"Jordan, door's for you," my mom calls up to me.

I throw my pillow over my face and groan. Then I pretend I didn't hear her, since I don't want to get out of bed. My eyes are tightly closed and I pull the covers over my head.

"Jordan, get your fat, lazy buttocks out of bed!" That's Jack.

I groan again and turn onto the other side. Have these people never heard of sleeping in?

"Come on, Jordan!" Jack's voice yells once again.

"Shut your face hole, Jack!" I shout.

"Isn't somebody grumpy?" Jack's laughter booms through the house.

I can hear footsteps coming up the stairs, so I burry myself deeper into my covers and hold onto them tight. This bed is too darn comfy. There's no way I'm getting out of here.

And the blankets are ripped off of me. I shield my poor eyes from the blinding light. They slowly adjust, and I see Jack standing before me. I think I invented a new language. It's where you groan and the louder the groan, the more irritated you are. I just groaned pretty loud.

"Really?" Jack laughs.

"What?" I rub my eyes irritably.

"Watermelon onesie?" He laughs again.

I look down, and sure enough, I'm wearing my onesie pajamas that are decorated in smiling watermelons. "What does it matter to you?"

Jack shakes his head. "I just never pictured you as the... Smiley watermelon... Type."

I sigh and try to sit up. "Why are you here?"

"I didn't think you were this lame," Jack shakes his head, sitting on the edge of my bed.

"Lame? You're kidding right?" I roll my eyes tiredly.

"You, Jordan Green, are not spending your Valentine's Day alone," Jack yanks me up out of the bed with one hand.

"Who said I was going to?" I ask, crossing my arms.

"Ray can wait for one day. I want you to come have a fun, worry free day," Jack smiles.

"But-"

"No, really," Jack says. "It'll be good for you. And fun."

"How do you know I wasn't going to hang out with..." Lizzie? Not an option anymore. Don't linger on the thought. Sierra? Hasn't talked to me in a month. My parents? Yeah, no. I'm a loner. "Fine."

"Excellent," Jack nods. "I told your mom already, she's down for it. We leave in ten minutes. I'll be downstairs!"

So, I shove Jack out of my room and slam the door closed in his face. I throw on dark denim jeans and a black and white polka dot shirt. I brush out my hair and leave it in its natural waves. Then, I throw on my converse and scurry out the door.

"Ready?" Jack calls.

"Yes," I tell him, running down the stairs, tripping and face planting at the bottom.

"Wow, graceful," Jack laughs.

"Ouch," I groan, peeling my face off the floor and taking his hand to stand up.

"Thank you, Jack," my mom walks into the front room. "For taking her. You know how worried I've been."

"Right here, mom," I remind her, rolling my eyes.

Jack chuckles. "It's a pleasure." He turns to me. "Ready?"

"Sure," I nod.

Jack opens the door and nods to my mother before gesturing for me to step outside before him. We make our way to his truck and hop inside.

"Where are we headed?" I ask, putting my purse on my lap.

Jack clicks his tongue. "It's a surprise."

I frown at him. "Come on, seriously?"

"Seriously," Jack confirms with a short nod.

"But that's a cliché date move," I frown even more.

"Now it's a cliché friend-hangout-forevs move."

"Did you just say forevs?" I snort.

"Yeah, I sure did. Who are you, stopping' me?"

"You have got to be kidding me," I shake my head.

"Sorry bae, but I'm totes not jk'ing, lol you be hilar!" Jack screeches.

"Argghhh! Shut up!" I plug my ears.

Jack flips his hair dramatically with his hands. "Just acting like you and those other girls."

I punch his head. "I do not act like that, you turd!"

"Says the one that punches like a girl," Jack raises his eyebrows.

And I about blow up. Danger, explosives in this car. "Oh yeah?" And I furiously punch his shoulder with my fists as hard as I can.

"How," punch, "do," punch, "you," punch, "like," punch, "my," punch, "girly," punch, "punches," punch, "now?" I grumble, out of breath.

Jack rubs his arm and groans. "Really? Really? You want to get us killed?"

That was the wrong thing to say, and he can see it. Those trigger words flood my mind with thoughts and I picture the accident repeatedly. I can see the two cars colliding and I can see the bleeding bodies and Lizzie through the windshield and Ray's smashed torso. Their mangled bodies and the flaming cars take over. And I scream, eyes shut closed.

I can't hear anything but the sound of the car's brakes screeching. I can't see anything but the blood. I can't feel anything but terror.

My hands cover my ears and try to block out the terrible screams that I recognize as Lizzie's and the sound as the cars collide. I try to block it all out, but it won't leave me alone and

I

Am

Going

Insane

******************************

"Jordan, please," Jack whispers into my ear. "Please say something."

I'm huddled against him, his arms around me. He pulled the car over when my breakdown began, and has been holding me since.

I've gone into shut down mode. My eyes are staring at the steering wheel. My ears take in the words but don't process them. I feel empty.

