Kyle awkwardly stands on the outdoor grass area with a pout on his face. A small child run circles around his legs as they chase a ball. I almost feel sorry for him, but not enough to start a rescue mission. This morning when Kyle picked me up, he rushed me out the door without a second glance. I didn't get time to finish my herbal tea or breakfast and in a result of that, I'm starving. I'm sorry, mate, but you'll have to adapt.

    Besides, this will be life lessons for Kyle that will pay off in the future. This baby is coming soon and they'll need lots of friends to play with. Children can be so cheeky! They always require an abundance of attention to keep their brains stimulated.

"Are you okay, Ava?" asks Eden.

My head snaps in her direction as a smile filters onto my face. London kicks her feet and grizzles to get off my lap. We've been sitting her for a long period of time, so I'm surprised she's lasted this long. London is very inquisitive about the new space but I'm afraid to let her go. I know she'll be safe, but I need to hold onto someone.

    "Yes, I'm okay." I nod.

"Do you want to share anything with the group?" Eden clasps her hands together and continues to gaze in my direction.

I wanted to talk about the issue with my mother, but as I listened to everyone share, I felt like I couldn't talk about it. Perhaps it was a case of the nerves getting the best of me, but the comfortable feeling wasn't there. I felt like I could share about parenting issues, but nothing else. I really needed to handle this myself and this morning proved it.

Life is like learning to ride a bike. At some point, you have to take the train wheels off and keep riding yourself. There's training wheels were coming off quicker than I'd expected.

    "Are you sure?" asks Eden.

    "Yeah, I'm alright," I reply.

    "Okay." Smiles Eden. "Anyone else?"

    When nobody answers, Eden claps her hands together as she stands up.

    "Thanks for sharing everyone. If you'd like to share a drink with me in the kitchen or stay for a play, you're welcome to do so. Next week, we're going out for breakfast so we can arrange a meeting time a place throughout the week," she explains.

    Instead of following the women, I take London to the playmat set on the ground. When I place her down, she crawls off to grab a blocks to play with. Her grizzly mood is quickly cleared up now that she's able to do her own thing.

    "Are least you're happy." I laugh.

    London giggles and grabs another block so that she has one in either hand.

    "Hey." I turn around to see Charlotte walking towards me with a cup of water. Surprisingly, she takes a seat on the ground and interacts with London. There are a few blocks on the mat which Charlotte uses to stack.

    London tries to follow Charlotte's direction with stacking her blocks, but the small tower is knocked over.

    "Next time, London." Charlotte giggles.

    London smiles and grabs the blocks to play. She throws one on the ground which bounces off the mat. This makes her curious, so she crawls over to investigate.

    "So, how are you?" asks Charlotte.

    "I'm great, yourself?"

    "Are you really?" Charlotte runs her fingers through her hair. "Kyle's really worried about you."

    "Oh." I'm taken back by her words.

    "Well." I half-smile. "I'm getting there."

    "That's always a good start." She smiles.

    "The baby is fine and that's enough for me. Everything else will fall into place. It feels weird stepping back into life. Nothing has changed with me, but everything around me has. I woke up with a bigger baby bump and that shocked me," I explain.

    I place both hands on my bump and rub is for comfort. While it's an adjustment, I'm happy that the baby is fine. I'd spend so much time worry about what I'd do and how things would work out. Being put in the position where I could have lost the baby, it's given me a new perspective on life. I never want to lose my baby. I want to see them grow up and experience life.

    If I lost the baby, it would break me. Overcoming the struggles of losing my brother was hard enough, but my child? My beautiful unborn child. No, I couldn't do it. I'm thankful I never have to feel that pain.

    "But are you fine?" asks Charlotte.

    I don't want to break into a mess of tears, so I nod my head and smile.

    "I know we're not friends and that things are weird between us," starts Charlotte.

    "What's happening there?" I interject. I'm curious about Kyle and Charlotte. Kyle is no help in the matter, so I wonder how Charlotte feels on the subject.

