Son: Mom you are not funny. You never make jokes

Mom: I made you

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Andy: When i die, i want my epitaph to read "Mistakes were made"

Evan: Wasnt that already on your birth certificate?

{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}

Bob: K

Randy: Every "kiss" begins with "k"  ;)

Bob: too bad "ugly" begins with "U"

Randy: Too bad you cant photoshop your ugly personality