made yet another mistake, she spun around to make a hasty exit.

"Hi there."

Sophia froze as she turned back toward the doors. A doctor had come up behind her, and he stared down at her with a questioning, but not confrontational, gaze.

"Hi, sorry," Sophia mumbled. "I was just leaving."

"Not often we get admin workers down here," he commented.

"I was just delivering something to Ms. Shields," Sophia explained, wanting nothing more but to get out of there. "I haven't seen much of the hospital, I only just started working here." Sophia was getting very talented at telling half-truths.

"What's your name?" The doctor flashed her a smile.

It was the type of smile that would give a lot of women butterflies. The type that meant the man knew exactly what he was doing, and wasn't afraid to own it. The type that could lead to a lot more than just a smile.

It was the type of smile that Sophia couldn't stomach to see.

"Sadie," she said. She had gotten a lot better at not hesitating. "And I should really be getting back."

"Dr. Blake Rhodes." He held out his hand.

Sophia took it if only to get him to let her leave. "Nice to meet you."

"Likewise." There was that smile again. "Hope to see you around sometime."

"Last I checked, doctors don't spend all that much time in admin," Sophia said drily. "So I doubt it."

"You never know."

Sophia didn't bother with a reply. She just left.

And she felt disgusting. She had no reason to. She hadn't done anything wrong, just exchanged a few words with a doctor who came up and started talking to her. She hadn't flirted, in fact, she had done basically the opposite of flirting.

But she hated that she had noticed that he was attractive. And that in itself was enough to make her feel guilty. Even though technically, she and Dean weren't together. No, she had seen to that herself.

Halfway back to her department, Sophia paused in an empty hallway, wrapping her arms around her stomach and leaning against the wall, bending over slightly.

It was becoming very clear to her that doing things that reminded her of her previous life would only serve to make things more difficult, here. And while she couldn't say for certain, Sophia had a feeling that Jamie wouldn't be happy if she found out Sophia was hanging out in the emergency room.

Not to mention, with all of her life's current complications, the last thing she needed was some stupid doctor with a stupid crush.