"Jordan," Jack's soothing voice tells me. "Listen to me."

Blink. Breathe.

"You're okay. You're fine. You're safe. Alright? You're here," Jack whispers. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I should've known. I'm an idiot."

Jack sighs and places a lock of my hair behind my we carefully. "I'm sorry."

Breathe in. Breathe out.

"I know it's been hard," Jack continues, "but please don't shut me out."

I try to respond, to nod, to do something to show that I'm not trying to, but my throat tightens and my body stiffens and I can't do anything.

"We can go home if you want," Jack says, shifting beneath me. "We can do this tomorrow, or the next day."

I barely shake my head. "No," I croak. "I'm... I'm fine. Just," breathe, "drive slowly."

"Alright. You okay?" Jack looks at me uncertainly.

I nod, and climb off of him so he can get back into the drivers seat.

The rest of the ride is silent.

******************************

"Here we are," Jack announces.

I look up and see that we're at a brand new bakery that was just built a week ago. I've been wanting to try this place.

"Let us eat!" Jack says, hopping out of the car, and I do too.

We walk into the building and stand ourselves in line. I try to see ll the items in the glass compartment at the front of the line, but I'm too short even on tippy toes.

The walls in here are painted a light purple color and the cute tables match it. There's a huge violet chandelier hanging from the center and spiraling stairs leading to the upper level. I look around in awe at my surroundings.

"Next, please," the woman at the counter says.

I step forward. Jack follows.

"Hello, what can I get for you two today?" Her name tag says 'Allen.'

"Oh, I'll get..." I look down at the dozens of baked goods and am overwhelmed by the choices. "... That peanut butter bar." I hand her a ten.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Jack holds out his hand to Allen, who looks utterly confused. "I am not letting a lady pay on Valentine's Day."

I put my hands on my hips. "Oh really now?"

Jack ignores me and turns to Allen. "I'll take a slice of strawberry cheesecake."

And he takes back my ten and stuffs it into my purse for me. Then he pays with his own money before I can unbury mine.

Jack starts to walk to a front table, and I follow. He pulls out my chair like a gentleman, so I curtsy like a lady before taking a seat.

"Wow, you can be ladylike?" Jack gasps in awe.

"Oh, shut your face, Gramma," I roll my eyes and take a bite out of my peanut butter bar.

"So now I'm a gramma?" Jack asks, slicing off a pice of cheesecake.

"Get with it, man," I nod.

"How can I be a man and a gramma at the same time?" Jack laughs.

"I don't know," I shake my head. "You should be able to answer that question for yourself."

And there's another silence while we eat our food. Though I may not want to admit it to his face, I've actually been glad to come here today. It's nice to get out of the house.

"Have you been going to school again?" Jack asks, mouth full of food.

I sigh. "Yeah, I just don't want to stand out in the crowd right now."

Jack nods. "I understand," he says. "Why would you get a peanut butter bar on Valentines Day?"

I quirk am eyebrow. "Why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know, maybe you would want something more Valentinesy like, say, cheesecake or chocolate covered strawberries," Jack says.

"Maybe I just really like peanut butter," I shrug.

"That's not a good reason," Jack shakes his head.

"Oh yeah? Why not?"

"You've got to try new things sometimes."

"I can't believe we're having this deep of a conversation over my mid-day dessert choice," I laugh.

"I can be deep about any subject," Jack says. "It's a talent."

"Alright, how about erasers?" I ask.

"Even though in this life, you may want things to turn out perfectly, you still have the power to erase your mistakes. Nobody's perfect," Jack says.

"Hannah Montana," I mutter under my breath.

"Hannah Montana," Jack says. "She used to be such a talented actress and singer and I loved her show. She was destined for great things, but there was a turn down a different road." Jack places a hand to his heart.

And I burst out laughing. "Oh my gosh, Jack." And I can't stop my laughter.

Jack is laughing too now, watching me laugh because I probably look like an idiot right now.

The door at the front of the building opens, and I don't pay attention to it at first because I'm laughing so hard there are tears clouding my vision. But as I clear my vision and the laughter dies down, I am taken aback.

I blink. I blink again, to make sure this isn't my imagination.

No, Ray is most certainly standing at the front of the bakery with a bouquet of roses in hand. But he doesn't look happy, he looks sad.

And that's when I realize he sees Jack. Here, eating dessert with me, on Valentine's Day.

I want to say that he doesn't understand yet, that Jack is my friend, that he had to drag me here. I want to ask how he got out of the hospital. I want to say that I tried to visit him. I want to say that I still love him, that I've missed him so much. That I've seen him every day.

But before so much as his name comes out of my mouth, the flowers drop from his hands. He backs away slowly and reaches for the door handle.

I stand up and run forward, but the door is open. As Ray takes a step out, he takes one last painful look at me.

And, right before my eyes, he's shot straight in the back.