~.🐚.''.🥥.''~❀˖ °⋆

HAPPINESS. ISN'T THAT A WEIRD EMOTION for me to admit to having?

There used to be a part of me that wouldn't let happiness in. If I did, it'd be spurts. Because if I felt it too much—I'd lose it all.

To be fair, that's the cycle. At least it was for a long time.

Something good would happen and I'd wait for the ball to drop. Nails digging into the lump of happiness I did have—but a part of me finding comfort in aching. So, I sat, frozen and ready after we got the money. It never really happened. There was fleets of sadness. But never emptiness. Even in the most difficult of times.

18 MONTHS EARLIER

1.1 MILLIONS DOLLARS. MY REPERCUSSIONS for the hell that was those 3 months of finding the gold. Well, it wasn't all hell.

A majority was though.

A breeze rattles through the Maybank backyard. The ghost of JJ"s abuse lingering over my shoulders. JJ"s arm rests comfortably around my shoulders as I look over each of my friends reveling in our win. Now, figuring out what to do with the win.

JJ jumps up in excitement, tapping his head as if he has the greatest plan ever. "Hear me out. Rally truck with yellow LEDs to replace the Twinkie for right now!" JJ suggests. It's met with a collective no. I roll my lip in disgust at the thought, "No. Definitely not."

"You are so Southern, boy," Bailey says with a country accent. "I'm not getting rid of the Twinkie," John B pipes up next to me. "But with solar panels, maybe?" Kie adds. "And a bigger boat," Cleo adds to the list. "I miss the HMS though," i pout. JJ"s hand comes down to rub my shoulder, "We can get a bigger one, sunshine. And you don't even like boats."

A scoff exits my lips as I playfully shoo my boyfriend's affection off me. "Guys—" Pope tries to speak up but everyone continues to ramble, "Guys! Hold up," He speaks louder, quieting everyone, "It's not like we can all go off and buy houses or anything. I mean, spilt between all of us, that's about $137,000 each. Minus what we owe Barracuda Mike."

                "Let him try and take this. I'll mess him up," JJ confidently says. My eyes roll but a smile still frames my face, even at my boyfriend's antics. "I'm—I'm not—we are paying the drug dealer," Bailey remarks, making Kie giggle. "Yeah, gotta agree. I don't wanna piss off the drug dealer," John B shrugs. "Listen, if we divide this up, we're all gonna blow it," Pope says and eyes fall between JJ and I.

              I quirk an eyebrow. I would not blow my money. I just simply would not. I grew up poor. I know how to manage money. I'm just buying a Corvette and Piper's headstone. Simple.

                  "I have only two plans with my money," I exclaim, throwing up two fingers but I still get a groan of annoyance from them. "Why are you all looking at us–at me–like that?" JJ asks defensively. Now, JJ would blow his money. "Two plans?" Sarah asks me. I lean forward, sighing, "Yeah, Piper's headstone," They all nod in agreement, "And a Corvette—"

                "What?!"

                 "Dude, no—"

             "Guys, guys. I'd lease it," I smile. That's like, less money in the end.....right? That answer doesn't satisfy anyone. I feel like a child in the corner. I roll my eyes and sit back, "I'll buy a used one—"

               "Sam—"

                "John B—"

                "Okay, enough. If we pool our money together, we can create something with actual economies of scale. If we make money, we can eventually buy our own things, yeah?" Pope's eyes land on me. I have to agree with him though. A business is smart. Constant money in flow. Never have to worry about a damn thing again.

                     "Okay, like what?" Kie questions. "You remember the island," Pope speaks as if we'd all somehow lose it from our memories, "I mean, it was our own island, and we built everything from basically nothing, right?"

                  Even if I hated the sand and the weight of me murdering my father was burying me in said sand, it was fun. It was a piece of the journey I wouldn't call hell—all the time. "It was perfect," Kie smiles fondly. "The best life," Cleo grins. "That whole island just to ourselves. All of us together," Sarah adds to the fondness.

                   Pope sighs happily, "I think we can have that again. Right here. JJ's property is going up for auction, right? So, lets buy it back. I mean, look around. A lot of land. Deepwater access. Unless any of you are planning on going back to school, we're gonna need a place to work and a place to stay and live. I think we can have both of those things here."

                  Warmth fills my chest. Since I was 12 I knew I wanted to be with these people the rest of my life. And then Kie and Cleo and Sarah and Bailey were added. With even the rough times, these are the people I want to be around. A home. One JJ feels safe in. One I will officially feel safe in with Weston gone.

                       "First things first, we get the land, right? And then over there we could build, like, a surf shop. And then maybe we can build our own dock!" Pope points all over the property. Ideas spark my brain, lighting up the warmth to fill me more. A goofy, big grin is plastered onto my face. We can do this.

