"Shower or bath?"

Mal's deep voice rumbled in his chest against my cheek. He kicked his bedroom door shut behind us and carried me straight to the bathroom.

Truthfully, I just wanted to go to bed, but I knew I needed to get cleaned up. My legs weren't working well enough for me to stand in the shower, and a bath would take too long.

"I don't know," was my mumbled, whiny reply.

He made the decision for me.

A few minutes later, he was lowering me into the bath. My limp, exhausted body curled into itself and I rested my head on the edge of the tub. With the gentleness only I knew he possessed, Mal began washing me. He was making quick work of it, recognizing that sleep was overpowering me.

"Almost done, baby."

He easily lifted me back out of the water, not bothered that his clothes were now soaked, and turned to set me on the counter. Taking even more care, he wet a new washcloth under the sink faucet, and using a soap that smelled of him, he began washing away my smudged makeup. I smiled when I realized what he was doing, finally opening my eyes.

His brow was furrowed in concentration. "Close your eyes. I don't want to get soap in them."

Obediently, I shut them.

He was shoving a glass of water at me soon thereafter. "Drink that."

I took a sip.

"The whole thing."

The water was cool as I swallowed the whole glass. When I shivered, he frowned and stepped away. "I need to dry you off."

I reached for the towel. "I can do it."

"No."

Once I was dry and cocooned into the huge, fluffy towel, he allowed me to walk on my own into the bedroom. He pulled back the covers on his oversized bed. It was larger than Joshua's or Noah's, which made sense since he was so freaking big. I could probably lay spread eagle on my side and still not touch him.

Mal had other ideas, though. He pulled the towel from me and waited expectantly for me to get in bed. As soon as I was sitting, he ripped off his clothes, not caring where he threw them over near the wall. It was a little shocking to see since he was so fastidious. He was in bed, engulfing me in his arms before I had time to appreciate his naked form. 

I appreciated it very much. Especially when I felt his hard and huge erection pressing against my lower back. I hadn't forgotten how big Mal was - he was the largest of my three men, in every way - but to feel him against me and remember how it had felt in my hands, my mouth, how he had been so patient with me as I learned his body, encouraging me with sexy, filthy words...my body was on fire again. My sleepy haze vanished.

"Are we going to do something about that?" I emphasized my question by pushing back into him.

He growled in my ear. "No. Lie still."

My hand reached back. He grasped my wrist. "But-"

"I said no."

His rejection stung, and I pulled my hand out of his hold. I lay there stiffly for a few moments, doubt and embarrassment creeping in. Was he mad at me? No, he had no reason to be unless I had done something with Noah or Joshua he didn't like. He could have stopped us or at least said something.

I couldn't stand it anymore. "Why don't you want me?"

Mal snorted. It was the most un-Mal sound I had ever heard him make. "How can you even ask that?"

"You won't let me touch you."

He gently turned me to face him. "You need to rest, baby. Your body has been through a lot tonight."

"I'm fine."

"No -"

"I swear to Christ, Mal. If you tell me no, one more time -"

His large body was suddenly on top of mine, my hands pressed above my head with his own as he supported himself above me. One thrust of his hips had his beautiful cock sliding over my still incredibly sensitive clit.

"When I finally fuck this pussy," he ground out. "It's going to be hard. It's going to be rough. I'm going to use your body like you've never imagined. My cock is going to be buried deep into all of your holes."

When I tried to move against him, he held firm, pinning me in place.

"You're going to drench me with how wet I'll make you. You'll beg me for it, you'll scream for my cock in your wet pussy, in your ass, down your throat, and I'll give it to you until you fucking pass out from the pleasure. So tonight you're going to rest. Keep your hands off my dick and go to sleep like a good girl. Let your body recover. Because soon, I'm going to ruin you."

And with that, he rolled off and pulled me into his side, gently cupping the back of my head as I lay it on his chest.

I exhaled slowly. "Well then."

My head bounced on his chest as he laughed. "Sweet dreams, Regan"

"Like I can sleep after that."

We lay in silence for a time, my fingers lightly running over his tattoos while his brushed through my hair. This was one of the things I had missed about Mal. Since he was generally a man of few words, we could enjoy each other's company without any pressure to talk. My mind wandered to nowhere in particular, finally calm and still. It had been so long since I'd been able to do that, and it seemed Mal was aware that the quiet was what I needed.

"Joshua didn't use a condom."

Nevermind.

His statement surprised me. Then, it embarrassed me. I hadn't even been paying attention in the moment, so lost in lust and pleasure that I hadn't been in the mindset to address it before Joshua had been sliding inside me, stretching me, driving so deep. My hips twitched as my body remembered how good he had felt, how good he made me feel.

"Regan."

I snapped back to attention. "It's - uh, it's fine. I'm on birth control."

"Are you clean?"

"Excuse me?" I jerked back from him.

"It's just a question, Regan. I'm not implying anything by it."

I grudgingly gave him a nod.

