This is the last chapter of this story! After this, there is an "Epilogue", and it is written in Beatrice's point of view.

A simple reminder: Don't just read. Learn and get better than you ever were!

FRANCE

WHAT SHOULD I do? I don't know. How am I supposed to live without Beatrice? I don't really know. How can I be a good father if I am not a good man? I don't know the answer. And because of that, I need advice from a wise person. And I have decided to talk to my older sister. I have a good mother and father, but my sister Freya Lene is the first thing that comes into mind. I look at the background. I don't know where she is because all I can see is the white wall.

I search for her account, and tap the video call button. I have to tap it two times before she answers. The first thing I see is her smile. Her smile it beautiful, but I can't do the same. I can't smile right now.

"Hey, bro! Why did you call?" Her smile fades, and her eyebrows starts to furrow. "What's wrong? You don't look okay."

"Because I'm not." I look away. "I have a problem. I'm in trouble."

She laughs. "You're in trouble because what? You're in love? Love is a big trouble, bro. You let yourself fall in love so you gotta face its consequences." I almost roll my eyes, and turn my gaze back to my cell phone's screen. "Ano ba'ng nangyari sa inyo ni Beatrice? 'Yong last na nabalitaan ko, nagkakamabutihan na kayo. May tampuhan ba kayo?"

"How did you know that it's about us?" I ask.

She rolls her eyes. "Paano ko hindi malalaman? I'm Freya Lene Cruz, bro, and I'm your older sister. I know you. I know everything about you."

I roll my eyes. "Katulad ka ni mama at papa. You all know everything about me. Wala na yata akong maitatago." I force a laughter to hide the I-don't-know-what emotion I feel.

"Pwede mo na bang sabihin sa akin ang problema? May importante pa kasi akong kailangang gawin. Gaano ba kahirap ang problema mo, France?"

I sigh before I answer, "Sobrang hirap."

"Really?" I nod. "Okay lang 'yan. Palagi mong tatandaan na kahit gaano pa kahirap ang hinaharap mo, it's not the end of the world. There's always tomorrow."

"Tomorrow never comes," I say.

I look away from my phone's screen, and look up when I remember what happened the day I went to Mavin's house to drink. It was the same day Beatrice came back into town. Klaro pa rin sa aking memorya kung bakit ko 'yon ginawa. I was disappointed that time after I heard the rumors. But it turned out that they weren't true. Mataas ang tingin ko kay Beatrice, at deserve niya 'yon.

"So what's your problem?" she asks.

That makes me turn my attention to her. "The problem is . . . I made a stupid mistake. And because of that . . . Beatrice has to leave."

I look away again. Bigla kong naalala ang reaksyon ni Beatrice matapos kong sabihin sa kanya na nabuntis ko si April. Her tears started to stream down her face. She cried. I saw the pain her eyes. Sobra siyang nasaktan. Natawa ako sa aking isipan. Sino ba'ng hindi masasaktan matapos niyang malamang nakabuntis ng ibang babae ang lalaking mahal niya? Napangiti ako nang mapait. She really loves me, doesn't she? But what have I done? I've hurt her. I'm such a fool. I'm so stupid.

"You made a stupid mistake that's why she has to leave? Ano'ng pagkakamali ang magpu-push sa kanya para lumayo? Let me think for a moment . . ." She pauses for a second. "You saw you with another girl! Did she?"

I smile, and shake my head. "No, you're wrong. She didn't see me with another girl. It's worse than that."

"May misunderstanding? You accidentally kissed another girl, and she saw it, and she thought you cheated on her?"

I shake my head again. "Malapit na, ate."

Nanliit ang kanyang mga mata, at tinitigan niya ako. "You . . . touched another girl, and she found out."

I shift my gaze from my cell phone's screen to something else. I stare at my wall, and says, "Yeah, that's what I did."

"You did?" I look at her face, and nod my head. Sumama ang kanyang itsura. "That's disgusting! Gross!"

