☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆

FINDING MIKE WAS MUCH harder than finding Cleo and Pope. We're walking through the damp jungle. I can feel every hair sticking to me. JJ tried to hold my hand and I had to shoo him away because I think I would've combusted if I felt his sweaty hand in mine.

   Mike leads us to a small boat, "Got anything to protect yourself?" He asks. "Uh, kinda working on that part," JJ replies. Mike hands me a bag without context. "Um," I hum, holding up the bag away from us. "Would you calm down? It's just machetes. You'll need them," Mike rolls his eyes. Like I was supposed to know the drug dealer was just simply giving us machetes. Jeez.

  "Let me see," Bailey tries to grab at the bag but I pull away from her. Her lips part as if she's offended. "You'll get one," Kie giggles at her girlfriend's antics.

   The boat looks like when you pile stuff together in a game and hope it floats. This one as of right now seems to be afloat. "I'm adding the cost of this rig to what you already owe me. I don't expect to see it again anyway. Look, I asked around at the landing today. Your buds did leave this morning, but I was able to get directions to El Tesoro. Pretty loose," Mike explains, handing JJ a map, "Only Jose knows the real way, but get you in the right zip code, maybe."

  I know he's probably doing this for that gold we promised him. That's probably the main reason he's helping but there's a small part of me that maybe just thinks Mike is helping us out of the kindness of his heart. Could be my daddy issues that let me find safety in any grown man but shit, let me get my hopes up for once. Let me have faith in humanity.

  "Thanks, Mike," I smile up at him. Mike pauses for a second, like he wants to say something to JJ and I but instead he just chuckles, "No. Don't thank me. Start praying!"

  I stare at the small gap between the boat and water. It's fine. I've done so much worse and made it out. "Hey," JJ steps onto the boat and offers his hand to me. I smile, taking the safety of his hand and getting on the rocky boat. "Thanks, sir," I joke. There's a small laugh shared between us but it's sucked out when Mike calls on us.

  "You owe me. Ten times," Mike sternly says. JJ and I nod, fully aware of what Mike is owed. "Good luck."

  "Thanks again," I say, going under the roof of the boat. With a loud grunt, Mike pushes us out and into the brown water.

  It feels like for a second or so, I can breathe. Air fills my lungs but I feel eyes on me. They're not JJ's because he's talking about some bullshit with Bailey and Kie. It's Pope.

   He's in the seat diagonally to me. Cleo is in the front of the boat, moving us through the water.

   "Pope, what?" I ask, leaning forward, "Is it about Cleo? You're into her—"

  "Woah, woah!" Pope whispers, waving his hands around and leaning towards me, "Pft. Who said that?"

   "Uh, me. I said it."

  "Okay, well, whatever," Pope doesn't deny it but his nervous face turns into concern. Shit. Did the four of us miss something while kidnapped?

  "Pope, what happened? And don't bounce around it like you do when you're scared—"

   "Ward got on the plane. Ward came to South America with us," Pope blurts out, words still a whisper. My body jolts at the name. A surge of anger rolls through my veins. "What?" I whisper. Pope nods his head, "I just thought I should tell you in case he shows up. Get your anger out now. He is already stabbed though, so."

  "You really think it's that simple, Pope? He's half the reason Piper is dead—"

  "No, I don't think it's that simple, Sam but you can't afford to lose your shit again. I didn't want you to get smacked in the face by just seeing Ward, okay? Give yourself time to breathe—please?" Pope pleads with me. His eyes are begging me, as my best friend, to think about everything I do. For Pope, I will. I'll take a deep breath and think before I go off and kill anyone. He still doesn't know what happened and I wanna tell him really badly as we're face to face, everyone else minding their own business.

  It's Pope. My brother, clearly from another mother. The kid I thought hated me for the first two weeks when we were twelve. The one JJ called first after my attempt. The one who freaked out and dragged everyone with him like it was my funeral
viewing. I don't even wanna imagine his face, his tears and shaky hands. It's probably exactly how I felt when he momentarily died.

   "I will," I simply answer, "I will, Pope." He smiles leaning back in the seat. JJ's hand rests on my thigh again, pulling my whole body towards him. His hands travel to my waist and I yelp when he pulls me onto his lap. My anger only fades a small amount as JJ holds me. The sun is setting. It's close to dark.

   "When we get home and we're maybe rich and we have Big John back, can we get a dog?" JJ whispers, the vibrations of his words tickling my ear. I giggle at the feeling, "In what house? Brandon and Justin would never allow an animal."

    JJ just stares at me, "We'll be rich."

  "Yeah?" I raise an eyebrow. "We can get a place. Our own place," JJ whispers. The words almost instantly make me cry. All other emotions taking the back burner as hope starts. For years the idea of JJ and I living together was just that, an idea. Now, it could be a possibility. "Really?" I whisper, excitement evident in my tone. JJ chuckles at my goofy smile, "Yeah. Why would I question that, baby?"