                     "This place needs a dock," Kie says excitedly. I squeal, clapping my hands together as this all falls into place. "Oh! What about a bait and tackle shop!" John B suggests. "Exactly! And who knows these waters better than us? JJ, you could get a new boat and run a fishing charter!" Pope chuckles. I look up at my boyfriend who is doing a shit job of hiding his grin. I gently grab one of his hands, making him look down at me. As soon as he does, the facade drops and the smile erupts.

                    Anything to keep that on his face. Anything.

                       "We can all live and sleep in the house!" Pope continues on, "We can do this guys. I know we can."

                      "Fuck yeah we can," Bailey smirks. "Oh! That's what I'm talking about, guys!" JJ jumps around, dragging me to my feet as well. Happiness engulfs us as we all fall into a hug, looking towards the future in the brightest way for the first time in forever.

                THERE ARE JUST SOME THINGS I DON'T question in life.

                 One of them being Pope's plans. I really can't remember a time one of them didn't work. I look around the Pogues and I, eyeing the competition that consists of just rich people and us—eight nineteen year olds. Yet, I'm not scared. Not when Pope has a plan.

                   "We go up in one dollar increments, alright?" Pope says sternly to JJ, "It's gonna take a while, but we're gonna need to save every cent for construction. "

                        My eyes shift from Pope to JJ, "Got it?" I tell him. JJ takes a deep breath and hums a response. "Nuh uh. Verbal," I press my lips together. JJ rolls his eyes, adjusting his hat, "I got it, babe."

                       I eye him for another second, narrowing my eyes and he nods. He wants this more than we do so, I just have to trust he'll listen to Pope. The auctioneer speaks loudly, displaying an image of the Maybank residence. ".....it is the foreclosure sale of 14 Rogers Point Road," He reads out JJ's address. I unclench and clench my hands. I'm not scared but damn is this nerve racking.

                    "Now, this is the old Maybank place. Now, the bank has a bidding of $80,000...."

                     "Here we go," Pope whispers. I nod swiftly at him while my hand reaches for JJ's. I feel his hands intertwine. I feel his ring press against my skin and a small sigh of relief flows through me. Three years with him and he's still the only person to make me feel this calm.

                    The auctioneer begins the bidding at $81,000.

                     "$80,000 and one dollar," Pope starts, hand in the air. I hear the murmurs in the crowd, questioning why we're even here. They have to know who JJ is, right?

               "Okay. One dollar more at $80,00, one dollar....."

                 "$80,500!" A man announces behind us. A twinge of anger makes me spin around, locking eyes with a bald man who has his hand up. He's bald. He doesn't need this.

                      "Sam, don't mean mug them," Bailey whispers. My tongue sucks against my teeth as I roll my eyes at her. She's right though. It'll just piss them off more, more enticement to get the land.

                   JJ's hands tenses around mine. I squeeze back, "We're all good, baby. Promise." His tongue swirls around his mouth nervously and shaking his right leg. He needs this win. We all do. We got the gold and the money but this is where it all starts. When we get this land.

                   "$80,500 going once...."

              I watch as Pope goes to raise his hand, lips parted. "$100k flat out. Right here," JJ suddenly announces, interrupting Pope and—screwing up the plan. My eyes widen, annoyance at him building up. We're all glaring at him now. "Babe......what did we just say not even two minutes ago?!" I lightly smack his bicep. He shrugs like it's nothing. We're trying to get the lowest price here and he's messing it up. "Hey, what are you doing?" Pope angrily whispers.

                  "Guys, it's just a knockout punch. Knockout punch and we're a wrap," JJ tells us. My head falls to my hands. Three years and I still haven't gotten him to think before doing.

                   "That's not the plan!" Pope exclaims. "I got the shit done!" JJ counters. "Do you realize how much construction is, JJ?" Bailey hisses. "Yes, Perez. I am aware," JJ answers. I'm getting a headache already. I should've just told Brandon and Justin to do this. They'd be more respected here. Now, we're fucked.

                            "I got $100,00 dollars right here," The auctioneer points to JJ, "...is going once, $100,000 is going twice...."

                      Okay, maybe there is hope. Maybe JJ's overshot worked. There's no way anyone thinks it's worth more than that.

                        "$150k," A man offers from behind us.

                        Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

                         I see the man to the right of JJ and I. A fancy suit and overpriced sunglasses. Son of a bitch.

                     "$150,000 from Mr. Zeasy!"

                   And he's got a stupid name. Unfortunate.

                  "Good to see you, Dale at 150!"

                   "Good to see you, Rog. Just give me one second here, would ya?" Dale interrupts. I watch as he walks over to us. My shoulders straighten. Daggers I'm shooting from eyes as sharp as ever. He stands next to JJ, "You know, uh, The Cut is gonna be Figure 8 in a few years. You walk away now, you won't have to scurry off with your tail between your legs, and I'll, uh, give you a little taste on the back end."