"Yeah, I know. But you know what's worse than that? It's the fact that the woman I slept with was April. Sa kaibigan naming pareho ni Beatrice. Funny, right?"

Her face becomes serious. "It's not. That's so disgusting, bro. Okay na kayo ni Beatrice, tapos sumiping ka kay April? Kung ako ang nasa kalagayan ni Beatrice, masusuka ako't masasaktan nang husto. She's loved you so much. If she hadn't, she wouldn't have come back to that place."

"Oo, mahal na mahal niya ako." My voice becomes shaky. I swallow hard. "Kahit ganito lang ako, mahal niya ako. Kahit pwedeng tuluyan na siyang umalis, hindi niya ginawa. Her love for me is genuine. Ang totoo, willing na siyang talikuran ang buhay niya para lang makasama ako, para manatili sa tabi ko. But I made a mistake. And now, she has to leave. She's leaving again."

Naging malungkot ang kanyang mukha. "That's . . . I don't know. Sad? Painful? Hindi ko rin alam kung ano at sino ang iisipin ko. 'Yong nararamdaman mo, o 'yong nararamdaman ni Beatrice? Ikaw, o si Beatrice? Kasi kung nasasaktan ka, siguradong mas nasasaktan siya. What you did wasn't just a mistake. It was also a sin, bro."

"Yeah . . ." is all I can say.

"Will you tell me the whole story? Naguguluhan lang ako. How did it happen? Paano mo nagawang humawak ng ibang babae, eh mahal na mahal mo si Beatrice? May nagawa ba siyang hindi mo nagustuhan, then nagpadalos-dalos ka't naisipang tabihan si April sa iisang kama?"

I almost laugh. She asks so many questions. She's really smart. Nagbago ang mga kilos niya, ngunit hindi ang pagtakbo ng kanyang utak. Until now, she has a clever mind.

"You really know me, ate. Alam mong padalos-dalos ako."

She rolls her eyes. "Of course, I do. Maraming taon kaya kitang nakasama sa iisang bubong. Alam kong padalos-dalos ka, mabilis magtampo at emotions ang pinaiiral mo most of the time."

"Ikaw nga talaga ang Ate Freya Lene ko."

"Balik tayo sa kwento," sabi niya. "Ano nga ang dahilan at sumiping ka kay April? Did she seduce you? At dahil hindi mo ginamit ang utak mo, natukso ka?"

"April has romantic feelings for me, but she never tried to seduce me," I started, and sigh. "She didn't seduce me. I was drunk that night. Hindi ko natatandaan ang buong pangyayari. All I can remember is I saw Beatrice's face, then I kissed her, then when I woke up the next day . . . we were both naked on the same bed."

She rolls her eyes. "Naglasing ka kaya nakagawa ka ng milagro? Bakit kasi naglalasing ka?"

"You know me, ate. Naglalasing lang ako kapag may problema ako. That day, I went to Beatrice's house because we were going on a date. But I saw her hugging another man. Then I got jealous. I thought she didn't love me, and I just assumed that she did. Nakipag-inuman ako sa bahay ni April, at nangyari na ang hindi dapat mangyari."

"And that's what we call . . . stupidity? Foolishness? I don't know what word to use," she says. "Bakit kasi kapag may problema, ang pagtakas agad ang unang pumapasok sa isip mo? At bakit mo ginagamit ang pag-iinom para makatakas? You shouldn't have escaped. You should've solved the problem. Bakit hindi mo siya kinausap agad? Why didn't you just ask what's between her and that guy? Padalos-dalos ka talaga, bro."

"I know, pero mahalaga pa ba 'yon?"

She rolls her eyes. "Of course, it does matter, bro. Dahil sa pagiging padalos-dalos mo, nakagawa ka ng tinatawag mong stupid mistake. That's the cause. Paano ka matututo kung naka-focus ka lang sa effect palagi? Alamin mo ang sanhi ng lahat, at matuto ka. You're a teacher, aren't you?"