  "I—I don't know. Are you sure you wanna be stuck with me in a house?" I laugh. JJ tilts his head like he's second guessing it and I tsk at him. He just laughs with me, "God, yes. That's like, my dream. Well, there's more to the dream."

  "Is there?"

  "Yeah but, maybe get some sleep and it'll come to you in your dreams too."

  "God, that was cheesy," I remark. JJ shrugs, "You're still here though."

  I don't say anything back. There's just a big smile across my face as I adjust myself to attempt at some sleep on this boat. In front of us, Kie is half asleep on Bailey's shoulder as she rests a kiss onto her temple. Cleo and Pope are chatting. It's odd, but it's a happy moment. Even if this curse might kill us. At least it's with each other, right?

I GROAN MYSELF AWAKE but when my eyes flutter open, I'm in a place I don't recognize. It looks like something out of my saved Pinterest board.

   There's lively plants that hang in the corners of the room. Teal walls surround me that have pictures or posters on them. It reminds me of my room, except my plants are dead. I narrow my eyes, noticing the C.H.U.D poster. Oh God.

   "Babe!" JJ shouts. I move my body around and feel a soft blanket around me. I can hear him running up the stairs but at the same time I barely hear him. Suddenly, he's standing in the doorway, a smile ear to ear with no shirt on and just cargo shorts and socks—and his necklace of course. His smile makes me smile but it all feels so airy.

  Oh—Oh! I'm in a dream. It's a dream. Just like JJ said to.

   "Hi," I croak out. Tiredness is laced in my words. He walks over to me, arms on either side of my body. They flex slightly as his necklace dangles in my face. A view I've come to love for many other reasons. I feel at home in a place I don't recognize.

   Or maybe it's just because JJ is here.

  "I made eggs," JJ says, resting a kiss on my forehead. "Without burning the house down?" I chuckle. I manage to move away from JJ, a sense of hunger overcoming me. I know exactly where to go yet I have no idea where to go, y'know? My body is just carrying through the home. Two floors. Decorated how JJ and I would want it to be.

    Everything except a dog.

   A plate of eggs sit on the wooden counter. Cinnamon and weed fills the air. It's not strong but enough that I recognize it.

   "JJ, where'd you go—" I spin around but the house feels—empty all the sudden. The air is thick with fear and I wanna wake up but something isn't letting me.

   "You're never gonna get this," A rough, familiar voice bounces off the walls of the home. It's surrounding me. Encompassing me like a chokehold. It's Weston. No doubt. I could never forget his voice that would spew insults at me even in his last moments.

   "You're gonna be stuck in that little home on The Cut your whole life," Weston says, emerging from a room in front of me. He has his hand over his stomach and he slowly moves it, revealing a gaping hole and a blood stained shirt. The crimson liquid is seeping all over his clothing, coating his hand as he smiles. I give a shaky breath, forcing myself to look up at him rather than the wound, "I haven't been in that house since I was 16," I tell him.

   Weston chuckles, "You'll always be stuck in that house. You'll never get here because you're scared. You both are."

  "Of what?" I ask. I feel like I know the answer though.

  "Ending up like your dad's. Fucking up your kids and destroying your home," Weston answers. I hadn't realized it but he's much closer to me now. My back is pressed to the counter. "You can't get away from me. Because I'm you. We're the same, Sammy," Weston says, smiling evilly down at me, mocking me.

  Anger that always resides makes itself to the front. It comes in the form of clenched fists and shaky breaths. "Fuck you!" I yell, hands flying out to push him but it never comes.

  I'm suddenly sitting up, hands out in front of me while my chest heaves. Everyone is quiet except the crickets and insects in the dense jungle. "Princess, it's alright," JJ says, carefully reaching out for me. He brings me closer, head to his chest.

   JJ is here. I'm here. We're all here. I know that by his heartbeat in my ear and a comforting hand from Bailey on my back. "Bad dream, babe?" JJ gently asks, kissing the top of my head.

   I can still feel the blanket and the homey feeling that was stripped from me. "Yeah," I let out. "Wanna talk about it?" He asks. I move my head, ignoring my friends eyes on me and noticing the sunrise reflecting off the river.

   "No, no. Not right now. I'm okay. It was just some stupid horror nightmare. Nothing that can actually hurt me," I lie. Well, kinda. Weston can't physically hurt me, maybe he was right. I'll never be able to escape him. No matter how much healing I do, his voice will be in the back of my head. 

   I don't want him to control me. He doesn't get that luxury. I'll use my anger to be better than him. As best as I can be. One more kill and I'm a serial killer. I'm not Weston. I can't be Weston. I'll send myself into a hole I'll never be able to crawl out of. 

