Hiroki's P.O.V.

I ran back home, taking way too long to get there. After having talked to Leonora, I felt like I needed to have a serious talk with Shania. It was unfair to her that she didn't know anything and I owed her an explanation as to why I had been the asshole I had been. As to why I had left her all alone and completely ignored her during a long time. As to why I had hurt her.

So I ran, hoping that I wouldn't arrive too late and that I wouldn't chicken out once I was in front of her. Although I'd probably be too out of breath to be able to say anything once I was there. But I had to at least try to get the message across and to tell her everything and to tell her how much I loved her. When was the last time I had said "I love you" to Shania? I couldn't even remember and it hurt to think that I hurt her by not showing my love and appreciation to her.

She was the best girlfriend, friend and caregiver one could ask for, and I wanted to let her know that. She had self-esteem issues, especially after what happened to Leonora, as she somehow blamed herself for it. But I had to show her, to tell her, to convince her, that she was perfect as she was and that she had nothing to hate herself for. I didn't hate her at all, and I knew that no one else did, unless they were somehow completely stupid and jealous of how amazing she was.

These thoughts just pushed me to run harder, making me grateful for the fact that I went out running every morning. Sometimes sports did pay off it seems.

Once I arrived, I rushed up the stairs to our flat, deciding that I wasn't even going to bother with the lift and risk it getting stuck. I also didn't have the patience to wait for it to come down from wherever it was. When I reached our floor, I had to stop myself from running to our door, thinking about our poor neighbours who wouldn't really appreciate it.

I opened the door quickly and, before even closing the door and forgetting completely about the neighbours, I yelled, not being able to contain myself and needing to get it out before I convinced myself that we shouldn't talk.

"SHANIA!! I LOVE YOU!! YOU ARE THE BEST EVER AND I LOVE YOU!!"

I then calmly closed the door and leaned down, hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath. I heard footsteps coming quickly towards me and I looked up to see Shania staring at me with wide eyes and surprise written all over her face. I straightened up and looked at her embarrassed while scratching the back of my head. I was feeling some serious embarrassment towards my shouting my love that way, and I wondered how I could be that crazy. My parents taught me better.

However, I didn't have time to dwell on this because Shania rushed towards me and hugged me extremely tight, putting her head on my shoulder. I could feel her tears falling down on me and I hugged her back, holding her tightly against me. We stayed like that for a while, holding each other. At some point, I had also started crying.

After we had cried our fill in each other's arms, Shania looked up at me with love-filled eyes. A look I hadn't seen in a long time and that, I now realised, had missed a lot.

"I love you too Hiroki."

At this, we both started crying again. It was the first time in so long that we said "I love you" and it was something we both needed to hear. Not because we doubted our love for each other, but because they were three little comforting words that were there to give reassurance and to show even more that we were there for each other. And that's what we needed right now. Reassurance and to be there for each other.

Why did we take so long to tell each other that? Why did we stay silent in our own little worlds of suffering, when we needed to be together and help each other? I felt really bad now about leaving Shania alone for so long, and I wanted to do something to help her. I wanted to bring her smile back. I wanted to go back to how it was when we started dating, when she'd come up with a dad joke every five seconds and she'd double over laughing when I couldn't even see what was funny. I wanted to go back to her endless debates about whether she should just shave her head or not (my answer always being no way). I wanted to give her her happiness back, no matter what.

And I supposed that the first time would be to talk to her.

So I took her hand and dragged her to the living room, making her sit down on the couch and sitting down on the floor in front of her. This position made me smile sadly. How many times had we been like this, her watching tv and me playing with my toys on the floor, or colouring something. Sometimes I'd sit between her legs, leaning against the couch, playing video games together. Those times were fun, even if she always beat me, no matter what game it was. I looked at her to see her mirroring my sad smile, and I realised that she was probably reliving the same memories. I smiled reassuringly and rubbed her knee, trying to show her that we'd go back to those times. We'd go back to being a happy couple, a happy mommy and her little regressor. We'd go back to being two university students who had no idea what they were doing and bonded over pizza, video games, Disney and stuffies.

This gave me an idea and, telling her to stay seated, I went to my room and grabbed a random stuffie, a little lion, and rushed back to her. I then gave it to her to hold and sat back down on the floor.

"Okay, now that we're all set, we need to talk."

🥢🥢

Hi there lovelies!

I am really updating again, so soon? The answer is yes! I had a bout of inspiration and I am finally class-less so I can write! Woohoo!🥳

What did you think of these last chapters? I hope you enjoyed them!😊 I'm sorry for having them be more "descriptive" and more in Hiroki's head, buuuuut it's also important to know what is going on in his head!

What do you want him to tell Shania? Who knows, I might even use your suggestions!🤷‍♀️

Don't forget to check out my Instagram! I'm gonna try to have it be more active soon, but I need ideas as to what to post exactly😅 so give me some pleaaaaaase!!🥺

Have a good day/night/evening!💖