"Ano ba'ng kinalaman ng pagiging teacher dito?" She raised an eyebrow, and gave me a don't you really know the answer to that question look. "Okay, teacher nga ako, at dapat utak ko ang pinagagana ko sa halip na ang emotions ko. But I am human, ate. I am not perfect. I make mistakes."

"Ang ganda ng excuse mo," sarkastikong sabi niya. "Excuse lang 'yan! We're all human. Gano'n din ako. Yeah, we make mistakes, pero kaya mong iwasan ang ganyang pagkakamali. Kung hindi ka sana nag-inom, e di hindi ka nakagawa ng miracle." She takes a deep breath. "Let's not talk about that. It wouldn't change what already happened. At later mo na pag-aralan ang lessons sa likod ng nangyari. After mong malamang buntis si April, sinabi mo pa kaagad kay Beatrice?"

"Naghanap muna ako ng perfect moment bago ko sinabi. Ayaw ko siyang biglain."

"Pero hindi mo naman siguro hinintay na maging halata ang baby bump ni April bago ka umamin?" I nod. "'Cause if that's what you did, mas masasaktan siya. Dapat kasi inisip mo muna ang taong mahal mo bago ka humawak ng ibang babae."

"That's what I did, okay?" I said in irritated voice. "'Yon nga ang reason kaya hindi ako nagdalawang-isip bago ko halikan si April. When I saw her face, I saw Beatrice's. I was drunk. Mali 'yong nakita ko kaya mali rin ang nagawa ko. Bakit ba ibinabalik mo ang usapan sa paninisi sa akin, ate?"

"Dahil ikaw lang ang dapat sisihin. Okay, I'm sorry, bro. I just can't help it," she says. "Have you told it kina mama't papa?"

I shake my head.

"Why? Bakit sa akin mo ito unang sinabi? They deserve to know the worst thing their son ever did."

"Nahihiya ako. Wala pa akong lakas ng loob na sabihin sa kanila."

Hindi ko alam kung saan ako pupulot ng lakas ng loob para gawin 'yon. Ni hindi ko alam kung saan ko nakuha ang tapang ko noong aminin ko ang kasalanan ko kay Beatrice. Paano ko sasabihin sa mga magulang ko na nabuntis ko si April dahil nakainom ako? Paano ko sasabihin na dahil sa ka*angahan ko, nakabuo ako ng bata? Hindi dapat ito nangyayari. Mali ang mga pangyayari. Dahil doon, hindi ko magawang maging masaya kahit magiging isa na akong ama. Pakakasalan ko pa dapat si Beatrice. Kami ang magsasama. Kami ang bubuo ng pamilya. But I made a mistake, and in just a blink of an eye, my dreams and plans died.

Truth hurts. And does reality. I want to escape. I want to think that it's all a dream. I wish it's just a dream that vanishes when I wake up. Pero kahit lumuhod pa ako't manalangin sa Diyos, kahit magtapon pa ako ng maraming barya sa wishing well, hindi matutupad ang kahilingan ko. I want to believe that nothing is impossible, but it's hard. In reality, not everything is possible. That's the reason why everyone wants to escape and live in their own imagination. I really want to escape, but I can't do it now. Magiging isa na akong ama. Magiging isa na akong ama. That truth makes me want to cry. That truth hurts me so much.

"But you gotta tell 'em about it, bro. They gotta know."

Tumango-tango ako. "Don't worry, sasabihin ko rin naman sa kanila, ate. Naghahanap lang ako ng perfect na pagkakataon."

There's the silence. Nang mapansin niyang wala akong balak na unang magsalita, binasag niya 'yon. "Will you be okay?"

I flash a small and sad smile. "I will be fine. Kahit parang malabo, I still believe that everything's gonna be fine. Sana'y maging okay rin si Beatrice."

"You really love her. Siya ang inaalala mo sa halip na ang bata sa sinapupunan ni April." She sighs. "Hanggang ngayon ba, hindi ka pa rin makapaniwalang magkakaanak kayo ni April?"