   "How about you get some sleep, yeah?" I suggest to JJ, moving sweaty strands from his face. "Nah, nah—"

   "Sleep, Maybank. It's alright," Bailey says, cutting him off with a smile. JJ stammers, looking at each of our friends. "It's alright, JJ. Really. I slept and it's all okay," Pope leans back, spreading his arms. JJ takes a deep breath, my hand moving with his chest.

  Big blue eyes stare down at me and my heart skips at his pupils getting bigger. "Sleep," I order him.

  "Fine, ma'am," JJ fakes a scoff and pulls me closer to him, "I'll sleep. I'll sleep and dream about you."

   Please, just let him dream. Don't let it turn into a nightmare for him too.

WE'RE PULLED OVER TO the side, hidden in the bushes as Singh and his men pass by.

   "JJ, you were right. That's Singh and his men," Cleo says. A couple minutes ago, we heard another boat. There's no shot it wasn't Singh and his men.

   "I don't think they're on the hunt for us," Bailey sighs. "Yeah, they're moving real quick. They're looking for John B and Sarah. They'll know where they're headed," JJ says. I move to the side so JJ can drive. "They'll need the crew then," I tell him. "Don't get too close," Cleo reminds him.

   "I know how to do this," JJ retorts. Cleo throws her hands up, scoffing at my boyfriend's attitude.

I MIGHT HAVE UNDERESTIMATED how long this trip would be. When nightfall came once again, it started downpouring and no one slept last night. We were all kinda worried about the boat.

   "Someone else drive!" Kie yelled over the rain.

  "I'll do it—" I offered up but there was a unison of a panicked NO heard through the boat.

   "Anyone but Sam," Pope said.

   Personally, I think they're dramatic. I've driven a boat. Not in the conditions from last night but I've done it. Thankfully, it's daylight now. No rain, just the incessant squawking of birds. "Okay, guys, I think this is El Tesoro. The trailhead to the mountain is supposed to start here," Kie points at the map. There's tents and canopies down the river. I narrow my eyes. There's a guy just chilling in a boat.

  Shit. It's one of the dudes. Singh's dudes.

   "Hey, am I stupid or is that one of Singh's men?" I whisper the question, pointing at the man. JJ follows my finger, groaning when he realizes I'm right, "Oh shit. It is. What are we gonna do? We gotta get past them somehow."

   Cleo snaps her fingers, "Do we have paper?" Pope swings his bag around, taking out a notepad and pen. "Of course you do," I comment. He hands it to Cleo, "What for?" She doesn't answer, already writing stuff down in red ink. "Okay, we have little dynamite—"

  "Huh? We do? Since when?" Bailey panics but then smiles, "Can I see it?" She asks Cleo. When did we get dynamite? Why wasn't I told of this?

   "That's all valid questions," Kie adds. "Why are explosives just in your bag?" JJ asks Cleo as she finishes the note. I read the note and it says that we're gonna fire a gunshot at him as a warning.

    "Because," Cleo replies but doesn't give anything else. "Huh? That's it?" I scrunch my nose in annoyance. "Just—you see that stand over there? Go. Drive," Cleo tells Bailey who as quietly as she can drives up to it. Cleo grabs a fishing pole, attaching the note to the end. "Kie, you swing this over to him," Cleo says and Kie grabs the pole. We reach the small shack and I carefully step onto land, hiding in the shack.

    "Can this thing even reach him?" Kie asks, winding the pole up. "No. Maybe. I believe in you. That's what matters, darling," Bailey gives Kie a pat on the back. "Real encouraging," Kie says back. Oh my God. This is giving me anxiety. He's right there.

  "Just swing the pole!" I whisper. Everyone stares at me but I'm not apologizing. Just do the damn job.

  Kie does and it gets to the dude. We watch as he reads the note and then on the count of three, I'll throw the little piece of dynamite.

  Pope and I count.

  One. Two. 

   Three.

I light the piece, throwing it at the man. It explodes, sounding exactly like gunfire.

   Kie and I watch together as the man freaks out. He's too far to hear much but it sounds like he's warning his friend. "Is he buying it?" JJ asks.

  Kie and I turn, nodding a quick yes. I watch as Pope and Bailey light up two more, throwing them and they explode as they hit his boat. "Shit, we're surrounded!" He yells, yelping as he takes cover.

  It's funny to watch. Just like on the island before, it's entertaining to watch a group of grown, trained men fall at the hands of a bunch of idiot teenagers. "Oh, shit," Kie curses, suddenly pulling me down by my arm. "Kie—"

  "Get down!" She yells. Actual gunfire goes off and we all duck, grunting at the SMG bullets hitting the water. "Pope, return fire! Return fire!" JJ shouts. Pope lights up some more and tosses it towards Singh's men. Kie and I peek out heads back up. They're leaving. We did it. Thank God.

