I looked at the dust on the ground. She hates dust, she's never really had dust before. We were always travelling, always moving, so there was never any dust. I wonder how she feels about it.

"Hey Sexy", I said calmly.

You could barely hear her humming anymore, it was just heard. Any lower, and you would've been oblivious that there was anything there. Thats how bad it was; this is what I have done to her. I absolutely hate it. It is like torture, I'm almost 100% positive that it is the same thing.

I already started, can't stop now,"It's been some time."

I ran my fingers on the console; the amount of dust I swept up, you would never believe. A tiny Mount Everest of dust was on my fingers, just from brushing them against the console for a second. No, more than a second, less than five. But still, that's too much dust.

I barely know what I'm going to say next, I just know I have to say something.

"I didn't want it to be like this. I never thought how much it would impact you. I tried to cheer you up, but I couldn't. I'm trying to now, and even now, I don't know if I can."

The TARDIS and me have a telepathic link. She can hear my thoughts. Thats why it never worked, why I can never cheer her up. I can't lie to the TARDIS like I can to companions, I can't give her a sense of false happiness. She'e either happy, or she isn't, there's no in between. The last thing I wanted to happen was for my thoughts to become words, and I never knew that for the TARDIS, my thoughts were being projected into her core and screamed into her ears. I had forgotten all about her because I'm too busy mourning someone who is not even here. I guess I don't have to talk to explain, but I think that if she could, she would've turned off the telepathic connection. It's only right that I should talk to her now.

I clutched the dust in my hand.

"But nonetheless, I'm still trying, aren't I?"

I opened my hand and rubbed it against my leg so the dust would come off. I fixed my bow tie, something I did when I got embarrassed, was thinking, or while preparing to go into battle. Or sometimes when I just didn't know what to do. I only seem to know at the last minute, and then I'll usually win. But sometimes you're going to be late. And you never know when those sometimes will happen.

"So, do you want to talk to me?"

Still no hum. The TARDIS was absolutely lifeless. All because of what goes on in my mind. But you see, the telepathic circuit works both ways, but she never forgot about it like I did. I'm guessing she shielded me off from her thoughts otherwise I would've surely heard a response by now. She had good reasons to do it, too. She always knows what will happen. She's the one that has the power to travel through time and space, I'm only the boy who is pressing all the buttons.

"Why'd did you shut me out? Now you suffer in silence. Don't you hate it? Doesn't it just build up? Don't you just want to scream? Everyone wants to shout out their fears once in a while! Say what's been going on in their minds! It gets too much for people, suffering in silence. Until they no longer can do it anymore." I choked. Realization hit. The TARDIS and I are so alike, way too alike, even. I didn't need a telepathic circuit to show me that both our thoughts are identical. "How am I going on?", I mumbled to myself, "Hasn't it been enough, Doctor?"

I stifled my breathing. Calm down. This isn't about you, not this time. It's about the TARDIS. And when did you start sounding like a grumpy old man?

"How are you? How have you been doing? I've heard that it can become too much for people when they suffer in silence. Please, tell me what's going on."

I looked at the console and waited. Absolutely no life. No humming, no beeping, no lights. Nothing.

The TARDIS used to be bright, the noise it made was the noise of hope. You heard it, and even if it was for the first time, there was something about it, something that made you wonder. How much hope is in an infinite box? Right now, I'm not so sure.

The TARDIS used to be fun. She used to bring us on amazing adventures. She helped me plan sometimes. Thats when we had extra fun. Now we never go anywhere.

The TARDIS used to be serious. She didn't necessarily take me where I wanted to go, but where I needed to be. She helped me earn my title. Now she's being immature and outright ignoring me.

The TARDIS was human once. Such excitement and amazement on her face when she saw that she could finally interact like I did. She could send messages into your mind with the telepathic circuits, something that I could do, but still, so much curiosity. She saved Amy and Rory's lives. Now she's just a type 40 with a broken chameleon circuit.

The TARDIS though, was never just a box. She was always more than that. She was more than just 'bigger on the inside' and a machine that could travel in space and time. She was a friend, from the start. She liked to complain that instead of me stealing her, she stole me. But why would she want to steal this much pain? Everything good comes with a little pain, it's a guarantee. But I can't handle the pain now.

Because right now, the TARDIS is just a box, just a dust magnet. With a stone cold heart and my bitter thoughts drowning her mind. I can't help her. I can't fake happiness, she'll see right past me. The only thing I can do now, is tell the truth.

"I'm sorry I never asked."

And in this moment, I don't know who has it worse. Me, or her.