I force a laughter. "Paano ko magagawang maniwala? Parang panaginip lang ang lahat. Uminom lang ako, tapos wala na. Sira na ang kwento namin ng babaing mahal ko. Patay na ang mga pangarap ko para sa amin." I force laughter again. "It's funny, isn't it? Since I was a kid, I've loved her. Sa kanya ko lang iniaaalay ang pag-ibig ko. She's my navigation. My inspiration. Motivation. She's been the reason why I'm breathing. And then boom! I'm having a child. With another woman. Nakakatawa kasi buong buhay ko, siya ang pinangarap ko makakasama kong gagawa ng pamilya. I don't know what to feel. It's like I wanna die now."

"It's not the end of the world, bro. Though it seems that it is." She nods her head repeatedly as she adds, "Everything will be okay. It will. It has to."

"Sana nga." There's the silence again. I shift my gaze to the wall, then close my eyes, and I say, "What do you think should I do?"

"I don't know." She shrugs.

My forehead furrows. "You're the one and only Freya Lene Cruz, bakit hindi mo alam ang sagot? You are smart. There's nothing you don't know."

"Thank you for that wonderful compliment, bro, but that's wrong. Yeah, I am smart. Everyone is. I am also wise. But I don't know everything. Hindi ako Google, okay?" She laughs, and when she stops, her face and voice become serious. "Kahit padalos-dalos ka at stupid minsan, matalino ka, France. And I'm sure you know what you're supposed to do."

"Thank you for that compliment, but that's wrong. I don't know what to do. May iba pa bang paraan para ma-solve ang problemang 'to bukod sa hayaang umalis si Beatrice? Dapat ko ba siyang hayaang umalis? Ito na ba ang katapusan ng lahat sa amin? I don't know the answers. That's why I called you, ate. I need your help."

She gives me a small smile. "You know what to do, bro. You're just confused. You know what's the best thing you can do, and that is to choose what you have to do over what you want to do." I stare at her, and tere's a moment of silence. "I gotta end this call now! You can do it, bro! Naniniwala ako sa 'yo, at dapat gano'n ka rin."

Naglaho ang mukha ni ate sa screen. I stare at it for a moment. Then I search for my gallery, scroll through it, and tap a picture. It's her picture. I stare at her beautiful face. It's the most beautiful face I've ever seen. My eyes land on her perfect lips. They form a perfect smile. I smile when I remember that I've already kissed those lips. Our kissing scenes were perfect. Na-imagine ko pa naman na hinahalikan ko siya sa loob ng simbahan. Nawala ang ngiti ko noong maiisip kong hindi ko na siya muling mahahalikan.

She's leaving.

Sa oras na umalis siya, hinding-hindi na siya babalik. Hinawakan ko ang aking mukha noong may maramdaman akong mainit na likidong unti-unting umagos. I'm crying. Mahal na mahal ko talaga siya. I smile, and look down. And she loves me too. But she has to leave. Dahil ang rason kung bakit paulit-ulit siyang bumabalik ay wala na. Basag na pagmamahalan namin. Sira na ang kwento namin. And it's because of me. It's all my fault. Tama si ate, ako lang ang dapat sisihin.

Ano nga ba ang mas masakit: ang maiwan, o ang umalis? Noo'y hindi ko pa alam ang sagot sa katanungang 'yan, ngunit ngayo'y alam ko na. Pareho masakit ang maiwan at umalis. Kung mahal mo ang taong mang-iiwan sa 'yo, siyempre, masasaktan ka. Kung mahal mo naman ang iiwan mo, masasaktan ka rin. I am not the only one who's hurting. Beatrice and I are both hurting. I don't want her to leave. She doesn't want to leave me. Ayaw naming magkahiwalay kami. But she has to leave. She has to go away. And that's what's supposed to happen. That's what my older sister was trying to make me realize.