I was. As soon as Stephen went all crazy on me, right before I moved back to Maine, I had gotten checked. Not because I wanted to go whoring it around after breaking up with him. It was more for peace of mind. Stephen had begun morphing into a person I didn't recognize, and my gut feeling had me doubting everything he had ever said. I should have listened to that feeling more closely.

Since I discovered everything about him was a total lie, it was hard not to look back and notice all the obvious red flags. I hated the girl he turned me into when we were together. Who was that person? I had been so docile, accommodating, clueless, and doubting my own self-worth. How long had I been that shadow of myself? I liked to think it was only when I had been with Stephen, except it had begun long before that.

When Noah left, when I thought he had run away and forgotten me, a piece of me had absolutely been lost. When I forced the distance between myself and Mal and Joshua, I lost something else. And then I kept losing chunks of my already crumbling facade with every stupid decision I made - staying in Texas, refusing Riley's offers to move to Boston, ignoring my parents when they asked me to come home - until all that remained was a weak and gullible girl without a shield.

Stephen had swooped in like a wolf tracking the weakest of the herd.

These three men, my beautiful and strong men, were rescuing me from my downfall. Noah said I brought him back to life - they were doing the same for me. I may not have been in prison, or driven so low that life held no more meaning for me yet if the situation had been different and they hadn't barged back into my orbit when Riley died, I feared my life may have become damaged beyond repair.

"Baby," Mal's fingers tilted my chin up so I was looking into his fascinatingly dark eyes. "Where'd you go?"

"Thank you for finding me," I whispered. "For saving me."

He knew I wasn't talking about saving me from Stephen. "You were never lost to me. You never will be."

His eyes closed as my fingers threaded into his hair, and he didn't resist when I pulled his face to mine for a kiss. My tongue traced the seam of his lips, and a small, deep grumble escaped him, almost like a low purr. I smiled against him, loving that I could make this gruff, no-nonsense man make such a noise.

Mal took control of the kiss, and I surrendered willingly, letting him press me down into the bed and cover me with his body. With my head held in his hands and his hips fitted between mine, he slanted his mouth over mine, driving his tongue deep. Mal put everything he was feeling into his kisses. Where he didn't have the words or was too impatient to say them, he showed me with the strokes of his tongue, the urgent press of his lips, his sighs and groans - God, I could kiss this man forever. 

I could feel him still hard and ready between us, his body beginning to mimic the drive of his tongue. In response, I arched under him, my legs trying to wrap around him but he shifted, trapping my legs underneath him. My hands ran down his back, a moan escaping me while my fingers traveled over the muscles flexing and bending while he moved above me. I once again attempted to free a leg to hook over his and he pulled away.

"I'm not having sex with you tonight, so stop trying."

"Aren't you uncomfortable?"

He bit at my bottom lip, his hands still framing my face. "Terribly. As soon as you fall asleep, I plan on jerking off in the shower."

I groaned. "If you keep saying filthy things to me, I'm never going to calm down enough to sleep."

"Stop kissing me, and maybe you'll calm down."

"You're kissing me!"

"You started it."

With one last soft and lingering kiss, he pulled away, shifting his weight to lay beside me, his head resting in his hand. "Go to sleep. I'll stay with you until you do."

I huffed. "I know you like ordering me around but I don't just fall asleep on command."

His eyes trailed over my exposed breasts, the sheet twisted between us and covering nothing.

"You were half asleep when I was cleaning you."

"I was relaxed." I cocked an eyebrow. "And thoroughly fucked."

"You were so beautiful tonight." He traced a finger over my swollen lips before trailing it down over my chin to my throat. "The way these sexy lips wrapped around Noah."

His hand closed around my throat, applying pressure. My eyes widened. "I could see him fucking your throat and you took him all the way like such a good girl."

My breath stuttered, and he closed his hand a little tighter. He leaned down and started lightly kissing the same path his finger had taken. He released my throat, and his fingertips tickled the skin along my collarbone. I tensed. He was outlining each of the cuts Stephen inflicted, his index finger drawing circles around each small slice.

"You'll never feel this kind of pain again." He kissed the one closest to my neck. "Not while I'm around."

He kissed the next one.

"Never again, Regan."

And the next.

My body had gone limp by the time he had circled and kissed every one of the cuts on both of my shoulders. At the touch of his lips on my palm, my eyelids grew too heavy to stay open. Mal kissed the scrapes, whispering more promises of protection while he moved to my other hand. As he finished, he moved my hands to lay on either side of my head on the pillow.

Soon he was kissing down my body, past my breasts, over my hips and down my legs to my knees. He gave the fading bruises there the same loving treatment, tenderly kissing me while I began to feel the familiar pull of sleep weighing me down. 

He carefully arranged us back into the position we had started in, my small, relaxed body tucked and curled back against him. His lips moved along the shell of my ear, the words so quiet that my muddled brain had trouble making sense of them.

Finally he settled back, one hand splayed over my stomach protectively. I wove my fingers with his.

"I love you, too, Mal."

I fell asleep smiling and feeling hopeful for the future.