    Charlotte shrugs her shoulders and smiles. It's the kind of smiles that love sick girls make. The one where nothing in the world can touch them. I clearly remember feeling like that. Now that the honeymoon phase has gone, it's scary to be in love. Scratch that, it's dangerous.

    "Nothing," she dismisses.

    "But you two seem so taken by each other?" When I first realised Charlotte and Kyle were seeing each other, they were quick to click together.

    "You can't be in love with someone who's in love with another," chirps Charlotte.

    "But?"

    "You have no control over those feelings either." As Charlotte brushes her hair away, I see the broken curve to the smile clinging to her face.

Love is a dangerous game we love to play, no matter the burn. The fire will continuously seduce us despite the catastrophic damage. You can't stay in the cold forever, not with the idea of love to keep you warm.

"One day, I'm sure he'll come to his sense," I encourage. I'm not sure what else to say, perhaps an inspiring speech about Blake and I? I never thought he'd glance my way, let alone be the father of my baby. But I feel as if things are different here.

"He'll realise things, but not what I want him to." And with the cryptic message, Charlotte flips the conversation.

"Tell me about you, Ava."

"I'm afraid."

I fear yesterday, I fear today, and I fear tomorrow. There are many things to be afraid of, and it kills me inside. I just want the best.

"I can somewhat relate. I've never lost a child, but." She looks down and flicks her hair out. The strands of hair cover her face like a protective layer keeping her safe.

    The curious part in me wants to know why she's afraid, yet I know I could never ask.

    "You don't have to tell me." I weakly smile.

    "But I want to," insists Charlotte. "I gave my baby up for adoption."

    I'm taken back by her words. Adoption? I'd never pictured Charlotte to have a child and with her sister's condition, well, I'd thought she'd have kept the baby. However, we're not our siblings just as we're not our parents sometimes. More than DNA makes a person.

    "What happened?" I ask.

    "I was so young." She frowns. "My mum was sick and I couldn't balance things. The agency found a couple who couldn't have their own, so it was perfect. It kills me every day, but I know it was the best choice I could make for him."

    "Do you regret it?" I don't think I could have the strength to give my child up, but I'm not in her situation, and I'm not in Tori's. I have support and I have my family.

    "No." Charlotte shakes her head. "It's was the one selfless act I could do as a mother."

    The concept of selfish and selfless is an odd one if you think about it. To be selfish is to be consumed by yourself, but to be selfless, it to allow others to consume you. In the act of balancing the selfless and selfish, you lose who you are. Are you the one making the decision, or are you the one who's been taken control of?

    In some cases, you need to be selfish to be selfless, which is why it'll never completely make sense. I could be selfish enough to hold my child close but never selfless enough to sacrifice myself in order to let them go. My mother had felt the same way. She couldn't let go and neither could I. We'd forever chase the cycle in hopes of doing the right thing, even if it's wrong to others.

    "I think you're brave, Charlotte."

    "You're the same, even if you don't see it." The words make me smile, it's something Logan would say. He'd be shaking his head at the right mess I've made.

    "I don't feel like it today," I admit. "I'm afraid of what my mother will say. I just want her to be there for me."

    "She'll come around." Charlotte smiles.

"Do you think?"

    "Actions don't always need to be loud to have meaning, they just need to be made out of love."

    With a nod, "I guess you're right."

"Now come on, let's go outside and play." Charlotte helps me off the ground and takes London into her grasp.

We head outside with the others and Charlotte wanders over to Kyle. London tries to get to Kyle, but he looks away and ignores her. It's not until Charlotte forces Kyle to hold London that he scoops her into his arms. I see the smiles on their face and wonder why they're not together already.

I agree that love is a dangerous game, but at some point there has to be worth. If there's no gain for the consequence, there wouldn't be a worth for playing with fire. I think those two will play with fire, but I don't know which one will walk unscathed, especially when the wind determines the flicker of the flame.

Who do you think will get hurt, Char or Kyle?