Inunawa ko ang lahat ng sinabi sa akin ni ate. Na-realize kong ang kalasingan ay walang magandang naidudulot. Ang dala ng kalasingan ay gulo at problema. And she's right, I shouldn't just focus on the effect or result. I also have to think about the cause so that I could learn and will never do the same mistake again. Ang pagiging padalos-dalos ko ang dahilan kaya't nasira ang kwento namin ni Beatrice sa nakaraan. 'Yon na naman ang dahilan kung bakit ito muling nasira. Siguro kong na-realize ko 'yon nang mas maaga, hindi humantong sa ganito ang lahat. At tama na naman ang ate ko. I know what I have to do. Hindi ko lang magawang pumili sa pagitan ng dapat at gusto kong gawin. Dapat kong palayain si Beatrice, ngunit nais ko siyang manatili sa tabi ko.

Ngayo'y nakapagdesisyon na ako. I'm letting her go. She's leaving, and I'm not going to stop her. Even though I can do that, I won't. She's a queen. She's a star. She wasn't born to stay in this place. She was born to fly higher than anyone can imagine. She was born to shine brighter than diamonds. Hindi kami magkatulad. I was born to stay this way. I was born to stay in this town. I was born to live a simple life. At ang buhay na para sa kanya ay pambihira. Hindi ito ang buhay na 'yon.

Napagdesisyunan ko nang sabihin sa mga magulang ko ang mga nangyayari. Hindi ko 'yon gagawin ng mag-isa. Kasama ko si April, ang ina ng magiging anak ko. Naisip kong dapat magkasama naming sabihin sa kanila ang tungkol sa pagbubuntis niya. That's the reason why she's here, and why she, my parents, and I are eating together right now.

"France, bakit nakatitig ka lang sa plato mo?"

Umangat ang paningin ko kay mama. I fake a smile. "Wala po, 'ma. Ipagpapatuloy ko na po ang pagkain." Kahit wala na akong ganang kumain, nagpatuloy pa rin ako sa pagsubo.

"Ano pala'ng sasabihin n'yo sa amin ni April?" My father suddenly speaks. "Sabi mo, importante ito. Pwede bang sabihin n'yo na ngayon?"

Napatigil si April sa pagkain, at nagkatinginan kami. Palihim ko munang pinunasan ang basa kong noo bago ako tumingin kay papa. "Mamaya na lang po namin sasabihin sa inyo, 'pa. Ngayon po, kumain na lang muna tayo."

"Kumusta si Beatrice?" tanong ni mama. "Nami-miss ko na siya, at gusto ko na siyang makita ulit. Kailan ba siya muling dadalaw rito?"

"Um . . ." Biglang tumunog ang aking cell phone. I've just received a message from someone. I smile at my mother, and say, "Basahin ko lang 'to, 'ma. Baka importante."

Tumango siya, at nagpatuloy sa pagsubo. Pinindot ko ang chat head, at binasa ang message. It's from Beatrice.

Hi, France! I just wanna let you know that I'm leaving.

I stare at my cell phone's screen. Beatrice is leaving. She's leaving. Parang hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala. I don't know how exactly I look, but I know the pain and sadness are written on my face.

"France, ayos ka lang?"

"Ano'ng problema?"

Pinatay ko ang aking phone, at inangat ang aking paningin sa mga magulang ko. They look worried. I flash a smile, and hope it looks genuine. "Okay lang po ako. Um, pwede po ba akong lumabas sandali?"

Kumunot ang kanilang noo, ngunit hindi sila nagtanong at agad akong pinayagan. Tumingin ako kay April, at nagpaalam din ako sa kanya bago ako lumabas ng aming bahay. Napangiti ako habang pinagmamasdan ang paglayo ng sasakyan ni Beatrice. Tama nga ako, makikita ko pa ang pag-alis nito. Gusto ko sanang makita ang mukha niya sa huling pagkakataon, pero okay na ito. Okay na sa aking makita ang pag-alis niya sa ganitong paraan. Binuksan ko ang aking phone noong muli itong tumunog.

Please tell tita about it. Tell her that I'm leaving, and never coming back again. I love you, France. I wish nothing but the best for you and April, and for the baby. Goodbye.