                       An audible scoff leaves my mouth. Not like I planned on hiding my distaste for Dale Zeasy anyway. A string of insults dangle on my tongue but I hold back, waiting for JJ to defend himself. "Dale, was it?" JJ asks smugly. "That's correct," Dale answers with the same amount of smugness.

                        "It's not happenin', hoss," JJ says with a smirk. He lets go of my hand to crack all his knuckles, "Let's play ball." Okay, yeah, now we're really screwed. There's a collective sigh from my friends and I as the auction begins again. My arms are crossed, anxiety wailing on my body.

                 My number keeps going up. And up. And up.

                    My brain short circuits at $775k.

                 "Babe, you need to stop," I whisper. "No, no. We're so close, sunshine," JJ smiles, holding my shoulders. I move away from his touch. Petty, I know. But we had a fucking plan. We have $1.1 million dollars. Not fucking infinite.

                       "Will you make him stop, please?" Sarah bitterly asks John B. JB glances at me, as if asking for permission. I swing my arms, gesturing for him to do whatever he needs. John B walks over, grabbing JJ's half raised hand, "Hey. Please. It's too much."

                      "Just let me handle this. I've got it," JJ assures him, pushing John B's hands off of him. "If you're not gonna listen to me OR Pope, listen to John B," I tell JJ through gritted teeth but he's still fighting off our best friend. "$775,010, right here, sir!" JJ announces over John B's shoulder. Now, I'd never punch JJ but, I am thinking about smacking him upside the damn head.

                     That was more than half of the money.

                        I move between JJ and John B as the auctioneer repeats the price, "Dude, you can't be serious!"

                          "We have the land now! I know it!" JJ retorts back to me. I shake my head as if to wake up from my boyfriend's dumbassery, "That's not the problem, JJ!"

                    "Oh my God!" Pope yells, throwing his hands in the air.

                       "That's too rich for my blood, Rog," Dale speaks up. I mock the man under my breath, hoping he heard it. "775,010 bidding, looking for 8......" The auctioneer yells and I hold my breath, waiting to see if someone else wants to make this ten times harder for us.

                         He calls for it once. Twice.

                    "Sold to the gentleman in the red!"

                       I should have felt a weight lifted from my body. There was small one, sure. But hearing JJ celebrate very quickly reminds me how much money we all just lost. JJ grins at me but takes note of my pressed lips and turns away, talking to Dale. This is ridiculous. I know it means a lot to him. Not because it's his home but because he wants to make it a proper one.

                      I just can't look at him right now.

                      I shuffle over to the others, "I tried."

                     "We know, Sam," Kie sighs, rubbing my shoulder. JJ comes back over and wraps his arms around John B, "I get shit done. We got it! That's all that matters! Whooo!" JJ yells as he grabs the rights to the land.

                   "I'm cursing him out as soon as we get outta here," I say, staring at JJ. "Not before Pope does," Cleo points to Pope who is currently pacing the ground. "Probably not," I click my tongue.

                  "LADIES AND GENTLEMAN!" JJ YELLS as he rips off the caution tape from around the door, "I christen thee Poguelandia 2.0!"

                      I stand right behind JJ, less angry but still very pissed. A part of me melts though when I see his soft blue eyes land on mine, happiness brimming every corner of his. "Let's turn this piece of shit into our home," JJ remarks before landing a quick kiss to my head.

                       The last time we were in here we were running from Barracuda Mike, figuring it'd be the last time we'd ever step foot here.

                     A shaky breath rattles me but I smile back up at JJ, "Let's."

                  IF I AM BEING HONEST, building a house is nothing like Minecraft.

                Rotten wood snaps in my hand and I let out a string of curses as dust flies into my face. "Goddamn, this looks like shit," The sound of Blake's voice makes my annoyed face twist into a smile. "Blake!" I exclaim, dropping the wood, "Sorry, Cleo!"

                     "It's alright, man. Hi, Blake," She waves, dusting her hands off. Blake waves back but I tackle him into a hug. Blake and Vanessa decided to stay on mainland for a while after everything. Can't really blame them. It was mostly Vanessa's idea. If it was up to Blake, he'd stay for Marcus and I.

                     To me, it was probably better for my siblings to stay away. I was convinced that maybe I was one of those family annihilators. Of course, they don't know because—I still haven't told them.

                    Y'know, about Weston.

                     Whoops?

                       "I was just with Marcus but uh, he said you bought him a new skateboard?" Blake questions. "Huh?" Cleo calls out from the house, "You bought the boy a skateboard? When, Sam?"

                  I separate from Blake, shaking myself of wood dust, "Uh, like last week. Got a good deal." Cleo raises an eyebrow, "How much was the deal?"

