chapter three - wake up, wake up

↣ • ↣ • ↣ • ↣ • ↣

I walked into the theater and bought my ticket for the movie, my head held high and a little smirk on my face. Anxiety wasn't going to stop me. I was going to show Ryden what he was missing.

"Jocelyn! Over here!" I turned and saw Faith waving me over. Ryden was already there.

I strutted over, knowing his eyes were on me, and for good reason. I had dressed in black - tight shirt, skinny jeans - with a red leather jacket to top it off. Red high heeled boots covered my feet, and I had worn red lipstick. I knew I looked great.

When I stopped in front of them, Ryden looked me up and down. "Nice jacket," he said.

I smiled. "Thanks."

When Ryden looked at his phone for a second, Faith looked at me and mouthed, "Meeeeow!" making a cat claw. I smiled and winked.

I started chatting to Faith about the movie we were going to see, some sort of fantasy magic romance thing that sounded horrible. But apparently Andrea had really wanted to see it, so we were there. I felt Ryden's eyes on me multiple times, but I ignored them.

Faith went to go get popcorn, and I turned to Ryden, who tore his eyes away from me and trained them on the ground.

"Something in the air, huh?" I teased, a grin on my face.

He looked up, angry. "Stop it."

I raised my eyebrows. "Okay." A feeling of guilt suddenly covered me. "I'm sorry."

He shook his head and sighed. "Wake up, wake up..." he whispered.

I wasn't sure if he was talking to me or himself. Not that it mattered. We both needed to wake up. He had a girlfriend. I was screwed up and had anxiety issues that I knew no male in their right mind would try to deal with.

But it didn't matter how many times I told myself these things. I was still pulled to him by some sort of invisible cord. One that my scissors refused to cut.

I met his eyes and resisted the urge to smooth out the wrinkles in his jacket. I realized he had a new item on his face. "Glasses?"

He shrugged. "I usually wear contacts."

I smiled. I loved them on him. They suited him, smoothed out the edges around his face a little bit, brought out his dark chocolate eye color so well. And I wanted to tell him all of this, but instead I said something simple, something that would make everything between us simpler.

"They look good on you."

He grinned. "Thanks."

Just then, Faith came back, along with Andrea and Raylel. It was time for the movie.

↣ • ↣ • ↣ • ↣ • ↣

I sat in the theater, Faith on one side and Ryden on the other. No, I didn't plan it that way. But Faith wanted to sit next to me and Raylel, and Andrea wanted to sit next to Raylel. On the other side of Raylel was the aisle. So Ryden sat next to me.

I was suddenly hyper aware of his breathing, every move he made. I could almost see the flames he inhaled and the smoke he exhaled and the lightning shining in his eyes.

God, he truly was made of fire. It was like he had swallowed the sun.

Get over yourself, Jocelyn. Just friends, remember?

The previews ended and the movie played, but I couldn't tell you what it was about.

I was too aware of him to concentrate on anything else.

↣ • ↣ • ↣ • ↣ • ↣

"That was awesome! Remember when Anna threw her drink in Paul's face? I wish I had the guts to do that," Andrea said, her voice having a bit of a wistful tone.

"My favorite part was when Anna turned Daniel into a snake. Brought out his true soul, don't you think?" Raylel giggled.

I couldn't recall any of that. I was staring at something in the distance, completely spaced out.

"Jocelyn? What was your favorite part?"

I snapped back to reality, and looked at Faith, who was asking the question. Quick, Jocelyn, think of something...

"It was actually what Raylel was just talking about. I thought it was really.... ironic," I quickly made up.

Andrea laughed. "Yeah, irony was definitely a big part of the movie. Like, remember when..."

They continued talking and I just stood at the edge of it all, looking down at my heels. My feet hurt so bad. How do celebrities do it? I wondered.

"Jocelyn? Are you okay?" Ryden's voice asked.

I popped my head up and met his eyes. There were little flecks of gold in there that I hadn't noticed before.

"Um... yeah. Just..." Then my stomach rumbled and I laughed, finally realizing why I was spacing out so much more than usual. Everyone else joined in.

"Hungry?" Ryden finished, an eyebrow raised and a twinkle in his eye.

I nodded, still smiling. So we headed off to the nearest pizza place.

↣ • ↣ • ↣ • ↣ • ↣

Fabiano's Pizza was like the Subway of pizza restaurants. You walk in, and someone builds you your own personal pizza.

I walked in with everyone else, feeling the familiar twang in my stomach that I always get when I'm forced to talk to strangers. The place was practically empty - it was only us and a man eating his pizza in the corner. I looked at the menu while everyone else chattered around me. I then waited in line while they ordered their pizzas and tried not to hyperventilate.