Tears start to stream down my face. Alam kong ito ang huling mensaheng matatanggap ko mula sa kanya. Muli kong pinagmasdan ang kanyang sasakyan na patuloy sa paglayo. I smile as I remember the old days. I picture our memories. Naalala ko 'yong paglalaro naming dalawa. 'Yong pag-akyat ko sa puno ng mangga para magpa-impress sa kanya. 'Yong pagkain ko ng mangga dahil sa kanya. 'Yong pagsayaw niya sa harapan ng lahat noong nasa elementary school kami. 'Yong pagligo namin sa gitna ng ulan. 'Yong nangyari noong pumunta Cocos Beach noong mga bata pa kami. 'Yong pagko-confess ko sa kanya. I remember everything that happened in the past. I remember all the memories we have. Mananatiling ala-ala na lang ang mga 'yon. Habambuhay.

Beatrice is a queen. But she's not my queen, and she will never be. She was never mine. I was about to make her mine, but it didn't happen. Matagal na yata kaming pinaglalaruan ng tadhana. Or maybe she's not meant to be mine? And she's meant to be someone else's? Hindi ko alam kung paano at bakit nangyari ito. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang may kagagawan nito, kung tadhana ba o ano. May magagawa pa naman kami upang ipagpatuloy ang kwento namin. Pwedeng siya ang piliin ko sa halip na ang responsibilidad ko. Pwede kong iwanan si April at ang bata, at piliing lumayo kasama niya. Pwede ring manatili siya sa tabi ko, at tanggapin ko ang responsibilidad ko. Ngunit mali 'yon. Wala sa mga 'yon ang pinakatamang gawin. Kailangan talaga naming magkalayo. Kailangan niyang umalis.

Siya lang ang laman ng puso't isipan ko. I will never forget our memories. I will never forget about her. My love for her will never die. I hope she won't forget about me too. I hope she will still think about me. I wish nothing but the best for her too. I wish she will have more genuine friends. I wish she will shine brighter than she does. It's the end of her part in this story. And that's why our story ends. Without her, our story won't continue. It ends now.

Magkakaroon na ako ng anak sa ibang babae, at 'yon na ang dapat kong pinagtutuunan ng pansin. Magagawa kong mahalin ang bata ng hindi minamahal ang kanyang ina, ngunit gusto kong mahalin si April. Ayoko ng isang malungkot na pamilya. Gusto kong ang sarili kong pamilya'y puno ng pagmamahalan dahil nagsisimula ang lahat sa loob ng tahanan. I have to learn how to love her. Right now, I don't know how to start. Kailangan ko rin siyang pakasalan bago siya manganak. Hindi ko pa alam kung kailan. Ngayon, sasabihin muna namin ang lahat sa mga magulang ko.

"France!" Pinunasan ko ang aking luha bago pa man makalapit sa akin si April. "Halika na sa loob. Ano ba'ng ginagawa mo rito?"

Umiling ako, at ngumiti. "Wala. Pumasok ka na roon. Susunod ako."

Her forehead furrows as she stares at my face. She knows that something's wrong, but she doesn't ask. Instead she says, "Susunod ka, ha?"

Tumango ako, at agad naman siyang umalis kahit naguguluhan. Tumingin ako sa direksyon kung saan nagpunta ang sasakyan ni Beatrice. Sobrang layo na nito. She's leaving. Parang naulit lang ang nangyari noong mga bata pa kami. Ang pinagkaiba? Hindi na siya babalik kahit kailan. In a blink of an eye, her car is gone. She is now gone. I smile. Ang kwento namin ay isa na lamang ala-ala at parte ng nakaraan. Isa na siyang ala-ala. Isang magandang ala-ala na hindi ko pagsasawaang alalahanin.

Beatrice came back to my side, but she wasn't meant to stay. And now, she is gone . . . and never coming back . . . Our story ends now. And this is the most painful ending I have ever seen.

COME BACK TO MY SIDE
TiffGRa (Tiffany)

THE END OF CHAPTER 25!