***

I think I must be dreaming.

I can hear voices, whispers, feel the cold air on my skin, smell the sharp scent of cleaning chemicals. But although my senses work, control of my body seems to have all but failed me. I'm just like an empty shell, but then again, that's what I've always felt like.

"Alec, please wake up, I'm sorry. I'll explain." A soft, feminine voice is whispering in my ear, making the fine hairs on my neck rise, "don't leave me."

I can smell roses, which must be the scent of her perfume, because I know that smell. It's why Violet always smells like; flowers, roses to be precise. I always imagined her to be like her namesake flower, but apparently not. I've never smelt violets, or seen the colour, but I know that it'd be a beautiful colour - it'd have to be to match her.

I feel fingers wrap around my own ones, my skin tingling, but unable to respond. I feel helpless, I'm a soul trapped in a useless body. I want to hug her, I want to tell her why I want to leave, but I can't.

"Please Alec, wake up," Violet pleads, gripping my hand tighter, "your mum, she's so worried, everyone is. You're needed in this world Alec, just like everyone else. And you're needed now."

She's right. I should never have tried this. Now everything will be ten times worse. Instead of fixing my problems, I've only created more. I'll be on suicide watch, I probably gave my mother a heart attack, I'll be watched at school, be pushed around more and be the receiver of sympathetic looks.

Great.

All I've done is made things worse, but then again, isn't that what I always do? Wasn't that what I was trying to prevent; the burden of me on other people.

Suicide is supposed to be something that's pretty darn easy. I mean, humans are such fragile creatures, how hard is it to end your life? Too hard for me, obviously. I even managed to fuck up suicide, I mean, how much more of a loser can I be? So much that I really don't want the answer to that question...

"I never should've ignored you, not now, please wake up!" She pleads beside me, but I can't Violet, I think in response, I don't want to, not now, not ever, and I don't care how selfish it sounds, "please, Alex."

I can see what she's trying to do, and it's working.

"I-it's A-Alec, with a-a c," I manage to choke out, keeping my eyes shut, but my voice, although croaky and hoarse, still works.

"I knew you could hear me," she says, her voice a mix between joy and tears as she squeezes my hand, "I'm so, so sorry Alec, don't ever do that again."

I won't do anything like it again. If I ever attempt suicide, I'll actually succeed, so I don't feel like the ultimate loser of everything. I don't want to face this now. I've only fucked up more. I'm already a fuck up, now I've just proved that even more.

I manage to pull my eyes open, bringing at a blurry Violet, the lights almost blinding, the scent of cleaning chemicals pricking my nose. I stare at Violet, unsure what to make of her. One minute, we're running around the city, the next I'm dead to her, until she shows up beside me in the hospital bed.

It's like I've always said: people only care when something dramatic happens, which right now, is exactly the case with Violet.

"Alec, I know you think I'm an ass, but I just wanted... Look, I've made bad choices in my past, and those choices still haunt me. I just don't want them to haunt you too," she says, sighing, dropping my hand to wipe her own eyes.

I want to speak, but I've used the little energy I had. My vision is blurry and dull, taking the beauty out of the world. I just want to drift off, never get up... But then her hand slips into mine, squeezing it tightly as if I'm her lifeline, a tear falls onto the top of my hand, and I know, deep down, that I don't want to go.

Not yet, anyway.

***

*two weeks later*

Violet gives me a small smile before we walk in the school gate.

I've been back a week, and thankfully, no one has heard of my little suicide attempt. It would only give them something else to tease me about, which is honestly not what I need. Why do we always pick on those who are different. I hate all the people that hate me because I'm colourblind, but I guess I'm a hypocrite, because it's me who hates my colourblindness the most.

"You okay?" She asks, her hand in mine, "c'mon, or we'll be late."

So I follow her. I let her pull me to our first class, somewhere my legs are all but willing to go. The halls are the same dull grey they always are, as is everyone else. But Violet seems brighter in a sense, still in black and white, but in my eyes, she's the brightest grey of all.

"Seriously, you okay?" She asks, nudging my leg with her knee under the desk.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I say, smiling at her, "as long as you're here."

"You're such a dork." She laughs.

"I know."

When the last bell rings, Violet drags me to the art room, a place I haven't been since eighth grade. As soon as I could, I dropped art, because what's the point of doing it if you can't see the colours which make up the piece.

And I failed colour theory, but it's pretty obvious why. I can't believe the teacher still made me do it. She told me to just guess. Yeah right, how about you just piss off evil art teacher.

"Why are we here?" I ask, creasing my eyebrows together in confusion as I look around the familiar room, canvases everywhere, art materials stacked up on shelves.

"I wanted to show you my art piece I'm working on," she says, leading me over to where a large canvas stands.

It's hard to make out what it is at the moment, it's all just a series of splatters and lines, but it still looks like art, and I can't stop looking at it.

"It's nice," I say, "really nice. But um, what's it supposed to be?"

"Uh uh, not until it's done," she says, smiling

"I wish I could see it like everyone else does," I complain, sitting on a desk and sighing, "this is why I hate art. It reminds me I'm colourblind."

"It doesn't have to," she says, sitting next to me, so close our shoulders touch, "my piece, it's all black, white and grey, you see it like everyone else. This is why art is great Alec, it doesn't have to remind you you're colourblind, it can show you you're not."

"But I am," I point out bluntly, "I definitely am colourblind."

"But not to some things. You see three colours exactly like everyone else," she says, "so why don't you focus on that fact instead?"

"I've never thought of it that way. But anyway, black, white and grey aren't even colours," I say, running a hand through my hair.

"Yes they are. Who are you to say they're not colours? They're a shade you can see with your eyes, they're a colour. You're not totally colourblind Alec, only to some colours. Just because you're different doesn't mean you have to miss out on everything."

"So your point is...?" I ask

"Art is good Alec, it's a way too feel like you can do something, it's a way to express yourself," she says, jumping off the desk and pulling me after her, "I want you to try it."

She pushes me in front of a blank canvas and nods over to the shelf of paints beside me.

"Go on," she says, "pick one, whichever one feels right."

I scan the shelf, and eventually reach for one on the left hand side, because out of all the grey bottles, this one looks the brightest. She squeezes some onto a pallet and hands me a brush. I don't k ow what to do, so I just awkwardly swirl some paint around until she joins me, and we end up just covering the whole canvas.

She laughs, stepping back, a smear of paint on her cheek.

"So, what colour do you reckon that is Alec?" She asks

I shrug, and pick up the bottle, unable to hide my smile when I read the label.

"It's violet," I say, looking at the canvas

"Yeah, it is," she laughs, "coincidence huh? So, do you like the colour Violet Alec?"

I laugh lightly, before looking over at her, into her captivating, grey eyes. I really like Violet Black, and I think she's the best thing that's ever happened to me. So I smile at her, slipping my hand into hers before saying:

"It's the most beautiful colour of all."

*********

AN: hey hope you liked the chapter!

Sorry it's been a while but anyway...

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Thanks for reading! Hope you're enjoying it so far.

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