I know this should be in my Fangirl Diary but this is about how words hurt people so I decided to put it here.

As some of you may know I have an artfest at my school, and you can submit anything that you have made during your time at the school. 

And I know from a personal experience just how much words can hurt someone. HELL! Words have hurt ME! They still hurt me!

You may be wondering why this is. Well here's the reason. Whenever I don't do something, or do something I'm not supposed to, my parents always say stuff like: "Well maybe because you did this, your friend left" or "If you didn't do this that wouldn't have happened" or "If you don't do that you won't get into a good school" or "Maybe if you keep doing that sort of thing, your friends won't like you anymore".

And the reason that those things hurt me, is because they've given me insecurities. My own parents have given me insecurities about everything revolving around my social life, my friends, about everything!

And that's what caused me to make this piece of artwork. And I tell people who wonder about what the painting means that it's one of my OCs, who's always this big, strong person that it makes people think that nothing can hurt her. Not even words. So they talk, and say things to see if she'll crack. On the outside she keeps a straight face, but it's just a mask so people can't hurt her. But they don't realize how much she can be hurt. 

But the thing is...it's not just an OC...it's just what I would look like in the game with animal and angel/demon features. Yes I have horns, yes I have a tail, yes I have wings, and yes I have wolf ears.

But people don't understand that it's just...me. I put out a certain persona to make sure people can't hurt me. I put on a mask to make sure people that I don't know or trust can't break me. Yes I take off that mask and persona when I'm with my friends and you guys, because I can trust you and you guys understand. I don't take off this persona or mask to keep people away around my family because I can't trust them. They're the ones who gave me these insecurities I have. People don't realize how much words hurt. So that's why I made this art piece.

If you don't like knowing that truth about me, or the truth behind this art piece. You can leave, but I just needed to let someone know before it was too late. And know that whenever I hear someone say something that offends me I shut myself in. I think that don't actually like me. Like the thumbs down you saw in the artwork. I sent a joke, A JOKE, to a group chat with my friends. And they thought it was rude, and one of my friends sent a thumbs down. My sister doesn't like it when I make references. If you remember one of my rants a while ago on how we shouldn't have to send letters to veterans because of P.T.S.D. then you remember Jackson. He's the one who said "STOP TALKING ABOUT STUFF NO ONE UNDERSTANDS". My mom, when I took a book to school when I didn't finish all my missing assignments, texted me "So disappointed".  My friends in math, when we could work together on a classwork assignment, said"Why don't you go work with Philip?". I know I didn't actually put his name down, but I didn't want people to know that it was actually me. And finally, my parents always tell me"WHY DON'T YOU DO YOUR WORK?!". 

I may sound like I'm being mean for shutting people who care about me out, but I'm really not. I'm just trying to make sure I don't get hurt, and my immediate response to any sort of pain, whether it's physical pain or verbal, is to shut everyone out. And it works for me. To me it's easier to shut out the ones who hurt me than to fight back. 

Thank you for reading and hearing me out if you made it this far. I also want a dare for my Wings of Fire truth or dare book for like a birthday special! Thank you