Then, it was my turn. I looked at the teenage girl who was serving me, and was surprised to see that it was the girl from Ryden's Instagram. Ryden, who was behind me, smiled and walked up next to me. "Hey."

Kylee smiled back and grabbed his hand from across the counter. "Oh, my Ryden! Baby, I didn't know you were coming here! Are those girls your friends? I recognize some of them from Athletics," she cooed. I fought the urge to roll my eyes at her babyish tone.

"Yep. But I didn't even know you were working tonight! I thought you had that soccer match," Ryden replied.

The conversation continued as I just stood off to the side. I probably would've just walked away, but I cleared my throat instead. I was hungry, and I wanted my food.

"Oh, God, I'm so sorry!" Ryden exclaimed when he finally noticed me. "Jocelyn, this is Kylee. Kylee, this is a friend of Faith's, and a new friend of mine."

Kylee stuck her hand out and smiled prettily. "Hi! It's nice to meet you."

I smiled back, with more confidence than I had in me, and I took her hand and shook it. What I wanted to say was "Hi, I'm the girl your boyfriend was flirting with all night at Faith's birthday party." Instead I said, "You too."

Her head tilted to the side and she said in thought, "Hey, I think I've seen you somewhere before. Maybe on the internet?"

Panic rose up in me and I let go of her hand. The GT Fake. I wanted to run out of there as fast as I could, and I was about to.

Instead, Ryden came to my rescue. "No, I don't think you have. Don't worry about it," he said, cool and calm.

She still looked like she was trying to remember, but she accepted the explanation. "Oh, okay. So what can I get for y'all?"

I couldn't stand talking to her anymore, or seeing her interact with "her Ryden". I spat out my order as fast as possible, then I ran to the bathroom. Luckily, it was a one-staller.

Tears slowly trickled down my face as I splashed my face with sink water.

Why do I care so much? It's not like we would ever be anything. Ever, I thought.

"I can't just have such a deep connection with someone one night, and then act like acquaintances the next. I don't work that way," I whispered to myself, answering my own question.

I sat on yet another bathroom floor and regained my composure.

Then I walked out to face the fire.

↣ • ↣ • ↣ • ↣ • ↣

"Jocelyn! Here's your pizza!" Kylee handed me my box and I thanked her politely, then went over to the others.

"So, like, this guy does a huuuuge backflip off of his surfboard into the wave. And everyone on the beach is staring, hoping he's gonna make it out alive, when...BOOM! He pops out of the water and everyone applauds," Andrea said, reminiscing. "It was like he was magical or something."

Faith noticed me and patted the spot next to her. "Hey, Joce! There you are. Andrea was just telling us a story from her vacation in Hawaii."

I sat and replied, "Wow, Andrea, I didn't realize you'd been to Hawaii."

"Oh, yeah!" she exclaimed. "I love tropical islands. You should see the Caribbean. Crystal. Blue. Waters."

I smiled a bit. "I bet." Then I started to eat my pizza.

"So," Raylel jumped in, leaning closer to me from across the table. "What's your story? We don't know much about you."

I chewed and swallowed before replying. "Well, I grew up in Maryland. I'm an only child. I had a little brother, but he died at six months old. He had breathing problems. I was only 4, maybe 5," I began.

"Wow, I'm so sorry," a chorus of voices rang out to me.

"My parents couldn't stand staying in Maryland, so we moved. And that's how I ended up here," I concluded, taking a sip of my soda.

"What else? What school do you go to?" Andrea asked.

Both Faith and Ryden looked at me with wide eyes. Faith's eyes held anxiety, and Ryden's held concern, which made my heart flutter a bit. He cares.

"I go to the local public school," I lied. And their faces relaxed.

"Awww, that sucks," Raylel pouted. "You should transfer to the Academy."

"My parents think it's a waste of money," I explain.

"Well, this upcoming year is your sophomore year, right? The Academy has some great music and art programs for sophomores. Not to mention amazing education as well," Andrea persuaded.

I bit my lip and sighed. "I guess I can try. I do want to get into a different school," I admitted.

Faith smiled at me. "Your parents are totally supportive. They should understand once they realize this is what's best for you."

I agreed and glanced at Ryden, who hadn't said much this whole time. He seemed to be deep in thought.

We finished our pizza and started to leave. I picked up my bag and was going to follow Faith out the door when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned and met Ryden's eyes.

"I'm going to stay behind. Tell the others, and meet me in your clearing. Got it?" he whispered.

I nodded. "Wait... do you even know where the clearing is?"

"I'm good at directions. I'll work it out," he answered. Then he smiled. "Now go."

So I went out the door. But before I closed it, I heard Ryden's voice say, "Kylee? Can I talk to you for a second?"