                    My hand scratches behind my ear as they both wait on an answer.

                   "Sam—"

                 "$90 bucks—"

                 "Sam!" Cleo shouts, "Pope is gonna kick your ass, man," Cleo tuts her teeth, continuing to move wood. I sigh, glaring at Blake. "They weren't supposed to know?" Blake asks with gritted teeth. "No. But I felt bad so I got him a board. After the headstone they told me I was limited but, I want my Corvette," I sigh. I sound so—Kook like. That's gross.

                            "Where's JJ?" Blake asks. "Trying to convince a friend to help build the dock. Bribing him with Kie's weed," I explain.

                                "Speaking of Kie's weed—"

                               "Your jar is on the counter and Kie is inside. Just hand her the money," I chuckle as Blake yelps in excitement before rushing inside. The heat of lifting shit mixed with the Outer Banks sun begins to do me in. My hands grab my hair, pulling it into a quick ponytail. "I won't tell Pope," Cleo says. I jump at the sound of her voice behind me, "Thank you."

                          "If I had a little brother and a lot of money, I'd probably spoil 'em too," Cleo winks, grabbing more wood and walking away. A gulp travels down my throat.

                      Its the least I can do after I killed our dad and made him disappear.

             POGUELANDIA 2.0. A HOME. A BUSINESS.

                              Months in the making. So may splinters. I will admit though, the view of watching JJ build for the last few months has been spectacular.

                       I follow JJ down to the boat, watching him put his sign up fro his Charter Boat business. Pride fills my chest. This is what he was made for. It'll make him happy and that makes me happy.

                     He stands on the dock, taking in everything. JJ Maybank is content with life. That's all I could have asked for.

                         My hand caresses his back and he spins around. That shark tooth grin makes my heart flutter as he pulls me into his arms. "We did it, baby," He mutters into my hair, kissing me. I tug him closer, as if I could get any closer without being in JJ's skin. "I am so fucking proud of you," I whisper, standing on my tippy toes to land a kiss on his lips. As I pull away, JJ takes off his hat, placing it on mu head to face the others, "I think we did it," He yells, pulling his lips to the side.

                  Something he does when he doesn't want to cry.

                    His embrace leaves my body, "We're in business!" JJ shouts at the top of his lungs, "Whoo!" Before I can stop him, his hands are around my waist and I'm being spun around in the air. Giggles fall from my lips as the marsh and the sunset circle around me. Eventually, I'm put down. The world is slightly shaky around me as I hold onto JJ for stability, giggling still leaving my mouth.

                          "Oh my gosh, this feels good!" JJ yells, pacing the dock, "Look at this. Look at that!" He points at our hard work. He spins in his boots, jumping all around. "Captain Maybank at your service!" He exclaims in a very shitty British accent, "Now, that has a ring to it!"

                     I can't help but admire him, how far he has come during all of this. How far we've all made it.

                    A year ago I tried to kill myself. A year later, I built a home with the people I care most about.

                       "Nothing can stop a Pogue! Nothing!" JJ screams, earning a laugh from everyone. He jumps off the edge of the boat, busting into a dance move as he narrates it. I want to cry just looking at him. If my heart could explode from being filled with love, it would right now. He does a little spin, winking at me before continuing the dance.

                        "He's a ballerina!" Bailey yells from the porch of the business, an arm slung around Kie's shoulders as the Carrera girl kisses her girlfriend. It all worked out. For goddamn once—it did.

                         "You're dancin' like a chicken," I call out to him. "A rich chicken!" He calls out to me, hitting a slide again. My boots carry me over to him, gently holding his bicep which makes him stop moving altogether. I feel like one of those cartoon characters with hearts in her eyes but he's looking at me the same way. Always has, always will.

                                   "I love you," I tell him, watching his eyes fill with even more love. He cups my face in his hands, flickering his gaze from my lips to my green eyes. His calloused thumb brushes over my cheek, "I love you so much, sunshine," He mutters, leaning closer and closer.

                       Suddenly, I'm at The Chateau three years ago. I'm suddenly back where JJ and I first kissed. Back before the gold and death and murder. Yet, it still feels the same as our lips touch. The same sparks, my heartbeat speeds up the same way. Every touch is electric. Not even our friends shouting at us ruins the mood.

                                   "We did it," He says between kisses. I nod, "And I wouldn't do it with anyone else."

                       Cheers erupt from everyone as they rush down to meet us at the dock. Bailey tackles JJ and I, bouncing us back and forth as we all just yell. A group hug commences as the sun sets on our new life, a proper life.

———

AND WERE BACKKKKKKKK im so excited. idk how many ppl see my like messages but there will be some bailey pov chapters bc there is a lot of info given and i want it there for the plot :3