    JJ throws another one for good measure. "One more," Bailey says, smiling and lighting up the explosive before throwing it. The boat moves faster down the river and then eventually, they're out of sight.

    I hear the snapping of the Pogue handshake as Cleo, Kie and I exit the shack. "Hey, hey. Ain't no time for celebrating. We didn't do anything yet," Cleo says, ruining the celebration between Bailey, Pope and JJ. Kie walks out in front of me, "That's fair."

   I walk out last, "We've just barely got here," I say, walking between the three, "Still gotta find Ward." I whisper the last part to myself, saying his name as if it's a curse word.

He's cursed. Ward Cameron is the reason this is all fucked up. The gold isn't cursed. He is.

THE JUNGLE IS BEAUTIFUL if you ignore the bugs biting at my skin and sweat dripping down it. I'm sure not many people can say they've gone through it so, I'll just be as grateful as I can be.

    JJ and I have machetes in our hands as we walk behind the group. Cleo and Pope are further up ahead while Bailey and Kie are just talking, barely remembering we're behind them as they giggle and be all cute and shit.

  I swing the machete, chopping down branches for JJ and I.

   My mind is cycling that dream. Rather the nightmare. It's always a battle of denying who my father is and trying to stop the cycle when I do shit he did as a kid. Never listen to my parents, be gone for days, do illegal shit. But the difference is, most of the time, I do it for a reason. I didn't kill a teenage girl for money. You couldn't pay me enough to do that.

   I'm nudged in the shoulder by JJ. I glance at him and there's a smile across his sweaty face. "I don't think there's anything over here," I say, chopping more branches out of the way. "You're bein' quiet," JJ remarks, raising an eyebrow at me. "It's hot, J. You know how I get when I'm hot," I tell him, pulling at the collar of the t-shirt.

   "You get overstimulated. I know. But, it's just—that nightmare earlier. Also, you could take off that shirt. You have a crop top underneath," JJ bounces from subject to subject. He's nervous to bring up my nightmare. He knows I was lying. Of course he does.

   When I glance over at him again, JJ is lifting his shirt to wipe the sweat off his face. His shorts have lowered a bit, revealing the waistband of his Hanes boxers and start of his v-line. My eyes widen. I gotta look away. I feel like a feral dog. Now I'm just internally freaking out but eventually he puts his shirt down and JJ is smirking. Little shit.

    "I told you what the nightmare was," I change the subject. "Hm. You lied," JJ presses his lips together. I scoff, "No."

   "Yes."

  "Stop it."

  "Stop what?"

  "Knowing me so well. Let me lie," I pout, poking at random bushes with the machete. "No can do, baby," JJ slings an arm over my shoulder. No, no. It's too hot. I squirm away. "Sorry," He apologizes. "It's okay," I say.

   There's a beat of silence. JJ slices a branch off before jumping in front of me.

  "I know the jungle isn't the best place for this but—come on, communicate with me, baby. Was it the move in thing? Did it scare you? I'm sorry," JJ apologizes. He just looks like a sad puppy dog. I can't take it.

   "No. It isn't that. I had a nightmare about us living together," I don't finish and see JJ's face drop, "But—you weren't the problem! Please," I walk up to him and tuck the machete in my pants to hold his face, "Weston just showed up. Told me I'd never escape him or my little house on The Cut," I take a deep breath, "I don't wanna end up like my dad, JJ. I want our house to be safe. I want everyone to feel loved."

   There's tears brimming in my eyes. JJ's as well when I look closer. A lump in my throat dares to break.

   "I want our house to be happy. Everything we didn't have growing up, baby," I continue, holding him in my hands like if I don't he'll fall apart. JJ rests his hands on mine, "You're gonna make me cry," He says, wiping a tear, "We're not them, sunshine. I'm scared too. But—we're gonna decorate the shit outta that house and we're gonna learn how to cook and have that dog. We gotta have enough room for the Pogues." I chuckle, wiping his tears that try to fall down his face, "That's a lot of rooms."

   "Yeah. A lot," JJ chuckles, "Especially if we, uh, we, uh, have—"

   "Kids," I finish his sentence that he seemed so nervous to say, "We're gonna break the cycle. I'm telling you this in a jungle. We're gonna break that cycle. They're gonna feel nothing but love, okay?" My arms wrap around his neck and I momentarily forget how hot it is.

  JJ smiles down at me and then our lips are connected, giggling into the kiss in the middle of the jungle. The jungle where we promise each other and our kids a good life. I'll admit it, I'm scared for when that day comes. I hope it's not for at least another ten years but I'm scared.

  A little less scared with JJ by my side though. That's how I always feel. I always feel a little less scared when he's around.

———

<3